


After Nightfall

by NightBloomingPeony



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Blood Drinking, Bondage, Character Turned Into Vampire, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Immortality, Light BDSM, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Marriage, Monsters, New Moon AU, Original Character(s), Romance, Secrets, Sexual Content, Soulmates, Teasing, Trauma, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Violence, Volturi, World Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 179,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24926413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightBloomingPeony/pseuds/NightBloomingPeony
Summary: In an alternate universe, in which Bella's birthday party incident never happened and Edward never left, the two get married soon after the events of "Twilight". Edward agrees to change her and they plan a trip to Alaska for this. Upon returning, things go terribly wrong. Soon enough, they realize they have to leave their safe haven behind and venture into a nomadic existence.
Relationships: Edward Cullen & Bella Swan, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 66
Kudos: 100





	1. Resisting

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, guys!
> 
> Having been a Twilight fan for God knows how long, I've always wondered: what would have happened if that whole birthday incident in "New Moon" never happened? And since my enthusiasm for this saga has been reignited by the "Midnight Sun" announcement (God bless Stephenie's soul for this), I decided to give it a try and answer that question myself.
> 
> In my ideal world, Edward would have never left and he would have changed Bella because he wanted to, not because he was caught in a life or death scenario. In my ideal world, Edward and Bella wouldn't have become parents as soon as they got married and they would have had time to enjoy each other's company more. In my ideal world, the series wouldn't have had such a perfectly happy ending, in which most characters get to have their cake and eat it too.
> 
> My story is an alternate version of events post-"Twilight", told from Edward's perspective (because I love his broody-moody-emo view of the world).
> 
> So, as a disclaimer, I will note that:
> 
> \- The events in my story take place a little over a year after Twilight, after graduation;
> 
> \- Victoria has been dealt with before the events in the story take place, so she is no longer a threat;
> 
> \- Edward still struggled with wanting to leave Bella for her own safety's sake (as we learned from "Midnight Sun") throughout their first summer together, but he eventually opened up to her about this and, slowly, but surely, came to understand that a break-up would destroy Bella just as much as it would destroy him; the story of what exactly prompted Edward to stay with Bella will come as the events of "After Nightfall" will progress;
> 
> \- Because Edward never left, Jacob and Bella never got the chance to become such close friends;
> 
> \- Eventually, Edward and Bella got married after the ending of senior year's first semester - and yes, they had a big grand wedding, courtesy of Alice;
> 
> \- They had an awesome and well-deserved honeymoon on Isle Esme during winter break;
> 
> \- The Volturi are not yet aware of Bella's existence;
> 
> \- In this alternate universe, vampires cannot impregnate humans, because their sperm-cells are dead. So no surprise-babies in this story;
> 
> \- The treaty between the Cullens and the Quileute tribe has a loop-hole, which provides that the Cullens can turn a human being into a vampire, as long as the human consents to this and the transformation happens far enough away (hence Edward's and Bella's trip to Alaska);
> 
> \- Since Edward is a mind-reader, I will use this format for writing down the thoughts he keeps on hearing: "Insert thought here" (kind of like Stephenie did in "Midnight Sun", but I added the quotation marks because I felt it made things clearer, for some reason);
> 
> \- This story has plenty of lemons scattered throughout almost every chapter, because Stephenie, as amazing as she is, robbed us of that - just a warning, in case this might not be your thing.
> 
> This should be it, but I might update this list as I go along.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I love writing it! All feedback is welcome, be it positive or negative!
> 
> If you want to get sneak peeks of future chapters, early heads-ups regarding updates and more fun stuff, you are more than welcome to join the Facebook Group „After Nightfall: Updates, sneak peeks, music and discussions", a group that I created after one lovely reader and reviewer asked me about it.

_"I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet_

_When far away an interrupted cry_

_Came over houses from another street,_

_But not to call me back or say good-bye;_

_And further still at an unearthly height,_

_One luminary clock against the sky_

_Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right._

_I have been one acquainted with the night."_

_**Robert Frost** _

* * *

Everything was ready. We were packed and ready to go. I had packed a change of sheets, clothes and as much morphine as Carlisle had managed to get me, knowing that we will need way more than that anyway. Bella was still upstairs, fumbling through her belongings. I could sense her excitement from where I was sitting, filling up the air.

She barely slept last night, and she had been more talkative than usual. She told me stories of her home in Arizona, of her childhood, of her mother, and as she was telling me all these, I could not help but wonder if, despite all her reassurances, she might have still needed a bit more time before the change. I knew that asking her this was futile. She finally fell asleep after we had made love.

This part was getting both easier and more intense each time and a part of me wondered what it was going to be like when I would no longer have to worry about gripping her too hastily, kissing her too roughly, pushing myself too deep inside of her. I felt a familiar ache in my groin, so I forced myself to stop thinking about this. Luckily, Alice entered the room and her hurricane of thoughts successfully replaced mine.

" _Jasper said you have been a big ball of stress for the past couple of days, so here I am!"_

"Thanks, Alice, but there isn't much you can do right now."

"Edward, you've seen me _see it_ several times," she said. "You know how this will end."

"Doesn't offer me much relief, to be honest. We both know how your visions work."

" _You will be able to stop, I know you. You've done it before."_

And she was right: I did stop before. But having to drink Bella's blood as she was wounded and bit by the monster that James was was quite a different scenario from what Bella and I had planned - or rather, what she had planned and I obliged, because she had already made enough compromises for me. She wanted me to change her, but she wanted me to do it on her terms. And those terms were really plain and simple: I had to change her while we were making love. She was convinced that this would distract her from the pain, but she had no idea how bad it could get.

As for me, I was up for a double challenge of restraining myself and I had no clue if I was capable of doing it.

Besides me and Bella, Alice was the only one who knew about our little agreement. But there was something else as well, that only Alice and I knew: the fact that I wanted to indulge myself and drink a fair amount of Bella's blood before changing her. It would have been damn near impossible for her not to know, considering her gift. She had been furious at first, as anyone would be. She called me a 'lunatic' and I realized I could not contradict her, because she was, in fact, right: I _was_ a lunatic to think that this could work. In the end, her visions convinced her otherwise - but while she had managed to calm down after having said visions, I didn't.

"I know your worries, Edward," she said. "But you love her."

"I do, more than anything."

" _This will be enough, trust me."_

I half-smiled, hoping she was right. My attention was immediately caught by Bella, as she was coming downstairs with her bag on her shoulder. She was glowing, her cheeks tinted by the most delicious pink hue.

"Ready for our roadtrip, love?" I asked her.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said.

"Bella, I know it will only be a few days, but I will miss you," Alice said, as she walked up to her to envelop her in a tight embrace.

What Alice wasn't telling Bella was that she was going to also miss her humanness. However, she was definitely not going to miss her scent. The blood of my love seemed to be a guilty delight not only for me and I tried to suppress the proprietary growl that was growing inside my chest.

"I'll miss you too, Alice," Bella sighed. "It will only be a couple of days."

"Take care, you two," she said joyfully, but I could sense her subtle warning hidden in her jingling voice. "And come back safe."

Alice watched us as we walked out the door and as we got in the car. For a minute I was relieved that the others had decided to go hunting that morning. The pressure would have been way too much to handle and I was already on pins and needles. Just the thought of looking my father in the eye and hiding the dangerous truth from him was enough to drive me into panic mode. Bella, on the other hand, seemed all right - more than all right, actually, excited. The pink hue was still there, on her cheeks, and I could sense the hypnotic scent of her arousal as we got in the car and hit the road. I tried to focus on that and less on her pulsing blood. _We would get to that later_.

I shuddered at my last thought, feeling as if it didn't belong to me. I knew full well what lied ahead of us. But the conniving monster inside, the one I had gracefully managed to bury, reared his head, ready to enjoy every bit of this. And I could not escape the compulsive thought that the monster had planted in my head: that maybe, just maybe, I could drink enough of her blood before turning her into a vampire. In theory, I should have simply bit her dainty neck and be done with it. But would I be able to stop, once I get a taste? A taste of the sweetest potion on this planet, the blood of my beloved?

"You're awfully quiet," Bella said, interrupting the trainwreck that was going on in my head.

"Just focusing on the road," I managed, but my voice sounded ice cold.

"Sure you're not nervous?" she inquired.

I pulled myself together, pushing away the fantasies that were still rumbling through my brain and swallowing the venom that was flooding my mouth. I placed my hand on her knee, squeezing it gently.

"Not more than you should be, love," I said calmly. "You know, it's not too late for you to change your mind."

"Not gonna happen, Edward."

I sighed, not even surprised by her answer. The road ahead of us was long, so that was a bonus: by the time we got to our cottage, I would be so intoxicated by her scent that I would be almost impervious to it. _Yeah, you wish_.

As we left Forks, Bella began to drift off. With my hands gripping the steering wheel, I tried to push back my thirst and cage the animal within. He opposed it, but I ignored him. I wasn't going to let him win, not by a long shot. I focused all of my attention on Bella's rhythmic heartbeat and for a while, it seemed like everything was going to be all right.

It took us almost two days to reach our destination. Flying there would have been way more easy, but then we would have no car to get back to Forks. And having a newborn vampire trapped inside a plane full of people, thousands of miles above the ground, was too big of a risk to take.

I made several stops along the road. We went to two restaurants, although Bella insisted she would rather eat gas station sandwiches. But her last human meals had to be memorable, so I convinced her to let me spoil her. I stopped the car once more when Bella got a little too excited by my hand tracing small patterns on the inside of her thigh. She told me she couldn't wait until we arrived and that she needed me right then. So naturally, I found an empty parking lot and indulged her wish for the next couple of hours, realizing that I needed the release just as much as she did.

She slept more than I had expected, even during the day, and I made sure to adjust her seat so that she could be in a semi-horizontal position when she did that. When we arrived, it was morning. She had been sleeping for seven hours or so.

"Wake up, beautiful," I murmured into Bella's ear.

Bella's eyes opened and her eyelids fluttered, as she took in her surroundings. The Alaskan forest was green and pristine this time of the year. The sun rays filtered through the leaves above us in a cold light. There were still a few patches of snow on the ground, but they were slowly giving in to the sun. The air was permeated with the lingering smell of pine trees.

"Hmmm, have I died and gone to Heaven?" she asked, letting out a lazy yawn.

"Not quite, but we arrived at our destination at last."

We were at the base of Mount Foraker, miles away from civilization. Alice was almost certain that no nomads would be passing through for at least two weeks. As for humans - the hiking trails were at least a hundred miles away from us, so Bella could not possibly get distracted by their scent when she was going to be like me.

The cottage in front of us belonged to Alice and Jasper. This was their go-to place for their annual reindeer-hunting trip to Alaska. Alice was a big fan of those, and they were nowhere to be found in the Olympic mountains. She had been more than willing to let us stay here and she had managed to prepare the house in advance, with the help of two of the Denali sisters, Kate and Carmen.

Bella was in my arms, still waking up from her deep sleep, so I walked towards the little stone cottage in front of us, carefully hidden beneath ivy vines. I took the key out of my back pocket and opened the door.

"You know, this house gives me Snow White vibes," Bella noticed with a smile, as I walked inside. "Not exactly the setting one would expect when thinking of a wild sex and blood party."

Her words awakened my senses and I felt the bulge in my pants growing. I wanted her. If I could have it my way, I would have had her right there and then, on the wooden floor. I didn't care that we had had a long drive. I didn't care that we hadn't unpacked. All I cared now was the way her buttocks felt under my left palm, so warm and inviting, how her waist felt so small and frail as I grazed it with my fingers. I composed myself enough to speak:

"Don't think they make settings especially for that, Bella. But tell me now, are you hungry?"

She shook her head.

"Not even a little?"

She was even more convinced now, as she pushed herself gently away from my arms and slid off to the floor.

"Your last human meal," I reminded her.

"I had it already. Besides, hunger is the least of my worries now."

I pulled her towards me, tilting my head until my forehead met hers.

"Then what worries you, love?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but she seemed to change her mind at the last moment, murmuring an unconvincing 'nevermind'.

"Bella," I said gently, lifting her chin up, so that our eyes could lock. "I know you think that I will change my mind if you'll tell me you're afraid, but I promise you I won't, as long as you don't want me to."

She was still hesitant, but her chocolate eyes warmed up and she said:

"I am not really afraid of the pain."

"You should be, but we've had that discussion before."

"Come on, Edward, you've brought enough morphine to put down a cow."

Oh, how naive she was! No amount of morphine was going to be enough to ease the burning fire that would pulse through her beautiful body once my venom entered her bloodstream. No pain in this world could measure up to what she was going to experience, even with all the morphine in the world.

"I am afraid I won't remember… it," she finally whispered.

"Could you be more precise?"

"You know… You said that the memories tend to fade once a human is transformed, but I really, _really_ want to remember this particular one, because it will be my last."

"I can't guarantee you that you will remember any of what is going to happen, Bella. But I will try to make it as pleasurable as possible, given the circumstances."

She blushed a delightful red and I felt that I could no longer abstain myself, seeing her standing in front of me, her jeans wrapping every perfect curve of her body. I pressed my body onto hers, letting her feel my erection on her belly. A slight moan escaped her lips and I rushed in to catch it with a kiss. She was warm as ever, and the way her body reacted to mine left me wanting more. Before I could take her back in my arms and take her to the bedroom, she whispered my name, so I stopped.

"I might need to take a shower first," she admitted, her breath out of control from our kiss.

She smelled amazing to me, but that didn't matter. I was already accustomed to her human habits.

"Of course," I smiled and kissed her forehead. "But you might want to rush, my love, I am growing impatient."

I pressed my hips against her once more, as proof of my desire for her.

"Oh, you are growing all right," she murmured, grazing her hand on my bulge.

I took her hand into mine and guided her to the bathroom.

"You've got towels, soap, shampoo, everything," I informed her. "I will be waiting for you in the bedroom, over there."

I kissed her once again before leaving her to her intimacy. I went to the car to bring the bags from the trunk and started to unpack once I got into the bedroom. I felt a shiver down my spine when I took out the change of sheets, knowing full well their utility.

The simple truth was that what was about to go down was going to be very, very messy. Once I would sink my teeth into that alluring vein on Bella's neck, blood would get everywhere - in her hair, on her skin, on her breasts, on my face, on the sheets, and quite possibly on the floor. _It will resemble the scene of a crime._ The monster's thoughts chanted inside my head. No, nobody was going to die here today. Not my Bella.

I put the sheets in the drawer, along with the rest of our clothes. I then placed the morphine injections under the bed, where Bella could not see them. I changed my clothes, deciding that my dark blue jeans and black shirt might be too ominous. I decided to put on my khaki pants - the ones that, for whatever reason, Bella loved so much on me - and a simple white T-shirt. After I finished, I cuddled up on the bed and waited. The water of the shower was still running, and I could hear Bella's pulse fasten. What was she thinking right now? Was she nervous? I desperately wanted to barge in and satisfy my curiosity, but I decided to let her have these last human moments to herself, without me selfishly interrupting them.

When she got out, it didn't take her long to find me. She was wrapped in a towel, with her hair up in a bun. Small water droplets were still dripping down from the soft porcelain of her skin. All of a sudden, she seemed more vulnerable than usual. It was a curious sight: the prey coming willingly to the predator, ready to surrender. With the exception that she was not my prey and I was most certainly not going to make her that.

"Enjoyed your shower?" I offered.

"It was fine."

She approached me, kind of unsure of her movements. I stood up immediately, to take her in my arms, and returned to the bed with her on top of me, all in a quick movement that seemed to make her dizzy.

"I am going to miss this," I said, almost certain that she hadn't heard me.

"What exactly?" she questioned, to my surprise.

"Your confusion, whenever I move too fast for your eyes."

"Show off," Bella rolled her eyes. "Well, _that_ I am not going to miss."

"What will you miss, then?"

She took her time before deciding on an answer:

"This might sound shallow, but… _this_."

She moved on top of me, in the most seductive manner I had ever seen.

"This?" I encouraged her to continue.

"Sex, Edward. I don't know what it'll be like, but it cannot possibly get better than this."

I thought about that for a moment. Once her change would be complete, she was going to want blood - lots of it. I knew that, I had told her that. But I was ready to bet that once she would get used to her new lifestyle, sex was not only going to be different, but _better_. She would not be fragile anymore, her blood would no longer be there to tempt me and I could finally do to her all that I couldn't dare to do now, in her weak human state. I could be rough, pull her hair when she went down on me, bite her gorgeous neck, maybe even tie her up and have my way with her exquisite body.

"I wouldn't worry about that, love," I finally said. "You will find soon enough that it won't be the case."

I was suddenly aware, as she was standing on top of me, that she was still wrapped in her towel. So naturally, I had to fix that. I reached out and took it off with a swift move, throwing it away on the floor. Her eyes sparkled with surprise and delight and I took my time admiring her beauty. Although I had seen her naked countless times since our honeymoon, I could never get enough of this sight. Her breasts, perfectly round and small, demanded my attention, so I began tracing circles on her nipples with my fingers, as I studied the rest of her body. Her small waist was moving fast from her shallow breaths, syncing up with the way she was rocking her hips back and forth in an instinctive manner, rubbing her hot center on my covered erection and driving me completely crazy.

"How can you be so sure?" she panted, as her fingers interlocked in my hair.

I didn't bother to respond. I undid her loose bun and her hair fell in a wet cascade of curls over her shoulders. Her complete nakedness contrasted with my clothed body: it was almost unfair to her, but I enjoyed it. As I had learned in the past months, feeling dominant over her aroused me even more. I grabbed her by her hips and I moved her, so that now she was standing a few inches away from my face. I could perfectly see her now. She was unbelievably wet, and I hadn't even touched her. I inhaled, allowing my senses to be overwhelmed by her delicious scent. This was a different kind of drug, as opposed to her blood. I had to have a taste - and she needed me to, judging by her soft sounds of desperation.

Carefully, I let my tongue trace a line from her small folds to her clitoris. Bella moaned and pushed herself against my face. I repeated that motion a few times, savouring her wet excitement. I let my hands rest on her buttocks and squeezed them, getting lost in the softness of her flesh. My lips joined my tongue as I was caressing her most sensitive spot. Her hands were pulling my hair now, as she was losing herself in the pleasure.

While I was enjoying myself beyond belief, a small part of me was yearning for something else. Something _more_. We had done this so many times in the past couple of months, but there had been no endgame, beyond her countless orgasms. Right now, however, there was: changing her. And that small part of me couldn't help but focus on the sound of her blood dancing in her veins, on that scent of supreme lust. I so wanted to bite her beautiful thighs, and drink from her like an alcoholic savouring an old wine. _Not now, there is plenty of time for that_. The monster cheered and I growled.

I focused on the only thing that mattered and started licking her clitoris with soft rapid movements, the ones that drove her over the edge each time. She let out a broken cry, as she fell into an intense orgasm, that made her even wetter than she already was. I continued, encouraging her silently to let go a second time. And she did, spilling her delicious excitement all over my lips and moaning my name. And, after a few seconds, a third time. When she was finished, her eyes were closed and her mouth open, gasping for air.

"This… was..." her words were mellow, barely audible for a human ear.

"I haven't even started, my love," I told her.

With careful movements this time, in order to avoid her getting dizzy again, I placed her on her back and rolled on top of her. Her orgasms had left her skin flushed and plump. She looked way too appetizing for her own good. Her hands were trying to take my shirt off, so I decided to help and threw it on the floor myself, somewhere near her towel. She was touching me everywhere, her fingers so warm on my ice cold muscles, and I could not take this any longer. I had to have her, all of her.

I grabbed her wrists and pinned them on the mattress, on each side of her head, and l leaned down to press my lips against hers. My mouth was hungry and I quickly found her tongue. Everything about Bella was fire: pure, unadulterated fire, and I was an arsonist. I was in a haze when I felt her squirming underneath me, trying to set her hands free. I stopped immediately and looked at her, searching for clues that I might have done something wrong, but she was smiling.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just… I really want to have a taste of you as well."

She bit her lips, awaiting for my response, and I stared at them, hypnotized. I left my index finger trace the contour of her mouth and she began sucking gently on its tip.

"How could I resist your wish, Bella?"

She smiled as I was adjusting my position; my erection was now inches away from her face. She lifted herself up and pulled down my trousers, revealing my rock-hard member. Her eyes fired up with the same phascination she had always had when she saw me erect. It reminded me of our very first night together, when she murmured innocently, with both delight and virginal fear: 'I think you might be too big'. I might have been a vampire, but I was still a man at my core, so my ego cherished those words.

I ran my fingers through her hair, watching as she was caressing me with her hands. Her face came closer, this time pressing her lips at the base of my shaft, and I let out a sigh. Her mouth rose up, moving slowly on my penis, until it reached the tip. Once there, she looked up at me for the shortest second before taking me in her mouth. I allowed a fierce groan to escape my lips - a groan that would have scared her had she not heard it so many times before.

The feeling of her mouth surrounding my member was heaven. Hidden beneath her rosy lips, I felt warm and wet and safe and home. I pushed myself in her mouth, careful not to reach too deep and choke her. I had done that before by accident and, while she had insisted she loved it, I didn't want to risk hurting her in any way while she was still my fragile little human.

She began sucking, taking breaks from time to time to trace the contour of my tip with her tongue. I wanted her to take me all the way in that beautiful mouth of hers, but it was not possible. Not now. I kept looking down at her, feeling close to my supreme bliss. But I did not want that yet. As much as I wanted to fill up her mouth with my venom and watch her swallow every last drop, I knew that such a thing was too risky while she was still human. Besides, I wanted to come inside her, to fill her warm body up once again before I changed her forever.

"Bella… love… stop," I managed to blurt out, as she was still sucking me.

Seeing that she would not stop, I carefully took her head in my hands and changed my position again, coming back on top of her, so that our hips were aligned. Her face was full of surprise.

"Did I do something wrong?" she whispered.

"No, you never do. In fact, it was too good."

Her scent was more powerful now and it filled me up with its sweetness: sex and sweat and blood. Her level of arousal was making her heart pump like crazy, and her blood was more fragrant now than ever. _God, how I wanted that bloodI_! I could see the delicate network of veins on her neck and I was walking on a fragile line, trying not to rip through them and relish on their content right there and then. My mouth was full of venom once again and I didn't move, knowing that one wrong movement on my part could cost Bella her life.

"Edward, your eyes..."

They were darker now, I knew that. She knew what it meant, but there was no trace of fear in her voice. I stood still above her, not moving an inch. My throat was on fire and only one thing could quench my burning thirst. I kept looking at those veins, those all-too-tempting veins that were pulsing shamelessly under the ivory of her skin, full of the blood that I wanted to drink from the first time I had laid my eyes on her.

I could not let my control crumble, not when we were so close to our forever. All I had to do was make love to her and bite her neck _once_ , give her the morphine and be done with it. But my mind was filling up once again with fantasies of me drinking as much of her blood as possible without killing her, and only then changing her. I wouldn't have to tell Bella all that - in the throes of pain ignited by my bite, it wouldn't make a difference to her. I could have my way with or without telling her.

 _No_.

I could never hide that from her. She was too pure to deserve such a shameful trick.

I had not realized my hand was pushing down on her neck until she said:

"I kind of can't breathe..."

I removed my hand immediately and I tried to regain my composure, swallowing that damned venom.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," I grumbled.

"That wasn't nothing, Edward."

Damn right it wasn't. I wasn't necessarily trying to fool her, but I couldn't see how scaring her off was a better option.

"You're thirsty," she purred.

There was no point in ignoring the obvious.

"Yes," I said.

She grazed my cheek with her small hand, but it didn't exactly help. I was still burning.

"How can I make it better, Edward?"

I couldn't tell her, but it wouldn't have been fair not to. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too, just like a stubborn child.

"Bella, I can't… simply change you."

She frowned and began to protest, just like I knew she would, but I stopped her with the truth:

"It is not that. It's just that… I want your blood first."

Bella didn't say a word, so I continued, letting the monster do the talking for me:

"I won't take much, if you will let me."

She looked at me with raised eyebrows, so I went on:

"It won't hurt more or less than it would've normally hurt, but this has been on my mind for the past couple of days… or weeks."

"Okay, so you… want to drink my blood first?" she managed to say.

"I would very much want that, my love," I admitted.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, and those few seconds passed like years. She was reconsidering everything. She did not sign up to be my food that day, yet there we were, negotiating exactly that. I hated myself for this. And I loved myself for this. And I hated myself for this, but it was my last chance to taste the forbidden fruit. I wanted to make her mine in every possible way.

But it was her choice. Always her choice.

"Why didn't you just do it?" Bella said, when she finally opened her eyes.

I was puzzled.

"It wouldn't be fair to you," was my response.

"It wouldn't have bothered me and you know that."

Did I know that? This wasn't the reaction I expected from my wife.

"Edward, I'm not an idiot, I know your needs. And I didn't expect you would be _that_ strong when it came to changing me."

I breathed in, savouring the Bella-filled scent of the air. All of a sudden, I was aware that my member was resting on her belly, still erect. I needed to be inside of her, in her warm, inviting wetness. I needed to drink her blood more than ever. And I could have both.

"I will make you mine, Bella," I said, my voice low and husky.

 _And if that means feasting on your blood before I turn you, then so be it_.

* * *

**If you enjoyed reading this chapter (or not), I would be so grateful if you could let me know in the review section :). I will make sure to respond to each and every review.**

**In the meantime, stay safe and stay happy!**


	2. Capitulating

I could not believe my ears when Bella responded with a soft 'That's what I want'. Yet I could, because I had imagined her offering me permission so many times, that it almost felt normal to finally hear her say it out loud.

I leaned down to offer her a deep, long kiss. My hands soon started to touch her everywhere and she was squirming with desire underneath me. She grabbed my penis and began stroking it with precise motions and I let out a moan of relief. I soon found my hand between her legs, in the small ocean created by her desire, rubbing circles on her clitoris and trying very hard to channel my thirst.

"I need you," I groaned in desperation. "Let me have you, love."

She could no longer breathe normally as she impatiently guided me to her entrance. I slid inside her body effortlessly, her hot internal walls welcoming me with a delicious squeeze. I pushed as deep as I could, until my tip touched her cervix. Bella let out an ecstatic cry and her legs trembled. I felt her fingers in my hair, tugging and pulling. I began to move back and forth, savouring each push and each moan of hers.

I could never get enough of this. Even in her human form, I couldn't bring myself to not make love to her again and again and again, whenever we had some alone time. Our bodies were two pieces of the same puzzle, made specifically to fit together. But alas, she was human, so that meant she couldn't stay up all night to do this, no matter how much I wanted her. Most of the time, she would fall asleep after a few hours of having sex on and off. But once she was changed, there would be no need for sleep on her part. And no need for restraining of impulses on mine.

I felt Bella's walls contract around me and I knew she was close. I took her wrists in my hands, making her my prisoner, and began moving with more resolve.

"Come, my love," I pleaded.

She groaned with pleasure, as I hit her most sensitive spot inside. I watched her face as she lost sight of everything surrounding her and fell prey to an intense orgasm, wetting the sheets underneath us with her liquids.

"That's right," I encouraged her. "Again."

Bella's body responded like I knew it would, succumbing to another orgasm, leaving her moaning my name and shaking profusely. I began to leave a trail of kisses, from her ear to her lips, mesmerized by the intensity of her climax. But we weren't done yet. I grazed her cheek gently with my hand.

"Are you up for more?" I asked her, my voice hoarse from desire.

"Yes, yes, please!"

Her response was full of thirst and it made my erection tense up inside of her. Her muscles were swollen now and even more sensitive and she was so tight that I could have orgasmed just from being inside of her. But I needed to move, to feel every inch of her, to listen to the sounds our bodies made with each new thrust.

Bella gasped for air when she felt me move again, and this time her hands found their way to my back, digging her nails in there - to me, it felt like she was touching me with a feather. I grabbed her breasts as I moved, mesmerized by their softness as always. Her nipples were two small pebbles now, engorged from her arousal. I leaned down and began to suck on her right nipple. It felt so small and fragile in my mouth, like the pit of a cherry, and it drove me wild. I picked up my pace, fully aware that I was moments away from my own release.

As I was sucking on her nipple, I realized how close I was to her heart, the ultimate source of her delicious blood. It was pumping like crazy now, singing a dangerous melody. I knew that I shouldn't, but I raised my eyes to gaze at her neck. It was exposed and ready for me, vibrating.

Bella squeaked, making me aware that I was hurting her. I immediately let go of her nipple. It had a gorgeous crimson hue, but I couldn't focus on that for long. Her scent surrounded me like a cloud and I felt completely intoxicated. I _needed_ to taste her, as much as I needed to come. Without much thought, I leaned down to kiss her neck. I let my tongue wander on the paths created by her veins, feeling so close to Heaven and Hell at the same time, and she welcomed my decision with an ecstatic sound. This was unreal, this was too much.

"Yes, Edward…" she whispered.

I almost lost it. How could I resist, when she was encouraging me to let go? I pressed my lips on her neck, savouring the bittersweet torture. I was moving now faster than ever, and without warning, I exploded. My venom spilled in her hot interior and we moaned in unison. I was no longer in control and I knew we had hit a point of no return. She smelled luscious and I already wanted another orgasm and the monster was hungry.

"You are mine," I growled, pushing myself deep inside of her, feeling the venom spill out on my testicles and on to the waistband of my pants. "You understand? All mine."

"Yours," she breathed.

I inhaled deeply, my nose still buried in her neck.

"God, Bella, you'll be the death of me."

 _How ironic_. I couldn't take this any longer. It was what I had been waiting for from day one. I was going to do this right.

"Close your eyes, love," I warned her and I could only hope she obliged, because she didn't have to see what was coming with her own eyes.

My thrusts were making her moan with pleasure and I foolishly hoped that this would be enough to distract her, even if only for a split second. I licked the delicate veins on the side of her neck once again. They were throbbing on my tongue, begging me to devour what was inside. This was it. The finest wine. The sweetest fruit. The ambrosia of the gods. The best drug on this planet. Heaven. Hell. I bit.

Bella's scream was like nothing I had ever heard before. It pierced through me, powerful and strong. It went beyond the stone walls of the house, deep into the woods surrounding us. She started to squirm like crazy under me, and she grabbed my hair, pulling forcefully on it, in an instinctive gesture of stopping me.

As I was processing everything, I felt her soft skin ripping under my lips, and my teeth found her carotid. _Oh, my God!_ The monster and I were one, savouring this moment as if it was the last. This was not the venom-tainted blood I had to suck out of Bella when James bit her. No. This was the purest blood I had ever tasted in my entire existence, so decadent and rich, so exquisite and good, so hot and silky. The blood splashed on her hair and on the pillow, and I rushed to cover the wound completely with my mouth, so that I didn't lose one more drop. _It was all mine_.

Another scream ripped through the air, as Bella felt my teeth sinking deeper into her flesh. Fresh blood flooded my mouth and I swallowed it immediately. A man lost in the desert being offered a glass of water would not have felt the joy I felt in that moment. I grabbed her tightly, pushing myself deeper inside of her body and I drank. Her internal muscles were squeezing me like never before now, as her entire body was trying to fight me off.

She was a fountain of bliss and I could happily die right then and there. The burning in my throat was now a distant memory and I could only feel my ecstasy, pure and raw. I was feeding from her and I knew that this would be the first and last truly delicious meal in my entire existence. Nothing before Bella compared, nothing after her would come close to. She was the single most delicious being on this Earth and she was all mine to have, mine to savour, mine to drink from.

As more seconds passed by, her screams dissolved into moans, and she grew weaker in my arms. Her fingers were still in my hair, barely tugging this time. I took a deep breath, completely drunk on her scent, and I let another wave of blood wash over my tongue. It was liquid velvet, with its lush honeyed texture. It was better than any drug a man could create. This was the work of God - there was no other explanation for this sublime taste, no other excuse for this otherworldly experience. How could I ever get enough? How could I stop, when it was so good?

"Edward…" her voice was barely a whisper.

I didn't stop for one bit. Instead I dug deeper inside her carotid, in search for more. And by God, there was more, there was so much more! Her blood rolled down my throat and I swallowed it in an instant.

"Too… much..."

 _No, this is not too much, Bella, this is perfect_. I couldn't speak to her, I was completely spellbound. Her warm blood was all that mattered and I took great care to not let it drip away and go to waste. I could hear her heart, a faint rhythmic beating. It was pumping and fighting for her life. A small part of me began to understand that I didn't have much time left. The bigger part of me held onto her even tighter, refusing to let go.

Bella's body finally stopped protesting me, laying limp underneath mine. She was now breathing irregularly and groaning. Though my haze, I remembered I was still inside of her, so I gently got out. My movement disrupted my concentration, so that the seal made with my lips over her wound broke and blood spilled out, flowing freely on her neck, on the sheets and to the floor. Rage flew through me as I sealed it back in. I had to stop, until it was too late.

Her blood was still on my tongue, incredibly hot and inviting. It was so fine, so tempting. But her heartbeat grew weaker, each small beating serving as a plea for me to stop. I growled, not yet ready to let go.

"Edward..." she repeated, but she didn't manage to finish her thought.

I needed to stop, I felt that in every fibre of my body. She needed me to stop. I knew my pleasure would never be worth the price of her life, yet my next action still hurt me to the core. With a great deal of effort, I managed to retract my teeth from her neck, but my lips were still glued to her neck. It was absolute pain and I almost bit into another pulsing vein out of frustration. Then I did the impossible: I lifted my head from her neck, pushed my fingers on top of her wound to stop her bleeding and I looked at her.

My wife had her eyes closed, but she was still breathing. The pillow under her head was stained red. She never looked as pale as she did now, with her skin and lips stripped of the rosy undertones I adored so much, but she was beautiful nonetheless. And if I didn't hurry, she would remain like that forever. I quickly ripped a piece of fabric from the sheets underneath us and improvised a tourniquet for her neck, to prevent further blood loss. Then, without thinking twice, I leaned down to bite her once more, right under her left breast and above her heart, injecting my venom right where she needed it the most, so that her transformation could finally begin.

Seconds later, Bella's eyes flung open and she let out a screeching scream, a sign that the venom had started to spread. I didn't waste any time and I made a second tourniquet for her torso, then I grabbed the set of injections under the bed. I took the first one and, respecting the protocols, I injected it slowly in the most prominent vein on Bella's arm. I held her down as I did this, quenching her erratic movements. She let out another powerful scream, her pain not giving in to the first shot of morphine, just as I knew would happen. So I did a second shot, continuing to hold her down with my body so that no accidents could happen.

"It's all right, Bella," I murmured, praying to God that she could hear me beyond the torture inflicted by my venom. "I am here, you're all right."

She kept on screaming and I kept on injecting morphine into her body, barely processing what was happening. By the time the last shot was shot, she didn't show any signs that she might be better. The morphine was only a thin veil against the pain - it was as if a single cattail could survive a tsunami unbent. She was hurting beyond belief and seeing her like this, not being able to help, made me feel as if someone was drilling a hole in my chest. I took her face in my hands and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Bella, I love you," I whispered.

Her only response was an agonizing cry, as her eyes were staring right through the ceiling and away from me. She kept on fumbling around, so I had to pin her down. Watching her succumb to the darkest agony she had ever known tore me apart. I would have given anything to make it stop, but that would've meant to kiss away our forever - and that was a price I was not willing to pay.

I looked around, not once letting go of her. There was blood all around us, a silent testament that the monster managed to get his way - at least partially. There was blood on the sheets, on the floor, on my torso and, of course, all over Bella. Her neck and breasts were splattered with it, and there was a concerning amount of it in her hair. The sheets were still wet from her orgasms and I knew I had to wash her and put on some clean clothes on her, but now it was not the time. She was panting and throbbing and groaning from the pain.

I continued to hold her and caress her every now and then for hours. I couldn't let go of her - I had promised her that I will stay by her side throughout her transformation, and I wasn't going to let her down. Her screams grew rarer, but that didn't soothe my anxiety. She was still hurting and I could hear the rustling sound of my venom inside of her veins, fighting over dominance with her blood and winning. Her scent was changing now, yet I loved it nonetheless. There was a new sweetness to it, that didn't come from her blood. However, she was still as pale as a ghost, which meant we still had a long way to go.

As the night crept in, I had to get up to turn on the light - not for me, but I could imagine that the darkness in the room might have caused my wife avoidable stress and confusion in the state that she was in. But as soon as I left the bed, she started to wriggle and twist and turn like a woman possessed and in her despair she called out my name. I was back to her in a second, pulling her in my arms and holding her close to my chest.

"I'm here with you, my love," I promised her, with my mouth buried in her tangled bloody hair. "I won't leave, stay with me."

My voice was shaking and I held her even closer. I knew her pain all too well, even though over 90 years had passed since my transformation: the feeling of being burned alive for hours, with nothing to ease the pain, was one that never quite left my memory. Bella managed to calm down a bit, but she was still trembling in my arms.

The wounds on her neck and breast were starting to heal, and she no longer needed the tourniquets, as her bleeding had stopped. I took them off gently, careful not to bother her with my movements. She flinched just a bit and I leaned down instinctively to plant a kiss on her forehead. Her neck still looked as if an animal had ripped through it, but the tissues were closing back, a change so subtle that a human eye couldn't have noticed it. Meanwhile, the wound under her breast was in a much better shape. The contour left by my teeth had a silver hue now, that was visible underneath the dry patches of blood.

The night passed slowly, each new hour offering a new improvement: her lips got rosier, her skin got plumpier, her scent got less eatable and more lustful. The screams had stopped completely, but she was still moaning from time to time. By the time the first rays of sun entered the room, Bella's convulsions were so rare that I knew I could take her to the bathroom to clean her up. Her eyes were open, but she didn't seem to be fully aware of her surroundings, so I made sure to talk to her through the process.

"We'll go to the bathroom to get you cleaned up, Bella," I said, as I got up with her in my arms and went to the bathroom. "We'll get you into the tub to have a nice warm bath, just as you like it."

We entered and I turned on the faucet and set the tub stopper in place. As I waited, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes were tinged with red now, a reminder that I had strayed from what was right. When the water level was high enough, I carefully submerged Bella's body inside the tub. The clean water started getting rusty in an instant from all the dried blood on her body and hair. The thirst that commanded me the previous day was long gone - it seemed to have disappeared as soon as I had to inject the first shot of morphine in Bella's arm.

"I am going to wash your hair now," I informed her, as I grabbed the bottle of shampoo on the side of the tub and I opened it. It smelled like strawberries - her favourite. I squeezed some shampoo in my palm and I massaged it on to her wet roots. Her hair was a tangled mess. She flinched and a small growl left her lips when her shampooed strands touched her neck, right where I bit her. The wound was almost closed, but not completely, so I made a mental note to take extra-care of that region on her body.

This bath felt odd in many ways. It was the polar opposite of that time we took a bath together when our family went hunting. Back then, I took my time touching and caressing every inch of her body under the water. Now there was no time or desire for that, not when she was hurting and couldn't fully process what was going on.

I cleaned the foam out of her hair, detangling it with delicate movements, and I went on to wash the rest of her body. I kept informing her on my every move and intention, in order to avoid startling her, and she remained calm, fighting with the fire in her body with unimaginable grace. Her body didn't feel as fragile as it used to: her flash was still soft, but there was a new firmness to it, that wasn't there the previous day. I could see that her breasts were fuller as well, but I tried not to concentrate on that.

"All right, love, now I'll get you to stand up, because I need to wash the rest of you," I told her.

I didn't mention that the water was dark orange from the blood. I got her up gently and began washing her with the shower head. Bella let out a long moan when she first felt the water pressure on her skin, although it was on the lowest setting. I tried to hurry and, just before I finished, I leaned down above the tub to clean the blood from my torso as well. When I was done, I took Bella out of the tub, took out the tub stopper to let the water drain and started to dry her up with the fluffy towels I found in the bathroom.

"You'll soon be all right again, Bella," I promised her, as I carried her back to the bedroom. "You're already doing so good."

And that wasn't a lie: she did better than most did in her situation. She even did better than me. It was only the second day of her transformation, but she somehow managed to keep her screams under control. This was no easy feat.

Back into our bedroom, I dressed her up in black lingerie, a simple blouse and a pair of pants - she might have been a newborn, but she didn't have to step into her new life completely naked. After that, I laid her on the small armchair near the window, so that I could throw away the bloody sheets and change them with new ones. She didn't freak out this time, but started trembling a bit when she realized I was no longer near her. As soon as I finished my task, I put her back on the bed and I took her in my arms, where she seemed to feel most at ease, given the circumstances. I could hear her heart beating faster than before, in a tumultuous strain to fight for her life, and I decided to hum her favourite lullaby, in hopes that this might offer her the slightest hint of relief.

We were closer now to a new beginning, one that seemed all too eerie to be real. I could not bring myself to believe that soon enough, my Bella will no longer be the fragile clumsy human that she was. That her eyes would be scarlett and her skin the colour of freshly fallen snow. That she will be fast and strong - maybe stronger than me, at least for a while - and won't shy away from reminding me that. That the thirst will set her throat on fire and we will have to go hunting. That at some point in the near future she will see _me_ hunt, for the first time ever. I shivered at that thought. Although she had seen my animalistic side before, back when I fought with James and Victoria, I knew this would be different, because hurting an innocent animal was a completely different thing than hurting a vicious vampire.

Bella's hands gripping the sheets disrupted my train of thought.

"What is it?"

What a stupid question of me to ask, but I couldn't help it.

"Burns… bad," she managed, her voice weakened from the screams of yesterday, but somehow oddly melodic.

"I know, I know," I said, amazed that she could express herself beyond moans and growls. "I'm so sorry… But it won't take much longer, love. And I am here with you, I always will be."

I kissed her beautiful face, wanting so badly to make her pain go away. I could hear her heartbeat getting slower, a sign that she was at least halfway past her transformation.

"How long?" Bella asked, suppressing a groan.

Her eyes were searching. She couldn't see everything, just shapes, faint traces and mumbled colours. This was an annoying inevitability of the changing process and I could understand her frustration. But she could hear me, so I told her:

"At this rate, less than a day."

I noticed then that as much as her body had changed, she still felt so small in my arms. How could that be?

"Talk to me," she pleaded.

I looked at her, slightly bemused by her request, but I entertained her wish. If stories were what it took to keep her distracted during the last throes of torment, then so be it. So I told her about our meadow, about how incredibly happy and scared I felt when I brought her there for the first time, how I almost broke my own rules there right before marrying her, how the flowers must have blossomed since our last trip there. I told her about Isle Esme, our midnight swims in the ocean, our mornings on the beach, our first time... Bella never responded, but she kept nodding her head, encouraging me to go on.

As I was telling her all these stories, I could feel her temperature going down. It was truly strange to feel her going from her usual hot to mild warm. As unusual as it was, it felt more natural. From that point on, she would no longer perceive me as ice-cold, I would no longer be like an ice block next to the scorching satin of her skin. We will be the same. Equal. _Finally_.

When the night came, she was no longer scared when I left the bed to turn up the light. Her eyes - now the colour of blood and chocolate combined - were still searching mindlessly around the room and I could hear her clenching her jaw when another wave of fire washed through her insides. I returned to the bed and I smiled when I realized that the bite mark on her neck was now completely healed and silver in colour.

"You are doing so very good, Bella," I reminded her.

From the looks of it, she would be done by morning. Sometime in the middle of the night, she called out my name and asked me again, with minimal words, when will the pain go away.

"It's a matter of hours now," I said.

I kept telling her stories throughout the night, while holding her and playing with her soft hair. Her scent was so different, now that most of her blood was replaced by my venom. It was alluring in a completely different way and it aroused a hunger in me that had nothing to do with any of the remaining blood in her system. I knew that as soon as her transformation would be complete, I would want to have her all to myself for days, to make love to her without fear that I might hurt her. I would indulge in every pleasure possible with her, not once worrying that I might be too rough.

I felt myself getting hard as I thought of how her new body would react to my touches. She had always been incredibly sensitive, but with her senses being heightened, it will be even easier than before to bring her to orgasm time and time again. But I knew I would have to wait for all that, because as soon as she will wake up from her transformation, sex will not be a priority to her. Drinking blood, however, will be. And even if she was somehow able to feel desire, it would have been a painful effort on her part to channel her attention towards that and nothing else.

I had already planned a trip for us deep into the valleys of Mount Foraker, where mountain goats were plenty. Maybe after a few hunting sessions, she will be able to concentrate on something other than the burning newborn thirst and will be ready for me. Maybe. I wasn't going to take any chances until I knew she wanted me to.

The morning light found us still entangled in an embrace. The milky light reminded me of the forecast for that day: cloudy, with a chance of raining. Bella's heartbeats were so few and far between now, a sign that we were closer. There were no more moans, no more trembling, and she was barely breathing. Her eyes were now closed and she was unmoving. She seemed so calm, so peaceful, and there was barely any blood left in her system.

I was anxious. I wanted her to open her eyes, but I was also dreading that moment. What if she will get scared and will try to run away? Carlisle had prepared me for this possibility, telling me that it would not be uncommon, but I was not ready for it. Had she tried this, I would have to chase her and make sure she is okay. And then what? Pin her down, in order to prevent her from running away again? Not a chance in hell.

I tried to banish the intrusive thoughts and I listened closely, concentrating on the last of Bella's heartbeats. They were faint and small and the last remains of her fragility, the last proof that she was ever human. It felt almost bittersweet, but it also felt right. Because no matter how many arguments Bella and I have been through back when I was still trying to convince her to remain human, I had always known, deep-down, on the most basic level of my conscience, that she was right: she had to be like me, if we wanted to have a fair shot at real happiness, like any normal couple. In my stubbornness to keep her human, I had forgotten to keep her happy. From now on, that was going to change. She would be nothing but happy with me.

Bella's arm twitched for a second and I tensed up. The venom was no longer rustling, it was flowing freely inside her body. The fight for dominance with her blood had been fought and won. There was no more resisting, no more defending of territory. I watched her face carefully and I tried to listen to her heartbeat again, but I couldn't. Her heart had stopped completely. Only her breaths remained, calm and steady.

Minutes passed like hours. Bella looked as peaceful as Alice had predicted in her visions. I carefully took her hand in mine, waiting. Her skin was as soft as velvet in my hand and I felt her fingers flinch ever so gently. I stared in awe, unable to move.

Then, the unthinkable happened: she opened her eyes.

* * *

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**In the meantime, stay safe and stay happy!**


	3. Learning

In my century of existing on Earth, I had seen an uncountable number of women. Some of them, at one point or another, fell in lust with me. They were tall, short, slim, curvy, tan, pale, bubbly, sad, human, vampire - but their faces were foggy in my mind, as time and my own disinterest had erased most of their features from my memory. While I could recognize their beauty at the time, I never felt desire. Never felt the need to let my fingers trace the contour of their cheeks. Never wondered how their lips might have tasted. Never felt the unbearable ache to possess them.

Seeing Bella now was as if I had never seen a beautiful woman in my life. And in all honesty, I hadn't. Because no eyes had ever been as deep as the curious garnet eyes that locked their glance with mine, no lips as sin-inviting as hers. Her skin was endlessly perfect, the colour of the pearly sky at dawn, and it contrasted with the glorious auburn of her locks. I had never managed to get used to her beauty in human form, how could I ever get used to _this_? I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I heard Bella inhale. Her pupils dilated in a second, as she saw my red eyes and took in her overwhelming sense of smell.

I followed suit and I took a deep breath as well. Her scent filled up my lungs, and I could not control the lustful growl that escaped my lips. It was _delicious_. There was still the ever-present lavender note, but it was more potent and sugary. And there was something else, that I could not pinpoint - but something about it made my entire body aware of how close we were and how easily it would have been to rip off her clothes and sink inside her body. _No, I will wait for her, I will wait until her thirst will be under control_. I inhaled even deeper, letting her new scent wash over me. Pure joy powered through my body, as I realized that her smell will no longer control me - at least not in a way that meant I could be dangerous to her.

Bella remained unmoved, her gaze still glued to mine. I tried to find my words, but it was impossible. I was completely dazzled. If Carlisle's premonition that she might have tried to run away after waking up would have been true, I would've been lost.

"Hello," Bella's voice was a soft jingle, clear and melodic as the song of a hummingbird.

The sound was so new, yet so familiar, that it caught me off-guard. It rolled out of her luscious lips in a single breath and all of a sudden I could not concentrate on anything else _but_ those lips. I wanted to feel if they were as plump as they looked and it seemed that my body was making decisions before my brain, because before I knew it, my palms were already on her face and I was leaning down.

I was so used to being gentle that I was surprised when my lips yielded to hers, and hers to mine. Velvet giving in to velvet. This was _so_ new, but so right. I knew then that my control was no longer needed for what we were doing and for the first time in my existence, I let go.

This might as well have been our very first kiss. There was no fear between us as our mouths opened and started dancing a frenzied dance. There was nothing at stake as I sucked on the tip of her tongue. There was no restraining when I bit her lower lip, nor when she did the same with me. It was all very natural to kiss her like this and I couldn't help but savour the fact that I no longer felt the usual thirst for her blood. I was, however, prisoner to a different kind of thirst. One that was a million times more powerful in that moment, but that presented no threat to her.

I felt her hands exploring my bare chest and it took me a great amount of willpower to not let my hands explore her body as well. I knew that if I did, there was no going back, considering that I was already as hard as a rock underneath my pants. I had to use physical force to separate myself from her. Her red eyes were burning and I could see in their reflection that mine did too.

"Hello," I said to her, smiling.

She smiled in return and I was once again mesmerized. There had never been and never will be a woman on this Earth more beautiful than my Bella. Men would fall to their knees to simply catch a glimpse of her, but she was _all mine_. And I was hers just the same.

"Welcome back, my love," I told her.

Before I realized what was happening, she was standing up in front of me. It was a surprise to see Bella move at my pace - and something I had to get accustomed to. I stood up as well, taking her hand in mine.

"How do you feel?"

It took her half a second to respond:

"Perfect."

Another surprise. I expected her to at least acknowledge the burning sensation in her throat, but she didn't. I had to ask:

"Thirsty?"

A small frown darkened her face, as she took a deep breath in. I knew how powerful the thirst could be for a newborn.

"I suppose I am," she murmured.

I wanted more than ever to hear what she was thinking. There was still radio silence on her part - so this feature of her remained unchanged. She bit her lip and I wanted to do the same, so I took her face in my hands and kissed her once again, unable to keep away. She responded with enthusiasm, pressing her whole body against mine.

Every curve of her was so defined and perfectly sculpted, that I could easily make out what was hidden underneath her clothes. Her breasts were incredibly tender as they squashed against my chest, and I could not help but wonder how her buttocks felt. My hands roamed her body, finding delight in tracing the fine wave of her waist, until they found what they were looking for. Her buttocks felt perfectly buxom and rotund in my hands, and I squeezed them hard.

Her response took us both by surprise. She moaned - a sound so full and so filled with desire - and in an instant I was on the ground, with Bella sitting on top of me, straddling my hips with her thighs.

"Careful, my love," I laughed. "You are way more powerful than you remember now."

My hands were still cupping her butt and I thought of a hundred ways in which I could kiss and caress that area of her body. Bella, on the other hand, was not as lost in thoughts as I was. She was already grinding herself against my erection, which made it incredibly difficult for me to concentrate enough to say:

"We should probably go hunting first."

She looked at me, her face vexed and full of questions. Before she could say anything, I continued:

"Believe me, I want you. You have no idea how much, actually."

It was such a travesty to turn her down, but I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible - and her thirst provided anything but comfort. I grabbed a fistful of her hair - a gesture that reminded me too much of all the times she went down on me - and I lowered her head, so that her face was inches away from mine.

"It's been driving me crazy, love," I confessed, trailing my lips across her velvet cheek. "To be frank, I don't want to do anything else but make love to you right now."

I moved my lips to the side of her neck, right where I bit her. The scar was no longer there. It felt strange to not have her heartbeat as a signal for her rising excitement. But her breath quickly became irregular, just as it used to when she was human, and suddenly there was no more need for her heartbeat.

"I need to have you, Bella," I whispered before I traced the contour of her neck with my tongue. "And this might take us… a while," - I had to be a gentleman - "but you _need_ to hunt first."

I removed my mouth from her neck, and I looked at her face. She didn't seem mad.

"Where?" she finally said and I was thankful that she didn't push further, because I didn't have much power to resist if she did.

"I know just the place."

Bella got up and I followed her. I went to the closet to put a shirt on me.

"Will you… teach me?" the uncertainty in her voice somehow still sounded melodic.

"Of course. You will find that it comes very… naturally. Surprisingly so."

I grabbed her waist, guiding her towards the door. I noticed her walk was different. She no longer looked ready to stumble. Instead, she looked more confident. More graceful. There was grace even in the way she tied the shoelaces of her boots.

"You are so incredibly beautiful, Bella," I told her, as we walked outside into the forest. "Remind me to get you in front of a mirror when we get back."

A few days ago, my remark would have made her blush. Now there was no blush, only satin white, but she smiled and lowered her glance with bashfulness when she said 'thank you'. _Still my Bella_.

The rain hadn't started yet, but the air was permeated with the smell of anticipation. The patches of snow that welcomed us two days ago were still there, albeit smaller. Meanwhile, Bella was analyzing everything with a face full of awe, and it made me happy to see her like this: as if she was seeing the beauty of the world we were living in for the first time.

"Wow," she managed.

"I know, right?"

"It's like I could never see properly until now."

Her excitement was contagious. I planted a kiss on top of her head and I took her hand in mine.

"All right, it's time for your first lesson, love," I said with a grin.

She raised her eyebrows, waiting.

"We are now at the base of the mountain," I explained. "We need to go up, towards the valleys where the mountain goats live. It is a rocky, icy path that is quite far from the usual hiking trails, so there will be no humans nearby."

Bella listened very closely to each word, taking in every information with a serious face. I decided to lighten the mood:

"It's not the easiest path for humans, but for us? It won't be that much of a challenge. To make this exciting, I'll race you."

A devious smile blossomed on her lips.

"Sounds like a plan," Bella said. "But how will I know which way to go?"

" _That_ is the first lesson. Follow the direction of the wind and the scents of the forest."

"Easy for you to say," she mumbled.

"And it will be easy for you to do, you just don't know that yet."

A thunder broke the silence above us.

"Let's go," I said.

"You want a head start?"

I smiled.

"Ladies first."

By the time the next thunder boomed, Bella was already gone from my view.

* * *

If Bella was a newborn, I was a reborn. Witnessing the newness of her life was an experience in itself for me and I felt as if everything made more sense now that she was equal to me in terms of physicality. Seeing her run was a blast: there was elegance and precision in her movements, as she was treading on the ground with her boots, as her hair was flowing like a thick veil behind her. She held nothing back as she meandered through the forest, she made no effort to climb on the pointy rocks - rocks that would have meant an instant death in her previous life. She didn't slip on the icy portions and, most importantly, she managed to outrun me.

I made real efforts to overtake her, and I even managed to at one point, but Bella was simply too powerful. She might have thought that I was letting her win, but it was not the case. Later that day, I had to make sure she knew that as well, even if that meant stepping on my ego.

Bella followed my previous instructions. She finally understood what I meant when I told her to follow the direction of the wind and the scents of the forest. When she sensed the very first traces of the mountain goats, she grew even more confident in her quest. In a few minutes, we were already where we needed to be. Bella stopped, and a few seconds later I was right by her side.

"I won," she announced with a victorious smile.

"Indeed you won, congratulations!"

"You know I have to tell everyone about this when we get home, right? And then race with each of them, as well?"

"I didn't expect anything less from you."

I leaned down to kiss her and I felt overwhelmed yet again. Her lips were somehow as soft as they had always been, but also firm enough not to get crushed into oblivion by my own. Not having to worry about her fragility was a constant blessing, and that was the only thought that went through my head when her hands sneaked underneath my shirt, caressing my chest and abdomen. My God, I needed her like never before! My erection was almost painful at that moment.

The crisp air was sweetened with the scent of her arousal, and I could not help but remember the lacy black lingerie she had underneath, the one I had picked for her after her bath. I was willing to bet that she was soaking through her underwear right now, but I had to make a tremendous effort to not check. I could taste the surplus of venom in her mouth and I remembered that she _had_ to hunt. I had to wait.

Disengaging from our kiss was difficult, but necessary.

"You are making it incredibly tough not to ravish you right now," I murmured into her ear.

"Is there a good reason not to?"

Her voice, thick with yearning and full of invitations, was not helping me at all.

"There is," I managed, but my body was not working together with my reason, because I pushed my hard member against her belly. "Your thirst won't let you concentrate on sex for long."

She couldn't breathe properly as I ripped the top portion of her blouse with my teeth, to gain access to her breasts. I cupped them and pinched her nipples hard through the lace bra.

"And you see, I will need your full and undivided attention, Bella."

As her hands explored my back, I felt desperate to put her down on her knees right there on the snow and enter her from behind. Instead, I resigned myself to kissing her collarbone.

"Because the things I will do to you…" I went on, savouring the anticipation a little too much. "Let's just say they won't leave much room for distractions."

I took her wrists in my hand, because if she kept touching me like that, I would have lost it completely. Having her wrists locked like this gave me a few ideas.

"Now behave, love," I warned her.

I separated my body from hers, to gain back some sensibility, but electricity continued to surge between us despite my best intentions.

"It is time for lesson two," I said, in a bid to change the path of the discussion.

She regained a normal breathing pattern quicker than I was used to. Her nostrils moved ever so slightly, searching the air for new scents.

"What do you smell now?"

She closed her eyes and focused only on her breathing.

"Wet rocks… and pines. And… well, I think snow. Is this normal? Does snow even have a smell?"

"Yes, but I will need you to concentrate some more. What else is there?"

She inhaled deeper, right when a gust of wind blew at our feet. There it was, as obvious as I wanted it to be: the warm blood pulsing under the fur of the mountain goats, a couple of miles away from us. The memory of me drinking Bella's blood made this scent unappetizing and almost revolting. But to Bella, this smell wasn't unappetizing and revolting, it was the promise of a good meal, so she opened her eyes immediately.

"It's…" she didn't finish. Her pupils dilated and I could tell that she was entering a state of frenzy.

"Exactly. Now follow this scent - but be careful. You don't want to scare them away."

Bella started to run towards the source of the smell, her feet barely touching the ice - that's how fast she was. I went after her, and I stopped when she stopped, at the very base of a high vertical rock wall. She looked up and her eyes became feral when she spotted what her nose sensed from miles away: a fluffy mountain goat, riding on the rocks, unaware of the impending doom awaiting.

She no longer seemed to be aware that I was standing right next to her. A small growl was growing on her lips, as she calculated her next move. I could not help but stare at her. She was a different creature now and I had to remind myself that she didn't need my help. I forced myself to remain unmoved as Bella threw herself on to the steep rock wall and began climbing towards her prey. It was a fascinating sight, if not completely unusual to what I was used to.

Her hands and legs were fast and silent - so much so that the innocent goat didn't even flinch when Bella grabbed it and, guided by her instinct, broke its neck, in order to spare it from unnecessary pain. Bella jumped back to the ground, carrying the goat, and in an instant she was hunched over its body, with her teeth sinking through the animal's fur. She moaned when she swallowed the first mouthful of blood. I watched as she fed, and there was almost something voyeuristic in my doing so, because the scene in front of my eyes was so personal, so intimate, that it felt as if I should not have been a witness.

The sounds she made as she drank the blood from the lifeless body of the animal were unlike any other sounds she ever made. They were not like the usual 'mmm's she let out when she ate a particularly good pizza, they were the sounds of a winning predator. I felt an unusual high feeling in my chest. Was it pride?

Hours could have passed, because I had lost all sense of time in studying Bella. All I know is that at some point, she rose up and turned around, seeming almost surprised to see me there. Her white blouse was now splattered with blood, and the liquid managed to slide to her cleavage and bra, staining the delicate lace. She looked down with embarrassed eyes, but her cheeks remained snow-white.

"You… watched?" she managed.

"I did."

There was no shame in my voice.

"Oh…"

I walked towards her, puzzled by the edge in her tone.

"I'm sorry if…" she didn't finish her sentence.

"Bella, it's all right."

I took her face in my hands and made her look me in the eyes. Hers were still red and I knew they would remain like that for a while.

"No," she protested. "You seeing me like that, it's…"

"It is normal," I interrupted her before she could worry any more. "I've seen vampires hunt countless times, love. I am not appalled, if that's what you think. In fact, I am kind of amazed. You are a natural."

Bella let out a long sigh. A million emotions seemed to cross her face at that moment. When she looked at me, her big red eyes had a childlike confusion in them.

"When I smelled the blood, I felt out of control, Edward."

"Completely normal," I assured her.

"I think I even phased out at some point."

She bit her lip anxiously, but she didn't look away.

"I'm sorry, I know I look disgusting right now," she said.

"On the contrary, you look absolutely ravishing," I countered.

She half-smiled.

"How do you feel?" I demanded.

"Surprisingly full."

"Already? Don't you need some more?"

"Not really," Bella grimaced. "Besides, now it's your turn, right?"

She seemed to regain some of her good spirits.

"Well, not really."

Truth be told, I felt deprived of any thirst. My throat wasn't burning, my mouth wasn't flooded with venom. It seemed that drinking her blood - although not nearly in the quantities I usually required to quench my thirst - had had an unusual satiating effect on my system. I had no idea how long that would last, but I felt thankful nonetheless.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You might not remember all the details, but I had quite a feast a couple of days ago."

I expected a grimace from her upon hearing my dark remark, but instead her eyes glistened with curiosity.

"About that… My memories are quite foggy, so I was hoping you would help me fill in the gaps."

Her voice was oddly inviting - almost seducing. Was this turning her on? And if it did, how could it? She had been in so much pain... I knew for a fact that there had been no room for pleasure. Not for her.

"I'm not sure about that, my love."

We were entering a dangerous territory. The memory of drinking her blood was something I had tried to banish from my thoughts for the past two days and a half. Of course I loved it and it was the single most delicious meal in my entire existence. But I also hated it, because it had been so good that I almost didn't stop.

"Was it good for you?" she insisted.

I didn't respond.

"Come on, you can't keep that to yourself."

"Isabella..."

She raised her eyebrows when she heard me say her full name.

" _Good_ does not begin to cover it," I said. "You were out-of-this-world delicious, of course."

I immediately scolded myself for allowing those crass words to escape my mouth.

"It was everything I'd hoped for and more."

I took her in my arms and I pressed my lips on her forehead.

"I can't tell you how much I loved doing that to you," I confessed. "It's scary how much, actually."

I felt her breath on my neck, calm and collected. Having her safe in my arms made the memory more bearable, but not entirely.

"Don't feel bad, please," she murmured. "You did stop. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

True. I did stop. But she had to call out my name twice in order to pull me from my frenzy.

„And I might not remember everything, but I do remember feeling quite good myself," she said.

My mind took me back to that fateful moment in an instant. One moment I was making love to her, then the next my teeth were deep inside her throat. Then the screams... The trembling. Her pleas.

"I think your memory might be a tad too foggy, if that's what you remember."

My voice sounded harsher than I intended. I held her closer in my arms, to attenuate my own rudeness.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Let me try again."

I felt a few drops of water on my skin - the rain that ran late.

"I know that drinking your blood was not really part of the original plan, my love," I began. "But it had been on my mind for weeks."

"I kind of assumed it was an implied notion."

I laughed bitterly.

"So you always thought that I had the right to feed from you, since I was the one changing you?"

"In a nutshell, yes," she said.

I distanced myself a bit from her, to look into her eyes. They were warm and playful. The rain grew thicker, and for once I didn't have to worry that Bella might get cold and wet.

"To resume, Alice had seen me do it in her visions. She saw positive outcomes each time."

"But you still had to ask," Bella mocked me, breaking whatever tension I had managed to build.

"Of course."

"Always the gentleman."

Her blouse was now wet from the rain, and the blood stains grew wider in size from the moisture. But I could not pay much attention to the stains, because her ripped blouse revealed the most alluring cleavage, and the thoughts that ran through my head upon seeing it were anything _but_ gentlemanly. She caught me staring and she smiled:

"You want me to cover up, so that I don't distract you?"

"Oh, on the contrary, love… I think you are wearing far too many clothes."

As I said that, I made sure to rip the rest of her blouse, along with her bra, and threw them on the ground. Her nipples were no longer rosy, they were now the colour of peonies in bloom, and the contrast with her snow-white skin made for an extremely erotic sight.

Bella's lips parted in anticipation.

"And you've made such a mess," I said, as I traced my fingers on the waistband of her pants and noticed that some blood got on them as well. "It's too bad for your clothes, don't you think?"

With a swift move, I tore her jeans right where they were hugging her hips, and they fell down, leaving Bella wearing nothing else but the black lace thong I had picked for her.

"I liked those jeans," she murmured, but her eyes weren't looking at me, but rather at the growing mass in my pants.

"Well, that's a shame, because I like you better without them."

I pulled her closer to me, grabbing her by her waist. She was so incredibly beautiful.

"Do you mind the rain?" I asked her.

"Not in the slightest."

I leaned down to kiss her neck, inhaling its glorious lavender sugar scent. Once again, my lips found the place where I bit her and this time I allowed myself to be reckless, so I bit. Hard. Her moan was the most amazing sound my ears had ever heard. I could no longer contain my curiosity, so I reached down with one hand between her legs. Just as I expected, the lace was doused from her excitement. Even more than when she was human, to my surprise.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this, Bella," I murmured into her ear, as I slid my fingers beneath her underwear, into her inviting wetness, and found her clitoris. "I should probably warn you that I'm not gonna hold back this time."

"I really hope you don't."

And, faithful to my word, I didn't.

* * *

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	4. Returning

I didn't fully comprehend how much I had been missing out on when it came to sex with Bella until our first few hours spent loving each other between the patches of snow. Rain came and went, but we never stopped. There were so many new things to explore and try, now that there was essentially no limit to what we could do.

We didn't talk much - only when we wanted to let the other know what we wanted to do next or how good a particular motion or touch felt. If there were any animals nearby when we started, they were long gone, our noise being enough of a trigger to scare them away.

Bella seemed to enjoy her new power a little too much, which meant that she got to stay on top and ride me time and time again. I loved seeing her enjoy herself like this - and I didn't exactly mind being underneath her either. At times, the way she straddled me with her thighs hurt a little, now that she was much stronger, but I didn't complain.

When she went down on me, it was surreal. The suction between her warm lips and my shaft felt positively different and brought me to orgasm in an instant. This time I didn't have to worry when I came. My venom flooded her mouth and she swallowed it, while her red eyes locked with mine, to silently commemorate a new first for us.

We didn't need much rest. Bella seemed to be quite insatiable, to my delight - and the fact that she no longer needed to sleep was a blessing for both of us. Her body felt different, yet somehow the same: her skin felt warm against mine, her curves were as gracious as ever and she was incredibly wet. At the same time, she could now change positions without letting me know, because she had just as much strength as I did.

A small part of me wondered how she could do it all and not succumb to the instincts of being a vampire. She had been a newborn for less than a day, yet there we were, making love with such abandon that I couldn't possibly understand how she never got distracted by a new wave of thirst. My curiosity got the best of me at some point towards the next morning, when I got up holding her in my arms, to move us a few hundred feet away, to what looked like an improvised rock chair.

"Bella, love, you have to tell me how you do this," I said.

She was kissing my neck, but stopped.

"What do you mean?"

I laid her naked body on the rock and I kneeled in front of her.

"You're being such a perfectly composed newborn and I didn't expect that at all," I admitted.

"Well, then, what did you expect?"

Truth time.

"For you to be so thirsty that nothing else mattered…" I began. "For you to be overwhelmed by the need for blood. And maybe for you to run away immediately after waking up."

Her expression was filled with outrage.

"How could I have run away, Edward?"

I let my fingers trace the shape of her thighs, feeling a tepid current emanating from her skin as I spoke:

"It's not unusual for a newborn to get scared upon waking up. Carlisle warned me. Waking up in that state, even when you know your creator... It can be overwhelming. Some run away seconds after waking up."

"Fair enough, but you're not some random creator that I happen to know. You are my husband."

Whatever frozen remains of my heart melted each time I heard her say that. _Husband_. Years ago, I never would have thought that such a simple word could bring so much joy to a person.

"You know, you might want to start giving me some credit," Bella said, her tone demanding.

I smiled and, grabbing her thighs, I opened her legs wide.

"Your wish is my command, ma'am."

She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I am being serious, though," she pointed.

I made an effort to look at her face, and not at the alluring wetness right in front of me.

"I am, too," I said. "It's getting tiring to underestimate you."

Her hands were in my hair now, pulling me closer to where I wanted to be.

"We'll see," she said.

The fragrance of her arousal was everywhere around me and I could no longer concentrate on our discussion. I inserted one finger into her opening and she let out a small cry, as her muscles tightened around it. Watching her reaction, I slid another finger in. And when she moaned my name, another. And when she begged me for more, another. Soon enough, my hand was moving in and out of her with brutal speed, and I made sure to rub against her most sensitive spot inside. Her orgasm, explosive and wet, came fast. Her wriggling made the rock beneath her crack - so maybe the rock hadn't been my best idea. Before she could notice, I grabbed her and hurled her body to the ground. In an instant I was on top and inside of her.

"God, you feel tight," I moaned as I plunged hard into her depths.

Her nails dug into my back, as they always did when I was on top, and they no longer felt like feathers. They felt sharp and _good_. I moved fast, unable to understand how we could ever stop when it felt so gratifying. I was thankful we were in the middle of nowhere, where we could afford to make as much mess and noise as we wanted. Back home, we would have to endure Emmett's dirty jokes and cheeky remarks. Of course I knew places far enough away from our family's ears, but I didn't want to have to run away each time I wanted to have Bella all to myself - which, by the looks of it, was going to be quite often.

I decided that was a problem for another time. Bella urged me to go harder and I happily obliged, pressing on her clitoris with my pubic bone each time I pushed. When she threw her head back and exposed her neck, I felt something primal rising in my core. It seemed that her neck, although drained of the blood that used to enthrall me, still carried the same irresistible quality as before. I held nothing back when I bit it. My teeth didn't penetrate her marble skin, but the flesh yielded softly to the pressure and Bella's groan came out loudly as a response.

"Do it again, please," she pleaded.

She didn't have to ask me twice. I bit once more, moaning along with her as I did. I picked up my pace and I kept my face buried in her neck. I felt overwhelmed by her smell, by her panting, by her body reacting to mine. Soon enough, it became too much and too good, so I came, my venom gushing inside her body. My last thrusts ignited Bella's orgasm as well and she let out a powerful cry of satisfaction in response, her internal muscles clenching around me and squeezing the last drops of venom out of me.

I never wanted to leave that place or that moment. Now that the boundaries were gone, there was only joy. Each hour felt like a minute when I was loving her and I was the luckiest vampire in the world to have a newborn mate whose thirst was manageable. I made sure to tell her how much I loved her and for the first time ever, I had no care in the world.

* * *

We couldn't hide from the real world forever. It had been days since we left the cottage and I knew we were being waited for back at home. It took me a great deal of power to tell her:

"We need to head back home, love."

She laid on the ground next to me, with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. Her hair was messed up from our activities.

"Do we have to?" she complained.

"I am afraid so."

She purred and in a second she was on top of me.

"This is unbelievable, Edward," she said.

"What is?"

She took a deep breath in, her face full of satisfaction.

"Everything is so much clearer now - and I am not just talking about my super-vision."

I let my hands rest on her hips, longing to possess her again. But I decided to behave.

"I feel like there is so, so much to do," Bella sighed.

"And by 'so, so much' you mean endless sex?"

She laughed and the sound sent pleasant chills down my spine.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Not usually, my love. But don't worry, I am not much different when it comes to this. If I had it my way, I would do nothing but make love to you."

"Well, what are we going to do back home?"

The humour in her tone was mixed with actual worry.

"We might have to be a little less noisy."

I could already imagine that for Emmett, our rowdy and resounding lovemaking would be an endless joke resource.

"If you're going to do to me what you did here," - her voice went soft and I waited for a blush that never came - "I'm afraid that it will be impossible."

"Well, I know some places back in Forks, of course. I might have to steal you and hold you there as my prisoner until I am fully satisfied."

"Hmmm, I might be just okay with being your prisoner."

Bella lowered her body until my tip was right at her entrance. She slid down effortlessly and gasped. I forgot what I was going to say next, as my hands gripped her buttocks and forced her body down, so that I could enter deeper.

A couple of hours later, I was standing on top of her, with my head resting on her chest. The sun had set, but the sky remained as cloudy as the day we got there. A howling wind haunted the valley. This time, Bella was the one who spoke first:

"Don't you miss it?"

"What is it that I should miss?" I inquired cautiously.

"You know… The warmth, the softness… the blood."

I tried very hard not to think too much of the latter.

"Bella, you are warm," I told her, pressing my palm on her cheek. "Your skin might no longer feel hot to me, but I can still feel your heat. In fact, we are the same temperature now."

She seemed pleased with my answer, so I went on:

"And you are soft, incredibly so. But there's the added bonus of not being so easily breakable. As for the blood..."

I made an effort not to look away from her eyes.

"I definitely don't miss wanting to hurt you."

She bit her lip, seemingly regretting the last part of her question. That wasn't fair. She wasn't supposed to feel guilty about the monstrous hunger that ruled my senses back when she was human.

"That seems fair enough," Bella decided, stopping my train of thought right in the tracks. "I know I'm not missing out on anything, glad to know it's mutual."

In a second, she was no longer underneath me. I looked up to see her standing up, her glorious body smudged with traces of dirt and snow.

"So you're done, beautiful?" I smirked. "You're finally ready to go home?"

"You know I could stay here with you forever, but I am aware that Alice is probably going mad right now. I promised her we would go shopping for a new wardrobe when we get back. The sooner I get it done, the better."

I tried and failed to suppress my laugh. I knew about Alice's plan. Bella seemed brave now, but I knew she wasn't going to last long - not for what my sister had in mind. A part of me still hoped that this plan could be postponed, despite Alice being so certain in her visions.

But I couldn't deny the fact that Alice had also seen me stopping - and she had been right about that.

"Well, you will definitely need new clothes," I smiled, trying to keep the mood light. "I've already started thrashing the ones you have, in case you didn't notice."

I was pleased to see a hint of shock on her face.

"Come on, let's go," I said. "If I stay here any longer with you, I don't think I'll ever leave."

I got up and started picking up the remains of our clothes from the ground. The road back to our cottage was short and Bella once again managed to outrun me. It didn't help that we had to run naked due to the fact that our clothes were unwearable after we had ripped them to shreds - I almost wanted to remain behind her, so that I could study the sensuous movements her buttocks made when she ran.

Back to the cottage, I threw away the pieces of clothing and we got into the shower together, to clean ourselves up. We didn't resist and soon enough I found myself pinning her against the bathroom wall and making love to her all over again. This was quickly becoming a habit and I had to find a way to channel my excitement so that I didn't become too overwhelmed. In our frenzy, we managed to break parts of the tub. I tried not to dwell on it, knowing that there was plenty of time to repair the damage before Alice and Jasper's next visit.

When we were finished, we dressed up. Seeing Bella clothed again helped with bringing some of my reason back, but not entirely. I asked her if she was feeling thirsty, but she assured me that she was fine. On the outside, I took her word for it. On the inside, my anxiety was boiling. After all, we were going to be close to humans soon and God knew how she was going to react then. I needed to read her mind so much.

Before long, we were back in the car. It was time to discuss the less pleasant things in our lives, such as the fact that we needed to move out of Forks as soon as possible, so that there was no chance of anybody noticing Bella's change and no need for us to organize a fake funeral. Bella knew about this and wasn't too thrilled, so she had tried to evade the discussion each time I brought it up in the past few months - but she knew this was coming nonetheless. Our best bet was the rainy Cardiff, in the United Kingdom, all the way down in Europe. We already had everything set in place there. Bella was adamant about meeting up with Charlie one last time before we left, but I wasn't so sure that was a good idea.

At some point during this conversation, Bella's attention drifted away. A deep sigh evaded my throat, as I felt the air getting thicker with a particular smell: the smell of human blood. It was a mile away from us, coming from a driver who was getting closer. There was barely any burning in my throat, but it wasn't me that I was worried about. I turned around to look at Bella. She didn't look at me. I knew exactly where her mind was wandering and I knew I had to find some way to bring it back.

"Love, you need to focus," I told her.

Her hands were now closed into tight fists.

"It will burn pretty badly when he'll get closer," I continued. "Probably worse than when we went hunting."

She inhaled deeply and growled. This wasn't good. I pressed firmly on the acceleration pedal, but I wasn't fast enough. Bella had already opened the car door, ready to jump out. Gathering all the strength in my body, I grabbed her by the waist with one arm and pulled her back in with all my force, before she could do anything reckless that she might have regretted after. I closed the door and locked it.

"This is not happening, Bella!" I snarled.

She was breathing fast and I could tell that she was enraged.

"I need it," her voice was raspy.

"Yes, but not like this."

I kept my arm in front of her, like a seatbelt. This was all my fault. How could I have been so oblivious to believe her when she said she wasn't thirsty? I exhaled with relief when the other car passed us by and Bella didn't move.

"Okay, I will stop the car," I announced. "It is time for a little detour."

I could see further down the road a small entrance in the woods that flanked the road and I took it. It was tight, but the car managed to fit. I stopped the car and only then did I move my arm away from Bella. She still didn't look at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yes, I am now."

"I'm sorry I wasn't more careful. We should've gone hunting once again before we left."

"It's fine, I said I wasn't thirsty."

"Yet you are, so it's time for round two."

The second hunting session involved less running and more blood. Bella managed to find two deers and I helped her hunt them down. As she was feeding from the first, I quickly broke the neck of the second one and carried it to her. She drained them and blood got on her clothes - again.

When she was done, I took her in my arms and started planting kisses on her hairline. She had a lot to learn, and I was ready to teach her everything I knew. She was already much stronger than any newborn I had ever encountered - and that alone had to be a blessing of some sort.

Back in the car, things were easier. Bella had to change her clothes again, since the old ones were splattered with blood. She no longer freaked out when we approached humans - but I kept my guard up, in case her instincts got the better of her. Strangely, they never did.

"So about Cardiff," Bella began. "How exactly is it going to be? Will we enroll in highschool or…?"

"Yes and no. Rosalie and Emmett will be off to college, studying business. Esme is planning to teach some Interior Design classes there - this will be a first for her actually. Carlisle has some connections in Cardiff and he already has a position in place at the Royal Infirmary."

"Wow, that's… quite a different dynamic from Forks. What about Alice and Jasper?"

"They're going to repeat highschool this time around. Alice isn't exactly keen on the idea, but she does it for Jasper. He needs a not-so-challenging environment and he needs her there to calm his thirst down - even though he'll never admit the last part to her face."

Bella looked away for a moment, seemingly sad.

"Okay, what about us?" she asked, her glance still lost somewhere in the distance when she spoke.

"Well, since you are so adamant about taking a gap year before college, you'll have that - not that it would've been such a good idea with you being a newborn and all that," I laughed bitterly. "And we'll be the newlyweds of the family, which is not so far off from the truth, if you think about it. We'll have our own place, of course, and I might take up teaching, just like Esme."

"That's new! What will you teach?"

"Modern Languages, most likely."

"Hmmm, professor Cullen," she muttered, a smile blossoming on her lips. "I bet the female students will be all over you."

"And it won't mean anything to me, because I will be all over _you_ as soon as I get home."

"Maybe even a few male students," she continued her teasing.

"Too bad none of them are my type."

"You'll be quite the heartbreaker, Edward."

"Not with you, my love," I said. "Never with you."

By the time we got closer to the eternal green halo of Forks, I felt more tense. From that moment on, we had a little over a month to make amends and tie up all loose ends. We had to be in Cardiff by the beginning of August. It felt rushed, but it was the only way we could evade suspicions.

Back home, everybody was thrilled to see Bella - with the predictable exception of Rosalie, whose thoughts made it very clear to me that she considered me a soulless monster. They had many questions for her and I was surprised at how well she handled it all.

One question remained unspoken though, one that had been floating through their minds ever since they saw the red tint in my eyes. I knew Alice hadn't told them about my plan, but it wasn't hard to guess what happened. Emmett was lowkey impressed, but he surprisingly decided to tell me that out loud later, when Bella wasn't going to be around. Rose, on the other hand, felt pure disgust towards me. I couldn't totally blame her. Carlisle was the only one that held no judgement against me - not negative, nor positive. His thoughts were surprisingly neutral. Almost as if he expected me to do what I did.

Alice's patience had reached its peak at some point, when the discussion drifted away from Bella's second hunting experience. She grabbed Bella by her waist and dragged her away from the sofa, where she was sitting.

"Okay, she's had enough of your questions, guys," she announced, with her arms wrapped protectively around Bella.

I could see a hint of relief in my wife's eyes. It was brief - so brief that the next second it was no longer there. This took me by surprise: when did she get good at hiding her facial expressions?

"Besides, I had already booked a full day with her in advance."

"Don't you think Edward might have plans with her already?" Esme scolded her gently.

I could hear Emmett's inappropriate laugh in his head before he said the words:

"I think if we let them have their way, we won't see them around here too much."

Bella rolled her eyes and I smiled. We both knew how right Emmett was.

"It's all right, actually," she said. "I promised Alice I'll be all hers today."

 _And you'll be all mine tonight_.

My eyebrows raised in surprise at my own thought. My brain was so easily distracted by the intense desire I felt for her, it was almost ridiculous. As much as I needed to find a balance between our sex life and everything else, I wasn't so sure I actually wanted that. I enjoyed the ecstasy of constantly wanting her too much.

" _Can't she take her and go already?_ "

Ah, I hadn't missed Rosalie's snark one bit. I knew she was furious with me, but her mean thoughts towards Bella still sparked my anger. Jasper saw my hands closing into fists and unleashed a wave of calmness over me. He met my thankful glance and smiled.

" _You're welcome. Whatever that was for_."

" _Edward,"_ Carlisle's mental calling interrupted the usual clamour in my head. " _Are you sure this is a good idea?_ "

I sighed, because I knew exactly what he meant. Bella had been a newborn for a little less than a week, so going out and getting moderately close to humans was quite a risk. However, sheltering her was not the best long term solution. Besides, she wasn't going to be alone. Alice was going to be right by her side at all times - and she had already planned to take Bella hunting for a few mountain lions beforehand, to take all the precautions necessary.

Of course, the only thing that actually eased me on the idea was monitoring Alice's visions. They spinned in so many directions, but not one of them indicated danger.

I nodded a silent 'yes' towards Carlisle.

" _I hope Alice is not pushing her limits_."

I hoped so too. But Alice was confident. Her visions made her so.

"So I'll see you tonight," Jasper said, as he approached Alice to kiss her. "Don't scare Bella away."

They laughed and Alice's mind filled up with images of all the department stores and designer boutiques she planned to take her to. Less than a second later, Bella was standing right next to me.

"You've got to give me a clue: how bad will it be?" she asked.

I laughed. The mental image of Bella trying on new clothes for hours was irresistibly funny.

"That remains to be seen, love."

She sighed and reached out to press her lips on mine. I responded willingly, immediately putting my hand on the nape of her neck. I felt the tip of her tongue on my razor-sharp teeth and I pulled her closer to my body, drunk on her scent.

" _No, no, there is plenty of time for that later, don't be greedy!_ "

Alice's thoughts were angrier than her face when she grabbed Bella, interrupting our kiss.

"Come on, he can wait," Alice chirped.

"That's debatable," I smirked. "On the bright side, Bella, the sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back to me."

I felt a primal longing to grab her ass as she turned around to leave, but I behaved, since we were anything but alone in that room. Nevertheless, Emmett caught me staring and grinned.

" _My bro is so getting that ass_."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. As weirdly sexual as his remarks could get, I at least knew for a fact they were harmless. He never looked at Bella - or any other woman, besides Rosalie, for that matter - the way that I did. But that didn't stop him from being over-joyous over the fact that his brother was finally having full-blown vampire sex.

" _He's getting it all night long_."

"Save it," I said.

"You know I'm right though."

"Yes," I smiled, hoping he would leave it at that.

Before I knew it, Bella and Alice were gone. Carlisle and Esme followed them soon after. They had to tie a few loose ends at the hospital, now that we were leaving. The locals had received the news with chagrin - after all, they knew that Carlisle was quite a blessing for their little town. Whoever was going to take his place had some large shoes to fill in.

Rosalie made the spontaneous decision to rearrange her closet and disappeared upstairs. She was still angry, but not in the mood to get it all out on me.

"So," Jasper began. "Can I entice you with a mountain lion or two?"

" _No chance of that, he seems full already_."

I cringed upon hearing Emmett's thought. Mostly because he was right. But also because I owed them a few explanations about my red eyes.

"I might take you up on that offer," I said, although the mere thought of hunting and drinking blood that would wash away the sweet aftertaste of Bella brought me disgust. I knew at some point I would feel thirsty again and I would have to hunt, but that point seemed to be far away. The memory of my wife's blood on my tongue was too good to be tainted.

"Come with us," Emmett said. "You can watch if you're not thirsty."

" _Subtle as a brick,"_ Jasper's mental voice echoed my own thoughts.

"Sure, why not?"

"Up for a race, dude?" Emmett offered.

"You've got no chance, Em," Jasper smiled.

And in all honesty, he really hadn't. Most of the time, I was the fastest among them. It was a rare - if not entirely impossible - event when one of my brothers or sisters managed to outrun me. Now that Bella's blood was flowing in my system, more powerful than the blood of any animal, I was even more confident in my abilities.

"Jasper's right, but I'll indulge you."

Emmett gave me a playful bump and, as usual, offered himself an unfair head start and jumped outside through the closest open window. I shook my head and watched as Jasper did the same.

I waited ten seconds or more before I sprinted out of the house. Rosalie was singing a happy song upstairs, in a bid to forget about how mad she was at me for changing Bella and how mad she was at Bella for getting all the attention.

It took me less than a few seconds to find Jasper and Emmett - and even less to outrun them, as I plunged deeper into the familiar woods, to which I had to say goodbye to sooner rather than later.

* * *

**I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter/story in the comments. Sending you love and good thoughts!**


	5. Playing

The hunting itself didn't take long. Emmett and Jasper took down a bear and a mountain lion and decided to share. I stood on the sidelines, waiting for them to finish. As I stood there, I couldn't help but think about Bella and Alice - more specifically, how Bella was going to handle everything. They were probably hunting as well. However, in a few hours, my wife was going to be dragged through lots of boutiques and stores and encounter many humans along the way. Alice was going to see if anything bad was going to happen just in time to take Bella away, but there were still so many 'what if's haunting my mind.

"Worrying will get you nowhere," Jasper said, approaching me.

Emmett was still devouring whatever blood was left in the bear that he took down.

" _And don't underestimate Alice_."

"I wouldn't dare, Jazz."

His presence was enough to disperse my concerns - at least for the time being.

"If it helps, Alice had done nothing but look through visions of her and Bella going to the mall while you were gone."

I chuckled.

"If she hadn't, I wouldn't have allowed this little trip to happen," I said.

" _Ease up, being controlling will get you nowhere fast_."

"You're right," I admitted, exactly when Emmett joined us.

The bear fight left him unscathed. His shirt looked as smooth and wrinkle-free as when he left the house.

"Still thinking about how your woman will provoke a carnage in the mall?" he asked gleefully.

I growled.

"Don't push it, Em," Jasper warned.

Emmett raised his hands up in the air, in a defensive gesture, and said:

"Someone here is not in the mood for jokes."

" _Maybe bro needs to get his rocks off_."

"Speaking of which," I said, my tone unabashedly harsh. "Rosalie seemed to be upset all afternoon, Emmett. Care to apply the same logic there?"

He began laughing and sat down in the grass, next to us.

"Okay, but if we're being serious, you said Bella was completely cool on the road back home."

"Well, not completely," I pursed my lips. "She did try to get out of the car when she first smelled human blood. I stopped her just in time."

"You wouldn't have stopped me if _I_ was a newborn," Emmet said.

" _I mean, come on, if she wanted to, she would have pushed you away easily."_

Now that I thought about it, he wasn't wrong. Bella manoeuvred me with no effort when we were in that valley, making love. She could have easily broken my grip when I stopped her from jumping out of the car if she wanted to, but she didn't. She had made the deliberate decision not to.

"Emmett's right," Jasper said.

" _Although it is strange how well she conducts herself. It took me a full year to get where she is…_ "

"And consider this," Emmett intervened. "The timing is just perfect: it is Monday and it is noon. Most people are working right now, so the mall is probably not that crowded anyway."

"They'll be back in no time. But until they do, you've got some explaining to do."

I truly had. They had been polite enough not to ask about my red eyes when Bella was present, so I owed them that much.

Whenever any of us broke the unwritten rule regarding our diet, discussions ensued. The last time it happened was in 1986. It was late August when Jasper lost his control after a Queen concert. The particularly honey-like smell of a redheaded teen had caught him unprepared. He followed the poor girl out of the stadium and on to a dark alley. She had no chance against his blinding thirst. Alice had been devastated for a whole year after, although she rarely expressed it.

What happened between me and Bella was a different story though. I had something that neither of us had when we strayed from our path in the past: consent. This had to mean something - or so I hoped. There was no judgement in their thoughts, only curiosity.

"I must admit I am surprised Alice kept her mouth shut from you, Jasper," I began.

He flashed a smile, rolling his eyes.

" _She can keep a secret when she really wants to_."

" _Alice knew? Kinky!_ "

"Alice _saw_ my intentions," I emphasized. "I had no escape from her freaking gift."

"Did she go full-on crazy-midget mode when she saw it?"

Emmett's question had a quick consequence in the form of Jasper's fist punching his stomach.

"Something like that," I said when they were done throwing punches at each other. "She was pissed. But then she also saw me stopping in each of her visions. I guess this is why she didn't try to talk me out of it - or at least tell Carlisle about my intentions."

" _Quite the gatekeeper,"_ Jasper was impressed.

"Okay, bro, but did Bella know?"

"Yes. Although not from the beginning."

" _Sneaky boy_."

"I didn't tell her at first. I was still oscillating between not doing what I wanted at all and doing it without telling her."

I felt ashamed to admit the latter, but I knew they would understand.

"Fair enough," Jasper said, and his thoughts reflected his words. "So why did you tell her?"

" _Maybe to give you an incentive to stop?_ "

"No," I answered Emmett's mental question before Jasper's spoken one. "If I didn't, she would have been nothing more than my prey."

"A vampire seeking consent, that's new," Jazz murmured.

His thoughts wandered back to that fateful night in 1986. The memory was still intact in his head, although tainted with shame. Back then, he didn't say a word to that redhead. The whole thing happened so fast, she didn't even have time to scream. I couldn't say the same about my Bella. She did scream - a lot. Remembering each detail of her suffering was torture, but I forced myself to endure it. It was nothing compared to what she had felt.

"But real talk, dude," Emmett said. "Tell me what it was like to finally do it."

Mind-blowingly delicious. Incredibly taboo. Wildly arousing. Everything I had hoped for.

"I don't think words could ever capture that experience," I said. "You see, back in my rebellious phase, I only drank the blood of murderers, as you both know. But their blood never held such a power over me. And I wasn't in love with them, of course."

"I don't know how you did stop," Jasper said, his voice almost a whisper.

" _I mean she smelled amazing. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that. But she did. Damn this, sorry!_ "

"Jazz," I tried to interrupt the despair in his thoughts. "It's fine. And I don't know either. I've never experienced such a frenzy in my entire existence. The truth is… She had to call out my name. Twice."

As ashamed as I was to admit that out loud, it felt liberating to be honest with them. Their eyes were understanding, just like their thoughts. And up until that moment, I didn't realize how much I actually needed to get it all out. To face what I had done, so that I could move on.

"I'm willing to bet you've been all moody with Bella after," Emmett smirked.

I nodded.

"Poor thing. Getting turned _and_ having to console your angsty ass, all in the span of two days."

They both laughed and I couldn't help but do the same.

The rest of the day went by in a haze. We talked about Cardiff and we teased Jasper for being the only highschooler in our trio. He took it like a champion, but he made sure to tell Emmett that if he was going to flunk his classes as much as he did when he studied at the University of Alaska in the '90s, Rosalie might kick him out of the house this time around. We raced a couple more times and Emmett decided that it might be a good idea to throw boulders at me, so that he could slow me down. I still won, but we left an awful lot of broken boulders behind us.

Back home, things were quiet. Carlisle was in his office, catching up on the latest studies on MRSA, while Esme and Rosalie were in the living room. Esme was completely lost into painting an imaginary landscape when we arrived. A big smile blossomed on her face when she saw us.

"My boys are back!"

She studied me from head to toe. My ruffled hair amused her, but my eyes drew her attention more. I heard the same motherly concern in her thoughts as I did when I saw her this morning.

" _He'll tell me when he's ready_."

"Have you had fun?"

"I would assume they did, going by the noise they made," Rosalie smiled, raising her glance from the book she was reading.

To be fair, Emmett throwing boulders after me wasn't exactly a discreet activity.

"This one doesn't play fair," he said, pointing at me.

"I wasn't the one throwing things at you to slow you down, okay?"

Esme's smile widened as she watched us quarrel, but her mind was still tinted with unspoken worry. She didn't deserve this. The sooner I gave her the explanation she deserved, the better.

"Let's go for a walk, Esme," I said and her eyebrows arched up in surprise.

" _Sooner than expected_."

"Of course, dear!"

We didn't venture far. We walked along the river bank, behind the house. Being the lady that she was, she didn't bring up the subject and instead allowed me to do it on my own terms. After having discussed it all afternoon with Emmett and Jasper, it felt easier now to do it, so it didn't take me long.

Esme listened carefully, without interrupting me. She only spoke when I finished:

"I think you're not giving yourself enough credit."

I was puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

" _You kept on saying that you only stopped after Bella called your name the second time_."

"It is the truth," I said.

"I know, but you might be missing my point. _You_ did the stopping on your own."

"That's not…"

She didn't let me finish:

"And you would have stopped anyway. I am sure of it. I know you too well, Edward."

"Of course you're saying that, you're my mother," I mumbled.

"I am not saying it just because. You're a good man."

Her thoughts matched her speech perfectly and I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Her maternal love was a gift that kept on giving and I made a mental note to never take it for granted.

As she reached out to hug me, we heard the low purr of Alice's car getting closer. It was probably a few miles away, but I was convinced that if my heart wasn't frozen, it would've jumped out of my chest from the excitement of Bella's return.

"They sound fine," Esme murmured, as the low mumble of their conversation approached us. "Although Bella probably needs a good break. Let's go say hi!"

A few minutes later, we were in the garage, where Alice had parked her lavender Porsche. She got out of the car, jingled a hasty 'hello' and went straight to the trunk of the car, where she had carefully put dozens of bags full of clothes.

When Bella got out of the car, my breath got stuck in the back of my throat. I had no idea how it happened, but I knew I had to thank Alice for that.

Bella was wearing a sleeveless cornflower blue dress, that draped perfectly over every curve of her body. It was low cut - not enough to be indecent, but just enough for the delicate contour of her breasts to tantalize me. The skirt was shaped somewhat like a tulip and it revealed a good portion of her right thigh as it flowed down to her calves. As my eyes wandered to her feet, I noticed that she wore cream-coloured stilettos. They were the same colour as her pale skin.

She smiled when she saw my longing gaze.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Esme said.

"Thanks! It turns out heels aren't the worst when you can actually walk in them without falling over every other step. Although I'd still take my sneakers any day."

In a second, I was standing right next to her, studying her up-close. Her eyes were an odd mixture of brown and red, after the venom dissolved the pigment of the contact lenses Alice made her wore.

"I think 'beautiful' does not even begin to cover how you look right now, Bella," I whispered and I leaned down to kiss her. Her scent was heavenly. "You are absolute perfection."

"It took a lot of convincing on my part, but as you can all see, it was absolutely worth it," Alice chirped, evidently proud of herself.

I couldn't agree more. We were definitely not staying inside the house that night. The things I wanted to do to her as she was wearing that dress couldn't possibly have any hearing witnesses. And I needed some chains for what I had in mind.

My excitement almost made me forget the most important question:

"So how was today?"

" _You really don't have to worry. She did more than okay_."

"I think it would've been a lot harder if Alice didn't bring me to those mountain lions," Bella said, humble as always.

"I am proud of you," I told her.

"The mall wasn't crowded anyway. Still, she turned every head."

Of course she did. It was all too easy to be completely blown away when you saw her.

"Did you find something nice for you?" Esme asked.

"I actually did. Plus a ton of stuff that Alice thinks looks nice on me."

"If they're anything like this dress, you'll be just fine, dear!"

"But we are not done yet," Alice pointed out from where she was standing. "We've still got items on my list that we didn't get to check today. Like coats and skirts."

Bella looked completely horrified.

"I really don't know about the skirts..." she said.

"Last I checked you thought the same about dresses and look at you now!"

"Just because I am wearing one now doesn't mean it is now my favourite thing to wear," she hissed. "It's not even in my top five."

"We'll see about that."

Alice finally managed to get all the bags out of the car. I offered to help her take them upstairs, to our room. She accepted, but she insisted she didn't need my help with unpacking and shooed me away. I obliged, but I had already heard in her mind why she didn't want me there: she had bought lots of lingerie for Bella and she wanted it to be all a surprise. Well, to hell with my gift.

Downstairs, in the living room, Emmett was already interrogating Bella about her day. I took this as an opportunity to put my less noble plan into motion. I went once again to the garage, straight to my winter toolbox. And there they were, just as I remembered: the snow chains for my tyres. Made of steel and as durable as I needed them to be. I took them out carefully, hoping no one was listening to what I was doing, and I put them in a small box.

After that, I grabbed a lamp from the shelf where we kept the lanterns. When everything was ready, I took the box and the lamp outside and threw them in the backseat of my Volvo. Bella was in for quite a surprise.

"What was that all about?" Emmett asked, when I returned.

" _You're fidgeting, bro. All good?_ "

"Had to check the tank for gas, as I was planning to take Bella out tonight," I replied nonchalantly.

"Where do you wanna take me?"

"I'm not telling you, it's a surprise."

I flashed her a smile. She rose up from where she was standing, her hand reaching out to meet mine.

" _Oh, God, you're taking her to that spooky cabin, aren't you?_ " Emmett was graceful enough not to say it out loud.

I nodded a silent 'yes' in his direction. Years ago, when Emmett and I went hunting for some elks, we stumbled upon a cabin on our way home. Made of ebony and, strangely enough, with only one window, the cabin looked all but abandoned in the middle of the forest. Back then, I joked and told him that this is the perfect place for his escapades with Rosalie. His response was that Rose wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that.

"Should I change? Is this too much?" Bella asked.

Yes, it was too much, since we weren't going anywhere fancy that night. But no, I didn't want her to change, because she looked a thousand shades of tempting in that dress and I felt all sorts of greedy.

"No, you'll be just fine," I assured her. "Come on, we'll take the car."

"Be good, kids," Emmett smiled. "Don't hurt yourselves."

" _If that cabin still stands when you're finished, I'll be impressed_."

I rolled my eyes at him as we got out of the house. With each step Bella took, the skirt of the dress revealed the soft flesh of her right thigh, inviting me to take way too many peeks. I put one arm around her, pulling her closer to me while we walked to the car. I opened the door for her, watching as she slid inside without tripping on her stilettos, as she most likely would have done back if she was still human.

"You never cease to amaze me, Mrs. Cullen."

"Is that so?" she smiled.

As I started the car, Bella took out her contact lenses. They were almost transparent now.

"You haven't told me about your day," she said.

"There wasn't much to say," I admitted. "I went hunting with Jasper and Emmett. Well, they did, I watched."

"Still not thirsty?"

For blood, no. For her, yes.

"Still not. I can't say I miss it."

She nodded knowingly.

"But how were those mountain lions?" I asked.

"Definitely better than the mountain goats."

"Glad to know we share the same great taste."

We laughed at the novelty of our conversation and I was once again convinced that I was the luckiest man alive. Was it possible to get a taste of the forbidden fruit and not get kicked out of Heaven? God, I hoped yes.

Half an hour later, we were at the entrance of the forest where Emmett and I had found the ebony cabin. We had to hike a little, but it was an easy trail. Bella seemed confused.

"I thought you said I was dressed appropriately."

"Oh, that," I grinned. "Well, you are - at least for what I had in mind."

I grabbed the small box and the lamp from the backseat, watching as Bella's confusion grew stronger.

"What's in there?"

"Patience, my love. You will get your answer soon."

I hid the box in the back of my jeans.

"I think you might want to take your shoes off for the next part, so you don't ruin them - that is only if you don't want me to carry you, of course," I said.

"I'm not a clumsy human anymore, Edward, I'll do that myself."

I blinked and her shoes were no longer there. She was holding them in one hand.

"You lead the way."

It didn't take long at all to reach our destination. The cabin was still there, still abandoned, covered in more moss than I remembered. I looked at Bella, to catch her reaction.

"You know some places," she muttered.

"What?"

"You know some places - that's what you said when I asked you about what we were going to do back in Forks. So this is one of those places, right?"

"Yes. I know it is anything but fancy, but..."

"I hate fancy and you know that."

"Exactly."

She turned around, to stare in my eyes. Even in the darkness, her beauty was unbearable. I grazed her cheek with my fingers, still surprised when she didn't blush.

"I've missed you today," I admitted.

"I've missed you too, you have no idea… I love Alice, but she became a little too much at some point."

"I can imagine. Then again, she did pick _this_ dress..."

"You like it?"

"That's the understatement of the year."

She pressed her body on mine and a small wail escaped her lips when she felt how hard I was.

"See how much I _like_ it?"

Shamelessly, I grabbed her ass and grinded against the soft fabric that covered her body.

"Put your shoes back on," I ordered softly, my hand still cupping her left buttock.

"Why?"

"Because it turns me on to see you wearing them," I answered simply.

She pulled away, biting her lip, and did as I told.

"Any other requests?"

"Plenty, love. Close your eyes."

Once again, she listened to me. I turned on the lamp and I stepped towards the cabin, trying the door. When it didn't move, I forced it out of its hinges. It made a weeping noise and I propped it against the outside wall, so it didn't fall.

"Now I want you to come inside with me. But don't open your eyes."

She stepped with confidence, not needing any guidance, but I kept one hand on her waist regardless. I let the lamp rest on the floor, from where it enveloped the inside of the cabin in weird patterns of light and shadow, revealing a double bed with a dusty mattress in a corner and a desk that looked very much collapsable in the other. In the back of the room, there was a door, which most likely led to a bathroom. Part of me wanted to know more about whoever had inhabited that place and whatever reason had made them leave.

The other part ached like crazy to possess Bella.

I stood behind her, studying the graceful curvature of her hips. With her heels on, she was taller, but still much smaller than me, the top of her head barely surpassing my chin. But there was an obvious advantage to her new height. One that I only began to appreciate then, as I was standing behind her: I didn't have to bend down to push my hard member on her ass.

"Tell me something now," I said, pressing against her.

"What do you want to know?"

My right hand found its way to her neck and grabbed it gently, holding her still.

"I want to know about all that lingerie you bought."

She held her breath.

"When did you…"

"Alice tried to hide it, but her thoughts couldn't."

I squeezed the base of her neck, before moving my hand further down, to her clavicle. Bella's shallow breaths awakened every fibre in my body, making me painfully aware of how much I needed her. Even in vampire form, she still had the same drug-like effect on me.

"When will I get to see you in it?" I asked.

She moaned when she felt my hands sliding underneath the fabric of the dress, right on her plump breasts. I was more than pleased to find that she wasn't wearing a bra. She didn't need one anyway. However, I wasn't sure if I could keep my teasing any longer.

"I-I don't know… Can I open my eyes yet?"

"Ah, wrong answer, my love - and to answer your question, no, you can not," I whispered, allowing my lips to roam on the side of her neck and inhaling its splendid fragrance.

I let go of her breasts, so that I could grab the box from the back of my jeans. I opened it, and the chains rustled menacingly when I took them out.

"What is that?" Bella asked.

I let my actions do the talking, as I grabbed her wrists tightly with one hand and I started to twist the chains around them with the other. Bella gasped when she realized what was going on. Months ago, I had mentioned in passing that I would love to tie her up and please her for hours. Back then, she begged me to do it, but I felt it was only safe to enjoy this particular fantasy when she was a vampire as well.

"Open your eyes," I said, turning her around so that she could face me.

She did. Her hands were tied up behind her back, up to her elbows.

"This is a surprise," she said.

"We've waited long enough for this, love. Remember how much you wanted it when you were human?"

"Oh, _that_ I remember. I got so wet back then, when you told me you wanted to do this..."

Impossible to forget.

"How about now?"

"Even more."

She bit her lip and it was the most carnal sight.

"You're so beautiful," I murmured, getting lost in the red pools of her eyes. "I want you naked."

Alice was going to hate me for this, but I had no choice. With Bella's hands tied up, there was only one way to get her out of her dress. I ripped it, starting from the slit on her leg and ending right on her cleavage. The dress fell down to the ground with a soft sound, and Bella remained still in front of me, wearing absolutely nothing but her cream-coloured heels.

"Oh, Bella..." I moaned when I realized she hadn't been wearing any underwear this whole time. This was even better than what I had imagined. I fell down on my knees in front of her, using my hands to part her legs and look at her. She was dripping wet, glistening in the warm light of the lamp. With no underwear to catch it, the liquid of her arousal had managed to get on the inside of her thighs.

"Alice said that underwear would ruin the lining of the dress," she whispered, her tone bashful.

I was unable to speak in front of such splendour. It was impossible to resist any further, so I reached out to kiss her between her legs. Her entire body quivered when she felt my lips there. This was usually the time when she grabbed my hair, but she could no longer do that.

"Oh, Edward..." this was the only thing she could do as I gave it my all to please her: moan my name and give in to all the overwhelming sensations. Again and again and again.

Her clitoris was pulsing like crazy and, in her extreme state of arousal, it only took a couple more flicks of my tongue to send her down spiraling. She came fast and strong, begging me for more before her orgasm was even finished. She didn't have to, because my tongue was already working hard on her clitoris again. This time, I let two fingers slide inside her warm opening and I began moving them up and down.

"Please, Edward… I want _you_ inside," she managed between her delightful whimpers.

"We're a little greedy, love, aren't we?" I chuckled.

I picked up my pace, inserting one more finger.

"This isn't pleasing you, Bella?" I asked, my lips pressed to her clitoris.

I laughed darkly. She got wetter.

"It is...Oh, God, Edward, it is, but..." she wasn't able to finish her sentence.

"This isn't enough for you?" I insisted, before letting my tongue circle her clitoris.

"Oh, it is, please..."

"Then you will come again," I demanded. "Right now. Let go, my love."

Her next orgasm was accompanied by a loud scream on her part. It made my erection tense up, reminding me of how much I wanted to fill her up. She was begging me to do so, her voice so desperate that it sounded like she was crying.

"Okay, on your knees, Bella," I commanded.

She obliged immediately. I went behind her, grabbing her hips, unzipping my jeans and letting my member graze her ass.

"Do you feel how hard I am for you?"

"Yes, Edward..." the words came out like a purr. "Please, please, I want you..."

I gave her a light spanking, before telling her to spread her legs more, to have better access. Now that she couldn't use her elbows to prop herself into a more comfortable position, I knew I had to offer her some support. With one hand draped around her chest and another tangled in her hair, I entered her body.

The roar that ripped from my chest upon feeling her warm wet walls surrounding me sounded animalistic. I pushed hard and deep, with a movement so rough that I would have hurt her to the point of bleeding if she was still human. But now that she wasn't, all that she could feel was pure delight as she took in my every inch.

I had barely had the chance to push a few times when I felt her walls contracting around me violently and her whole body trembling.

"Coming already, my love?" I asked, not once stopping, my voice obviously pleased. "Mmmmm, you insatiable little thing..."

She groaned and came undone as I continued to move. I didn't offer her the chance to recover. I pulled her hair, revealing her appetizing neck, and I bit hard. That's when I lost it and began pumping like a maniac. My release came soon and it was everything I had hoped for. My venom gushed inside Bella in waves, hitting her cervix, flowing down to her folds and on to the wooden floor.

"God, Bella, I don't know what you're doing to me," I blurted out, still inside of her.

And I truly couldn't comprehend how she could bring me to orgasm, yet make me feel like I still needed more of her. It was unnatural. Her very existence was a drug.

"Do it again, Edward..."

"Yes," I agreed, moving in and out. "But this time on your beautiful face."

She made an irresistible noise of approval when she heard my idea. I got out of her and stood up, so that I could stay in front of her. She looked at me with pleading eyes, as I grabbed my erection with one hand. I let the other hand trace the contour of her lips, before letting my index finger slip inside her mouth.

"Ready?" I asked, starting to rub up and down my length in front of her eyes.

She nodded a silent 'yes', watching me and sucking on my finger.

Lots of thoughts were roaming through my mind at that moment, but one was more powerful than any other: if there was a Heaven out there, this was the closest I was ever going to get to it.

* * *

**If you have any thoughts - small or big, positive or negative - about this chapter, they are more than welcome :).**


	6. Torturing

At some point, Bella broke out of the chains. I had known from the beginning that it wasn't impossible for her, but the chains still held their own better than I expected. As soon as she was free, she made sure to penalize me for teasing her like I did - although I am not sure if sucking me and bringing me to the edge over and over again, before finally letting me spill my venom in her mouth for her to swallow could be considered much of a punishment.

It took us two full days to actually stop and have a conversation.

"If I knew that it would be like this, I would have turned you way sooner," my voice was hoarse, having just finished.

"God knows how many times I've asked you."

"Should've listened to you."

I held her tighter, listening to the sound of her breathing slowly getting back to regular.

"I'm glad you don't have to hold back anymore," she whispered.

"Me too. I didn't realize until recently how much I was missing out on when it came to being physical with you. The thing is... I can't seem to get enough of you."

"And that's a problem how?"

"Not a problem at all. It is now my full-time job to please you until you can't take it anymore, Mrs. Cullen."

"You might have to work over-hours if you think that is ever going to happen."

"Anything for you."

We laughed and she curled up closer to my chest. In that moment, nothing could have brought me greater joy than holding her in my arms. Our embraces held the same magic as they did when I used to sneak up into her bedroom, before we got married.

Back then, I would wait in her bed as she showered, allowing myself to get lost in fantasies of one day joining her under that hot stream of water. She always came back dressed in her soft pajamas and smelling amazing. I held her close to me as we spoke with gentle whispers, as our kisses danced on the verge of turning into more, as I stopped unwillingly before they did, then as she fell slowly into the land of dreams.

"You know, there's something I haven't had the chance to tell you," she muttered, pulling me from my daydream.

My jaw automatically clenched, not sure what to expect.

"What is that?"

She hesitated, but responded anyway:

"I did talk to Charlie over the phone while I was away."

 _Don't get mad_. I ordered myself to keep calm. I had no reason not to. I was aware that she wanted to see him one last time, despite the risks. But the news still caught me unprepared. Her plan could expose her and put her in danger - and that was exactly what I was trying to avoid with all my being. If she lost her control for a second or if Charlie got too suspicious…

I couldn't allow my mind to explore the possibilities.

"Oh, you did?" my voice was empty of any nuance.

"Yes, I told him we came back from our trip to Europe."

Ah, the trip to Europe - the excuse I had served to poor Charlie before I went to Alaska to make love to his daughter, drink her blood and change her into an immortal being. I even told him that we were going to visit some isolated village, where there would be no reception, so that he wouldn't expect any calls from us.

Some son-in-law I was.

"And what did he say?"

"He seemed… worried. He wanted to know if we'd had fun."

"And did we?"

"I told him we hiked a lot," she grimaced.

"Very convincing."

She laughed, her face hidden in the nape of my neck. But there was an edge to her laugh, that was impossible not to notice.

"Is there something more?" I asked cautiously.

"Well…"

In moments like these, I needed access to her thoughts more than anything. It was so terribly unfair to be able to read the thoughts of everyone else around me, but not the thoughts of my beloved - the only thoughts that mattered to me.

"Bella?"

"Well... He was hoping I could visit him one of these days."

I froze.

"We are not having this conversation," my response came fast.

"Yes, we are," she insisted.

"It's too dangerous."

"I did just fine at the mall."

I tried to maintain an even tone:

"You keep your distance from the people at the mall and you don't hug the people at the mall - and most importantly, they can't suspect anything, since they haven't known you since the day you were born."

She looked at me with a fierceful glare.

"You've agreed to this, Edward. You've agreed to let me see him before we go."

I was unable to suppress my growl.

"Yes, but I was hoping you would be more reasonable and wait at least a full month before seeing Charlie."

"You're all gushing about my self control and how abnormally good it is," she pointed out, her voice raising an octave. "And I've run out of excuses for my dad."

"I haven't."

I was going to tell him whatever he needed to hear if that meant protecting her.

"Edward, you're not being fair right now," she complained and stood up. "Let's go home and see what Carlisle thinks about this."

Bella looked around, searching the room for her dress. She picked it up from the floor, where it had fallen when I ripped it. It was obviously unwearable, but she still made the hilarious effort to put it back on. She tried to knot two pieces together, but no matter what she did, her breasts kept on popping out of her makeshift dress.

"This is how you want to show up to our house?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"Do you have any better ideas? I'm not the one who ripped it."

Her anger was now amusing. I stood up and went to her.

"Bella," I grabbed her wrists in one hand, to stop her from fumbling further with her dress. I undid the knot she made with the other, exposing her. "I will give you my shirt on the way home. As soon as we arrive, I'll ask Alice to bring you something to wear."

She snorted, without looking at me.

"We can have this discussion some other time," I said.

"Or we can have it now," she mumbled.

"We're not here to fight, love."

"I'm not fighting with you, I'm merely stating facts."

She finally raised her eyes to look at me. The anger was still there, although not as powerful as I had expected. We didn't have to do that now - arguing could wait.

"I think we can hit pause on that for now," I said, taking her face in my hands.

Her pupils dilated when she saw me getting closer, but she still made a last-resort effort:

"Just so you know, I am not doing this your way."

Oh, to hell with this! I pulled her face towards mine, crushing my lips to hers. She moaned under the pressure of my kiss and surrounded me with her arms. I ripped the rest of the dress to get rid of it and lifted her body up, so that she could wrap her legs around me.

"You never do, Bella," I said harshly when I pulled away to look into her eyes. "Why would you now?"

"Edward..." her voice was pleading.

She was rubbing up and down against my length, allowing me to feel how wet she was. I didn't think too much when I took her to the other side of the room and propped her on the unstable table. To my surprise, it didn't fall.

She opened her legs wide - as if I needed any more incentives. The next second I was deep inside her body. The next minute the table was no longer there. The next hour the discussion about Charlie vanished from my memory. The next day we had to stop when Alice called.

"Hi, Alice," I tried to keep a steady breathing pattern when I answered, seeing that Bella had no intention to take a break from pleasing me with her mouth.

"Hi, I am sorry to interrupt you."

Bella looked up at me with curious eyes. She didn't look away, not even once, as her mouth slid further down my length, until my tip hit the deepest spot in her throat. I grabbed a fistful of her hair, trying hard not to moan.

I wanted to speak, but I knew that if I opened my mouth right then, a lot of inappropriate sounds would have come out instead of words.

"Something happened, Edward, otherwise you know I wouldn't have called," she said apologetically.

"Tell me," I managed, somehow not being able to be as worried as Alice's voice sounded.

The pause on the other hand allowed me to let out a deep sigh when Bella's tongue found its way to my testicles. I wanted to hang up the phone and come in her mouth more than anything.

"I don't know if Bella told you about that phone call she had... She did call him on a whim, when she was in the dressing room and it was too late for me to..."

"Alice," I interrupted her. "What is it?"

A neverending pause. Bella stopping.

"Charlie is here."

My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I was unable to respond. I barely noticed that Bella was no longer on her knees in front of me. I could hear a faint whizzing on Alice's end, but I couldn't focus on it.

"He wants to see Bella."

"I am afraid he can't," I managed, after another pause.

"He is upset. And worried. His moods are driving Jasper insane actually."

I shouldn't have been surprised that Charlie was upset. It had been a week and a half since Bella's transformation and we didn't call or text him - well, that was until Bella decided to go rogue at the mall. As it turned out, our delay caused more harm than good.

"He is not leaving," she said. "He has actually been here for three hours."

"Three hours? God, Alice, and you're only calling me now?"

"He is with Carlisle now. They've been talking for a while, but I am not kidding: he is set on waiting as long as he has to."

The mental slaps I was giving myself were useless, but I felt I deserved them anyway.

"Where does he think we are now?"

"I told him you left this morning for Port Angeles, to grab something to eat and visit the city."

I laughed darkly.

"Listen, I thought this would discourage him from being this patient," Alice told me, her voice a little irritated. "Apparently it didn't. We've tried everything and we are not kicking him out - that's if you want Esme to ever talk to us again."

"Alice, I understand, but… it is too soon..."

"We are leaving in a month anyway," she countered. "This was bound to happen sooner rather than later anyway."

This didn't help me at all - not many things would have, to be honest, maybe with one exception:

"Tell me what you saw."

Another annoying pause, filled with the same whizzing as before.

"Please," I added. "I need to know."

"Okay," she caved. "If I am right, he will get suspicious - I don't know how he wouldn't. He'll maybe wonder if Bella's sick, but he won't get far."

"And Bella?"

She knew what I meant.

"I think she'll be okay. She's had three mountain lions when we went hunting."

"Did you see anything in particular?"

"I swear I didn't. You'll see this soon."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm actually in my car, heading your way."

So that was the explanation for the constant wheezing sound on her end.

"Emmett told me about the cabin. I am bringing Bella a new pair of contacts - and a change of clothes," she said, her voice once again tinged with irritation.

Of course she saw _that_.

"I am sorry," I said.

"I don't think you are," she chuckled with obvious sarcasm.

"You're right, I'm not."

"You're lucky I bought back-ups for some of the clothes. I'll see you soon."

After hanging up, I finally looked at Bella again. She had been quiet throughout my entire conversation with Alice. She was now curled up on the bed, with a guilty expression on her face. She spoke before I did:

"This is all my fault, Edward, I am so sorry..."

"Don't do this, love," I said. "I'm not mad at you. It is what it is."

Bella didn't seem convinced, but there was no point in arguing further. I had a much more important thing to do now, before Alice got to us.

I grabbed my shirt from the floor and offered it to her.

"Come on, let's get you dressed before Alice shows up."

She accepted my shirt reluctantly and put it on. It was too big for her small frame - hilariously so. On her, it looked more like an ill-fitting dress.

"Now what?"

"Now it's time to remember what being human should look like, Bella."

"I've been one until recently, I don't think I need special training for that."

"I don't have much time to convince you why you're wrong here."

She mocked me with a childish frown, before saying:

"Okay. So?"

"Let's start with the basics."

Among the three of us, I had no idea who was more tense, but I was willing to bet Bella had it worse, as we stepped out of the car and onto the porch. She was probably going through all the tips Alice and I had told her. While I needed her to play her part well, in order not to raise too many suspicions, there was one thing that I needed her to remember more than anything.

"Bella," I said, taking her hand in mine. "Please don't forget to keep holding your breath. This is the key."

Having so little time on hand, Alice and I agreed that the safest way out for Bella was to simply not breathe at all. This shouldn't have been too hard, since she didn't actually need to do it. Of course, she still had to do so every once in a while, to have enough air to keep talking, but she would do so using her mouth only, to avoid the possibility of inhaling the scent of blood fully. I had also told her about not forgetting to blink and remembering to move her limbs every once in a while, but no other action was as important as the inaction of not breathing.

"Don't be afraid," I reminded her.

"I am fine, I promise."

She smiled softly, her eyes glistening behind the chocolate contact lenses.

" _Still the same visions, we should be all right,"_ Alice's thoughts were calming. We could deal with Charlie's suspicions, if that was all that was at stake. And if anything were to happen, I was going to pull Bella away just in time.

We climbed up the stairs, holding hands, with Alice walking closely behind us. I could hear the chatter between Charlie and Carlisle from upstairs. Carlisle was telling Charlie about the new house he bought in Cardiff. Charlie was genuinely interested - that much I could pick out from his blurry thoughts.

When we entered the living room, everyone else was there, with various expressions of distress on their faces. Emmett was the only one who didn't seem to feel a tremendous amount of worry.

"That shirt is all kinds of crumpled, bro," he said as soon as he saw me. "It might give your father-in-law a clue about what kind of fun you've had in 'Port Angeles'."

" _Oh, God..._ "

" _So not the time, dude…_ "

" _I might slap him so hard he won't know what hit him._ "

" _Is he for real?_ "

An avalanche of thoughts came upon me right after Emmett asked his question.

"Not the time to be your usual crass self, Em," I told him.

"Let him be, he deserves that much after all this," Rosalie hissed.

" _While you two were away and humping like rabbits, we've had to deal with Charlie and he is so not our problem, idiot_."

I ignored her and focused my attention on Jasper instead.

"Jazz, could you please stand by when Bella will be with Charlie?"

"Of course. So what's the plan?"

"We'll stay in the kitchen, since it's the closest to the living room," Alice informed him.

"And I will join you soon after, because I'm sure Charlie will need some time alone with his daughter," I explained. "But there will be no talking - we'll need to keep our guard up at all times, in case anything happens."

"Tell me how I can help," Esme said.

" _She is my daughter too, she needs me_."

"If you could please stay upstairs with Carlisle, just to keep close, I would be extremely grateful," I said.

"Of course."

"Guys, you really don't have to do this. It is… way too much," Bella uttered.

" _It really freaking is._ "

My eyes threw a million daggers towards Rosalie.

"Sweetie, we're your family, don't even worry about this," Esme assured her.

"I'll owe you one," Bella smiled.

"No need to. Rose and I will be around."

Rosalie frowned at Emmett upon hearing him, but didn't contradict him. From what I could pick up from her thoughts, they had a fight earlier about Charlie and it didn't go well. She didn't want to start another one.

"Okay, I'll go get Charlie then," Esme announced.

" _Good luck._ "

The next second, they all disappeared from the room, only Bella and I remaining. I held her hand tighter and raised it to my lips to kiss it.

"How do you feel, love?"

"Ready."

We listened as Esme told Charlie that we arrived and as he fumbled nervously to get out of the chair, thanking Carlisle for his patience. I couldn't access his stream of consciousness, but I could sense the lingering questions that roamed through his head: each one of them about Bella.

When Charlie and Carlisle got out of the office, I noticed Bella's body tensing up ever so slightly next to me. A quick check confirmed me that she was still not breathing.

"Bella, thank God!" Charlie's voice was a mix of relief and excitement, as soon as he saw his daughter.

He descended two stairs at a time. Bella offered him a reluctant 'hello' and I could tell by the way she was moving that she was trying to put into practice what Alice and I had taught her. The only problem was that she was trying to do it all at once - and the result was rather cartoonish.

" _He was worried sick, Edward,"_ Carlisle's mental voice resonated high above Charlie's low frequency of thoughts, before he went back to his office, followed by Esme.

"Edward," Charlie said, noticing my presence. "Nice to see you."

"Chief Swan, the pleasure is mine," I said.

He didn't try to hug her, to my relief. His scent ignited some smoldering flames in my throat - nothing too bad, it was still manageable, despite the fact that it had been more than a week since I had the immense pleasure of feeding from Bella. The scent of his blood had the very same sweetness of Bella's, although nowhere near as potent. It was a heavily diluted version - yet still better than almost any other human's blood.

It was a good thing that Bella was holding her breath.

"You look different," Charlie mumbled, as his eyes scoured Bella's face.

"Oh, Alice made me her Barbie doll this morning, before we left, and tried a few makeup tricks on me."

"Hm."

I didn't like 'hm'. 'Hm' wasn't the equivalent of 'oh, so that explains it!'. It could have meant a thousand things. But Charlie's mind was making so little noise that I couldn't, for the life of me, begin to understand that 'hm'.

"So you didn't call," he observed.

"I have to apologize for that myself, Charlie," I intervened. "We've been so caught up in our moving to Cardiff, that we didn't get the chance."

What a terrible lie. The only thing we had been caught up in was a questionable amount of sex.

"So I've been told. How was Port Angeles?" he asked.

"Better than the last time we've been there," I responded, looking him in the eyes as my mind automatically revived all the memories from the cabin in the woods: Bella tied up in chains... Bella screaming my name after having her ninth orgasm in a row... Bella dripping wet and pulsing on my tongue...

"We've found a great panini shop," she said innocently, just as the last remains of air left her lungs, her voice breaking towards the very end of her sentence.

"And the Fine Arts Center was pretty good, as well."

"Sounds good, sounds good..."

Charlie's eyes wandered around the room. Behind the thick glass of his mind, I could understand that he wanted me to leave. I didn't want to leave Bella alone, having to deal with this peculiar meeting all on her own. I didn't want to go to that damned kitchen, where I wasn't close enough to decipher Bella's moods and reactions. I didn't want to take so many risks.

But I had to.

"I'll go to grab a cup of coffee," I lied. "You want some?"

They nodded a 'no' in unison. Bella looked at me with cautious eyes. She inhaled slowly through her open lips.

"If you need me, you know where to find me, love," I said to her, too fast and too low for Charlie to hear.

I kissed her forehead and then, gathering all my will, left them alone.

Alice and Jasper were already in the kitchen, waiting. They didn't say a word when they saw me - we could not afford to get distracted. They watched me as I sat down on the chair that was closest to the exit. Unfortunately, their minds weren't as silent and I had to make a great effort to zone them out and focus on what went behind the kitchen, in the living room.

I could hear Bella and Charlie making themselves comfortable in the living room, making small talk about the weather. There was distress on Charlie's part, but he hid it well.

"Tell me more about Europe, Bells," he mumbled. "You barely told me anything over the phone."

"We went to a small village in Switzerland, as I told you," she said, her voice getting quieter as she was running out of air. "It was amazing, of course - way sunnier than Forks."

"Okay, and where did you stay?"

A sharp intake of air. I remained unmoved, watching Bella closely through her father's eyes. Her hands were closed into fists - but other than that, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

"They had a small motel in the center. You would have loved it."

I listened closer, calming down as Bella kept holding her breath.

"And how did all that hiking go, anyway?" he asked.

I ordered myself not to think about what our 'hiking' consisted of. It was not the time. Bella seemed unsure when she answered him:

"Better than expected, actually. I only got muscle fever after the third day."

For one reason or another, Charlie wasn't convinced at all in his mind, but he decided to let it drop.

"Carlisle told me more about your moving."

"Yes, we're supposed to leave in a few weeks."

"And you're sure about this, Bells?"

This must have caught my wife off-guard, because she made a longer than usual pause before speaking again:

"I guess I grew fond of Forks, but… I would say that yes, I am sure."

"It's an ocean apart, you know?"

"Of course, that's why they have planes for, dad."

Her sarcasm didn't impress him. She used the time he was trying to find his next words in her benefit, taking another breath of air through her lips.

"It feels too sudden though," he said. "Last winter we were still discussing colleges and now..."

"I am taking a gap year, dad. We've been through this before."

He sighed deeply, his thoughts a mix of worry and anger.

"All the kids who take a gap year end up not going to college at all."

"Then I'll be the exception."

"Carlisle told me that none of his kids are taking a gap year."

The pause that followed was tense. Charlie's pulse went up and his blood got more fragrant. Bella was still holding her breath, but she could certainly hear the erratic song of his heart calling out for her. I looked at Alice.

" _She really is fine. You know I'd see if anything were to happen._ "

But no amount of knowledge could ease up my worry in that moment.

"Listen, I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you this, but someone has to," Charlie began, stuttering along the way.

His thoughts took a different direction, one that was aimed, suddenly, at me.

"Are you doing this whole thing for yourself or for Edward?"

"Dad..."

"Answer me."

"It's more complicated than that."

Bella was right. She had told me before that she didn't really want to leave Forks yet, because the familiarity brought her content. She wanted a year for herself, in which her only worry would be adapting to her new lifestyle. At the same time, she knew full well that we had to leave Forks behind, one way or another, so that her change couldn't attract much speculation among all the folks in town who knew her.

But how could she ever explain these things to Charlie?

"I can keep up."

"Dad, I need time for myself," Bella murmured carefully. "All my life I've played it safe, helping mom out with all of her responsibilities and getting good grades. Paying bills and cooking. I _need_ this break."

This left her with no more air once again. Another round of deep inhaling.

"But why do I have a feeling there is something you are not telling me?"

"What could there possibly be that I am not telling you? You want to hear that I am doing this whole moving thing for Edward, but I can't give you that, because it wouldn't be the truth."

He remained silent, his mind taking in her words and trying to decide whether to believe her or not.

"I still think you're indulging his wishes more than you realize, Bells."

"Well, I can't help it if that's what you think. He is my husband and I would go to the end of the Earth and back for him. But this is not about him."

For the first time since they began talking, I smiled. I wanted to run to the living room and kiss her ardently. I heard Jasper chuckle in the background.

"Sometimes you're too stubborn for your own good, Bells."

I couldn't have agreed more with him.

"I hope that one year from now, I won't hear that you have a kid or something. That would mean kissing college goodbye for good."

"Dad, I wouldn't worry about that."

I tried not to laugh this time. If we weren't completely frozen and if I had the ability to get Bella pregnant, I was pretty sure that we would have had a football team worth of kids by the time we would have reached our thirties, since it was basically impossible to keep our hands off of each other. But that wasn't going to happen.

Back when I was still trying to convince Bella to remain human, I used to bring this argument to the table on a daily basis: that if I turn her, she will never ever be able to have a kid. I didn't believe her when she said she didn't want kids - after all, how many 18 year old humans do? - and told her that she will change her mind at some point in the future. It wasn't until she told me that all her life she felt like a mother to Renée and that she no longer wanted to feel that way towards anyone else that I understood: my Bella wasn't meant to be a mother. And this was a good thing for us, because I was aware that my own selfishness would've never allowed me to share her with anyone else.

"I hope so, because I don't want to become one of those young grandpas," Charlie said. "Will you at least come visit every now and then?"

"I will try."

That was the least she could promise him.

I heard her standing up from the armchair.

"Guess I've outstayed my welcome," he said, rising up as well.

Bella giggled and the sound threw Charlie off - he could tell that something was different, but he could not possibly understand what it was. I had barely noticed that she had inhaled once again.

"Come by the house before you leave, Bells."

"Of course."

They stepped towards the front door, before Bella called my name. I reminded myself to keep a human rhythm when I got out of the kitchen and walked up to them. Charlie's face was a mask of parental angst when he saw me.

"My dad was leaving and I thought you might want to say goodbye," she said.

"Chief Swan," I said. "Come by anytime."

He nodded 'yes', but deep down he felt uneasy.

"I'll see you around, kids. Be good."

We shook hands and he shivered upon feeling my cold touch. Then, just as he was walking out of the house, he turned around. Before I could realize it, his arms were already around Bella, grabbing her into a tight hug. I watched in horror as the shock of his gesture caught her unprepared. Her eyes widened and, out of habit, she breathed in through her nose.

The growl in her chest was too subtle for Charlie to hear, but it was as loud as a plane crash to my ears. It was the growl of a predator that had got too close to the prey.

" _Oh, no, no, no!_ " these were the only thoughts Alice managed to have in the millisecond it took her to arrive from the kitchen to where we were standing.

"I am so sorry to interrupt, guys," she said with the most playful voice, despite her inner dread. "I made a whole mess in the kitchen trying to heat up some oil and I really need your help, Bella."

Alice grabbed Bella away with force. For a brief second, I could see the mad look in her eyes when Alice took her away, guiding her to the kitchen. Charlie frowned, his mind trying to understand what had just happened.

"Alice is a disaster in the kitchen," I explained. "She always does these things."

I could hear loud sounds in the kitchen and Alice's soft voice growling 'Be good!'.

"Hm."

Another 'hm', this time followed by the low echo of his thoughts. Charlie was a smart man. He didn't believe our charade.

"I am glad you dropped by, Chief Swan," I said, my anxiety going through the roof.

"You take good care of my daughter. Understood?"

"It is my lifelong mission to do so, sir."

We didn't shake hands again. As soon as he got into his car, I rushed to the kitchen. I was welcomed by the sight of Bella sitting quietly on a chair, with Alice and Esme in front of her, holding her hands. Jasper was standing close to them, working his magic to help Bella relax. Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie were right next to him.

"Is everything all right, sweetheart?" I asked Bella, as I went to her and allowed my fingers to run through her hair - a simple gesture, but it had always had a calming effect on her.

" _She's feeling guilty._ "

"I don't know what came over me," she whispered.

"He just took you by surprise, that's all," Alice said.

" _Not her fault,"_ Esme's mental voice was assertive.

"I know, but still… I was so close to hurting him..."

"Bella, it is never easy to get so close to a human and not get triggered," I said, trying to interrupt whatever violent scenario was going through her head. "Even for us."

She had to understand this. She knew how hard it had been for me to get close to her when she was human, how long it had taken me to even touch her face without panicking.

"You don't have to feel guilty," Carlisle said. "You have to remember that you're still a newborn."

"But I was fine at the mall, I thought..."

"You've kept a safe distance from humans there, sweetie," Esme reminded her.

" _This pity party is taking too long,"_ Rosalie thought.

"You're still adapting, my love," I said. "No one's blaming you."

"And believe it or not, Bella, you're actually doing better than any of us expected you to - and better than most newborns, for what it's worth," Carlisle pointed out.

"She's a miracle," Rosalie's voice was tainted with bitter sarcasm.

"Do me a favour and shut up, Rose," I uttered.

" _Dude, she's dealing with her own stuff,"_ Emmett defended her.

" _I don't even know why I'm wasting my time here. I don't have to watch you all pamper her with kind words after she almost lost it._ "

She got out of the room before I had the chance to reply to her thoughts.

"She'll come to her senses," Esme muttered.

Bella looked down, her pouty lips twisting in a grimace.

"Okay, if we're gonna stay here and sulk all day, I'm hopping on the next plane to Cardiff before any of you does," Emmett announced. "Let's do something."

"Do you have anything particular in mind?" Jasper smiled.

"Now that Bella and Edward are both here - and before they leave again to do the devil's tango for God knows how many days - I propose to you this: an honest race. No tricks, no headstarts, no nothing."

"Already forgot the pain of the last loss, Em?" I asked, smirking.

"Go to hell, dear brother."

"You know, that actually sounds fun," Bella said. "I've been wanting to do this."

"Let's see what you are made of, sis."

Bella smiled and I couldn't help but do the same. I couldn't wait to see her defeat not only me, but everyone else as well. She needed a win, after what had just happened.

"Any particular route you prefer?" Carlisle asked.

"Sol Duc River to Crescent Lake, what do you think?"

"I think Bella's going to make you cry harder than I did when you will lose," I told him.

" _Ah, that's got to burn,"_ Jasper thought.

Without thinking too much, Emmett grabbed a plate from the kitchen counter and threw it at me. The plate crashed against my chest, breaking into dozens of small pieces.

"Em," Esme scolded him. "Behave yourself!"

"Very mature," I added.

"It. Is. On," he smiled. "Come on, let's go outside to find a place to start."

Everyone followed him outside, laughing and making bets about the three finalists. Bella seemed to be everyone's favourite. Only her and I remained in the kitchen. Her cinnabar-like eyes scoured my face.

"You've got any tips for me before we go out there?"

I bent down, to get closer to her face.

"Yes. Don't look behind - if Emmett's there, he will try to distract you."

She smiled and I closed the small distance between us with a kiss. Her seraphic taste made me lose it in less than a few seconds, as usual. I grabbed her, lifting her from the chair and positioning her on the counter. My lips trailed off to discover her neck.

"Edward, we're being waited for..."

"I know," I smiled. "Let them wait a little."

Her hands traced the muscles on my back, sending waves of pure pleasure to my core. The air soon became thick with the scent of her arousal.

"Can we… go somewhere tonight? Please?"

"I was hoping you would ask," I murmured.

"And I was hoping you wouldn't make us wait like idiots so that you two can have sex in the kitchen!" Emmett shouted from outside.

I rolled my eyes and Bella quickly got out of my grip and slid her feet to the floor.

"I think we need to go."

I sighed and tried to reposition my erection, so that it wouldn't be so obvious.

"We'll finish this tonight," I promised her.

"Are you telling me where we're going this time?"

"Somewhere special."

"Any clues?"

"Not a chance," I grinned.

I had to make a few urgent phone calls to set my plan into motion, but she didn't have to know that.

"You're always keeping me on my toes," she said. "We'll have all night, right?"

"Of course, love. And all of tomorrow."

"Hmmm, that sounds about perfect..."

I leaned down to feel the silky skin of her cheek with my lips.

"The benefit of working over hours," I told her, a smile hidden in my voice, before disappearing out the door.


	7. Crashing

"Edward Cullen, you did not rent a whole movie theater just to get in my pants!"

Bella's face was full of genuine shock as she stepped down the hallway. We were in Port Angeles, at one of the oldest movie theaters in the city. It was 'Best of '90s' weekend.

"Don't be ridiculous, love," I said. "I can do that on my own just fine."

She rolled her eyes. If I was being honest with myself, her reaction wasn't exactly a surprise. In fact, it was rather predictable. I had expected her to be scandalized - but I also knew that she would forget about it sooner or later.

That afternoon, after she had won the race against us all, I called the theater to ask if they had any free halls. Despite the fact that it was one of the first cinemas in the city, it wasn't as popular as some of the newer concoctions of modern cinematography, such as the 3-D movie theaters, so most of their halls were empty. The woman on the other end of the phone was flabbergasted when I told her I wanted to rent a whole hall.

They had a small selection of movies from which they told me I could choose. Between the usual rom-coms and the over-the-top comedies of the '90s, there wasn't much of a choice. Thankfully, they also had 'Forrest Gump' on the list, and I went with that, since it was the most reasonable option. I knew that Bella had seen it once, when she was around 11 or 12, so I figured she didn't remember much.

Alice got to play dress up again - to Bella's despair and to my delight. This time, she chose a dark burgundy dress for her, made out of an impossibly thin fabric. It was tight-fitting, wrapping perfectly around Bella's soft curves, yet it covered almost every inch of her skin up to her knees, leaving the rest up for my imagination.

"We could have gone back to that cabin, you know," she said. "I really liked it there."

"And we will go back there. But I wanted to take you out on a proper date tonight."

She sighed, right when two men walked out of the theater's bathroom, a few feet away from us. They immediately noticed the way her dress was tightly embracing her faultless figure and their minds went wild in an instant, their thoughts too loud for comfort:

" _What a piece of ass..._ "

" _Too bad she's taken_."

" _Man, I'd fuck her so hard she'd beg me to stop."_

" _Seriously tappable though_..."

" _I'd give it to her even in her sleep if I were him._ "

" _Fuck, I'm hard_."

My entire body tensed up, the same way it did before I launched myself to attack when I was hunting. Those animals had no right to look at my wife - or, frankly, any other woman - that way. She wasn't theirs to stare at and fantasize about. And it simply wasn't Bella's fault that she looked so enticing. I felt the powerful urge to rip their heads off, but I had to remind myself that I had no real reason to do that. They weren't the first, nor the last human males with such a foul mind.

Bella noticed that my grip on her hand was ten times tighter than before, so she stopped and asked me:

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"I'd just heard what those vile rascals were thinking," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Is it that bad?"

"You have no idea."

"Now I wanna know, so tell me."

Of course she wanted to know - my ever-curious Bella. I should have just shut up.

"Bella..."

"Please?"

I groaned, knowing that she wasn't going to let it slide.

"Okay, they think that you are 'seriously tappable'."

She bit her lip and I could tell that she was trying not to laugh. I continued, to get it over with:

"And they wanted to 'fuck you hard' and 'give it to you in your sleep' or something along those lines," it felt like torture to recite their thoughts back to her.

A small giggle escaped her lips. I wasn't prepared for that, nor for her next question:

"Do _you_ want that?"

"Do I want what?"

"You know…"

She looked away, the same way she did when she tried to hide her blushing from me when she was human. My mind immediately drew the connection between her vague question and her sudden bashfulness.

"You're asking me if _I_ want to fuck you hard, Bella?" I said, almost amused at the direction our conversation took.

Her glance was still lost in the distance when she nodded a silent 'yes', so I grabbed her chin with my hand and forced her to look up, right into my eyes.

"It is a crass way of putting it, but if you must know… yes, I do want to fuck you hard, my love. I want to do that right now and in every waking moment, actually."

My words - although she did ask for them - shocked her. They weren't my usual choice when it came to expressing my desire for her, but in that moment, I couldn't see any reason not to use them more often, if it meant I got to savour the amusing, if not completely arousing, sight of a hot and bothered Bella. She closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"Hmmm, shying away?" I teased. "I thought you wanted to know."

"I am not shying away, it's just that... after hearing you say this, I have no idea how I'll be able to go in there and actually concentrate on the movie," she whispered.

"You will try," I smiled.

I put one arm on her shoulder and guided her inside the hall. It was dimly-lit and completely empty.

"Where do you want us to sit?"

She looked around and she gestured towards some seats that were placed towards the back of the room.

"Third row down," she said. "That gives you the best view."

I let her lead the way, watching her buttocks move under her tight dress as she walked up the stairs.

"I've never been in an empty theater until now," she said, sitting down. "It is kind of beautiful."

I positioned myself in the seat next to her.

"I've never done this either, but I have to agree."

When the trailers started, the lights went off completely, leaving us in total darkness. The last time I had been in a movie theater was years ago, when Emmett dragged me to watch the premiere of 'Star Wars: Attack of the Clones' with him. Back then, the room was full of noisy people and the air saturated with the scent of buttery popcorn, cologne and sweat. Right now, the only fragrance filling up my nose was that of Bella's: the sweet lavender heaven I had grown accustomed to.

I made it through the trailers without jumping on her like a fired up teenager would have. But she made things deliberately hard for me, when she decided that it was time to adjust her stockings right when the movie began. She lifted the skirt of her dress a few inches, allowing me to see the ethereal lace on her thighs, that was - _oh, my God_ \- set in place with the thin straps of a garter belt. I could not believe my eyes.

On the screen, a young Elvis Presley was playing guitar in front of Forrest Gump, but I couldn't really get into the scene. Electricity surged between us, just like it did a lifetime ago, when we stood next to each other in the biology class, as an educational movie played out in front of our eyes. I could remember all too clearly how impossible it had been to concentrate on the movie, how powerful the urge to touch her had felt - and how damning it had been not to indulge that impulse. What I felt now was much stronger and it would have driven my past self insane.

I let go of her hand and moved my own hand up her skirt and on her thigh, right where the delicate lace was ending.

"Interesting choice of undergarments," I murmured, my fingers exploring the frontier between her stockings and her skin.

"I figured you might think so."

"I like it very much."

 _Too much_ , if I was being honest.

She parted her legs ever so slightly, to give me better access. I traced small circles on her skin, watching her reactions. Her eyes were still glued to the screen, but they were disconcerted. Resistance was futile - we both knew that, but it turned me on to see her trying nonetheless.

Forrest was now running from his bullies on the screen and it was a beautiful scene, but I couldn't bring myself to pay the attention it deserved. Bella's legs quivered lightly when she felt my hand move up, to the rim of her underwear. The flimsy rim was wet.

"You are soaking, my love."

"You tend to have that effect on me," she replied.

I smiled and I pushed the silk of her underwear between her small folds. She squeaked when she felt the material pressing at her entrance. I leaned down and muttered in her ear:

"I think you would have a much, much better view if you would sit on my lap."

Bella looked behind, trying to make sure that there was no one left in the projection room. When she saw that nobody was there, she stood up and came in front of me. I laid my hands on her hips and pulled her body down, so that I could be her new chair.

"You're so hard," she purred with delight, grinding her ass against my stiff member, teasing me without mercy.

I chuckled.

"I usually am whenever you're around."

Her hips began rocking back and forth and I wondered if she had any idea how incredibly desirable she was. I lifted the skirt of her dress with care - this time, I couldn't afford any accidents. We had to walk out of the movie theater at some point and it wouldn't have been appropriate to do that naked.

The sight of her buttocks, ample and round, barely covered by a thong, came as a blessing. I grabbed them and started to knead their captivating flesh. She moaned when I did, and started moving against my erection with more force.

"Edward, I don't know how long I can take this..."

I loved her impatience. I removed my right hand from her ass and moved it in front, right between her legs. With a quick motion, I ripped her underwear away, shoving the remains in the back pocket of my jeans - a keepsake.

"Oh, love, I know, I know..." I murmured, my lips close to her ear lobe.

I thrust two fingers inside her, to ease up her desire.

"Mmmmm, you're so ready to take me in," I said appreciatively, sliding my fingers up and down slowly. "You like it when I do this?"

Her panting and spasms answered my question before she managed to say:

"Yes, don't stop!"

I squeezed her ass hard, not once stopping the motion of my hand between her legs.

"You want me to go faster?" I inquired.

"Please do..."

I happily obliged and her moans became more desperate.

"You're close," I uttered, mindful of the way her body began to contract around my fingers.

"Almost there..."

"Good. I want you to hold it and come when I'm inside you, Bella. Can you do that for me?"

She let out a small cry.

"I… really don't know if I can, Edward..."

"Try."

I slowed down my fingers, allowing her to gain back some sensibility. She leaned back against me, grabbing the armchair and breathing heavily. Soon enough, I was back to pushing in and out of her at full speed.

"Edward, please!"

"Hold it, love," I hissed. "Hold it for me."

She wriggled in my arms, trying hard not to come. I couldn't exactly explain it, but having this kind of control over her body brought me the most exquisite gratification - almost better than having an orgasm. In these moments, I felt more aware than ever that she was all mine, completely unshareable.

And as egotistical as it sounded, overpowering her when she was at her most vulnerable made me realize that no other man, human or vampire, could have ever understood the delicate intricacies of her body the way that I did. I wasn't the only one under a spell, always ready to worship her body and constantly craving more: she was under my spell just the same.

I could tell that a couple more thrusts would have been enough to push her into the flames of an orgasm and I slowed down, before stopping completely. I took out my fingers and she made a disapproving noise when I did. My fingers were now glistening, her liquid arousal coating them entirely. Carefully, I shoved my index finger inside my mouth, collecting every last drop of her sap. A groan broke from my throat when I felt her taste on my tongue: if there could ever be something as remotely delicious as her blood was, it was this.

I licked my index finger clean and, a few seconds later, I raised up my middle finger, that was still glazed in her excitement, to her lips.

"Open your mouth, Bella," I told her. "I want you to see how incredibly good you taste, why I can never get enough when I go down on you..."

Her lips parted in obedience, to make room for my finger. I felt her tongue swishing around and it made me think of how she did the very same thing that morning on my shaft, right when Alice called. It was impossible to prolong the waiting any longer without it becoming actual torture. I wanted her.

I unzipped my jeans with my free hand and impatiently guided myself towards her entrance. She lifted her hips in the air, allowing me to position myself right where I wanted to be. Her wetness on my tip felt paradisiacal. With my finger still in her mouth, she lowered her body until our bodies became one.

The apocalypse could have come in that moment, I wouldn't have cared. I pushed myself as deep as I could inside her body - and when there was no more room to go further, I pushed a little more. Bella let go of my finger, so that she could moan as loudly as she needed to. We were lucky that the sound from the movie was blaring.

"God, you're so big!" she sobbed helplessly, as she moved up and down my erection.

Her words aroused my animalistic side, because as soon as she uttered them, I grabbed the auburn locks that were cascading down her back in one fist and I pulled.

"I want to feel you come," I growled.

Bella increased her pace and I helped her, grabbing her with my free hand and guiding her hips in an insane dance of up-and-down.

"This is it, yes," I encouraged her, realizing that I was also close. "You feel so good... keep doing that, Bella..."

We were near the edge of the abyss, our bodies moving with extreme fervour. I had no idea what was going on on the screen in front of us, all that I could see and hear was Bella. Bella calling out my name. Bella taking me in as if there was no tomorrow. Bella's scent in the back of my nose, driving me crazy. Bella's long hair in my fist.

Before long, we fell into the most intense orgasm. Her body began shaking and she screamed, while I spilled my venom in her, filling her up until it began to spill over. Bella didn't hesitate to ride the aftershock of her orgasm and kept moving, her muscles tightening around me and coming once again.

I remained unmoved, with my eyes closed, the euphoria in my chest unbelievable. Our shared climax had left me completely speechless.

"You're way too good at this," Bella whispered.

"Mmmmm," was all I could manage.

"If I hadn't known you so well, I would've been convinced that you've had years and years of practice."

I let out a lazy laugh.

"Just a solid amount of practice in your last months of being human, love."

"The sex back then was nothing compared to _this_."

I agreed. There was too much holding back in her human days.

"And to think that I was ever worried that you might be too overwhelmed by thirst to even think about sex..."

"I'm glad you were wrong," she said, her voice cocky.

We laughed, and the slight movement sent unexpected vibrations in our interconnected bodies. Bella's laugh ended in a gasp. Her hips rotated, my shaft reaching new places inside of her.

"More?" I asked, and my breathing was suddenly back to irregular.

"More," she agreed.

Bella ended up not having any idea whatsoever about what happened in 'Forrest Gump'. She rode me for the entire duration of the movie. When the credits began rolling, we got up from the seat we had shared and tried to arrange our clothes a bit, so that it wouldn't be so obvious that we had spent the last two hours doing something that was, for all intents and purposes, illegal.

On the drive back to Forks, I took advantage of her lack of underwear and spent my time with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand between her legs, rubbing circles on her clitoris. She didn't even notice that I drove past the speed limit for most of the road.

Back in Forks, we decided to go to our meadow to continue our activities - after all, we hadn't been there at all since her transformation. It was the first cloudless night of that summer and the stars shone with all their power, as if to compensate for all the times when they remained hidden. Under their hazy light, the flowers looked almost translucent and extraterrestrial.

But the charm of the meadow at night paled in comparison to Bella's beauty the next morning, when the first rays of sun found their way through the canopy of leaves and on to her skin. It was the first time either of us got to see her under the sunlight.

"Can you see that?" she asked happily, jumping up from the grass and pirouetting her naked body in front of me.

She was a different creature, with the sun reflecting off each particle of her skin and making it look like liquid diamonds. The way the light was dancing on her skin made her look out-of-this-world beautiful. In that moment, I understood for the very first time why Bella never found me repulsive under the sun. She couldn't possibly have, if her thoughts had been anything like mine.

"You're perfect," I told her.

She kept on twisting around, so that I could see her from every possible angle. She was magnificent and the novelty of her appearance was all the more arousing, so I didn't think too much when I hurled myself to her, taking her in my arms and pinning her on the ground, all in the span of one second.

"Mrs. Cullen, you're too irresistible for your own good," I told her, before going down on her.

Days passed quickly in our meadow. The only measure of time we had was the sun that kept on rising and setting - or our phones, if we would have made an effort to check them. We only stopped when Bella told me she felt kind of thirsty.

"Only kind of?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, only kind of."

"You're a very strange newborn."

"I am a perfectly normal newborn, thank you very much," she pouted.

"No, you're absolutely weird," I countered, smiling. "But I love you all the more for this."

"Damn, you've got a way with your words..."

She chuckled before telling me:

"I know you know this, but I love you too, Edward."

I leaned down to press my lips gently on hers, lifting her from the grass at the same time. It wasn't as sunny today, but her skin still glistened whenever a stray ray of sun touched it.

"So what does the lady want to eat?"

"I'm in the mood for something light."

"How do some herbivores sound?"

"Delicious."

Bella retrieved her dress from the ground and put it back on. Unfortunately, the rest of her lingerie set had had a worse fate and a much shorter lifespan. She picked up what once used to be her stockings - the ones that made me lose it in the movie theater - and held them ostentatiously in front of me.

"Seriously?" she said, staring at the abnormal pattern of their tearing.

"They were in my way," I shrugged, as I put my pants back on.

She shook her head and grabbed her bra from the grass - or what had remained of it.

"What did this bra ever do to you?"

"It shouldn't have been there in the first place, love."

Bella found the remains of her garter belt as well and put them in the small purse she had, along with the rest of her ruined lingerie.

"Ready to take down those herbivores, beautiful?" I queried.

"Bring them," she said and vanished from the meadow before my very eyes.

ghts were roaming through my mind at that moment, but one was more powerful than any other: if there was a Heaven out there, this was the closest I was ever going to get to it.

* * *

The following week passed like a breeze. Bella was getting better and better at being a newborn, constantly amazing us. Every so often, Emmett found new ways in which he could challenge her physical strength - and I loved seeing her win each time. It offered me great comebacks for all his jokes regarding my overly active sex life.

Carlisle and I finally had the big talk about my red eyes, the one that we had silently postponed. He didn't want many explanations from me - mainly because he understood what lied behind my motivations before I got the chance to tell him. But there was one thing that he had been dying to know and he didn't shy away from telling me out loud, although I had heard it already in his mind:

"Now, son, why did you ever try to hide this from me?"

"I suppose I didn't want to disappoint you," I responded, my tone guilty. "I know I did decades ago when I left and I… changed my diet."

The memories of my rebellion, when I decided that I could play God and determine who got to live and who didn't, weren't my favourite. But they were a part of me nonetheless - a part of me that served as a reminder of who I used to be and who I actually was.

"That was different, Edward, and you know that."

"I know your stance on drinking human blood, Carlisle," I tried to beat around the bush.

" _Why are you avoiding this?_ "

"You were afraid that I might have tried to talk you out of it, weren't you?"

I sighed. He knew me too well.

"Essentially, yes."

" _I wouldn't have. It had always been your choice._ "

"Yes, of course, but… you have to know I won't do this again, dad. It was the last time for me."

And that wasn't a lie. I knew, even back when I was caught in the frenzy of drinking her blood, that no other human could ever have the same effect, the same overbearing power on me. It was pointless to even imagine that.

"I know."

" _But you do need to hunt though. You look exhausted and hungry_."

He wasn't the only one who thought so, as Esme kept bugging me about this for days. Not long after our discussion, I went to a mirror to check. Carlisle was right, as usual: my eyes were dark as coal, and the black circles underneath them didn't do me any favours. My long nights - and sometimes days - spent with Bella away from our family managed to drain me of the energy her blood had offered me.

In the living room, Alice was trying some braiding techniques on my wife's hair. As she plaited intricate patterns, Bella stood perfectly still, engrossed in the world of the book in her hands, "Jane Eyre". A few feet away from them, Emmett was playing some video game on the TV.

"I'm going hunting," I announced.

"About freaking time, bro, you look like a ghost," Emmett said, as his fingers pushed erratically on the buttons of the joystick.

"Hey, he looks fine!" Bella protested, her eyes not moving from the book.

"Maybe to you."

Alice was so concentrated on her work, that she didn't let our banter disrupt her thoughts.

"That's what disappearing for days on end will get you, dude," Emmett voiced his thoughts, proud of his innuendo.

"So is anyone interested in going?" I asked, ignoring his remark.

Alice sighed and lifted her eyes from Bella's hair.

"I'll have to disappoint you, but the two of us are going to be busy," she said.

" _It's been almost two weeks since Bella and I went shopping and I still have so much more to add to her wardrobe_."

"We're leaving soon and I want Bella to have a full wardrobe before we do."

"Alice, my closet is more than full! I'm pretty sure it can't possibly take a new influx of clothes."

"Not true."

I growled.

" _You know she's well-fed and I had no particular visions lately, so please don't begin!_ "

"Bella, we've had this discussion," Alice complained. "Don't start again..."

"Okay, while these two are fighting, why don't we get started?" Emmett asked.

He kept pushing the buttons on the joystick, beating his virtual opponent.

" _Tell me what you had in mind_."

"I wouldn't mind a few bears," I told him.

" _Nice! To hell with all bears_."

I laughed. Emmett's everlasting vendetta against bears never ceased to amuse me.

"Just let me finish this sucker up and I'm good to go," he said.

"Do your thing, Em."

I let him finish his business and went to sit next to Bella and Alice.

"So I take it you're not free tonight?" I asked Bella, letting one hand rest on her knee.

She lifted her eyes from the book to look at me.

"It would seem so."

"Too bad, I had some plans with you."

"What plans?"

"There was a meteor shower tonight, I was hoping we would go see that."

Emmett began laughing hysterically.

"She's no longer in high school, Edward," he said, still laughing. "You'll have to be a bit more creative if you want to get down and dirty."

I didn't look when I grabbed the nearest object and threw it at him. It turned out to be a vase that broke into tens of pieces when it crashed against his head.

" _Come on, how old are you to fall for Emmett's jokes?_ "

Bella shook her head in his direction. He didn't even flinch.

"Can I take you up on that offer after we come back?" she murmured towards me, her eyes glistening.

"Of course."

I leaned down to press my palm on her cheek. A smile lightened her face when I did that.

"Okay, I'm ready to maul some bears," Emmett announced.

Bella giggled and I reached out to kiss her goodbye.

"I can't wait to see you again," I said, my lips pressed to hers.

"Counting the minutes," she replied, her sweet breath overwhelming me.

"And I'm counting the days until you two stop behaving like literal teenagers," Emmett slipped casually into our conversation.

Alice rolled her eyes in despair and nudged me with her leg.

"Go already! You two are ruining our girl-bonding afternoon," she whined.

I laughed and ruffled her spiky hair playfully.

"Have fun with that."

"You too!" she said and stuck her tongue out at me, like a kid.

Emmett and I ventured far into the heart of the mountains, where bears were plenty. In the hours that followed, we easily took down a family-worth of bears. He got full after the second one. I got full after the sixth.

Upon feeling the animal's blood on my tongue for the first time after so long, I groaned - not a groan of pleasure. The blood, thick and tangy, rolled down my throat in waves. As I fed, my mind went to where I knew it would and where I hoped it wouldn't: the day I got to drank from Bella. The memory of her blood, so velvety and hot, so rich and aromatic, held me in its arms and kept me there as a prisoner.

I wanted to savour that supreme heavenly taste again. The fact that I could no longer do that infuriated me to my very core. The blood that was flooding my mouth now had no voluptuousness. It was vulgar and lacking the sweetness and the floral notes I had adored so much in Bella's blood. In the past I thought I was like a vegetarian feeding on tofu, but now I felt more like a vegetarian feeding on nothing but stale dry bread.

The first bear brought me no satisfaction - just like the second, just like the third. The hunting itself turned into a nightmare when I realized that I was unable to fulfill my needs - even more when it struck me that I had brought the disaster upon myself. If only I would have been strong enough to resist the carnal urge to drink Bella's blood back when I still had a choice, this wouldn't have happened. But then again, not doing that didn't feel like an option back then, when I was basically begging her to let me.

I went through each animal with rage and violence they did not deserve. The more I drank, the more frustrated I got and the more frustrated I got, the more I drank - it was a vicious cycle. At some point, I did feel full, but not in the least fulfilled, so I continued to drink mindlessly.

If it wouldn't have been for Emmett, I might have gone on with my rampage for days. While I was feeding on the sixth bear, searching for something that wasn't there, I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't you want to take a break?" he asked with an unusually calm voice.

Lost in my own personal hell, I had lost track of his thoughts and he managed to startle me - something that almost never happened. My lips were pressed to the animal's fur when I answered him:

"I'm good."

"You don't seem to be, I've never seen you like this."

" _Why don't we talk?_ "

"All's fine, Em."

He sighed.

" _You're really giving me no choice_."

Using all his force and taking advantage of the state I was in, Emmett grabbed me and threw me several feet away. He braced himself to be hit back, but to his surprise, I remained on the ground.

" _What the hell?_ "

I looked between the vines in front of me, into the darkness of the forest. My nose picked up the scents the wind blew in my direction, but to no avail. There was nothing there for me.

"Are you having a breakdown of sorts?" Emmett asked, cautiously approaching me.

"I'm not sure," I admitted.

He paused, confused.

" _Okay, I wasn't prepared for this._ "

"Did something… trigger you or what?"

"It's just..." - I struggled to find my words - "it's not her blood, you know? No matter how much I take, it feels pointless. Am I... broken?"

" _Pretty sure you can't break a vampire."_

"Well, it sure as hell feels like you can right now."

He sat beside me with a deep sigh.

"You're just not over that whole experience, bro."

"I should be. It's been weeks. And it was all fine until today."

"Well, who gets to decide these kinds of things anyway? It might as well take months."

"Very helpful."

He opened his mouth to tell me an uplifting joke when my phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket, amazed that there was reception that far up the mountain.

"It's Alice," I said, looking at the screen.

"Calling for fashion advice, I bet."

"Very funny, but the mall is closed around this time, so I think they might be back," I said, before responding. "Hi, Alice!"

On the other end, there was a low unidentifiable hum. It took Alice a couple of seconds to say 'hi' back.

"Are you back already?" I asked.

"Not exactly… I don't know if there's a proper way to say this, but something happened."

I could feel Emmett's eyes burn through my skull while I waited for Alice to continue.

"There's been an accident close to Calawah River Park."

"What accident?"

A small whimper reverberated from her end - but I could tell it wasn't hers.

"It happened so fast, I had no chance to see it, Edward, I swear..."

"Alice..." I didn't recognize my voice.

"It was a car crash, with a lot of blood. I had no idea that..."

"Is Bella with you?" I interrupted her, my patience as thin as a thread.

The pause that followed took forever before she decided to respond:

"Yes, she's here."

"How is she doing?"

Another impossible pause.

"That's why I called. Bella… she lost it."

"What do you mean she lost it?"

The edge in my voice was sharp, intertwining with Alice's sigh into a hideously prophetic sound.

"Well… she killed everybody, Edward," Alice finally answered. "And there are witnesses."

And just like that, my entire world came crashing to the ground.

* * *

 **Phew, this chapter was a ride to write, I swear. And I say that in the best possible way.** **If you got this far - wow, thank you for taking the time! I know my chapters tend to be freaking long.**

 **So what are your thoughts on this chapter/on the story so far?** **I would absolutely love to know what you're thinking!**


	8. Loading

**One of my lovely readers and reviewers from FFN asked me if there's a Facebook group for updates regarding this story. At the moment she asked, the answer was 'no'. Meanwhile, I got around to making it - so if you want to get sneak peeks of future chapters, early heads-ups regarding updates, songs that fit the moods of the chapters and more fun stuff, you are more than welcome to join the Facebook Group „After Nightfall: Updates, sneak peeks, music and discussions".**

* * *

_This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening._

A thousand thoughts cascaded through my mind, but none as loud as this. I couldn't see the forest as I ran. The world surrounding me was a warped blob and I wasn't fast enough to pierce through its walls. I could hear Emmett's thoughts screaming at me from miles away, as he tried to catch up with me, but I ignored them.

My mind couldn't wrap itself around the idea that as I was going through those bears like a man possessed, Bella had done the same - only not with bears, but with humans. No, there must have been a misunderstanding, that was the only possible explanation.

Alice must have worded it badly. It wouldn't be the first time she did that. Or they were playing a prank on me. A decidedly bad prank, but a prank nonetheless.

_This is not happening._

While my mind went through soothing possibilities, my feet were barely touching the ground as I ran.

Bella was fine. She was probably giggling with Alice, waiting for my reaction. I was going to laugh with them eventually. Emmett was definitely in on the joke, that was why he was screaming at the top of his mental lungs " _Don't do something stupid, Edward!_ ".

My phone kept ringing in my pocket all throughout the few minutes it took me to arrive at the Calawah River Park. I never picked it up again.

I heard Alice's thoughts over the murmur of the river before smelling the blood.

" _It happened too fast… How could I have seen it? I must find them… He's going to kill me._ "

Then, a gust of wind brought to me all the scents that I had foolishly hoped not to smell. Blood. Oxidized flesh. Musty asphalt. Broken bones. Death. And above all these, the sweetest lavender on the planet.

 _This is not happening_.

I felt an unfamiliar weakness in my body when I got closer and saw Bella crouched on the wet pavement, in the darkness. Her hands were draped around her waist in a protective pose - and next to her, I could descry a pile of five bodies, their members tangled in weird positions and their eyes open, their unmoving stares holding memories of a horrifying death. One of the bodies looked particularly fragile and small: a child. There was barely any blood left in any of them and their necks were broken at an unusual angle.

"Edward, I am so very sorry, it is all my fault," Alice cried, coming up to me. "I tried to stop her, but she had already broken their necks and I..."

"Alice, please," I hissed, unable to deal with both her verbal and mental chaos.

Bella didn't look at me, not for a second. I noticed that her clothes were, surprisingly enough, not splattered with blood.

" _I simply didn't foresee it. Their car slid off the road and crashed and there was so much blood. I swear I tried to stop her._ "

"Tell me where the others are," I demanded, as I went to Bella.

"The others?"

"You said there are witnesses. Where are they?"

My voice was unnaturally calm, despite the horror that was unravelling inside me. I reached for Bella's hand, but she didn't move.

"They left."

"Who were they?"

"There was Elijah Cochran, from the fire station. He was with his wife, but he didn't stop."

One disaster after another. A single human witnessing this was more than enough, but two? I knew the consequence of this, but I wasn't prepared to deal with that thought yet. Not when my Bella was standing on the pavement, with her mind lost someplace where I had no access to.

"I am sure he didn't see her face, Edward," Alice tried to convince me.

" _Man, what the actual hell happened here?_ "

Emmett's thoughts were loud when he finally arrived, but still not as deafening as Alice's. I needed silence more than anything in that moment.

" _They drove by, but I know they saw._ "

"Alice, some context?" Emmett pleaded.

I couldn't take this madness anymore. Alice offered Emmett a much needed explanation, but her thoughts kept screaming at me from the back of her mind. She felt guilty. She felt unforgivable. She felt powerless. As for me, I had no time for that nonsense. I fell on my knees in front of Bella and took her face in my hands.

"Bella, you need to look at me."

She didn't. Her face was a blank canvas, brightened up only by the deep scarlet of her eyes.

" _I think she's in shock, she hasn't talked to me either. You know how it is._ "

"Bella, please, just look at me."

No response. Emmett was going through a series of slurs in his head, considering all the possible scenarios for our immediate future.

" _Oh, my… We really need to do something about the car and the bodies. It's late, but someone could pass by anytime._ "

Alice vocalized her thoughts and Emmett immediately agreed to help her.

"Love, please..." my voice cracked, watching the still waters of Bella's eyes, unable to find the smallest ripple.

"You two need to go home. Take my car. Em and I will take care of the rest."

" _We're in deep trouble, bro._ "

And I could not find the strength in me to contradict him, because he was right: we truly were.

Bella didn't say a word to me on the way home. Her eyes remained fixated on the road as I kept on trying to talk to her. Each one of my efforts was welcomed by deafening quietness.

When we arrived, of course everybody knew what had happened, before we even got the chance to step inside the house. After Bella had burned the last remains of my sanity with her silence, the sudden clamour of mental voices threw me off.

" _The pack in La Push will find out about this._ "

" _Any news about the witnesses?_ "

" _It's not safe in here._ "

" _I wonder how long we have until the Volturi find out about the witnesses._ "

" _Thanks for bringing trouble back home, Edward._ "

Esme was the first to come to us. In a second, her arms wrapped around me and Bella, much to Rosalie's dismay.

" _I'm so sorry this happened. We'll find a way. We always do._ "

 _We'll find a way_. I tried to hold on to that thought, but it was next to impossible to find hope. In moments like these, I could understand that Esme's gift, as silent and underrated as it was, was inestimable in value. She didn't foster the seeds of a new-found grudge, like Rosalie. She didn't feel completely out of her wheelhouse, like Jasper. She simply wanted to show Bella that she was still loved.

"Sweetheart, why don't you come sit down for a bit?" she offered, taking Bella's hand in hers.

"Yes," she murmured - her first word after a very long time. Her voice held an unspoken edge, sounding less like a hummingbird and more like a scared sparrow.

"Jazz, care to join us, dear?" Esme asked and he immediately obliged, knowing full well that his power was not a caprice, but a necessity in that moment.

Esme took Bella away from me and they disappeared into the kitchen, along with Jasper. My nerves felt like a chord stretched to its capacity - and Rosalie's thoughts didn't make it any better.

" _If you weren't the idiot that you are, this wouldn't have happened. You were too trusting with her and you were wrong, as usual. None of us deserve what is next, but you do._ "

"Carlisle," I said, in a bid to break away from her poisonous mind. "What's going to happen?"

" _You already know, son. We can't stay here._ "

"As if you had to ask, Edward," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Rose," my father murmured.

"No, Carlisle, we all know where this is going and I'm not going to beat around the bush for his sake - or hers," she said under her breath. "Witnesses mean trouble. If the word gets out, the Volturi will not hesitate to come after us."

" _She's right, but it doesn't have to be like this._ "

"What are our options?"

"The pack will soon find out about this - and the treaty is clear on the consequences of killing humans."

To hell with that treaty.

"Not to mention what happens if the Volturi find out about our witnesses," he added.

" _We die because you couldn't keep her in place, moron._ "

"Then we need to do something about the witnesses," I uttered.

"Why don't we kill them as well and call it a day?" Rosalie suggested.

"You are not helping, Rose," I growled.

" _She's just afraid, you have to understand her._ "

"We could bribe them," I suggested. "Humans tend to have a weakness when money is involved."

" _Wow, aren't you a genius?_ "

Carlisle pondered over that option. Bribery was beyond his morals - and in other circumstances, it would've been beyond mine, as well. But when Bella's safety was at play, I couldn't care less about what was right and what was wrong. I wanted her safe: from the wolves, from the Volturi, from the perils of being a newborn.

"We can try that," he finally decided. "But bribery is still no guarantee that they will keep their silence. In any case, we need to leave tonight. We can't risk it with the pack. The treaty is clear: we either leave on our own before they get to us, or they take care of us _._ "

"You're right, I will go get packing then."

"Rosalie, I suggest you do the same," Carlisle said.

She huffed and sent me a telepathic wave of foul words, before she turned around on her pointy heels to go upstairs.

"Where are we going?"

" _The Denalis, for the moment. We have to keep a low profile. Cardiff is out of the question now._ "

"That's crazy, we can't put them in danger, in case the Volturi find out," I protested.

" _And we won't. They know about our treaty with the wolves. They'll understand this. We don't have to tell them about the two witnesses."_

I could sense the sadness and guilt beneath his plan. Nobody hated lying more than Carlisle did. This was a case of lying by omission and with the final aim of protecting the Denalis, of course - but lying nonetheless. My father was abandoning everything for my sake and Bella's. And the most amazing thing about all that was that he didn't resent me or her for it. But what about the others? Why did they have to pay the price? And were they going to be as forgiving?

"You'd better hurry, Edward. News travels fast and the wolves are anything but forgiving."

" _And be strong - Bella needs you now more than ever._ "

I couldn't agree more. A few seconds later, I was in my and Bella's room. Her human scent still lingered in the sheets of the bed we used to share, almost like a stray ghost. It burned my lungs with its unbearable sweetness.

For a split second, I remembered my bear feast from earlier - and how disappointing it all was. Looking back on it, I felt the same kind of shame that a kid feels after throwing a tantrum. My problem not only paled in comparison to what was going on, but it also seemed awfully selfish.

I realized I was going through the motions as my hands grabbed random stuff and threw them in a suitcase. Downstairs, the low hum of Bella's and Esme's dialogue was unnerving:

"This is not the first time we do this, Bella."

"I know, but if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have to deal with this whole mess."

"Sweetie, mistakes are bound to happen."

"Not like this… And I don't know if Edward will ever forgive me. I know I won't forgive myself."

She thought I wasn't going to forgive her? That very notion was so nonsensical that I was surprised to even hear her say it. Once again, the way her mind worked left me dumbfounded.

The lives unfairly lost today to her thirst were a tragedy - that I could not deny. But I couldn't find any amount of rage in me that was targeted towards Bella. And surprisingly enough, not even towards Alice. Because truth be told, it wasn't their fault at all. I should have known better. I shouldn't have put all my trust in Alice's visions. I shouldn't have been so confident that Bella had everything under control just because she seemed unnaturally good at being a newborn. I should have gone with them to the mall - one pair of arms might have not been enough to stop Bella from going on a rampage, but two pairs might have been.

If anything, I was to blame for being too trusting.

"You're everything to Edward. I wouldn't worry about that right now," Esme told Bella.

She really was my everything. Did she understand that? I had told her these exact words for so many times - I could only hope that she actually listened to me.

Before long, I had packed two large suitcases with our clothes, our books and all of my CDs. As soon as I finished, I hurried to the kitchen. Esme and Jasper stood up from their chairs at the same time when they saw me.

" _She's really fragile right now. Only you know the best way to take care of her._ "

"We'll pack our stuff, so that everything is ready when Alice and Emmett get back," Jasper announced.

" _You know where to find me, if you need me, brother._ "

I thanked them and they disappeared out the door, leaving us alone. Bella looked incredibly small and uncharacteristically scared as she sat at the table. She looked as if she had been condemned to the gallows. Her eyes were studying me - a progress, but they were still avoiding my face.

"Bella, I think we need to talk."

"I really don't know what I can say right now."

Her voice was as dim as a whisper and it sparked a desperation within me that I didn't want to let out. I went up to her and kneeled, so that our faces could be at the same level.

"I know you think I won't be able to forgive you for what happened today, but that couldn't be farther from the truth."

"Don't say that... I deserve anything but your usual kindness right now."

My mind went through a thousand scenarios of how her train of logic might have led her to believe such a blasphemy.

"Please, be reasonable with me for a second," I begged.

"But I am!"

Her bottom lip quivered dangerously. I couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Bella, you are more important to me than my very own life. I just want you to be safe. Is that so hard to fathom? So impossible to understand?"

I couldn't resist the urge to let my fingers trace the contour of her face as I spoke. Her eyelids fluttered and closed upon my touch and a deep frown appeared between her eyebrows. I pressed my lips on the stubborn frown, hoping it would melt under my kiss and go away. It didn't.

"Tell me what you want me to do to make it better," I said, unable to stop myself from planting small kisses on every inch of her face - so much for hiding my desperation. "I will do anything, Bella, anything… just say the word."

"No, don't…" she whispered with a voice so broken that it killed me.

"Yes… yes… yes..." with each word I grabbed her tighter and pulled her closer to me, like a maniac. "I will not let you alone in this. If you go down, I go down with you."

Her chest was vibrating now and she was panting. No tears were falling, yet I knew: she was crying.

I pulled her from the chair and on to the floor where I was kneeled, to take her in my arms. We remained like this for what seemed like forever. Bella kept on crying, unable to shed any actual tears, and I kept on telling her how much I loved her again and again. This is how Alice found us when she got back.

" _It's done. No DNA left whatsoever. No news about the witnesses._ "

"We're going to bribe them," I said in response to her thoughts, still holding Bella in my arms.

"We'll send them an anonymous check first thing tomorrow. They're probably sleeping anyway, it's two A.M."

" _Everyone else is ready. At least Emmett has an excuse to put his pilot license into practice again now._ "

I nodded and stood up, lifting Bella from the floor as well.

"I'm so sorry I'm making you all do this," she whispered.

"Bella, we've been here before, don't worry," Alice said. "Come on now, we need to hurry. The suitcases are already in the car."

Crippled by the great unknown in front of us, we left the kitchen and headed to the door. With Bella's hand in mine and Alice by my side, I stepped outside our home in Forks for the last time and into the complete darkness of the woods.

It took me a great deal of power not to look back.

* * *

It was a miracle that we somehow didn't have a crash landing. Emmett hadn't piloted our private jet - or any other plane, for that matter - in years and it showed. We had a really turbulent flight, the kind that would make humans pass out from the extreme movements and the lack of oxygen. In retrospective, I should have been the one to do it.

Alice made sure to make a detour to the closest postal office and send an envelope with a $500.000 check to Elijah Cochran. She used her fake ID to do so - the one she had for emergency situations - and we could only hope for the best.

The Denalis' house hadn't changed one bit since the last time I visited them, back when Bella and I didn't even have our first conversation. When I first met her, the incredible scent emanating from her pores drove me so hopelessly wild that I had to evade the country to escape its flames.

Eleazar and Carmen were away to a secluded island to celebrate their anniversary, while Irina was in Seattle, with none other than Laurent, Victoria's and James' tag-along buddy. The news of their relationship took me by surprise. Laurent had expressed in the past his interest in our alternative lifestyle. As it turned out, it wasn't until a chance encounter with Irina that he decided to give it a fair shot.

The only ones left in the house were Tanya and Kate, who came to hug us as soon as they saw us stepping inside their yard. Tanya lingered a second too long when it came to hugging me and I pulled back as soon as I had heard her thoughts.

"It's so good to see you all again," she exclaimed. "And so good to finally meet Edward's mate!"

"This is my _wife_ , Bella," I said, dissatisfied with her use of the word 'mate' - of course Bella was my mate, but she was also so much more than that. "Love, these are our cousins I've been telling you about, Tanya and Kate."

"It is so nice to meet you," she said. "And thank you for letting us stay here."

"Oh, of course," Kate intervened. "We've all been there at some point or another - we know what it's like."

I loved the way Kate's mind worked. Her line of thoughts was as upfront as Emmett's. With her, what she spoke was exactly what she thought - no surprises, no hidden undertones. She was truly pleased to meet Bella - unlike Tanya, who, beneath her bubbly facade, felt a deep jealousy I had expected with dread.

The history of Tanya and me was anything but simple. We had known each other for decades and we always got along fine. Her wit was something I had always appreciated and it made for extremely interesting discussions whenever our paths crossed. She was beautiful, of course - the kind of beauty expected to be seen at the grand parties of the roaring 20's: delicate to the extreme, yet startlingly sly. But next to Bella, her beauty faded into oblivion. Unfortunately, Tanya's feelings for me went a little further than the ones of friendship and platonic endearment I felt for her.

Being the sexual creature that she was - this being the exact reason I used to jokingly refer to her as a 'succubus' - she never shied away from expressing her desire for me. She began with innocent flirting, a tactic that, in her experience, always worked on human men. When Tanya saw that it had no effect on me whatsoever, she went further.

Only she and I knew how many times she tried to orchestrate the perfect scenario that, in her mind, would have convinced me to give in and sleep with her. She even had a phase in which she wrote me long poetic letters, detailing all the ways in which she wanted me to possess her - only to be met with short cynical letters from me, in which I briefly described how I wasn't interested in any of that and how I would have preferred to remain friends instead.

And we remained friends, despite the awkwardness of her constantly trying to have sex with me. I ignored that part to the best of my abilities. But now, with my wife by my side, I was no longer willing to be so forgiving with Tanya's advances, had she tried any. And it wouldn't have surprised me if she did, given her explicit thoughts upon feeling my body pressed to hers when she hugged me. She had to learn about boundaries, one way or another.

Kate led me and Bella to what was going to be our room for the time being. It was spacious and the design was a tasteful mix of modernism and minimalism - something that contrasted greatly with the classic details of our home in Forks. The room had its own private bathroom, that was almost as vast as the bedroom itself.

As soon as we were alone, Bella began unpacking one of the suitcases. She rummaged through the stuff she found in it with a look of dismay on her face.

"Can I help you find something?" I asked.

"I was hoping to find something to wear - I hadn't changed since… well, you know."

"Of course."

I knew exactly where I had put her jeans and her cotton blouses. She seemed relieved when I handed them to her.

"Thank you, I'll go take a shower first."

She took her clothes off piece by piece, and I watched in awe, forgetting for a while about the chaos surrounding us.

"Just so you know, there are a thousand things I want to do to you right now," I said, leaning back on the armchair I was in and crossing my arms under my head, to get a better view of her.

"I am not sure this is such a good idea."

"This is always a good idea," I countered.

A sudden sadness darkened her features, but she turned around to go to the bathroom before I got to see more of it.

The first day at the Denalis' house had been weird. We tried to catch up with what each of us had been doing, but it felt extremely unnatural, given the circumstances. Bella oscillated between being friendly and being quiet throughout the day. Tanya and Kate were convinced that this weird behaviour was simply due to the fact that Bella had just killed five innocent humans and she felt guilty - I let them believe that, since they weren't completely wrong.

In the evening, news of a disappearing family broke for the first time on NBC. I took Bella out of the room as soon as I saw the headline on the screen, knowing that she didn't need to see that in the state that she was in.

" _Yeah, sheltering her from the consequences of her actions will do,"_ Rosalie's thoughts shouted after me.

And I knew that, in her malice, she had a point. But _not_ sheltering Bella enough in her first weeks as a newborn was the reason we were all here. I couldn't make the same mistake twice.

The next day, things didn't go any better. The missing family now had a name and a history. Melinda Wilson and Wayne Wilson used to be the proud owners of a local grocery shop in Sappho. They had three kids: two teenage daughters who were getting ready for college and a nine-year-old son. They were on their way to Forks to visit Melinda's mother, but they never made it to their destination. The rest of the story remained a question mark for the investigators, who couldn't understand how a family of five could disappear out of thin air in such a small town.

Kate - and even Tanya - tried to console Bella, telling her that these mistakes are inescapable, even to the most experienced vegetarian vampires. But neither of them knew that the stakes were much higher than any of us let on, given that we had two witnesses who, so far, had kept their silence.

Throughout this chaos, Charlie kept calling, unaware of the fact that we had left. He was caught up in helping the investigators, but that didn't prevent him from worrying about Bella. He insisted that we kept our outings to a minimum and it was easy to promise him that that wasn't going to be a problem. Renée called once or twice as well, but she was too absorbed in her own issues with Phil changing teams and having to move again to notice anything peculiar about Bella.

Each new day came with more sensationalized news regarding the Wilsons. Rumours about them being in debt and trying to flee the country were quick to appear. The story was gaining traction, getting picked up by more and more television stations. Their speculations were, of course, a far cry from the reality of what had happened. However, the sudden attention the whole case got didn't help us at all.

Bella and I didn't make love again. We were rarely alone - and when we weren't, she stopped our kisses before they turned into more, without much of an explanation, in a way that reminded me too much of our nights spent in her childhood room in Charlie's house. Tanya sensed a certain tension and quickly got back to her old ways. She didn't do anything at first, but kept sending me unwanted fantasies of her and me. She did this when I least expected it, convinced that she was helping me overcome what she thought was a sexual blockage. I tried to be a gentleman and ignored her, hoping that she would take the hint.

After the first week, Tanya found her much-wanted loophole when my family went hunting. She took advantage of Bella and Kate being deeply engrossed in a conversation about how newborns can learn to control their thirst and came to tell me:

"You've been down ever since you came here. Do you want to get some fresh air? Maybe build a snowman or something?"

"I was actually planning to take Bella for a walk in the forest," I lied immediately.

" _As you can see, my sister is kind of holding her prisoner right now._ "

"I am willing to wait."

"Come on, Edward, it's just a snowman."

She was hiding her intentions well. But it didn't matter, of course, because I knew her too well. Maybe this was my chance to set things straight with her for the last time.

I let out a sigh of annoyance and said:

"Fine, but keep in mind I don't have much time on hand."

" _Oh, I can be quick_."

I rolled my eyes and, without any kind of enthusiasm, followed her outside. We went to a nearby meadow, just a little higher up the mountain, where the snow was pristine and plenty. She began dancing around, in a calculated attempt to look charming. My mind immediately took me back to the last day Bella and I had spent in our meadow. The way she pirouetted in the sun like an angel was forever engraved in my brain, as a reminder of the last time we felt truly carefree.

"So how have you been, Edward? We didn't really have a chance to talk properly."

"No, we haven't. As you can see, I've had better days."

" _Clearly_."

She ran her hand through her strawberry-blonde locks and began to make a small pile of snow with the help of her boots.

"The last time you were here you weren't much better," she noticed.

"Just an unhappy coincidence."

"Maybe. I didn't expect you to be so… different, you know?"

"Different how?"

" _I don't know, I guess you've matured since the last time I saw you._ "

Her brain tried to find some way of bringing the discussion on the path she wanted it on - and it didn't take her long. In fact, I found it profoundly unladylike that she didn't at least try to drag it out a little. But I could understand why she wanted to cut straight to the chase: it was the first time I was away from Bella and she wasn't willing to waste any time.

"I must say I'm surprised though," Tanya uttered.

She let her mind finish her words for her: " _I had always been convinced that you will be this untouchable bachelor_."

"As it turns out, all I had to do was stumble upon Bella."

" _Of course._ "

Tanya was making progress with the base of her snowman, but I wasn't willing to offer her any help. I wanted to get it over with.

"And you're happy?"

I huffed.

"Of course I am, Tanya."

" _It's just that she seems so... distant. Is she always like this?_ "

"Don't be ridiculous. My wife has been through a lot and it is taking a toll on her."

"I'm sure of that. Although..."

" _I'm sure it is taking a toll on you as well. You're always the caretaker, but who takes care of you?_ "

She lifted her eyes from the snowman she was building to meet mine. Her pupils were dilated and I wanted to get out of there.

"Don't go there," I pleaded.

"Go where?"

She wasn't able to fake innocence too well.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I mean. You are smarter than this."

"I'm just playing with you, silly!"

She made a few steps in my direction.

"I am not playing games, Tanya - please, understand this."

She got closer, convinced that this was my way of teasing her. She put her palm on my chest, right where my unbeating heart was placed, just like she did so many times in the past.

" _It's always been a game with you and me_."

I took her wrist in my hand and removed it carefully.

"You are better than this," I murmured.

" _You've always been stubborn_."

"Don't mistake my lack of interest for stubbornness."

Her mind started to fog up with the frustration of being refused by me for the hundredth time, but she pushed further anyway:

"You must be a little curious."

"I can guarantee you that I am not."

She went back and forth between whether to kiss me and hope for the best or slap me and see what happens. In the end, she did neither.

"There's no other woman for me, Tanya. Bella is my everything. You must learn to leave the past behind. This truly is the last time I am telling you this."

Her glare was sorrowful, but I knew she would forget about it at some point. She went back to her snowman and changed the subject, in a bid to get over her embarrassment, but her shame continued to haunt her mentally, making our further conversations painfully awkward. We didn't linger much longer in the meadow and finally headed back to the house.

Bella was still talking to Kate and I was glad to see a lively spark in her eyes - whatever Kate had told her to ignite that spark, I was thankful.

"How did the snowman turn out?" Kate asked.

"Amazing," Tanya responded, as she hurried to her room.

" _I hope she didn't make a fool of herself, as usual._ "

"She's fine," I assured her.

Bella looked confused - I knew I owed her a few explanations.

"Can I steal Bella from you?"

"She's all yours, friend."

As Kate went after Tanya to ask her what happened, Bella and I went upstairs, to our bedroom. I closed the door behind us and watched as she climbed into the bed. After one week of painful abstinence, the sight of her laying on the mattress was too tempting, awakening hungers in me that could only be sedated in a certain way.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" she asked.

I sat down at the end of the bed, allowing my hand to rest on one of her calves.

"Yes. Tanya has always had a bit of a crush on me."

"Oh."

I felt the muscles underneath her skin tense up ever so slightly. It was the first time I was telling her this.

"Okay, that's not a surprise," she added. "What woman doesn't?"

"I never looked at her that way, of course - not even before I met you."

She raised her eyebrows and puckered her lips upon hearing that.

"But I guess she tried to shoot one last chance," I added.

Bella was definitely not pleased with what she was hearing - a new emotion altered her perfect features, one that hadn't bothered her before: jealousy. In a way that felt barren of any kind of logic, I felt a sudden wave of possessiveness towards her. It was as if my whole being wanted to let Bella know that there was no room in my mind or in my heart for someone else.

"Well, she is gorgeous," Bella said.

I tried not to laugh at the impossibility of ever finding another woman better than her in any way.

"That's quite an overstatement when I have you for comparison, my love."

Her lips curled in a pout and she looked irresistible. I leaned down over her, planting a kiss on her belly. This was the closest I had managed to get to her in the week that passed. Her fingers interlocked in my hair out of habit and I exhaled a satisfied breath on her skin.

"I told her I am not interested in anyone but my wife," I said, kissing my way to the bones of her hips.

"You told her that?"

"Yes," I said and traced a delicate line with my tongue from her right hip to right above the hem of her underwear. "My very beautiful wife, who has been teasing me all week."

"I'm… really sorry about that," she managed, out of breath.

"Don't be, I just want to understand why that is."

"Don't get me wrong, I want you more than anything, Edward, but..."

She gasped when she felt my teeth ripping the top part of her pants and underwear, to reveal her pubic bone.

"Go on," I encouraged her, going back to kissing her abdomen.

"I feel like… like I don't deserve this right now."

I scowled, but my lips couldn't get enough of the satin perfection of her skin, so I didn't make the effort to look up at her and show my disapproval.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous."

My hands grabbed her thighs to open them wider. Her scent left my mouth watering.

"I know you need this as much as I do," I muttered, planting soft kisses on her pubic bone.

She moaned and her eyes closed for a second.

"Oh, I do, but..."

My nose was now rubbing on the soft material of her underwear, feeling her wetness beyond it, craving to collect it all on my tongue.

"Let me taste you, love," I begged.

Another moan left her lips and it made me want to rip off her clothes completely. It was a torture a million times more scorching than being burned alive.

"It's been so long and I am aching to have you..."

I could almost hear the internal battle she was having with herself through her jagged breaths. I was seconds away from losing it when she pulled me up from between her legs, until our faces were aligned.

"I know you know how much I want you," she said.

It was an effort not to shut her mouth with a kiss, but I managed to contain myself.

"This isn't any easier for me - but how can I allow myself to be even slightly happy right now, when the TV reminds me everyday that I am, in fact, a murderer?"

"You're not a murderer," I grumbled.

"Yet I am, Edward. I've killed five innocent people."

I could not deny that. But I knew, deep down, that murderers killed for fun, just for the sake of it. Or out of spite. Often as a form of revenge. Victoria, for instance, used to be the epitome of a murderer.

My Bella wasn't like that. Her only fault was that she had surrendered herself to the most basic instinct of a vampire - that didn't make her evil.

"You didn't want to do this," I whispered.

"But that doesn't make it any better, does it? The fact that it was a slip up on my part won't bring the Wilsons back."

Undeniable - again.

"You're right, it won't," I said.

Defeated for the moment, I hid my face in the nape of her neck.

"I guess we've got some learning to do, love."

"You can say that again."

I pressed my lips on her neck, full of longing.

"We've got plenty of time," I told her.

At least it seemed like we did, as we laid there entangled in each other's arms. But for one reason or another, I felt the air slowly loading with the oracular calm before the storm.

* * *

**If you enjoyed this chapter, I would be beyond happy if you could let me know in the review section! If you didn't, that's cool too, just let me know, so that I can improve :).**


	9. Forgetting

**Hello, guys! Anyone else done with "Midnight Sun"? This book has been one intense rollercoaster of feelings and it left me completely heartbroken by the end - and I completely love it. Edward already was my favourite character in the Twilight universe, but now? Damn, I love his character even more! I could write an essay about this, but I know this is not why you're here for.**

**Posting a chapter in the midst of everyone reading "Midnight Sun" might not be my smartest decision so far, but here we go! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

The hate humans held towards Mondays never made much sense to me, although I had heard countless explanations for it throughout all the years I had been alive. But then that fateful Monday came and I realized that I hated Mondays just the same - maybe even more than the average human.

The house was quiet that day, with Kate and Tanya having gone hunting. Bella had been engrossed in reading 'Crime and Punishment' (the irony had not escaped me) ever since they left, while Alice was next to her, doodling dress designs and randomly going through the visions in her head.

Somewhere in the kitchen, Carlisle and Esme were discussing all the paperwork that needed to be done to separate ourselves from our obligations in Cardiff, while Emmett and Rosalie were upstairs, playing an updated, much more complex and much less logical version of chess.

As for me, I was standing next to Jasper on the sofa, waiting for the afternoon news journal to begin.

" _Are you all right?_ "

Jazz had made a habit out of checking up on me. My moods had been driving him crazy and I couldn't blame him for it. It took him every bit of concentration to envelop me in as much calm as he could.

"It's hard to say these days. Charlie called again today, you know?"

"Yes, I've heard something. And?"

"We talked for a while. He is worried about the accident. And of course he wants us to visit."

"Does he have any idea we left?"

"Not yet - he is convinced that we'll meet up with him one last time before going to Cardiff. But now that _that_ plan is out of the question, I really don't know..."

" _Poor man, he needs closure..._ "

"Sometimes a clean break is better than closure."

On the TV, the news journal had started. They were talking about a hurricane getting dangerously closer to the East Coast, after having wreaked havoc on some islands in the Atlantic.

" _Maybe we should've faked her funeral after all._ "

Before I could respond, the visuals on the TV changed and the news anchor began talking about the Wilsons. The search continued and for the first time in the last week and a half, the investigators declared that there might have been a homicide at play. I tried not to dwell on that - Alice and Emmett had done everything right and there was not a single incriminating thing left behind. There was no way the disappearance could have been traced back to us. However, I didn't know how much of my peace of mind came from me and how much from Jasper.

Later on that day, Bella was still reading, but now she was in my arms, my fingers playing mindlessly in her hair.

"You seem to really like that book," I noticed.

"Rodion's mind simply speaks to me."

"I wish I could say the same about your mind," I grumbled, not really hoping for a response.

She lifted her eyes from the book to look at me.

"Five minutes of _this,"_ \- she gestured towards her head - "and you would give anything to find the way out."

I laughed, ruffling her hair gently.

"Five minutes of that, Bella, and I would be the happiest man in the world."

I loved seeing the corners of her mouth lift up in a swaggering smile - she seemed happier today, as if she had found some unexpected serenity. I had no idea how long that would last, but I decided to cherish it while it was still there.

"I was thinking of maybe taking a walk later on," she said. "How does it sound?"

Like the first real chance to be completely alone with her in a while. I tried not to let my enthusiasm get the best of me.

"We haven't had one of those in a while, so it sounds absolutely perfect."

" _Not the only thing you haven't had in a while,"_ Emmett's thoughts shouted at me from upstairs and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

I was fine with waiting until Bella no longer felt so guilty that she couldn't allow herself the slightest shot at enjoying life. I could understand her grief. Back when I had my rebellious phase, I had to deal with the very same feelings after returning home to Carlisle. For months on end, I could barely look him in the eye while having a conversation. I allowed the guilt to macerate my brain, to consume my sanity, making no effort to resist it.

But as much as I could understand where Bella was coming from, I craved her worse than an addict craves his favourite drug. My hands were always on her, constantly finding excuses to hold her waist, to caress her hips, to trace the contour of her face, to pull her closer for a kiss. It didn't help that I could tell just by breathing her scent in how aroused she was as well.

And just as she was reaching out to me for a kiss, I heard it. A string of mental slurs from everyone else in the room traversed my mind in a second. Lost in my bubble with Bella, I hadn't paid much attention to the TV in the background. When I looked at the screen, Elijah Cochran was right there, surrounded by microphones.

"My wife wasn't puying much attention at the moment, as she was quite tired after the party, but I was, and I can confirm what I saw," he said, looking at one of the reporters. "There were two women and what seemed to be the Wilsons."

"Did you see them fighting?"

"No, I am pretty sure the Wilsons were dead by the time we passed by. One of the women was standing on top of them, crouched in a weird position."

"Why didn't you stop, mister Cochran?"

"It was pretty late and the whole scene seemed rather… aggressive. Supernatural almost. It was as if that woman standing on top was… I don't know, eating or something."

"Why are you coming forward with this story now?"

"It seemed like the right time. I was afraid to do it earlier."

"What made you change your mind?"

"My conscience, ma'am."

The frame then changed to a reporter making a summary of the case, leaving me completely speechless.

" _They must have received the check,"_ Alice thought. " _But what changed their minds? I'd seen them both accepting it before sending it to them… This makes no sense._ "

" _If the Volturi were keeping any kind of tabs on this story, we are officially screwed._ "

" _Thanks for this, Edward. This really is the icing on top of a very bad cake._ "

In the end, Carlisle was the one who turned off the TV and spoke first:

"This doesn't look too good for us."

"Damn right," Rosalie agreed.

"This investigation can't go on forever though," Esme said. "They will give it up eventually, since they won't find anything."

"That depends on how stubborn our witnesses are, my dear."

" _Their descriptions did us no favours,"_ Carlisle didn't voice this particular thought.

Among all that noise, all I could hear was Bella's silence. The quietness of her mind was loud and clear. She looked around the room and I couldn't tell if she was scared or angry. Or both.

"I still can't believe they hadn't accepted our offer..." Alice muttered.

"Did they even receive it?" Rosalie demanded.

Alice didn't respond at first. Her mind was unrolling the threads in the big clew of visions she had been having. I could see along with her the vivid ones, the ones that we were both all too familiar with: Elijah receiving the check and shutting up; Elijah deciding to send back the check; his wife finding it before him and questioning him about it, before agreeing to keep it.

It was there, at the very periphery of her mind, that I saw it: a blurry vision - transparent almost, too fragile to have caught her attention or mine when she first had it. It was Elijah, exiting his home and checking his mailbox. Finding nothing.

My eyes met Alice's in an instant and I saw there all the terror of my own.

"They never received it," she whispered, still looking at me.

_"As small as it was, how could I miss it?"_

"Alice, you have to keep an eye out for the Volturi," Carlisle said, unwilling to throw the blame on anyone. "They're keeping tabs on the few covens that exist - and I can imagine that such news can travel faster than we can control."

"I am on it."

The next hours felt like a prison. Between sneaking up on Alice's mind and trying to convince Bella that our family was - at least for the time being - safe, I didn't have much time to deal with my own thoughts. And when I did, I couldn't escape the torture chamber that was Rosalie's mind:

" _We're ruined. Completely ruined. And we wouldn't be if it weren't for her._ "

To be honest, it made for an interesting contrast to Esme's thoughts, that were so full of unending hope:

" _This is not the end of the world and we're going to be all right._ "

As the day came to an end, the tension grew thicker. Tanya and Kate had not returned - and maybe it was for the best. This way, we didn't have to pretend that we weren't in over our heads.

It was a little before midnight when that particular Monday became the worst in my existence.

I was trying to find some solace by playing the piano in the hallway. The music flew around me, weaving a sorrowful tapestry in the air. What began as Bella's lullaby quickly turned into something new and unnerving, that I did not recognize - but I kept on playing, discovering new sounds along the way, letting them encompass my conscience and rob me of my turmoil.

The song matured into a requiem for the peace I had lost - the peace I longed to get back. Then, as the notes grew into a taut crescendo, it happened.

My mind became one with Alice's without notice, rendering me unable to continue my melody. Her vision was so powerful, that the concrete reality suddenly felt like a collapsable illusion. The scene in front of my eyes was very different from the black and white keys that were no longer trembling under my fingers. I was in a dark room, the air tinged with the rotten smell of a catacomb. It was impossible to recognize it, but that didn't bother me.

What bothered me was the sight of my Bella, standing on her knees and being held by two pairs of hands. I couldn't tell whose hands those were - they belonged to two faceless robe-wearing figures.

"Please, let me explain just once," my wife said and her voice was calm, despite her obviously helpless position.

I didn't like this. Why wasn't I there, to drag her away from their crude embrace and back to safety?

"Oh, but you've done your fair share of explaining, _cara mia_... Your family did as well and where are they now?"

I recognized the voice as soon as it glided in the darkness. It was syrupy and dire, like a greeting card announcing the death of a loved one, just as it had always been in my father's memories.

Aro grazed his fingers on Bella's cheek with tenderness. He let his hands cover each side of her face, brushing her stray hairs beneath her ears, almost as if he was getting her ready for a kiss. Before she got the chance to close her eyes - new, golden eyes, that I had never seen - her head was no longer there, attached to her body.

Alice gasped loudly when the vision ended abruptly and in my shock, I completely obliterated the black key under my index finger. Freed from the chains of her mind, I got up immediately and went to the lounging room, where everyone else was, straight to my wife.

"What was that?"

"Tell us."

My arms locked Bella in place and she looked up at me with worry.

Alice offered us a re-telling of her vision, leaving no details behind. When she was finished, the room didn't go crazy, as I had expected - at least not on the surface.

"Aro... is he the leader of the Volturi?" Bella asked me. "I think you've told me plenty of things about them when I was human, but I only remember bits and pieces."

"Yes, love, you remember correctly. But I will not let him or anyone else hurt you, I promise you this."

I held her tighter against my body, trying to make my voice sound collected - the opposite of how I felt in that moment.

"Don't feed her that crap," Rosalie hissed. "You know, Bella, what my brother is not telling you is that he - or anyone else, for that matter - cannot stop the Volturi, if they are provoked. This is not even about protecting anymore. Such a thing is out of our hands, really."

"Nobody will touch her as long as I am here and have a say in it," my lips turned into a grimace as I spoke, revealing my teeth.

" _Bro, you might be outnumbered._ "

"I do know how to fight, Emmett," I told him.

"Three vampires at once? Or even more?"

"Is this their final decision?" Esme interrupted us. "It can't be, they haven't even heard our side."

"They're not always so willing to hear the other side, my dear," Carlisle said.

" _And if Alice's vision is right, nobody gets out alive anyway,"_ he went on.

The silence that fell upon us like a blanket was unnerving. It was as if everyone got to hear Carlisle's last thought as loud and clear as I did. But they didn't have to - their minds brought them to the same conclusion without him saying a word.

I looked around the room. Just as I was holding Bella, Jasper and Emmet were holding Alice and Rosalie. Their faces were shaped into various masks of worry and unease, as they allowed themselves to process the magnitude of the danger we were in. Fleeing from Forks for the wolves' sake was one thing. Having the Volturi on our backs was an entirely different problem - one that wasn't as easily escapable.

It didn't take me long to understand that, as unbelievable as it seemed, that might have been the last time we got to spend together in the same room.

"Kids," Carlisle broke the silence.

Seven pairs of eyes glanced at him in unison.

"I hope you all understand why, in the current circumstances, it is much too dangerous to remain a group."

Rosalie was the first one to protest:

"We're breaking up?"

"For the time being, yes."

" _I hate that this makes so much sense,"_ Alice's thought was barely a whisper. She had seen Carlisle's plan seconds before he got to voice it. Her mind was already going through alternative timelines, ones in which we didn't split up - none of them seemed to steer our family towards a happy ending. The splitting up scenario didn't seem to lead anywhere in particular yet - there were only bits of pieces of late night drives, fragrant woods, scorching deserts and Northern lights, too vague to mean anything - but at least it didn't bring us to a certain death.

"Why would we do such a thing?"

"If we separate, this means fewer chances for the Volturi to find us. They would have to use more resources to find four separate groups than it would take them to find all of us."

"They won't even know that we had separated," Alice continued his explanation.

"And even if they did - their egos are big enough not to send the whole guard after us."

" _That depends on how pissed they are,"_ Emmett's mind echoed mine.

"Besides, if they decide to send Demetri, it would be game over for us," Alice added. "It would be too easy for them to find us if we remain together."

Everyone agreed with her, inside and out. Only Bella seemed to be confused.

"Why is that?" she asked, her eyes flickering from me to the rest of our family. "What am I missing?"

"Demetri can track a person via that person's mind," I explained. "But he can't track several people at once, especially when said people are scattered all throughout the world."

"Oh..."

"That's what I thought."

" _We never did this before - not like this anyway,"_ Rosalie was exasperated and I couldn't blame her for it. Her whole life was shaking and she had no control over it.

Bella's hand squeezed mine, pulling me back to my own thoughts. I looked down at her immediately, meeting her worrisome eyes.

"So we're going alone?" she asked.

"Yes," Carlisle responded. "And we won't remain in one place for too long - we can't afford getting comfortable, that's when we get vulnerable."

"And should we tell… Tanya and Kate?"

Alice stepped in immediately:

"The Volturi might consider them our accomplices, so we have to keep them out of the loop."

"Which means that we have to leave now," Jasper added. "They might return any second."

Without further ado, we went back to packing our bags, not even two weeks after doing the very same thing in Forks. It was easier this time around. After all, we were not leaving our home anymore.

I didn't have to bargain too much to take the private jet - Bella and I needed it more than they did when it came to long-distance travel.

Fate was on our side, because Tanya and Kate were still away by the time we were ready. At least they were going to be safe from the Volturi. After all, none of them knew about our witnesses - and a lack of knowledge could not be considered a capital offense. Alice made sure to leave a note behind, only two words engraved on a yellow post-it: "Don't call".

We left the house in complete silence. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the fact that it might have been the last time we were together as a family. Nobody wanted to talk about the perils of going nomadic. Nobody wanted to talk about the next time we were going to see each other again. Nobody said anything about what a complete disaster Mondays were.

But in their minds, they were all saying goodbye.

* * *

_Do not get in trouble._

_Do not spend more than a few days in a town._

_Do not use your real names._

_Do not use credit cards._

_Do not make friends along the way._

These were the rules we all had to follow, if we wanted to have any chance to stay under the radar. Meanwhile, Alice had to keep tabs on the Volturi's decisions, so that she could know about their whereabouts just in time for us to escape. It was as close to an infallible plan as we could get.

I flew our plane all the way to Ossora, a small Russian town situated on the shore of the Bering Sea. While we were up in the air, getting as far away from the United States as possible, Aro, Jane, Alec and Felix were flying first class, heading to the first place we left behind: our home in Forks.

Along the way, I got to tell Bella everything that she had forgotten about the Volturi. Back when she heard my stories for the first time, in her human days, they felt more like a fairytale, according to her. She made the same joke she did back then, calling them the big old Italian mafia. In a way, she wasn't wrong.

"You said something about Jane and Alec," Bella pointed out. "Their powers."

"Yes, what about them?"

"I was thinking… since you can't seem to be able to read my mind, would other vampires' powers work on me? I'm curious."

"I am not. But we won't get to find out anyway. I plan to keep you as far away as possible from them."

"But in the hypothetical scenario in which the plan fails, what if..."

My hands gripped the yoke tighter. I couldn't afford to consider hypothetical scenarios. I could only afford to concentrate on what mattered most: keeping Bella safe and away from the Volturi.

"I won't fail you," I said between my teeth.

We arrived in Ossora just before the sunrise. Ossora was not the rainy Forks or the wintry Denali. The days there were shiny and bright, especially during the summer. I had to bribe a few guys from the terminal to let us go without going through passport control - since our false passports weren't ready yet, we had to make do with what we had. In a day or two, Jasper was going to fax us our new identities.

The little Russian town was a blank canvas. With a population even smaller than that of Forks, it was quite a surprise that they even had a functioning airport. As much as I wanted to offer Bella the comfort of having access to a bath and a bed, I could not risk another accident. Instead of going to the small motel downtown, we went on a different route, through the woods. And to both our surprise, we found something right where the forest was ending, close to the outskirts of the town: a short building, that looked like it could use a few renovations.

The scents coming from inside were harmless: wood, watercolors and plastic balloons. It didn't look abandoned, yet it was clear that no humans had been there for a while. As I read the words on the welcome placard, I realized we were standing in front of a kindergarten - and lucky us, it was summer vacation in Russia as well.

"I think we've found our place."

"I've been to worse hotels with Renée."

I laughed, amazed that she was still able to maintain her humour, given the circumstances. On the inside, the kindergarden seemed rather modest. The entrance hall had poorly made, yet charming paintings all over the walls, along with a few framed photos of kids on school trips. The doors had thresholds that stood way too low for me - so much so that I had to hunch a little each time I passed through another one. There were no security cameras around - it was almost too easy.

The building only had four rooms: two classrooms, one office and a common bathroom. The dust had settled on the wooden furniture, covering it in a canescent veil. We left our luggage in one of the classrooms - the one that belonged to Mrs. Lebadov, going by the badge left on the desk.

"I wonder how long it's been since school ended here," I pondered out loud.

Bella was busy studying a particular painting on the wall that showed an odd family. It wasn't odd because they were all stick figures, but because it had the weirdest dynamic: the two adults held their hands in a corner, smiling, while the kid was on the opposite side of the paper sheet. For some reason, the kid seemed happy too.

"We're lucky that they don't seem to be doing any kind of maintenance," I said, swiping the veil of dust from a small desk with my fingers.

"Yes, we are," she agreed, but her mind seemed to be someplace else.

She kept twisting her wedding ring on her finger, looking around with curious eyes. She was now observing the scribblings on the blackboard.

"Where is your mind, my love?"

Before I got to finish my sentence, she was already in front of me. Her arms reached out to me, swathing my shoulders in a loose embrace, and then responded:

"I am thinking about how crazy everything is, to be honest."

I let my hands caress the small of her back when I spoke:

"Tell me more, please."

"Well… we should have been in Forks right now, probably getting ready to see my dad once more before we left for Cardiff. And now we're… in freaking Russia, in what seems to be a ghost town, running away from vampire royalty."

"I know, it is a lot to take in."

I was still doing a fair amount of taking everything in myself.

"And being in Denali was… a lot, I swear. I couldn't take one more day of people telling me how 'normal' my killings were. Because they were not normal, Edward, not for me. I had so much time to prepare for this life, only to ruin it all with one stupid impulse decision..."

This was the most talkative I had seen her since the accident. On one hand, it made me happy to see her finally able to open up. On the other, I didn't know how to hold the pieces of her mind together, to avoid a breakdown.

"Is it so wrong to need a break?" she whispered, pressing herself against me.

I tried to step back. Each touch felt like fire and I couldn't allow myself to get excited when she was still a mess, nor to let her see how impossible of a task this actually was. I had to be a gentleman for her.

"No, Bella, of course not."

I kissed her hair gently, but she glued herself to me once again, pulling me back to where I was seconds ago. There was no doubt now that she could perfectly feel my bulky erection, constrained by my jeans.

"Is it bad that I want to be a little selfish now?" she went on, looking up at me with zestful eyes.

"Not at all."

I wanted to grab her and do to her all the unspeakable things I had fantasized about in the past week and a half. But she had to be at least as mentally ready as I was for this.

"Edward..."

She moved her hands to my hair, tugging slightly. I had to suppress a groan, as her small body was now rubbing dangerously against mine, reviving all of my desires at once.

"I need to forget about this for a while."

Her eyes were pleading, just like her voice. My fist closed, grabbing the material of her shirt tightly in my palm. I wanted her to forget as well. She had been all sorts of unkind to herself.

And I wanted to forget too.

"What do you want me to do, love?" I asked, praying to God she would give me the answer I was longing for.

I felt each segment of my body catching fire, awaiting for her response. Pressing her body harder on mine, she said:

"Just make me forget, Edward."

This was the only incentive I needed.

Without another word, I lifted her up in my arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist, while our faces closed the distance between us in a second. We weren't kissing - no, there had to be another word for what we were doing. Whatever it was, it was much more violent and much more ravenous than a simple kiss. Our mouths and tongues were entangled in a battle, as our hands were quickly removing all the layers of clothes that stood between us. It was as if we were both trying to eat the other up, but I couldn't care less about being delicate in that moment. My most primal instincts were taking a front seat, leaving all sense and reason behind.

Each touch made her moan like she had never been touched before. I savoured her reactions, biting my way from her earlobe to her throat and finally, to her breasts. My impatience was evident - I wasn't sure I had the strength or even the desire to take my time with her as I usually did.

I wanted it to be fast and I wanted it to be hard. I didn't want to make love to her. I wanted to _fuck_ her.

My mind went completely wild with need when I tore her underwear and got to feel her wetness on my fingers.

"God, you're dripping," I moaned, rubbing hard on her clitoris. It responded like I knew it would, pulsing with pleasure and ready to explode from all the waiting it had endured. "I've missed this… missed _you_... so much."

"Me too! Please… please, Edward..."

Her words were intricate melodies to my ears, singing songs in front of which I could not resist. I pinned her body against the nearest wall and I knew then, looking in her eyes, that she, too, wanted it hard and fast.

"God, Bella, I am going to fuck you until you beg me to stop," I groaned, my face hidden in her neck.

My words had the same effect on her as they did in the movie theater, not so long ago, assuring me once again that I had to use them more often with her. Bella gasped and I plunged inside her with one single motion, giving her no time to accommodate my length and my girth. She cried out from the shock of being filled so completely - and once again when I began moving with force, slamming her against the wall with each thrust.

My own body felt overwhelmed with the pleasure of finally being inside my wife again, after waiting for so long. It felt even better than I remembered: tighter, wetter, warmer. Her velvet muscles hugged my every inch, welcoming me, showing me how much she missed me too.

"My Bella..." I murmured, completely lost in her.

She gouged her fingers in my hips, sobbing helplessly with each push of mine.

"Feels… so… good… harder," she whispered between breaths.

My roar filled the air when I obliged her wishes and began moving at full speed. I kept chanting 'My Bella… my Bella… my Bella' like a mad man, my mind still wrapping itself around the idea that I was _finally_ possessing her again. I had wanted her all throughout her sorrow, my desire as unchanged as my love for her - and now I was finally having her.

For the first time since the accident, I allowed myself to form a thought that had been haunting me: it didn't matter what she did. And if thinking that made me a monster, I couldn't care less. She was still my Bella. Still my angel. My love. My everything. No crime, hers or mine, could ever erase that.

There was no warning when my orgasm hit like a tsunami. I buried myself deeper inside her body, groaning in desperation when my venom spurted and inundated her. A small part of me realized how selfish I was for doing this before she got the chance to reach her climax, but the rest of me didn't care. My release took several precious moments, the fresh venom overflowing straight to my testicles, mixed up with Bella's liquid arousal.

I was breathing heavily against her collarbone when I was done, still clasping her buttocks in my hands. Her hands and legs remained closely wrapped around me.

"I love you," her whisper danced in the air, intertwining with the wet sounds our slowly moving bodies made.

"And I you."

"I don't want you to stop."

She shifted slowly down my erection, my venom flowing out of her and collecting into a small pool on the floor.

"Oh, I am in too deep to stop now, Bella."

The delicate moan that rolled off her lips when she heard my words, laced with double meaning, set my hunger for her loose again.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, moving her away from the wall - noticing the huge crack left behind from slamming her so hard against it - and placing her body on the floor. "Let's do this properly now. Slower."

Bella gripped me tighter, pulling my face down for a kiss. I let my tongue explore her mouth and our bodies united once again.

We made love all night, trying hard not to destroy the kindergarten more than we already did. At times we went rougher, at other times slower. We caught up with all the pent-up lust we had brought with us from Alaska.

It was easy to forget that we were on the run. It was easy to forget why we were in an empty kindergarten on the coast of the Bering Sea. It was easy to forget most things when I was with her.

At some point, I even forgot where she ended and where I began - and I didn't mind that at all.

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**If you've got this far, thank you for having so much patience with my story - I am really grateful for that!**

**Also, if you w** **ould like to get sneak peeks of future chapters and one-day-early heads-ups regarding updates, as well as discover the soundtrack for this story (lol, calling it "soundtrack" feels pompous af, I know and I'm sorry, but I can't find a better word for it), you are welcome to join the Facebook group "After Nightfall: Updates, sneak peeks, music and discussions" - a group that wouldn't have existed if it weren't for the suggestion of one lovely reader from another fanfiction platform.**

**Whatever you do, stay safe and healthy!**


	10. Remembering

**Hello! So normally I don't do trigger-warnings, because up until now they didn't seem necessary, but I have to make an exception for this chapter. If you're not particularly sensitive to certain topics, you can go ahead and read. If you are, I should probably mention that this chapter will contain a few mentions of domestic violence, intended rape and graphic torture towards the middle, so read with care.**

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Thomas Langdon and Rosemary Baker.

These were the names written on the fake IDs and passports Jasper had faxed us. I looked at them, studying the flawless details. Jasper knew some talented con-men, I had to give him that.

While talking to him over the phone, I got to know more about where he and Alice went. They were in Barillas, Guatemala. They were stationed at a hotel downtown, only going out at night to avoid the sunlight.

"We won't stay here much longer," he said. "I have to make sure everyone gets their ID and their passport first, and then we leave. Rosalie and Emmett are still waiting for us."

"When have you talked to them?"

"A few hours ago, actually. They arrived safely in Reykjavík. They had a couple of problems avoiding passport control, but they made do."

"That's good. I only got to talk to Carlisle and you so far."

Carlisle and Esme went to Brazil, in Rio. They seemed fine, but I could tell Esme was worried sick - she wasn't exactly a big fan of having her kids spread all throughout the world, away from her. While there had been times in the past when we lived separately, it had always been a mutual choice - not a reaction to some tragic event.

"They're in Rio, right?"

"Yes - the last place where the Volturi would go."

"Speaking of which, Alice had another vision - they arrived in Forks. And they weren't happy with what they had found."

I sighed. We had awakened something terrible with our decision to leave. However, the alternative was dying and that was not an option.

"Where are they going now?"

"Well… the Denalis."

For a short second, I froze. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. The Volturi were aware of the friendship between our clans. Of course they went for the low hanging fruit first, as predictable as it would have been. But I didn't like the idea of them barging in on our cousins, unannounced. The last time Tanya, Kate and Irina saw them, the Volturi had killed their mother in front of their very eyes.

However, we could not tell them a word about the incoming visit. If we did, Aro would see it in their minds and hold them accountable for hiding us. He had to know that our cousins were not aware of the whole picture throughout our stay. They only thought they were offering us a temporary home after breaking the treaty with the wolves - there was nothing condemnable about that, since they didn't break any rules.

"They were sad, Edward," Jasper said, answering a question I had not asked out loud. "When they arrived and found out we were gone, they didn't understand what made us leave without any notice. Alice saw them almost calling us, but then they found the note."

I could only hope that the news on the TV were going to clarify what we couldn't.

"I just hope they'll be able to forgive us someday," I said.

"We'll see about that."

We said our goodbyes and I went back to Mrs. Lebadov's classroom, where Bella was waiting for me, curled up on a small mattress that was most probably intended for sleepy kids. The sight of her, dressed only in my shirt, was enough to bring back some of my good spirits.

"Mrs. Rosemary Baker," I saluted her, flashing the IDs and passports in my hand in her direction.

"Ugh, I wish Jasper would have let me pick my own name," she murmured, grabbing both IDs from my hand and studying the names on them. "Hmmm, and you must be Thomas Langdon?"

"Most definitely. It is a pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady in this peculiar place."

She smiled, taking my hand in hers and pulling me down to her. I watched as she parted her legs slightly.

"It is too bad I am taken, Mr. Langdon. And you see, my husband is a very, very possessive man."

"Is he?" I flashed her a smile, entertained by our little spontaneous role-play. "Well, he is out of luck, because I am willing to risk it all for a woman like you."

I leaned down, towering over her, unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing.

"Careful, he wouldn't approve of this," she whispered.

My hand grabbed her right breast, pinching the rose-coloured nipple softly.

"Wouldn't he?" I teased. "You don't seem to be much of a protester yourself, ma'am. Maybe you like being taken advantage of."

"When a man like you does it, I don't really mind."

We laughed together and I got closer, so that I could take her other nipple in my mouth. I began sucking on it ardently. The skin felt like warm silk in my mouth, calling me to devour it further. I traced a line of wet kisses from her nipple to the base of her breast, finding my way to her navel and to her hip bones. When I got to her thighs, I stopped to take a deep breath. The scent flooded my airways, unbelievably enticing.

"You smell amazing," I muttered. "I could eat you up."

I let my teeth sink in the flesh of her thigh, letting out a guttural sound upon feeling the sublime taste.

"Ah, I see you've already begun," she panted.

My mouth soon found its way to where it needed to be most. Bella's warm wet slit welcomed me, twitching when my tongue trailed a lazy line on its surface, up to her clitoris. She opened her legs wide, inviting me to dive deeper. Her taste was luscious, encompassing my every sense, and it got me impossibly hard.

Lost in my endeavours of pleasing Bella, I lost track of time. When the room got dark, I remembered to get up to call Alice, to check if she had had any visions. She hadn't - but promised me she would call back if she saw anything.

"Does that mean we get to stay a few more days here?" Bella asked me.

"Oh, I wish. But you heard what Carlisle said: we cannot afford to get comfortable. That can only make us vulnerable."

"Right."

She was now laying on the teacher's desk, completely naked, with her hair spread in a chaotic mess. I sat down on the chair behind the desk and took a mahogany strand between my fingers, studying it up close.

"How do you feel, Bella?"

"Right now? Beyond amazing."

Her eyes were closed and she looked more relaxed than ever since the accident. I had a burning question for her, one that I couldn't postpone any longer:

"What changed your mind last night?"

A delicate frown appeared in the soft marble of her face. She took her time before responding:

"I guess... I decided that it doesn't matter anymore - not the crimes, of course, I won't forgive myself for those. But if we have some ancient vampires on our backs, I don't want to..."

Her hesitation made her stutter towards the end, something that had not happened since she became immortal.

"You don't want to…?" I encouraged her.

"I simply don't want to waste whatever time we've got left. I want to enjoy being with you as much as possible, in case they find us."

"Oh, Bella…"

I let go of her strand and got up, to look at her. She opened her eyes when she felt me nearer.

"We've got plenty of time left together, okay?" I said, taking her face in my hands. "Alice is the ace in our sleeves, she sees most things just in time for us to escape, if it comes to that. And you have to remember I have been on my own before, so you can rest assured that I know how to take care of business."

"You weren't followed though, were you?"

"I wasn't, but that doesn't change things. All we have to do is lay low and move around. A lot."

She sighed and pressed her lips on my palm.

"Until when?"

"Until this whole circus with Elijah Cochran ends and the Volturi realize that we didn't expose our kind."

"Edward… things like that can take years sometimes."

"They do, love. But what's a few years in the pool of eternity?"

Her teeth pressed against her bottom lip. She then reached out to kiss my wrist.

"I am afraid," her words tickled my skin.

"I know. Think about it this way: in a few years from now, this will only be a distant memory."

She didn't seem convinced, but decided to drop it. She stood up from the desk, her eyes fixated once again on the painting of the odd family. I tried to understand the expression on her face, but couldn't: it went back and forth from curiosity to chagrin.

"Edward," her voice, light as a feather, grabbed my interest. "You mentioned that time you went away on your own earlier."

I nodded and waited for her to continue, imagining the direction of her thoughts - and not quite liking it.

"I remember you telling me about it when I was still human, but… you barely gave me the outline of those stories."

"I figured that the details about me killing people for years on end might not interest you that much, love."

I tried to play it lightly, but I knew, from the moment she opened her mouth, that there was no escaping this conversation.

"They always interested me," she pointed out. "But now that you have no real reasons to think I might get scared and run away, I want to hear them."

I chuckled and she seemed confused.

"What's so funny?"

"I didn't think you would run away, Bella. You were too spellbound for that."

We laughed together and she agreed.

"Okay, then why did you never tell me more?" she pushed, coming nearer, until her thighs settled in my lap.

It was hard to resist her when she was standing so close to me, her bare skin pressed on mine.

"I just didn't want you to know about how bad it can get. How low creatures like me - well like us - could go."

She thought about it for a second. I continued:

"I guess now you know - although it is different, because what you did was an accident. But in my case… I wanted to kill those people with all my being, Bella. It was a conscious decision on my part. I didn't have the excuse of being caught in an accident. And it wasn't just their blood, but their thoughts..."

I stopped when I saw the frown on her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers.

"No, not at all! Please continue - I want nothing more than to listen to you."

She placed her hand carefully on my chest, waiting patiently. Her eyes were cherry-red and I had to remind myself that I no longer had to protect her from what I was. We were made from the same material and had the same cravings now. The only thing that set us apart was my experience - and her lack thereof.

It was a dangerous thing - being both a husband and, for lack of a better word, a creator. On one hand, I wanted to shield Bella from the bad and the ugly of the vampire world, as much as it was in my power to do so. On the other hand, I had a moral duty to her to tell her about everything - ugly parts included.

Stepping beyond my usual limits, I began re-tracing my memories in front of her very eyes, in details that had remained unspoken on purpose for decades:

"I had been a vampire for a little less than ten years when I decided I'd had enough of being held in a cage. Of course, I was never in a cage - but my mind was still very much that of a teenager at that certain point in time, so rebelling against authority felt not only natural, but good. In the winter of 1919, Carlisle and I had this chance encounter with two old friends of his. Nothing in particular happened, but one of them kept thinking a burning thought: she couldn't understand why Carlisle was depriving me of what she was convinced was 'the greatest joy of this life'. I didn't think much of it at the moment, but the thought came back to haunt me almost a decade later, after Carlisle found Esme."

I hadn't relived these particular moments for so long, that it almost felt like they didn't belong to me. But they did and there was no running away from that.

"It was 1927 and Carlisle and Esme were having the time of their life, while I was dreading each coming night," I said. "They were at the peak of their honeymoon phase and their thoughts were… a lot to deal with. Esme was struggling to find her strength to remain a vegetarian, and Carlisle would always offer me as an example. He would often ask me to be a mentor for her when he couldn't - and with him doing long shifts at the hospital so frequently, that happened to be a lot. The truth is... he overestimated my commitment to the vegetarian lifestyle, as well as my maturity. Let's put it this way: there are many teenagers who love nothing more than to indulge themselves with some booze. But what if a teenager had an alcoholic mother and it was his responsibility to convince her to lock the alcohol cabinet for good? How could he do that, when he himself wants nothing more than to have a sip from the bottles in that very cabinet every once in a while?"

Bella absorbed my every word, not even breathing.

"So anyway, it got to a point when it became too much for me. I didn't want to refrain myself anymore when I got close to humans. I wanted an out and I did what most teenagers do when they want to escape their parents: I ran away. Esme and Carlisle were crushed, as you can imagine. In a bid to make up for the heartbreak I had caused them, I decided to impose myself one single rule: kill only the guilty. The vile people that the society could do without. The murderers and the rapists and the pedophiles. Although, come to think of it, it wasn't for Carlisle's and Esme's sake only. It was for mine as well. As much as I craved to cave in to my nature and drink human blood, I couldn't escape my own morals - the ones that my biological parents had instilled in me long before Carlisle had the chance to. I needed some sort of excuse for what I was doing."

I felt Bella's hand stroking the inside of my palm and I felt encouraged to continue, even though what was coming was going to show her a facet of my past self that I had tried to keep as private as possible from everyone - with the exception of Carlisle. If my heart could still beat, it would have exploded right out of my chest in that moment.

"My first victim was Esme's abusive ex-husband, Charles."

"She told me about him a while ago," Bella's voice was almost a whisper.

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. I hadn't expected her to remember this, since Esme told her those stories back in Bella's human days.

"Please go on," she added immediately.

"All right, so I had this hero complex that made me hungry for avenging Esme's pain. It wasn't hard at all to track Charles. He had remarried after Esme and he was living with this woman, named Julia. She was a small-town girl with big dreams - dreams that got crushed after marrying Charles. They didn't have kids, because Julia was unable to conceive... that was one of the many excuses he had found for himself to throw punches at her belly on a daily basis. He was convinced that the reason Julia couldn't have kids was because she hadn't been a virgin on the night of their wedding. Just like Esme, she endured daily beatings and being sweared at on the regular. Her mind was so fractured from the abuse, that... it hurt to hear her thoughts, very much so. The day I arrived at their house, Julia was cooking some sort of soup in the kitchen. Charles was getting ready for a night out to a brothel - but of course his wife didn't know about that. He had done some mercurochrome injections beforehand and those made his blood smell awful."

"Why did he do it?"

"It was a common drug back then for men who had… trouble performing in the bedroom. Anyway, he kept knotting his tie again and again, as he was admiring himself in the mirror. In between two blinks, he saw me standing behind him."

I stopped, the memory too clear for comfort.

"Are you okay?"

Bella's fingers traced the contour of my jaw.

"I am not proud of what I did next," I admitted.

"Edward, whatever it was, you are no longer that person."

Looking in her eyes, I found something there to hold on to. Something to remind me of who I actually was. It was enough to help me continue:

"I didn't offer him the chance to scream, I… I simply grabbed him and ripped this tongue out with one hand and stuffed his mouth with that stupid tie, so that he couldn't make another sound. As much as I wanted his blood, I wanted to make him pay for what he did: to my mother, to Julia and to the prostitutes he had been paying visits to. So I tortured him for a couple of hours, while Julia kept stirring in that pot of soup. I broke his limbs one by one and left deep gashes in his belly. I made it even worse for him by reciting each of his thoughts out loud as he was thinking them. By the time I was feeding from him, he was already dead."

I had to take another break to recollect myself. I knew I wasn't a rage-filled monster anymore, but that didn't change the fact that I was once exactly that. And repeating the details of what was possibly one of the worst crimes I had committed in front of my wife made me feel uncharacteristically vulnerable.

Before I knew it, Bella's arms were around my neck, her lips pressed tightly to my cheek.

"That version of you is long gone," she whispered. "And Charles was an awful person to begin with."

"Nobody deserves that."

"I'm not saying he deserved it, but he kind of had it coming."

She held me close to her for many more minutes, and I allowed myself to sink in my own temporary weakness. With her long hair draped around my shoulders and her scent in my nose, being vulnerable didn't feel so bad.

"You know, there is a good part about this story," I said, when I felt ready to talk again. "After disposing of his body, I left an envelope full of cash at Julia's door, with a note that said 'Build the life you deserve'. So she hired someone to build her a small painting workshop. She then bought all sorts of paints and brushes and started doing what she hadn't done in ages - she started painting. Her works are arguably some of the beast surreal paintings I had ever seen to this day. You can still find them in some of the museums in Ohio, actually."

Bella pulled back to look at me, smiling ever so slightly.

"You gave Julia the life she had always wanted," she said softly.

"I don't know about that. I simply took the man who was keeping her down out of her life. She did the rest on her own."

I took Bella's hand in mine, playing with her fingers.

"And what happened after?" she asked. "Those following four years?"

"I spent them mostly on my own. I had met other nomads along the way, who encouraged my ways. Some of them fed my ego way too much, to be honest. And there was this woman named Maude, who must have been in her late twenties when she was transformed. She was really peculiar, because she was a vegetarian of her own will, just like Carlisle. When she met me and I told her what I was doing, she couldn't help it and begged me to go find the men who took her father away when she was still a teenager. Her father got sold into slavery, back in 1899. She wanted to avenge him, even though he was long gone and his abusers so old that they could barely get up from their beds for a glass of water. I probably wouldn't have gone if I hadn't heard her thoughts. But there was so much anguish in her mind that it felt like torture to spend even a single minute in her head - I couldn't imagine what it was like to live with those thoughts on a daily basis, with nothing to soothe them."

"So you went after them?"

"I did. But by then I was no longer violent in my attacks. It didn't matter to Maude, she only wanted them dead to find her peace. The last time I had truly been brutal was in the late summer of that first year alone."

Bella's eyebrows raised with curiosity.

"What did you do then?"

"Well, I was at a point in my life when I was pretty pissed off that I didn't get to go to college - it wasn't until after I returned to Carlisle and Esme that I got to do that. But some part of me wanted to at least get an idea of what might have been had I not caught the Spanish flu. So I went to the University of Chicago, wasting time around the campus, trying to catch a glimpse of the lectures. Then one night, I stayed in the library until late when I heard them: it was a group of boys, all of them seniors. They were getting ready to leave. And just as they were walking towards the exit, they began talking about some kind of party. It didn't take me long to understand the context from their discussion and their thoughts: they were members of the Eta Sigma Phi fraternity. Back then, it was quite an honour to be part of it - only the best students got to join it. But that party had nothing to do with academics. One of those guys had invited three of his female acquaintances to what they called a 'private Era Sigma Phi soiree'. You wouldn't think much of it at first. Yet their plan was to drug the three girls to sleep, undress them, tie them up and have a few freshmen take advantage of them, as an unofficial rite of initiation into the fraternity."

As I was saying this, I could still remember their quiet laughters in the library, as they discussed the safest dose that would put those poor girls to sleep without harming them long-term. The unspoken pleasure of planning to steal away their innocence. The contrast between their imposing suits and their intentions.

I shuddered.

"I followed them to their fraternity house right after. The girls were supposed to arrive in one hour. In that hour, I… let's just say I took my time with those predators. There were five of them in total and I made them watch as I ripped each one of them piece by piece before drinking their blood."

My wife was frowning again.

"Well, what matters is that you got to save those girls."

It was now my turn to frown at the absurdity of it all: in her unending kindness, Bella only saw the saviour in me, not the criminal.

"In retrospective, I am sure there must have been a thousand other ways in which I could have saved them, love."

She didn't contradict me. Instead, she reached out to brush her lips against mine. My mind was still processing the memories I had let out when she did that, so her gesture made me moan with surprise.

When she pulled away, her eyes sparked and I knew she had another question before she even voiced it.

"I'm listening," I said.

"I was wondering… what made you come back?"

"That's probably the easiest question for me - although the answer might seem silly. I was in Hoquiam and I was doing my usual nighttime hunting, searching for incriminating thoughts on the streets. As I was heading towards a bar, I saw a man and a woman holding hands several feet away from me. They were walking and a quick snooping assured me they were a happily married couple. But then she told him something simple: 'I am glad they're no longer making you work night shifts'. I stopped right in the tracks when I heard those words. I don't know what it was. Maybe that line in itself? Maybe her voice? Or maybe her caramel curls... All I know is that that woman reminded me of Esme in a way that I was simply not prepared for. The resemblance caught me off-guard. I walked right by that bar that night and went straight to the woods. That was the first night I went back to feeding on animals - but it did take me another couple of months to gather the courage to show up in front of Carlisle and Esme again. My eyes had the weirdest shade when I returned, something that was not quite red, nor quite golden."

Bella's smile melted my frozen body.

"The prodigal son," she teased.

"They called me that up until Rosalie came into the picture a few years later."

I sighed, as I slowly realized that I had told Bella the worst things about me in full detail and she was still in my arms. Maybe she was right earlier: a part of me was afraid of her running away. I shouldn't have underestimated her - that was one of my less noble habits.

And maybe my stories had given her a better insight into who she was. Compared to my deliberate crimes, her slip-up looked benign. I wanted to ask her if she understood that, but I didn't want to lay it on too thick.

"But back when you were still on your own and feeding on humans… did you ever slip?"

"I had kept my promise of killing criminals only, but I was close to breaking it once or twice. I didn't though."

"What do you think would have happened if you met me when I was human, back in this rebellious phase of yours?"

That was one thought that had never wandered through my mind, not even once, not until that very moment, when Bella's curiosity decided to bring it up. I tried not to get carried away, but my mind was already building the forbidden scene in my head.

I could see Bella, dressed in a form-fitting dress, that left only her calves exposed, her chestnut curls rolled in an intricate bun, her skin impossibly flushed and inviting. Bella walking down a quiet street, with her eyes focused on the pavement, in a bid to avoid tripping over her small kitten heels. Bella, her mind as quiet as the stars above, leaving behind her a trail of the most intoxicating fragrance on the planet, diverting my attention from whatever predator I was chasing to her and only her, without even trying.

Would I have made it quick or would I have taken my time with her? Would I have had the strength to invent some excuse, so that she could let me, a complete stranger, walk her home? How scared - and how aroused - would she have been by our chance encounter? What would I have needed more upon finally being alone with her - her body or her blood?

"I didn't know my question would get you so excited," she snickered, making me aware of my own erection brushing against her thigh.

The fantasy lingered in my head, pulling me deeper into its tendrils.

"You would have let me walk you home," I responded to her question, grabbing her hips and pushing her body down on the desk, so that I could stand on top of her.

"Maybe I would have known better than to walk home with strangers."

"You would have, I am sure of that. But you would have been helpless in front of a stranger who could get you impossibly wet without even touching you."

Bella gasped a loud sound when she felt my fingers between her legs.

"What would you have done first?" she demanded to know, her eyes locked to mine as I massaged her clitoris slowly.

"I would have asked you if I may come inside - and you would have let me, love."

She closed her eyes, her body quivering under me.

"So forward of a gentleman like you," her giggling faded out, giving way to a whimper. "And then what?"

"Then... I would have slowly leaned down, to inhale that gorgeous scent of your neck… the one that lured me in in the first place."

As I spoke, I did exactly that. The skin on her neck was as soft as when I sunk my teeth in it, only not as fragile.

"I would have had the hardest time deciding between whether to possess you and find out if your orgasms smell as sweet as your blood _or_ bite that perfect neck and drain it of all that's inside."

Bella moaned and pushed herself up, to meet my eagerly working fingers.

"In the end, I would have probably done both," I murmured against her neck.

My teeth longed for her skin, so I bit hungrily. There was no blood and her groan didn't indicate pain, but pleasure. I realized then that no fantasy could amount to the utter perfection of reality.

Bella tugged at my hair and the sweetest sound escaped her lips when I plunged hard and deep inside her. My whole world concentrated in the fusion of our bodies. The feeling was so powerful, so exquisite, getting better and better each time we made love.

This time, there was something different. The way she abandoned herself to me felt barren of any worldly vanities. Her voice calling out my name was raw and tempting, like that of a goddess who knew all the secrets of the universe. And while Bella didn't know all the secrets of the universe, she certainly knew mine. I had given her the final key to my heart, the key that led to the ugliest chamber, and she entered it. And she was still here, despite the ugliness, still my Bella. Forever bound to me.

We were breathing each other in and out, absorbing each other's reactions as if our lives depended on it. I moved in and out of her slowly, trying to predict her next actions and pleasantly failing every once in a while.

A couple of hours later, I grabbed Bella's lingerie from the floor and offered it to her without much enthusiasm.

"Time to go?"

"I would stay here with you forever if I could, you know that," I told her.

"Tell me where we're going next."

"For now, we stay in Russia. We'll move further north, to Belaya Gora."

"That's a funny name."

"Funny or not, they have the White Mountain Airport there, so we'll have a place to land."

Bella put her clothes back on and she looked around the classroom once more as she did that.

"But before we go, you need to hunt."

For a second, I thought she would protest by telling me she wasn't thirsty, but she didn't. She probably understood now why it was better for her to be over-saturated with blood than under-saturated.

"In other circumstances, this would have been a perfect second honeymoon," she said.

"I promise you that when this whole thing is over," - I made sure not to voice the 'if it is over' in my head - "I am taking you on the best second honeymoon you could dream of."

Her longing smile made me decide in an instant that, whatever happened, I had to do everything in my power to keep that promise.


	11. Teaching

"When I tell you to please stand back while I do the talking, I mean it, Bella. Please, never do this again."

She scowled at me and I growled in response.

"I was fine, don't overreact, please."

Of course she thought I was overreacting.

Earlier, while we were in queue for passport control - an activity that had required all of my senses working together at full capacity, given that Bella was standing right next to me and we were in a human-filled area - a middle-aged lady kept pushing herself in our direction, as if that was going to help her advance faster. I tried to position myself between her and Bella, but I knew that was a feeble - if not completely inefficient - way to cover her scent. So I turned my head towards the lady, keeping Bella in place with a strength that nobody around us would have guessed, and I told her:

"Ma'am, if you don't mind, my wife and I had a very long flight and she is not feeling too good. I would appreciate it if you would keep a respectful distance."

She happened to be American, just like us, so there was no need for me to test my knowledge of the Russian language. Her eyes widened when she heard my words and her thoughts made a few somersaults before deciding that she didn't like me. Bella broke off my grip and stepped forward, closer to the lady.

My sanity caught on fire.

"Please excuse my husband, he's not feeling well himself. Turbulent flight."

Bella's voice, smooth and sweet, like melted chocolate, contrasted greatly with my harsh tone. It was enough for the lady to decide that I was a 'raging imbecile' and my wife 'quite a cupcake'.

"I'm in a hurry," the woman said, sending daggers with her eyes in my direction.

"Everyone is, but pushing the people in front of you like that won't get you to your destination faster," I let her know.

The woman's heart started pumping louder from anger and I realized I might have made a mistake. My arm draped across Bella with dread.

"We can let you step in front of us, actually," my wife offered generously and seemingly in control of her needs.

"Bella," I hissed, too fast for the lady to hear. "I got it."

The lady huffed and made a step back eventually. She didn't come closer again, something about my behaviour assuring her that it was for the best to keep her distance.

As we got inside our rented car, Bella scolded me for scaring the lady earlier.

"She was getting way too close," I explained.

"I understand, Edward, I swear I do. But listen to me for a second: since we're technically on the run and we are bound to meet humans on our way, wouldn't it be a good idea to get used to facing them or something?"

"You will slowly get used to it. But let's not push our luck, how about that?"

She didn't protest further and remained quiet throughout the rest of our short drive. I couldn't risk driving further than the city limits. Luckily for us, there were a few small houses up for renting close to the outskirts of the town, destined for tourists who visited Belaya Gora for hiking purposes. Arranged in a disrupted circle formation that brought back a pale memory of a summer camp from my childhood, the houses were as big as our bathrooms in Forks. It made sense, in a way: the people coming there weren't seeking comfort, just a place to crash in after their long hikes. The biggest silver lining was the safe distance between them - a distance that would've been non-existent had we been to a motel or a hotel.

There was an unnerving scent in the air around the camp, one that I couldn't exactly identify: in a way, it reminded me of sawdust and moss. But there was more to it, and it bothered me that I couldn't exactly understand its source. I tried to ignore it.

It was peak season for summer hikes, which meant that most of the houses were occupied. The man who was taking care of the renting process - a lively Russian in his thirties, who smelled as if he had a little too much alcohol in his system for a Thursday night - told me the best he could offer us was a house where the shower was only working during certain intervals throughout the day. A quick dive into his mind showed me that there was, in fact, another house available, one that he kept free in case his mistress from a nearby village came into town.

I didn't have to take too much money out of my wallet to convince him to give us his love-nest.

"Why do I get the feeling that you are bribing people every step of the way?" Bella asked me when we entered the small house.

"Probably because I am."

She rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to throw your money left and right, you know? I would've been fine if we would've stayed in the other house - or in the woods, for what it's worth."

"We might be on the run, but we're not animals. If there is the slightest chance to put a roof above your head while we're traveling around, I take it."

As modest as it was, the house felt welcoming. There was a bunk bed on the right side and a table on the other. Right beside the table I could see a fridge and a microwave oven. A long rocking chair that was clearly meant for lounging reigned close to the center of the room. The walls were flanked with windows on each side, revealing the forest outside - in other circumstances, I might have appreciated the rustic aesthetic, but right now I didn't want anyone creeping on us, so I improvised some curtains, using the sheets from the top bed.

As Bella unpacked and went to take a shower into the hilariously-small bathroom, I made a few phone-calls to our family. Thankfully, everyone was safe so far: Carlisle and Esme had left Brazil and they were now in Liberia. Alice and Jasper were in a plane, on their way to Peru, as Rosalie informed me when I called her and Emmett.

"We'll stay in Warsaw for a few more days. It's been raining a lot, so at least we've got that going," she said.

For one reason or another, Rosalie didn't seem as pissed over the phone as she usually was when we were talking face to face. I decided to take a chance and see if she might be willing to let her guard down just a little more.

"So how are you feeling, Rose?"

"Beyond stressed as hell and watching my every step? I guess not as bad as I had expected - having Em around helps."

"He sure is a lucky charm."

"It would be nice if we could get to spend more than three days in a row in a certain place, you know? This is a stupid rule anyway, if you ask me."

I smiled, glad that I took that chance earlier.

"We might be laying it on thick, but it's for the best," I said.

"I can't wait for this to be over. Have you seen the news today?"

"I don't really have access to a TV where I am right now."

"That Elijah guy told the press to 'offer him some space' - apparently the constant interviews on top of the investigation got to him."

"That was quicker than I'd expected," I admitted.

"You think? Ugh, I hate weak men. If you can't commit to something, just don't even bother. Now not only did he alarm the Volturi about us with his confessions, but he is also wasting people's time with his fifteen minutes of fame."

"Rose, you know it's for the best that he caved so quickly - that's _if_ he caved for good."

Rosalie let out a noisy sigh and agreed. I heard Emmett on the other end, announcing proudly from a distance that 'baby, the water is ready'.

"I guess you've got to go."

"Yes," - she hesitated for a few seconds - "I hope you stay safe… both of you."

"You're very generous today, Rose."

"Sometimes I wonder how I've ever put up with you for so long," she snickered and I could almost see the eye-roll beyond her voice.

"Take care as well."

I hung up and turned around, only to see Bella dressing up in her favourite nighttime attire: sweatpants and a soft T-shirt. She used to wear it every night when I visited her in Charlie's house in Forks - and even after, when we moved in together after our wedding.

It surprised me a little. She hadn't dressed in pajamas in weeks, for obvious reasons: she no longer needed to sleep. Seeing her again brought back all the memories from her past life and I wondered if dressing up like that had had the same effect on her as well.

"Mmmmm, I haven't seen you dressed like this in forever."

"Couldn't even remember what it felt like. I don't even know why I did it now."

She noticed a weirdly-shaped hole close to her waist and grimaced. I tried not to laugh upon remembering how her shirt got that hole.

A few weeks before our wedding, she suggested that we should have a little bit of practice before venturing into making love for the first time. As I had done so many times before, I couldn't refuse her request - and it wasn't like I wasn't already burning with desire for her, constantly finding excuses to shower her with kisses and longing touches. It was during that first night of our so-called practice that her shirt ripped.

As usual, she went to take a shower, before telling Charlie she was going to sleep. He seemed understandably suspicious, given that it wasn't even ten P.M., but he let it slide. Bella's excitement, however, made her trip in the darkness, right after she had opened her bedroom door, where I was waiting for her. I got by her side to catch her just before she had the chance to fall, but it was too late for her T-shirt. The doorknob had already caught it at an unusual angle and ripped the soft material. It didn't matter much: her shirt ended up on the floor anyway, soon after that.

That had been the first night Bella slept almost naked beside me. After seeing her bare breasts for the very first time, I had little interest to do anything else besides tracing the perfect beads of her nipples with my fingers, watching as they hardened upon meeting my cold touch, and encircling them with my tongue, over and over again. That, coupled with her reactions - flushed skin, raging heartbeat, shaky breaths, boiling blood and moans that could only be muffled by my fingers in her mouth - got me unbelievably hard.

I felt very close to exploding that night - especially after she had fallen asleep, leaving me to dwell painfully on the hungers her body had awakened in me. It took all of my willpower to not pull her from the dreams she was lost in and tell her that I could no longer find a reason to care about waiting before marriage and that I had to have her then and there. A little before dawn, I made sure to put her T-shirt back on - gently, so as not to wake her up - to avoid Charlie seeing his daughter like that had he decided to check up on her before going to work.

The following nights had been more or less the same. She came back from the shower early each night, lying to her father about feeling overwhelmed by homework, only to stay up until the early hours of the morning with me, surrendering her body in my hands with careless abandon. Little did she understand the amount of control I needed to channel into my every action.

In the cover of darkness, I discovered how her wetness seeped through her underwear and soaked the thick material of her sweatpants - and how much I craved to taste that wetness. With the snow falling endlessly outside and ice crystals arranging in flower patterns on her window, we learned just how much harder my body could get. In the silence of the house, I offered Bella her first orgasm, rubbing gently on the most sensitive spot between her legs through her underwear until she came undone without warning, taking both me and herself by surprise. But throughout the unspeakable pleasures we were discovering together, the poisoned thirst for her blood never left me.

Seeing Bella in her old shirt and sweatpants now brought me back to that time, when the only one threatening her safety was myself. However, looking back, I had always been a somewhat manageable threat. It had always been in my power and no one else's to keep her safe.

But the Volturi? It wasn't exactly under my control to protect her from them fully and that drove me crazy. If I could, I would have killed them all at once and watch them burn while holding Bella's hand in mine.

"You're beautiful, as always," I told her in the end.

"Thank you!"

Her demure smile set my cold insides ablaze. She climbed into the bottom bed, next to me, glueing her body to mine. It wasn't much, but being able to hold her close and feeling her hands on me had unspeakable effects on my mind: it wasn't just Bella's mental silence that was calming, but her touches too.

"So I had some thoughts while I was in the shower," she began.

"I am not surprised," I kissed her forehead. "Willing to share them with me?"

She nodded and I could tell with just a short glance towards her face that she was not only willing, but eager.

"Okay, one of those thoughts is more of a question than anything else."

"I'm all ears."

"So I've seen you fight both James and Victoria before, right?"

"Right."

"While you were a little too fast for me to comprehend what you were doing, I do remember thinking you were pretty good at it."

I had no idea where she was going with this - or whatever it was that brought her these certain thoughts in the first place.

"So my question was this: how did you do it? How long did it take for you to learn?"

"Well, I owe most of my fighting skills to Jasper," I answered immediately.

"I know, you've told me that before. But how?"

"Hundreds of hours of training, Bella."

"Which I assume were separated into weeks."

"Years even - you see, when Jasper joined our family, I almost envied him. He had been a major in the Confederate Army in his human days and he had fought in the Southern vampires wars after being turned, being one of the very few survivors. And as you know, my ambition as a human had been to become a soldier after turning 18. So when Jasper came along, it didn't take me long to ask him to teach me how to fight."

"You wanted to know what you've missed out on, I assume."

"Something like that - that, coupled with the rising tensions left after World War II in the vampire world, made me believe that it might not be the worst idea to learn some proper fighting techniques."

"What tensions? I thought that was a purely human war."

"And it was, love. But it wasn't just the Nazis that wanted to purge every being that didn't meet their absurd, inhumane standards. In the background of those conflicts, the Volturi got inspired and thought of… perfecting our kind."

There was no reason to hide the disgust in my voice.

"You see, they had this plan of removing those of us who had no gifts whatsoever."

"Like Rosalie and Emmett," she whispered.

"Exactly - this way, they could reduce our already small-population, making their surveillance mission much easier."

"But that sounds awful!"

"It was. Rumours of an incoming vampire war began to spread - if it wasn't for a whistleblower from the Volturi's guard, nobody would have known."

"So you wanted to be prepared to protect your family," she said.

"I couldn't risk losing anyone. But in the end, I didn't have to. The Volturi made it out to be one big misunderstanding when the word got out and they heard of the rebellions that were forming all around the world. Their reputation is everything to them. Having their plans disclosed without their will would have left a big stain on that reputation."

Bella remained silent for a while, taking everything in. Outside our house, the world was silent, the darkness barely humming - with the exception of one woman who was still awake, whose thoughts were one long stream of worrying about wolves coming too close to the camp.

"To get back to your initial questions: Jasper taught me how to fight. Learning how to do this took maybe a week at best. Perfecting my skills took years."

"Do you think you could have done it faster?"

"There is a learning curve, Bella. Learning the basics is really easy, but building on them doesn't happen overnight."

"What if you're training everyday?" she pressed.

"You are awfully curious today, aren't you?" I teased.

She laughed, but there was an edge hidden inside the crystalline sound. I needed to see her face, to get a peek at her emotions, so I snatched her from her comfortable place and positioned her in my lap.

"Tell me where this is all coming from," I requested, catching a stray strand of her hair between my fingers and placing it carefully behind her ear.

"Okay, but don't freak out, promise?"

I reached out to press my lips to her cheek, then further down, to the hollow of her neck.

"Promise," I said against her skin.

"I was thinking," - her voice was a little shaken from her suddenly irregular breathing pattern - "that since we are on the run and technically followed by the Volturi... it might be useful if you could teach me a thing or two about how to fight."

I almost froze in place, but I made an effort to hide my reaction from her and continued moving my mouth on her neck.

"It won't come down to that, Bella."

"I know you think it won't, but you can never be too prepared."

She tried to pull back and in response I pulled her closer. If we were going to have this conversation, I needed to remain calm.

"Please understand that this is not the time, nor the place for you to learn how to fight."

"It definitely is, Edward. If not now, when?"

Never, if possible. The thought of Bella trying to defend herself instead of letting me do it - even in her strong vampire form - was unacceptable and completely intolerable. Newborns were strong, but also awfully unpredictable. That exact unpredictability could be their fatal flaw. A moment of overconfidence could cost Bella her life - and mine, because there was no scenario in which I could continue to live on an Earth barren of her existence.

"Listen, I cannot even begin to imagine going out there with you and picture you as my opponent," I told her.

"But you can't hurt me now."

"That's not the point."

She pushed me away, to look me in the eyes.

"Please, listen to me for a minute here. I don't know what is going to happen, but let's say they somehow find us. What happens then? I should be able to protect myself, at least a little. It would be a lot better than standing there like an idiot, letting you do all the hard work and improvising moves in hopes not to get killed."

She unleashed on me the full power of her eyes, overthrowing my next argument. I needed my control back, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Besides, you cannot protect both of us," she went on, taking advantage of my momentary silence. "One of us could get killed so easily if you'll be the only one knowing how to fight. Can you imagine that possibility?"

I didn't want to, but I could. A life without her held no interest to me. It would have been pointless to even consider finding joy in her absence. Why was she torturing me?

"I think teaching me how to fight would be a small sacrifice compared to… anything else that could happen."

"Oh, Bella..."

Looking at her hurt. She knew just how to play her cards and I couldn't blame her. To see those scarlet eyes that were once chocolate-brown and to imagine a world without them was worse than burning through the nine circles of the inferno.

"I've never taught someone how to do this," I admitted.

"It's all right, you can be a good teacher - you've shown me how to hunt, remember?"

"I only gave you guidelines, you did the rest going by instinct."

She positioned her hands on each side of my face and subdued my stubbornness with her gaze.

"Please, Edward?"

I didn't respond. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to subdue her as well - only in a much different way.

I decided to save it for later.

"It can't hurt me to learn a few things and you know that," she continued.

This was impossible. I grabbed her shirt in my fist and closed my eyes, exhaling loudly.

"Please?"

Her hands were stronger than she realized as she held my face. I broke out of her grip carefully and opened my eyes. We stared at each other for a while, waiting for the other to surrender.

When that didn't happen, I finally spoke:

"We'll do this on my terms. Do you understand?"

Bella fought to suppress her grin, but didn't manage to.

"Of course," she answered without thinking. "What are your terms?"

"We will train as far away from humans as possible."

"Yes, that is only reasonable," she hurried to say. "Thank you for this!"

"I am not finished."

Her grin faded for a bit, waiting for me to continue.

"I will only teach you how to defend yourself, Bella. You don't need to know about being on the offensive side."

"But that is the whole poi-"

I pressed my index finger to her lips, to stop her complaint in the tracks.

"My terms, love. I make the rules, if you want me to teach you. Take it or leave it."

She frowned at me. I allowed my finger to slip to her bottom lip, feeling the plump flesh there.

"Fine, I'll take it," she mumbled under my finger.

"You might want to change your clothes for this," I said inattentively, too focused on her lips.

Bella looked down at her holey T-shirt.

"Fair enough, give me a minute," she said, disappearing from my arms.

I watched her as she changed, replacing her sweatpants with a pair of hiking pants that hugged the curves of her hips perfectly. She found a hoodie and a pair of hefty boots to complete her outfit - the combination made her look just like a tourist getting ready for a hike.

"I am ready to go," she said, after she put up her hair in a ponytail.

"Keep in mind we have two hours at best. The sun rises early here, a little after three A.M. and we need to be back before dawn. We don't want any early hikers seeing us in the sunlight."

Her soft sigh, filled with quiet resignation, sent a shiver down my spine.

I knew this wasn't the life any of us had expected when we got married and made our agreement for her change. She deserved her gap year in Cardiff. She deserved to be able to adjust to being a newborn at her own pace. She deserved to be happy and loved every single day. I wanted to offer her so much more than a life on the run. I wanted to give her more than this existence that damned us to live like fugitives, only going out after nightfall.

But alas, it was only after nightfall that we were safe in these doomed sunny places.

"Come on, let's find a place to do this right," I said lacklusterly, rising up from the bed.

And without a sound, she followed me outside and we dissolved into the night.

* * *

As small as it was, Belaya Gora had a skiing resort that was open late until March. Thankfully, we were close to the beginning of August, which meant that the modest slopes were all but abandoned.

If we would've had more time on hand, I might have gone the extra mile and I would have started the chair lift just for the fun of it. But since it was almost one in the morning and the sun was set to rise soon, our best option was running uphill.

When we arrived at the top, we found a wide plateau. It was nothing like what I had seen at other skiing resorts in the past. This plateau had only one tiny chalet, as a further testament to the small city vibes that Belaya Gora had.

"Let's try to not make too much of a mess here, okay?" I said, taking Bella's hand in mine and placing a kiss on it.

"I can try, but I have no idea what this training consists of."

"We'll figure it out along the way."

I kissed her forehead and let go of her hand, walking away from her, until there was a considerable distance between us. She remained unmoved, watching me carefully.

On our way to the plateau, I tried to go back in time, to the first days when Jasper began training me. I remembered the basics, but I also remembered how rough they could get. That wasn't a problem: our brotherly punches and kicks were fun, nothing more than a game that, at times, got Esme worried enough to ask us to stop. But with Bella, I had to remind myself not to get rough at any point - she might have been, for all intents and purposes, unbreakable, but my most primal instincts were still to protect her, no matter the cost.

"Since you are a newborn, love, your strongest traits are your speed and your strength," I said. "In a critical scenario, running away is your best bet to save yourself."

She nodded, allowing me to continue.

"But if you're a millisecond too late, running away is futile. That is when you will need to get defensive. Most of the time, the attackers go for the easiest kill when it comes to newborns."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that they will try to get you from behind and rip your body in half before you get to do anything else."

Bella's teeth sunk into her bottom lip and I wondered what was going through her mind at that moment.

"Allow me to demonstrate," I said, not wanting to take her by surprise and involuntarily scare her.

The next second, I was behind her, my arms locked around her body like a cage. She still gasped from shock.

"It's all right," I murmured. "Now show me how you would normally go about escaping my grip."

I heard her chuckle, then I blinked and she was no longer in my arms. She had used her force to break free from my strong embrace - as expected. Without a warning, her hand pushed me to the ground, on my back. In an instant I was back on my legs again, grabbing Bella by the waist and dragging her until our bodies met once again, in the same position as before.

"How did you-"

"You made it easy for me, love," I laughed in her ear. "You've used your strength, as your instinct told you to do, right?"

"Yes - and I had you for a second!"

"A second is not enough. You need to put me in a position where I cannot escape you, not vice-versa."

She looked up at me, seemingly displeased with her own failure.

"Okay, then what do I do?"

Gripping her a little tighter, I spoke:

"You'll want to bend forward from your waist first. Try to do it now."

And she did, in a movement so unanticipatedly sensual that it reminded me of anything but fighting with her.

"Like this?"

"Exactly like this," I answered, chasing away my excitement of having her perfect bottom pressed against me. "This will allow you some space to move. You will be able to throw your elbows from side to side in the direction of your attacker's face, to distract him and escape. But be careful about your escape - you'll want to twist around until you are behind your attacker, not in front of him. This way, you get to grab him and toss him to the ground, in a powerless position."

"Okay, I think I got it," she said. "Can I try?"

"Please do."

With that, she bent further and started replicating my instructions. I avoided her blows by letting her slip away. She twisted, elegant as a tigress, and grabbed me by my hips, trying to throw me to the ground. Instead, she ended up on the ground in my place, as I grabbed her wrists, turned around and flung her down.

"I don't understand! Where did I go wrong?"

"Grab me by my shoulders next time," I told her. "This way, it won't be as easy for me to dethrone your move."

When we tried again, I was the one who ended up on the ground - and I felt proud. We practiced a few more times, so that she could perfect her technique, before moving on to the next part of our lesson.

"Another easy kill consists of the attacker locking his arm against the victim's head and ripping it."

"Sounds unpleasant," she muttered.

"It is. Let me show you what I meant."

With as much care as possible, I clasped one arm around her neck and pushed her down into a crouching position.

"Many newborns have the instinct to bite in this position," I explained, as I held her down and caressed her face with my free hand. "Don't do that. Now if there is only one attacker, it'll be easier for you, because you'll be able to use your hands and your legs as well. Try to use your hand to throw a punch."

She did and I let her go. To my delight, she stepped behind me, as I had taught her with the previous move.

"Good job stepping behind me," I lauded her. "When you do that, use your legs to kick your opponent behind his knees, to get him down."

For a second, she looked unsure, and I didn't need to read her mind to understand her hesitation.

"Come on, Bella, there is no universe in which you can hurt me. Let's do this from the beginning."

And we did, and she made an effort to push away her indecision. This time, I ended up on the ground, with her coming on top of me with a victorious smile.

"Amazing," I breathed. "Why don't you try to do this without using your hands, as if there are multiple attackers holding you down?"

It took a couple of trials and errors, but Bella was a fast learner and this allowed us to try more techniques than I had expected. She was graceful, even in her faults: her body twisted and curled in on itself in ways I had never seen before, trying to defend herself against my made-up attacks. We ended up in all sorts of variations of her on top of me and me on top of her, laughing at how absurdly fun it all turned out to be.

Of course she tried to test my limits and begged me to teach her how to attack, not only how to defend. I couldn't allow it - if I even considered her plea, that meant accepting the possibility of a future in which I wasn't there to protect her. The mere thought was callous and unacceptable.

"Come on, just one tiny little move, Edward!" she asked right after she had me immobilized on the ground - it seemed that she had found her go-to technique.

"Forget it already."

With one snap motion, I slinked away from underneath her body, rising up. She remained there, at my feet, looking up at me. Her ponytail was tousled from our training, but her clothes intact.

"You've done good today, Bella," I told her, unable to resist grazing her silky lips with my finger. "Amazing actually."

The corners of her mouth rose up in a devastating smile.

"I've had a good teacher," she stated.

"Flattery won't change my mind, beautiful, I hope you know that."

Somewhere far away, I heard the forest murmuring - unusually loud for the late hour. Bella didn't seem to notice, her eyes having turned playful after my last response. She got up slowly on her knees, propping one innocent palm on my left hip.

"It's late," I murmured. "I think we're done for today."

"There's still a bit of time before the sun rises, right?"

She leaned further to press a soft kiss on my abdomen through my shirt, right above the waist of my jeans.

"Fifteen minutes at best," I responded.

The horizon was still pitch black to the west, protecting us in a veil of darkness - but not for long, judging by the soft glow announcing the morning to the east.

I tried to single out the small noises around us, in search for the cause behind the small disruption earlier. Nothing seemed to be there. Only Bella's accelerated breath through my shirt filled my ears.

"I don't know if I can wait for this until we get back," she whispered, her lips traveling further south.

She seemed surprised to find that I was already hard and ready beneath my jeans. It was impossible not to be, with her standing on her knees in front of me like that, a sight all too voluptuous to resist. She unzipped my jeans carefully, her eyes locked on mine. When my erection sprung free out of my pants, her gaze broke away and her lips parted with hunger. Slowly, she let her fingers wander through the wild patch of hair at the base of my shaft.

The anticipation grew inside me, thick and heavy. It made my entire body tense up, longing for liberation. The built up tension from our training showed. Bella took her time, despite us not really having enough time at hand, but I couldn't find a reason to stop her at that moment. I needed the wet warmth of her mouth, of her tongue on me.

I grabbed the nape of her neck, a little too eager for her to begin. She draped her tongue slowly on my shaft, covering the distance between my testicles to my tip. The movement set me alight in a second and I groaned.

The forest murmured again.

"I want to do this all day today," Bella muttered, her mouth sowing wet kisses around my tip.

"Agreed," I managed to say, incapacitated by the electricity surging in my veins.

She trailed off, back to the base of my member, driving me insane. I watched her as she closed her eyes and moaned slightly. This kind of teasing should have been illegal.

"You're making me run mad here, love," I said, knotting my fingers around her ponytail.

Bella seemed pleased by my remark and started moving her tongue between my testicles. My violent growl scared a few nearby creatures, awakening them from their sleep.

The unknown murmur grew closer, adorned with a whirring sound. It forced me to move my eyes from the beautiful sight of my wife and search the darkness. I couldn't see anyone. I couldn't hear anyone. The only scent in my airways was Bella's: lavender dripping with molten sugar.

She seemed undisturbed in her mission. It was admittedly difficult to pay attention to something other than her mouth on me - almost impossible. But as more seconds passed, I couldn't deny it anymore: there was something in the woods.

"I love your taste," Bella's words set my mind spinning in a million directions, unplaiting the most carnal fantasies of me and her and driving away my reason.

I pulled hard on her hair, unable to resist longer, forgetting about the world around us. Feeling my urgency, she took me in her mouth, swallowing me slowly, inch by inch.

"Yes, Bella, yes..."

I felt her hum of pleasure reverberating in my penis and I couldn't help it: using the hand that was tied in her hair, I forced her down until her lips touched my testicles. Had she been human, this would have been not only hurtful, but she would have probably choked as well, out of instinct. Tears would have pooled in the corners of her eyes from the pain. But being a vampire, she only lodged her fingernails in my hips and rose her eyes up to me, to watch my reaction.

"Does it feel good when I am in this deep?" my voice was low and guttural, barely reminiscent of how I normally sounded. This was a voice that only she and I knew.

Bella nodded her head to signal an elated 'yes' and I held her there, not wanting to move, perfectly content, swathed completely in her mouth. I could smell how wet she was. The scent was potent and sweet, burning on the tip of my tongue.

Through my heavy eyelids, I saw that the sky was a shade lighter in the east, reminding me of the impending sunrise.

I flinched when the rumble of the forest returned, almost as if I someone woke me up from a deep trance. It was closer now, unnervingly so. With the same hand I used to keep myself deep in Bella's throat, I slowly separated my body from her, to listen closer. The sounds did not belong to an animal. But they couldn't belong to a person either, because there were no accompanying thoughts.

"What's going on?"

Bella seemed both confused and upset, judging by her voice. In less than a second, I hid my erection back in my jeans and closed the zipper, all the while pulling Bella up and behind me.

"Edward?"

"We're not alone," I breathed. "Stay behind me."

This made no sense and my brain tried hard to process the unknown. Bella hugged me from behind, looking over my shoulders, scanning the shadows.

Freed from the heavenly cage of her lips, I could concentrate a little better. I could now understand that the source of the rumble was not the forest itself, but the racing footsteps of someone. I heard the calm breathing behind the effort and I sensed the icy undertone in the approaching smell: whoever it was, the creature was one of our kind.

It felt like ages, not mere seconds, had passed until an unknown figure emerged from the darkness. My arms held Bella in place behind me, ready to get rid of whoever dared to approach her.

The figure stopped in place, still in the cover of the trees, as if something took it by surprise. The silence of its mind was deafening, upturning my every instinct. Why couldn't I hear its thoughts? This felt wrong in every possible way.

Before I got to find a resolution to my confusion, the figure detached from the shadows, this time with confidence, stepping towards us. My jaws clenched and I felt ready to attack. But my instincts got tilted once again when I realized that the figure was, in fact, a girl. Small and frail, barely five feet in height and unnaturally thin, the girl couldn't have been older than an eighth-grader.

Her ginger eyes glowered from underneath a misshaped fringe and I shook my head in disbelief. Then, just as I was getting ready to open my mouth, the girl spoke first:

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

**If you have any thoughts - small or big, positive or critical - about this chapter or the story in general, it would be my utmost delight to read them :)!**


	12. Meeting

"If you could stop staring and start speaking, that would be nice."

The feisty stranger kept her distance when she spoke again. The silence of her thoughts felt daunting. Her mind was just as quiet as Bella's, who was now gripping me tighter, holding her breath. She looked harmless enough, but I couldn't take her appearance for granted, especially not when I couldn't guess her true intentions.

I didn't know this particular girl. I had seen younger vampires before, even met a few throughout the years. I had heard of Jane and Alec from the Volturi's guard, who were only 12 when they got turned - but the description of Jane's appearance did not match that of the vampire in front of us.

"Why don't you start, kid?" I offered on an even tone, while my mind was busy running in a hundred different directions at once, in hopes that I might catch a clue to a hidden path of thoughts from the outsider.

It was the best offer I could give her. After all, she was alone and there were two of us. She was outnumbered and she had to understand that.

"You're the one trespassing and doing weird shit on my territory, so you go. Besides, I asked first."

Somewhere hidden in her voice I could sense the slightest accent. It was an accent I was all too familiar with, one that I grew up with: she was a Chicagoan. What was she doing here, in the middle of nowhere? Of course she had the same question for us, but that was a different story. And more importantly: was she alone?

Her eyes looked incredulous and annoyed as they shifted from me to Bella and back.

"Fair enough," I said, stepping in my role. "My name is Thomas Langdon. This is my fiancée, Rosemary Baker."

"It is nice to meet you," Bella said, her voice warm from behind me.

The girl watched us with scrutinizing eyes. She remained unmoved and I couldn't begin to guess what she wanted to say next. Maybe she was going to introduce herself as well now. Maybe she was going to tell us what she had meant earlier by saying "her territory". Or maybe she was going to explain why the hell I had no access to her mind.

The one thing I did not expect was for her to spew this:

"Liar."

"Excuse me?" I raised my brows, glimpsing the horizon getting warmer in the background.

"Those are not your names, so tell me who you actually are and what you are doing here. This is my place."

My immediate instinct had been to keep the charade going, so I went for it:

"I am afraid I don't know what you are talking about."

"And I am afraid I can sense bullshit from miles."

Intuition? That was the gift of this annoying kid? It wouldn't have been the first time I met someone like this. But intuition never came packaged with the bonus of an unreadable brain. There had to be more, something I was missing.

"Look, stranger, the sun is minutes away from rising, and we were leaving," I said, unwilling to continue whatever game she was playing. "You can tell us who you are - or not. It is all the same to me, but my fiancée and I are heading back."

The girl frowned, obviously displeased. Bella broke my grip and came beside me, but I locked my arm against her waist, keeping her as close to me as possible.

"We mean no harm, really," Bella said and immediately raised her eyes to me.

I met her gaze and in one second I guessed all the questions hidden there. She didn't know if _I_ really meant no harm, as she did. She didn't understand why the girl called me a liar. She didn't understand why I hadn't used my gift already to sort this peculiar meeting out.

"Your name is Bella," the odd creature said and I froze in place; she moved her ginger eyes to me before going on. "I can hear you, you know? It's a nice gift you've got."

And just like that, my stream of consciousness went wild.

The kid heard _me_?

Could she hear me _now_?

Was there an off-switch?

But the most burning question was this: why couldn't I hear _her_?

"I'm 15, by the way, so not a kid," she snickered. "I still don't know your name."

Suddenly, it became next to impossible to stop my brain from hiding that simple fact about me.

"Ah," the girl smiled when my subconscious slipped. "Edward was the name of my grandfather. I barely remember him though."

I felt Bella's body tensing up inside my embrace.

"What is your name?" my wife demanded.

"Eleanor - but that's boring, so Nell."

We stood there for a moment that seemed to last forever, with the sun creeping closer, getting ready to erupt from the horizon. I fought between the potent impulse to learn more about the young vampire and the need to get back to the house, to seek cover from sunlight before any hikers could see us.

In the end, the sensible part of me won.

"As I was telling, we have to get going," I announced.

"I wasn't finish-"

"I don't care," I cut her right in the middle, before taking Bella's hand in mine. "Let's go, the sun is rising."

My wife didn't need more explanations to understand. We started running together downhill and took a shortcut through the woods. Not once did I let go of her hand. The road back to the house flew right by us, the forest barely awakening from its sleep as we whooshed past the trees and above the ground. I expected the girl to follow us, but she didn't.

In the two minutes it took us to arrive back to the cabin, I had plenty of time to think.

I tried to make sense of our strange encounter. Whoever this Nell was, she could read my mind - and for whatever reason, I couldn't read hers. The oddity enraged me, but not enough to go back and track her for more explanations.

She had referred to the mountain plateau as her "territory". That struck me as particularly bizarre. The colour of her eyes and her lack of a companion were obvious proof of her being a nomad, thus unable to maintain a permanent residence. But I could be wrong: her creator might have simply been away for the moment.

How much did she make out of my thoughts, beyond seeing through the false names charade? I was confident that I had kept all the other details - me and Bella being on the run, our family scattered throughout the world, the Volturi having us followed - hidden in a chamber far enough away in my brain.

The people from the small camp were just beginning to wake up when Bella and I arrived. Our host was still lost in a drunken sleep. The first rays of sun touched our skin for the shortest of seconds, lighting it up, before we got inside.

"She didn't come after us, right?" Bella breathed, peeking out through the window, pulling the improvised curtain away.

"No, we would have felt her scent if she did," I said and I dragged her away from there, pulling the sheet back. "Please stay away from the windows."

"Should we call Alice?"

"Most definitely."

But before either of us did anything, my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and saw Alice's name flashing on the screen ominously.

"I saw you wanted to call," she skipped past 'hello' as soon as I answered. "I wanted to call as well."

"Glad we're in sync."

"Jasper and I just landed in Cusco. I had a vision up in the air - how late am I?"

"Minutes late. What did you see?"

A voice talking in Spanish announced something about baggage claim on the other end.

"I saw you tracking some vampire kid I've never seen in my life and going all Spanish Inquisition on her. Does this make any sense to you?"

"Yes, except I didn't do that."

 _In the end_ , I completed in my head. Alice stopped for what seemed like a long time and I knew that she was analyzing glimpses of the near future.

"You're not going after her," she inferred.

"Not planning on it. She is probably just a nomad and we happened to cross paths. This happens."

"I can't see her clearly yet."

"Did you catch anything about her in that vision you had - anything she said?"

I wondered why I avoided telling Alice about the outlandish ability of the kid to keep me out of her head. I wasn't ashamed, only frustrated. Relying on mind-reading was something that lied at the very core of my being. It was my error-free way of understanding those around me and sensing danger. Being kept out went against my comfort zone and my survival instincts.

But I wasn't ashamed. Of course I wasn't.

"Only her name: Nell."

"That I already know," I grumbled.

"It seemed that she wanted to warn you two about something, but I didn't catch it. It ended too abruptly."

The warning part seemed easy enough to guess: all that talk about 'her territory', whatever she meant by that. But nomads couldn't really claim territories, it went against logic. It didn't surprise me that a teenager would claim such an absurd privilege.

"Okay, forget about this, you need to tell me about the Volturi, Alice," I requested, trying to focus on the real problem.

"Yes, about _that_..."

I recognized the edge in her voice - she had it each time she tried to drag along an inevitable discussion. Of course it never worked with me, but that was when we were face to face.

"Just spill it," I hissed.

"They found nothing of interest in Denali - besides that note we left behind, asking the Denalis not to call us. Caius pondered whether that was incriminatory enough, but Aro seemed to be in a good mood and shut him out. So they decided to go back to Italy for the time being."

"And what are they doing now?"

"I'm not sure, Edward, there are too many variables. It goes back between them taking a break from tracking us, them going back to chasing us and… sending Demetri."

I felt every single muscle in my body contract upon hearing his name. Demetri was the Volturi's best instrument when it came to tracking. They used him when they _really_ wanted to find someone.

"They're still monitoring the news about Elijah right now. Depending on what he says next - if he says something next - they'll make a decision."

"Let's say he doesn't say anything: how set in stone is it that they will leave us alone?"

"You know nothing is set in stone," she complained.

"Humour me."

Hesitation slowed her down for a moment.

"It's kind of a fifty-fifty situation," she eventually admitted. "There are too many possibilities at this point, I cannot give you something more specific. I am really sorry."

I didn't realize I was rubbing the bridge of my nose out of stress until I felt Bella's hand in my hair, stroking it carefully, in a way that felt incredibly comforting.

"Call me when things get clearer, all right?" I said.

"You know it."

It took all my will not to throw the telephone to the other side of the room after I hung up. I knew I would need it later.

If there was something worse than Alice having a faulty vision every now and then, it was her having too many visions in a row to count. While she couldn't exactly help it, it wasn't any less annoying. I found myself foolishly hoping Alice could get a software update.

Or maybe I was the one in desperate need of such an update, since a small part of my brain was still busy executing tumbles, trying to process the fact that my gift hadn't worked on that girl.

"So what happens now?" Bella asked.

"We stick to moving around - or not. It might be safe to linger here a little longer, while they decide. I really can't tell."

The anguish in my voice seemed to startle her and she reached out to press her palms on either side of my face. This helped - her touching me always helped.

"Maybe we'll have a week here, Bella. I can't promise anything."

"This could be a good thing - it offers us a bit of a headstart with the training, you know?"

I nodded mindlessly. A headstart could be a good thing. It was waiting for the Volturi to make a decision that I didn't like.

"Maybe we can find that girl again and-"

"She is probably just a nomad, no reason to go looking for her," I interrupted.

"Something was disturbing her, I could tell. Maybe she needs help?"

It was impossible not to roll my eyes. I knew Bella had an unending spring of goodwill running freely inside her. As much as I loved her for this, the timing of her benevolence was extremely ill-placed.

"She is perfectly fine, Bella."

"Can you vouch for that?"

Her words took me aback for a second. Mostly because I couldn't, in fact, be so sure of what I was saying. Bella had seen my struggle earlier, on the mountain, and her eyes told me that she wasn't going to let it slide.

"I can't," I admitted and she didn't need more explanations, because whatever theory she had formed in her mind, it was confirmed.

"Why do you think you couldn't hear her?" she asked.

"For the very unknown reason I can't hear you either."

"But she did hear _you_ , right?"

"It seemed like she did."

"That is so freaky! I wonder why."

I wondered that too. But Nell wasn't my priority, which meant I couldn't allow myself to dwell on our bizarre meeting longer than I had already done. She was nothing more than an entitled teen, for all I knew.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "No harm, no foul, after all. Can we just forget about it, please?"

She flashed me a disbelieving smile, but agreed nonetheless. I pondered over when she was going to bring the subject up again.

"Okay, then I'll go clean up a little," she announced. "I'm covered in dirt and grass from head to toe."

A quick glance assured me that she was right. Her clothes were crumpled and stained lightly, and her hair a wild mess, congested with grass threads.

I succeeded in suppressing a laugh.

"I don't know how you've managed to get out of this with your clothes wrinkle-free," she sneered.

"Well, for once, I am not a savage," I teased her.

"Just a big show-off."

"I'm simply a little more experienced than you are, Bella."

"What an understatement."

Just as she was turning around to go to the bathroom, I swept her feet off the wooden floor and took her in my arms. A yell escaped from her throat, but it swiftly faded into a chain of giggles.

"You know, I believe we've got some unfinished business," I said, drawing a line of kisses from her ear to the hollow of her neck.

"Oh, we do..." her words came in a beautiful suspiration, while her hands started to open the buttons of my shirt - we were learning to be patient with taking our clothes off, to avoid shopping for new stuff; she was a little better at this particular task than I was.

We were already in the bathroom by the time she finished her sentence. It was clearly a space intended for only one person. I quickly took mental notes of the slight cracks and weak spots in the structure, so that I could avoid bumping into them.

I let Bella down on the floor and she was quick to continue her endeavor of undressing me. We were back to where we left off on the mountain plateau before I could blink twice.

* * *

If making love to Bella after her transformation had taught me anything, it was this: she was practically unappeasable. I could offer her the longest string of orgasms - watching as she succumbed to the most divine rapture again and again, hearing her crying out my name - and at the end of it all, she would still whisper 'More'. And by God, I gave her more. Had I been a human male, I would have found it an impossible mission to cater to such a voracious appetite.

Luckily for both of us, I was just as hungry for Bella.

And when I had her, our bodies sang tales that could only be explained by witchcraft. It wasn't just the zenith of the act, when I finally got to spill my venom wherever I could inside and outside her body, that brought me tremendous joy, but the act itself as well. For there was nothing more holy, nothing more exquisite than the delectation of melting my body into hers, forgetting which limbs belong to me and which limbs belong to her, discovering new pleasures and taking delight in the old ones. The sounds we made together were better than all the symphonies in my music collection. Her moans were the violins in the composition, always harmonizing perfectly, as if rehearsed, to the double bass of my groans.

This music held a power over me that made me forget about everything. Hearing it made every other sound disappear: if there was ever someone nearby, the sound of their thoughts was suffocated and forgotten. The only thoughts I would have loved to drown in were Bella's. I craved to know where her mind went in these precious moments, when she felt me disappear in her body. When I loved her slowly. When I went rough on her. When her climax hit. When I didn't offer her time to recover before ravishing her once more. When she heard me whisper sweet obscenities in her ear.

It was difficult to find a good enough reason to stop - I never wanted to stop. If I could love Bella to the end of times, I would have and I would die a happy man. But our bliss always had a time limit, which was set either by the outside world or by Bella's thirst for blood. Today it was the latter.

We were on the floor, close to the bunk bed and shrouded in the muted light of the twilight, entangled in such a way that we could both please the other with our mouths. My lips were wet from her delicious array of orgasms, while Bella had her tongue around my tip, slowly summoning me to come again. It was then that I heard a low growl growing in her chest - most certainly not a growl of pleasure.

"Everything all right, my love?" I checked carefully.

She nodded 'yes' and resumed her mission. I shrugged and went back to slowly pushing the tip of my tongue in and out of her. Her sap coated my taste buds with its magnificent taste and I found myself wanting to feed on this and only this, never to taste one drop of blood again.

Bella's next groan alerted me that something was most definitely not right. I stopped immediately and pulled her from where she was positioned, so that I could see her face. Her eyes were the first thing that I noticed: they were just a shade darker than the usual crimson.

"You're thirsty," I inferred.

"It's not so bad, it barely stings," she hurried to say. "I want to go back to what we were doing."

I chuckled, but I was not amused, and held her in place when she tried to prop herself back.

"I am not doing anything with you until you are fed and satiated," I said. "You need to enjoy this as much as I do."

"But I _am_ enjoying myself!"

"Not the way you should."

"Come on, I hunted two days ago..."

"Your thirst doesn't have a clock now, does it?"

Before she could protest further, I was up and dressing myself. Bella frowned at me when I gave her a set of clean clothes from our luggage. She crossed her arms at her chest and watched me with a look of defiance.

"You know how I love to see you naked, Bella, but I am not a big fan of anyone else seeing you like this, so please be good and dress up, so we can go."

Eventually, she obliged, albeit unenthusiastically. I tried to cheer her up, telling her that I will join her in hunting this time, marking our first hunting trip _together_. The last time I had hunted myself was the night of the accident, when Emmett went with me.

The details of that night were muffled by the memory of finding Bella and Alice on the side of the road, but I could still remember vividly what came before: the unspoken desperation after tasting the blood of those bears, that took over me as a painful reminder that nothing could come close to the Eden of feasting on my beloved during her last day as a human. It was the accident that brought me my sanity back - yet a significant part of me was afraid to hunt again.

I didn't want to burden Bella with this selfish and irrational worry. Maybe this time it was going to be different, after all. It _had_ to be. Besides, before heading out the door, we had a more important disturbance to deal with, one that could not be postponed any longer: letting Charlie know that we had left Forks for good, without visiting him.

As expected, it didn't go well. Charlie was in a good mood when Bella called, as he had taken one day off work and he was getting ready to go fishing. His sweet disposition got shattered when his daughter told him that she wasn't going to see him again too soon. His surprise turned to worry in a few seconds - then his worry turned to anger even quicker.

He shouted at Bella. Hearing the ever-calm Charlie Swan lose his temper like that was both surprising and unnerving. But what truly got me were Bella's eyes, so forlorn and filled with unspoken sorrow, when she heard him. I wanted to take the phone from her hand and tell Charlie that no father should ever talk to his daughter like that - especially when that daughter was Bella. Of course I had no right to talk, since I was never going to know the intricacies of what being a father meant. But did I have to know those intricacies to recognize that what he was doing was wrong and hurting my wife?

Bella offered one excuse after another: none good enough, none redeemable. But beyond his shouting, I knew Charlie loved Bella more than anything. As much as he was hurting her, he was hurting as well. The last time he had seen her he was fraught with questions regarding her well-being and my intentions. I wanted him to understand that his daughter was everything to me, that she was more precious than life itself, that - if it came to that - I could happily wave goodbye to my existence to save her. But it was impossible to explain any of this to him without revealing my true nature, and knowing this burned like a thousand fires.

It seemed like forever had passed when Bella hung up her phone. We didn't say a word, but we didn't have to. I held her in my arms for a few endless minutes, until she pulled away.

"He probably hates me right now," she uttered.

She pressed her teeth hard against her lower lip, as if trying to rip through it.

"No sane person could hate you, Bella."

"I don't know about that."

"Your father will forgive you," I murmured, tracing the shape of her cheek with my palm.

"He's getting used to it by now," she pouted.

When we exited the house, the purple shadows of the twilight still lingered on every surface. A few hikers were coming back and I held Bella's hand with such force that she looked up to me with a confused look on her face. I had grown to accept that slip-ups could happen anytime and that I could never be too careful with her. It was a fine line I was walking on - the one between being protective and being a tyrant - but I tried to make it work.

We headed south-west, towards the village of Abyy, where we sensed the commanding smell of lynxes, our road lightened only by the full moon rising slowly above our heads. Bella remained behind, so that I could lead the way to the point where we would be the furthest from the human population. The rush of the running helped me clean my thoughts, if only a little. _This was going to be a good hunting trip, no mistakes, no breakdowns_. I could feel in every bone of my body that it was going to be perfectly fine this time. I would focus my attention on Bella, watch her hunting in order to distract me from any possible outbursts.

My breath got stuck in the back of my throat when I felt in the air the ghost of the sawdust and moss scent I felt in the camp one day earlier. For an incommensurably short second, it overpowered the fragrance of the lynxes. Then just as it came, it was gone. When I looked over my shoulder at Bella to catch her reaction, she didn't even flinch. The phantom scent got caught in the wind before it could reach her.

I shrugged it off once more, as the night creeped in upon us and the forest grew thicker. We were getting closer now, close enough to hear the low purr of the lynxes hunting. The night was the time they were most active, daytime being too conspicuous for their attacks - much like vampires.

Bella and I doubled upon their track, to avoid being heard too soon. They were following the scent of a herd of sleeping deer. Their senses combined to make them some of the stealthiest predators in Siberia. Unfortunately, they were still not at the top of the food chain. The powerful lynxes had an Achilles' heel, like almost any species - and it was us: the ultimate apex predators.

When we got closer, I made a silent motion to Bella to split directions, so that we could make a double strike. She disappeared between the trees like a night nymph and I heard the delicate echo of her titter reverberate around me.

I let my feet and my nose guide me, and it wasn't long until I saw the glowering profiles of three lynxes closing in on their prey. Bella was right there, just a few meters away, on the other side of the animals. I raised three fingers in the air and began a silent countdown.

 _Three_.

The lynxes were crouching on their forelegs, their snouts closer to the ground. They were almost as silent as us, only their jagged breaths warming the soil divulging them. The deer had no idea.

 _Two_.

Bella's eyes were moving fast between me and the three predators. I saw the delicate muscles underneath her skin clenching, craving, awaiting. She was ready. I bowed, making no effort to swallow the abundance of venom in my mouth.

 _One_.

We launched one second before the lynxes got to jump on their prey. Their feral roars ripped through the night and somewhere not far away a wolf howled in return. My hands grabbed one lynx by the throttle, while holding the other down with my leg. I twisted the animal's neck and its whimper was the ultimate sound it made before breathing one last breath. I rushed to kill its partner as well and caught a glimpse of Bella, bent over the lifeless body of the third lynx, getting ready to sink her teeth through its fur. The deer, awakened from their peaceful sleep, started running past us, their most unlikely saviours.

With my eyes still glued on Bella, I bit the first lynx. My teeth pierced through its fur, its skin and the doughy layers of fat underneath, until they punctured a large artery. The blood inundated my mouth instantly, still brimming with warmth. I couldn't help but moan loudly, as I let the liquid wash over my tongue and slither down my throat.

My brain allowed me exactly one moment of relief before bringing me back to where I had been with Emmett the night of the accident. This blood was good. This blood was thick. This blood was pure. But it was still a poor travesty compared to the memory of drinking Bella's blood. Her blood had been narcotic and sweet, silkier than raw honey and laced with flowers from another world - the lushest Heaven imaginable.

This was barely a low budget Purgatory.

Bella's eyes were closed as she drank from the animal, unaware of the fact that she was being watched. She was a sight to behold, with her hair flowing like a mahogany curtain on the dead lynx, her snow-white fingers sinking deep in the soil as her thirst was gradually being quenched. _Beautiful, so very beautiful_.

I forced myself to swallow another mouthful of blood. The phantasm of her taste lingered somewhere deep inside me, reminding me how nothing could be as good as her, how I could never be satisfied, how I had had the chance to drink more of her blood and didn't take it. The reminder angered me. But looking at Bella, my thoughts began to quiver ever so slightly.

Had I taken the chance to savour her blood fully, she wouldn't have been here with me. Her body would have been buried under an ordinary rock, in a cemetery that didn't deserve her. Had I succumbed to my most sinful wishes when I had the chance, I wouldn't have been here either, for a life without Bella was nothing but a long and pointless encumbrance.

There was no alternate universe in which the monster could have won. As this thought hit me, I began to understand that there had never even been a monster in the first place - only my own carnal desire, pushing me to want what I had no right to want so badly, encouraging me to dissociate and put myself above my cravings. In reality, I had never been above them.

We had always been the same, the monster and I. Two parts of a whole, childishly refusing to coexist. I sighed and welcomed him in, taking him in my arms, becoming one with him. He was not so bad as I feared, just scared. My now whole conscience understood that there was no point in mourning the lost blood. Without it, there would've been no chance of happily ever after - as happy as the gloomy circumstances allowed - with Bella. Bella, the love of my life. Bella, my only reminder that beneath the porous rock I was made of, I still had my humanity. Bella, my alpha and omega.

 _God, how I love her!_ Her eyes opened all of a sudden and met mine. The slight shock of realizing she was being watched faded and gave way to a warmth I was all too familiar with. She held my gaze and we swallowed in unison. The corners of my mouth lifted in a smile she couldn't see. This blood wasn't so bad. It wasn't amazing, but it was something better than that: it was _enough_.

Bella lifted herself after draining her lynx, and I pointed with my finger towards the other animal. She needed it more than I did. I exalted when I saw her biting into its fur and feeding again. _So beautiful_.

By the time I was finished, my wife was still drinking. She was taking her time, savouring this. I wanted to take my time as well and spoil myself by admiring her. But just as I was propping myself against a tree, that damned sawdust and moss smell returned. I breathed in, my senses sharpened by the blood in my system. It was annoyingly faint and it seemed to disappear with the wind.

I listened, zeroing in on the sounds I was hearing: Bella's sweet 'mmm's, the leaves dancing wherever the wind led them, a river flowing rapidly in the distance. Just another night in the woods. But my momentary repose crashed when I heard a low grunting and the sound of paws hitting the ground. The sounds the paws made were irregular: almost as if the animal had two of its limbs replaced by pointy stumps. The peculiar smell came and went, but the noise grew impossibly closer.

 _Nothing but an animal_ , I assured myself - yet my body seemed to know better, because I stood up, my fists closed. Bella wasn't finished, but I encircled her waist with my arms and pulled her up. She groaned as a protest and I wanted to explain to her that something felt off, but I didn't get the chance - the leaves behind me rustled and, as I turned around, pushing Bella behind me, I froze.

The creature standing in front of my eyes was unlike anything I had ever seen. Nine feet tall and covered in coal-black fur, it was half standing up, half crouching, with its forelegs hanging by its body, much like an ape's. What I was so convinced were stumps of actual limbs were something worse: long fingers, grotesquely reminiscent of a human's, ending with razor-sharp claws.

The beast's head was an atrocity, like a failed lab experiment: it was an unholy blend of human and wolf, with long pointy ears and dark grey skin, coated in an unruly layer of fuzz. It had a snout like that of a wolf, yet flattened and misshaped, with a wide and awry mouth, that had way too many teeth inside. The eyes were the most surprising - for they were obviously, unequivocally, the eyes of a man.

As I took in every detail I could in the span of one second, I realized I knew what this abomination was.

Carlisle had told me stories about its kind decades ago.

It was so different from a Quileute shapeshifter.

The vile James had hunted one such creature across Siberia, with no luck.

The Volturi feared nothing _but_ this beast.

Caius almost got killed by one millennia ago.

My epiphany hit me with the force of an atomic bomb. We were standing in front of a Child of the Moon. The true original werewolf.

The creature howled just once, breaking the night in half with the sound, before launching at us.


	13. Chasing

I had exactly one nanosecond to throw Bella behind me with all my force, her body wheezing through the air like a bullet and taking down a line of trees in its flight. The werewolf already had me on the ground the next moment. Its sawdust stench was clear and powerful now, as it breathed heatedly a few inches away from my face.

I heard Bella calling out my name, but all I managed to get out was a frantic 'Run!'. I then turned away just in time, so that the beast bit the ground instead of my face. Dirt shot out from its teeth, along with another roar, and I used its fury as a shallow distraction to skid away from its grip.

"Run the other way!" I hollered towards Bella, before soaring through the wall of leaves on my right, looking behind to make sure the werewolf was following me. To my relief, it was.

There was no time to think things through more. The beast howled behind me, as it ran using all of its limbs, its claws barely touching the trail. Did I have a plan beyond outrunning it and leading it on a different route?

While darting between the trees, I forced myself to remember what I knew about this creature. A small part of my brain took me back to a particular autumn night, in 1956. Eisenhower had just got reelected as President of the United States. There were fireworks lighting up the street where my family and I lived. That night, we had had the strangest visitor: his name was Abraham, but Carlisle called him Abe. They were old friends, both of them having been part of the Volturi coven during the same time. Abe left Italy soon after Calisle, in search of a greater purpose that he never found.

Their discussions had stretched far into the night. As much as I tried to offer them the privacy of catching up by playing the piano downstairs, I still caught glimpses of their dialogue and their thoughts - a few in particular being of paramount importance.

"You will never guess what happened, old chap," Abe said at some point.

"I am sure you will surprise me, as usual."

"Remember those creatures we stumbled upon in Norway, back in the good old days?"

" _I remember Caius refusing to go with us,_ " Carlisle thought to himself. " _They sure had been hard to kill._ "

"Quite unforgettable, I'm afraid. Children of the Moon, were they?"

"Damned demons, chap!"

"What about them?"

"I had one follow me over the ocean a few years ago."

Carlisle's mind flooded in an instant with distress - distress that was so out of character for him. I didn't even realize I had stopped playing at that moment.

"How are you here now, friend?," he murmured.

"I led it straight to Italian lands and the Volturi took care of it. After four almost-deaths, that's what saved me."

 _Four almost-deaths_. Suddenly, I was back in the woods, with the beast grunting behind me, as if possessed. The distance between us grew smaller and I couldn't afford to dwell on its excessive speed, almost better than mine. I jumped into a fir, making it rain needles from the impact. In no time, the werewolf was up as well, inches away from my foot. I tried kicking its snout and it didn't take me long to understand why that had been a bad idea. Its mouth divided in half, revealing the glistening rows of teeth, and bit the first thing it encountered - which so happened to be my pants. The material ripped and fell to the ground, leaving my leg exposed up to the knee.

I jumped immediately to the tree that seemed to be the furthest, yet still reachable from where I was. If I could do this a dozen of times in a row before disappearing into the forest, it could be enough to distract the beast. But as I jumped to the next tree top, I felt the hot breath of the animal on the nape of my neck. How the hell was it so fast?

Maybe running wasn't the key with this creature. I was down on the ground before deciding what to do next. The werewolf followed me just a second too late - enough to allow me to pick up momentum and attack. I threw myself at it, knocking it down. Its muscles contracted under its thick fur, tougher than steel, and I lodged my hand deep in its throat. I felt its iron-hard ligaments breaking and blood began to pool over my hand. The werewolf barked painfully, deceiving me into believing that I got it. Next thing I knew, its claws were on my back, gripping me tighter and shredding my shirt to bits.

Then I smelled something I never should have smelled: Bella's scent, a few feet away. Lost in the rush of the chase, I hadn't sensed her following me here.

"Get the hell away!" I shouted, too agitated to care about being polite.

The werewolf didn't like my shouting. Its claws grinded against my bare back, making a screeching sound that could have awakened the dead. Looking down at the beast, I saw that the wound on its neck was already healing.

"You leave him alone!" Bella's voice was raw and adamant and a couple of curse words slipped through my lips when I saw her spring in front of me, inches away from the werewolf's head.

_No, no, no! Was she completely suicidal?_

In the worst turn of events imaginable, the monster got distracted by her. Everything happened too fast. Bella kicked the werewolf in its eye with the stumpy heel of her boot. I used my free hand to grab her ankle and throw her once again away from the danger. She was back immediately. The werewolf's wound was no longer there. I felt my body twisting at an unusual angle when the animal rolled in the grass, until I was underneath it.

I cursed again, before bawling towards Bella again:

"Run, for God's sake!"

But she didn't. Instead, she launched on the back of the beast before I could catch her and prevent her heroics. The werewolf erupted in another howl and I felt its hot saliva dripping on my face. I kicked it in its loins, trying to get back a small advantage by distracting it from Bella. It barely seemed to notice, too preoccupied with what was happening behind it: my wife trying to bite her way through its coarse fur.

_No doubt about it: she was suicidal._

I couldn't hurt the werewolf without hurting Bella, as long as she was still standing on its back. Stuck between me and her, the creature didn't seem to feel overpowered - only annoyed. Its wriggling to get Bella off its back allowed me to slide to the side.

It didn't take me long at all to realize my colossal mistake. The werewolf stood up and threw my wife on the ground before I managed to snatch her away. Its eyes - so painfully human - glistened when it stormed to her. My roar overthrew all the other sounds when I pounced on the monster. I tugged hard on its fur, ripping portions of the skin underneath, dragging its body away from Bella.

The beast cried out a long, lamentable sound, but the gashes were already recovering before my eyes. Was there no stopping with this thing? My eyes locked with Bella for the shortest moment before the werewolf rolled over me, dragging me through the grass and drooling over me in its path.

Things were happening too fast to process again. I saw Bella rushing back to where I was. The werewolf's body felt almost heavy above mine. Its fur tasted bad, almost metallic, when I bit its shoulder. Its claws made horrific sounds on my skin. Then through the haze of the battle I heard a voice that was neither mine, nor Bella's:

"Hey, barf bag! How do you like this?"

I recognized the entitlement in the tone quickly. Just as I was trying to compose my next move, I saw flames lighting up the air above, right above the werewolf's head. I used all my force to break away from its grip, just in time to escape the burning fire. I was up and standing, amazed by what I saw. The werewolf was now kneeling and wailing, its claws grasping at the grass, as fireballs of various sizes landed on its fur and withered.

On the other side I saw Nell, holding a sachet in one hand and lighting up cotton balls dipped in gasoline with the other. And there it was again: her unnerving quietness - but there was no time to dwell on that.

Bella was right next to me, watching the scene with horrified eyes. I took her hand in mine and we took a step back, just as one fireball wheezed past us and landed on a piece of dry soil. It had no time to touch any of us, but it was a hauntingly close call. My mortified expression seemed to amuse Nell.

"This ugly dog hates fire!" she explained, as she continued her mission, driving the beast insane with her fire attack.

"We're not big fans of fire either!" my voice was scandalized.

She rolled her eyes.

"You can put it out before it does anything to you."

I stepped away, motioning Bella to follow me. Soon we found ourselves standing next to the strange girl. In front of us, the awful creature was writhing and groaning, trying to escape the flames. It moved painfully slowly on all fours, bending at unusual angles and crawling in search for a non-existent cover. It seemed like an eternity had passed when the beast finally reached a nook between the trees. As soon as it found it, it got up on its hind legs and started running, disappearing into the forest with one last howl.

Beside me, Nell sighed.

"I'm so over this," she mumbled, as if she had done this a million times - and for all I knew, she might have.

With the danger seemingly out of sight, I allowed myself to relax a bit, pulling Bella in for a tight embrace. Her arms surrounded my waist and I pressed my nose in her hair, inhaling the gorgeous scent deeply. She was safe. As long as I could hold her close to me, I didn't need anything else. This was the only thing that mattered.

It wasn't until Nell cleared her throat that I remembered we were not alone.

"Thank you," I said, slowly realizing that, as strange as it seemed, the kid had saved us.

"Ah, it's nothing, really. It's not the first time this mongrel causes trouble."

"You seemed to be familiar with it," I noticed.

"I have to be, since it is kind of… uhm, following me. It was doing so tonight as well, before it caught your scent."

"What even was that thing?" Bella asked. "A shapeshifter or something?"

I nodded a defeated 'no'.

Many months ago, I had explained to her everything I knew about the Quileute shapeshifters in La Push and the treaty that bound us to them. What I had forgotten to mention was the fact that they were not the only wolf-like creatures roaming around the Earth.

"Worse, love. It's called a Child of the Moon. It's a human who transforms into a werewolf when the moon is at its fullest phase. It's something that cannot be kept under control."

"You've never told me these things existed," her tone hid a small accusation within it.

Because I hadn't thought about their existence in decades. I knew they were mostly extinct, thanks to the Volturi's efforts to get rid of them. There had always been rumours that some of them were still roaming around in the northern parts of Asia and Europe, but that had always felt like a threat not serious enough to be worth considering - until now.

"I almost forgot they existed myself," I admitted. "Most of them had been eradicated by the Volturi."

"And you said this one was following you, Nell?" Bella queried, turning around to face the girl better.

"Yes, it's been like this for a few months. I tried to chase it away to the coast of the Bering Sea, but it keeps coming back."

She shrugged, as if she was talking about the weather.

"It only bothers me once a month, when it's full moon. Although from now on it might bother you too, since you pissed it off, so… yeah, there's that. That's what I wanted to tell you last night, when we met, before you so rudely ran away."

My eyebrows raised in suspicion. I had so many questions. And after what happened here tonight, I wasn't sure I could go without finding answers this time. The way Bella bit her lip, I knew that the curiosity was most likely mutual. Strangely enough, the kid might have had some of the answers we needed.

"I'll tell you what you want, but I have questions of my own," Nell said, reminding me in an instant that not only was I unable to read her mind, but also that she was somehow able to read mine.

"This seems like a fair exchange," I agreed through my teeth.

"We're stationed at the base of the White Mountain," Bella stepped in. "You could join us there to have a proper place to talk - if you want, of course."

The girl studied my wife with cautious eyes - in the end, whatever she had seen in Bella seemed to be enough to mellow her face into a smile.

"I know you two are standing there. I _heard_ you."

This time, there was no need to know what she was thinking to understand what she had meant by that. Bella and I hadn't been exactly quiet throughout the day. It was nearly impossible to keep a lowered volume when we made love. This shouldn't have been a problem, since the humans were constantly away throughout the day.

"Don't worry, I tried to get as far away as possible. It was way too gross."

My whole body recoiled at the thought of being heard when I was at my most vulnerable, at the highest peak of pleasure, by some kid. It felt wrong on all possible levels.

"Ugh, let's forget about this, I hate hearing that," Nell pleaded. "And once again, I am 15, so stop with the 'kid' thing!"

So this was how everyone had been feeling around me for decades? Had it always been as hard for them to control their thoughts as it was for me in that moment? Had I always been… _this_ annoying to them?

"Come with us," Bella interrupted my embarrassing mental show, as if she was aware of how bad it had got. "We'll lead the way."

Without another word, we left the forests of Abyy and headed back to our temporary home in Belaya Gora, with Nell following close behind us.

* * *

It was way past one A.M. when we arrived. The backpackers were fast asleep in their houses, not a trace of dreams within their thoughts. The silence was beautiful, if not completely frightening by how unusual it was.

I went to the bathroom to change: my ripped pants looked completely ridiculous, while the lack of a shirt had kept Bella's eyes too distracted throughout our run - and that was a problem, since it would've been impolite to let her enjoy the distraction further, with our guest so close nearby.

Back in the room, I saw Bella huddled in the bottom bed and Nell sitting directly on the desk by the window, her scarlet eyes studying the modest surroundings with interest. The only thing separating them was the long rocking chair. I joined my wife on the bed, encircling her with one arm. A few hours earlier, I never would have guessed what the night had in store for us. For the moment, I could only be grateful for how things turned out.

"So how do we do this?" Nell asked, breaking the silence.

"Let's start simple," I suggested. "Should we try for a new set of introductions?"

"Okay, I'm Nell Larson, I am 15 and this is basically my land."

There she went again with "her land". This nonsense had to be set straight before continuing.

"What do you mean by 'your land'?"

"I mean this is where I hunt, you know? Humans, animals, whatever I can find. I don't like people messing around with my food. Other vampires rarely come here anyway."

I tried to hide the surprise in my face, before remembering the effort was useless anyway, since my mind was technically free real estate.

Throughout the years I had been alive, I had never met a vampire who fed on both humans and animals. It was always one or the other, never both. I wondered what was the reasoning behind this chaotic diet. As outlandish as I found it to be, it explained her ginger-hued eyes.

"You said you were 15," Bella pointed out. "Since when?"

"Since 1988. I had just turned 15 and went out too much for my own good, I guess."

This last line of hers - it seemed as if she had told it many times before. It sounded perfectly rehearsed, almost crafted to contain enough aloofness to show that she had moved on and enough humour to prove that it wasn't a big deal to her.

I couldn't help but wonder about the deeper layers of her story.

"And you're alone here?" I pressed.

"Duh," she puffed, almost insulted by my question.

"And whoever created you?"

"Dead."

Her tone warned me that she probably didn't want to go in further detail about this.

"Your turn," she said.

"Would you like to do the honours, my love?" I asked Bella.

She nodded and began telling Nell about us. She offered the essential information, such as our names and ages, and I joined her by adding a few details about the circumstances surrounding each of our transformations - carefully omitting the unorthodox aspects, such as my feeding on Bella's blood while making love to her right before changing her.

Nell's frown reminded me that just because I was omitting to say certain things out loud didn't mean that those things remained unheard.

"That's just sickening," she complained.

This was slowly crossing the line between mildly annoying to seriously enraging.

"No, you know what is sickening, kid? The fact that you're roaming around in my mind and I can't do the same with you. So tell me now: what is this gift of yours?"

Her eyes widened with innocence.

"I thought you figured it out, since you're basically an old man who's seen everything."

"Obviously not everything," I corrected her, letting the 'old man' remark slide.

"Well… I steal gifts," she muttered. "And in turn, I paralyze a person's ability to use that gift."

The world stood still for a few minutes, as I let that information sink in. While my brain digested the news, I had a revelation: the unusual quietness around the camp wasn't necessarily a result of the people around us having a collectively dreamless night. I simply couldn't hear them either.

I was completely barren of my power.

"Every vampire's gift?" Bella was the first to talk.

"I guess that depends. I can't really do more than two gifts at once."

"Do you get to choose the gifts or anything?"

I was still silently grasping everything, but I listened carefully nonetheless.

"It's kind of an adaptive power. If I come across several vampires with gifts, my brain chooses before I do which powers to steal. Sometimes, if I concentrate hard enough, I get to choose."

With the corner of my eye I caught Bella's slight frown. It wasn't hard to tell that this didn't make much sense to her either.

"But I need to be in close proximity for that to happen," Nell added.

"How close?"

"No more than a few miles."

The newness of this gift was equal parts fascinating and bizarre.

"You know, it's strange, because… I cannot exactly hear you," the girl said and her eyes fixed on Bella. "Why?"

"I can't hear her either", I said immediately.

"But why?" she insisted.

That was the question I had been asking myself ever since I laid eyes on Bella for the first time. Out of all the people on the planet, why _her_? What was it about her mind that made it completely unreadable? Over time, I got to find out that part of it was the genetic mix-up of Charlie's low-frequency thoughts and Renée's loudness. Still, the rest of it enthralled me just as much as it did when I saw her for the first time in the cafeteria.

"We don't really know," Bella answered. "I've always been immune to Edward's power."

Her voice held a lovely smugness.

"Just his power? Or others' as well?"

"I haven't met enough vampires to know that."

"Huh!"

I watched as Bella's eyes shifted from Nell to me a couple of times.

"So for all you know, you might be a… an armor or a shield of some sort," Nell concluded.

"A _shield_ ," my wife repeated carefully.

The possibility of her being a shield had never been one that I ever considered. I had only met two shields throughout all the years I had been alive. Their gifts, however, were completely different: one could make himself invisible to attackers, while the other could repel physical attacks by convincing the enemy to run in the other direction. Yet I could easily read both of their minds.

"It's not out of the realm of possibilities," I whispered, feeling this new revelation encircling my entire being.

She pulled back from my arms and turned around, to look at my face directly. Her crimson irises sparked with unspoken excitement.

"The ones I'd met before were so different, love," I explained, still in awe. "I hadn't even thought that you might be one yourself."

"How can we know then?"

"There's a simple way to find out", Nell slipped inside our discussion. "Just find more vampires, right?"

My jaw clenched. The concept of finding more vampires on purpose went against our mission to remain under the radar.

"Oh!" the girl exclaimed, her eyes widening all of a sudden.

_No, no, no! Get the hell out of my mind!_

These were thoughts that needed to remain private. I had to find some way to hide them. I focused my attention on Bella's curls falling down on my wrists as I held her. This was an innocent enough thought. The juxtaposition of the chestnut of her hair on the snow-white of my skin made for a pleasing contrast. Just like the last time we had been in our meadow and her locks draped around my chest as we laid in the sun. Our meadow in Forks. The Forks that we had left behind after the accident. The accident that got the Volturi on our tails.

_Goddamn!_

"That's an interesting story you've got there," Nell noticed.

"It is none of your business," I growled, leaving my polite behaviour behind.

"Seems to be the Volturi's business, as far as I could tell..."

"Okay, it's time for you to get out," there was no trace of compromise in my voice.

"Make me," she snickered, showing her age.

I stood up, every muscle in my body aching to throw our guest out the door. Bella was by my side immediately, her hands on my shoulders, pulling me back.

"Wait, wait," she murmured and I had to look at her when she asked me to - those eyes could make me do anything. "She saved us, Edward. She's not our enemy, right?"

"We barely know her", I prattled.

"She barely knows _us_ , yet she chased away that creature."

I heard the girl sigh in the background.

"Bella..."

"She can read your mind anyway."

"Bella..." my tone grew rougher.

"I still have some questions of my own I would like to ask."

This time I was the one sighing. She had a way of driving me crazy with her stubbornness when I least expected it.

"Listen," she whispered - a superfluous effort, since Nell was standing a few feet away from us. "I can tell her the outline, if you can wait outside, far enough away to not be heard. You decide."

If I would've had any blood in my veins, it would've begun to boil at this exact moment.

"That's just not cool," the kid said. "I thought we were exchanging answers equally here."

My lips clamped in a tight line while I watched Bella. As if I could leave her alone with a stranger - even a stranger who had saved us from a werewolf attack. Could she really not comprehend why it was better to be safe than sorry?

"I am staying," I articulated each word with care, trying to temper my irritation for her sake.

Bella nodded and thanked me with a kiss on the cheek. And just like that, I stayed, and Nell got to find out exactly why Bella and I were on the run. No detail escaped her notice - thanks to my stolen ability. I had expected her to capitalize on the fact that we were on the Volturi's 'wanted' list, but she didn't. Instead, the first thing she said after we were finished talking was this:

"I bet you miss that family of yours."

"More than you know," Bella said.

"And do you think you'll see them again soon?"

"We don't know", I admitted. "Unless the news story dies down and the Volturi make a definitive decision, probably not."

"Man, that sucks."

I couldn't decipher the sentiment that went beyond her empathy: was it longing? It wouldn't have surprised me. I had met solitary nomads in the past - and as soon as they discovered that it was still possible to have a family in the deviant afterlife that vampirism was, they felt curious, even if they never acted upon their curiosity. Maybe Nell felt that way too.

"I'm not curious," she clarified condescendingly. "I had a family of my own and it wasn't all that great. But yours doesn't seem to have a 'only assholes allowed' policy, so I reckon you miss them."

"What family?" Bella asked.

"Ah, it's been ages and I was still human. It's a boring trainwreck anyway."

There it was again: the perfectly rehearsed mix of aloofness with humour from earlier. Her human life must have not been the best. I couldn't help but ask myself why.

"So anyway, you can rest assured about this whole thing, because I am kind of on the run from the Volturi too - although not officially."

I wanted these small surprises to stop. I hated being startled. My very nature prevented me from ever being so and I liked it. It felt safe to be always one step ahead of those around me - with the very exception of my Bella, whose mind remained forever locked to me. But this kid was cheating the game, robbing me of my most powerful sense. It wasn't fair.

"What do you mean?" I managed to say, getting past my frustration.

"I've met accidentally with two of them - a girl and a boy - in the late '90s, when I was trying to find a new place to settle for a year or two and I was passing from Austria to Switzerland. They were younger than me, but damn, were they powerful! One could knock you out of your senses, while the other could throw you on your ass from the pain."

Alec and Jane. The unbeatable twins. I knew the stories.

"Of course I gave them a taste of their own medicine before they got to do anything."

Nell smiled, her marmalade eyes sparkling at the memory. I tried to imagine the scene: three vampire kids fighting, their powers too big for each one of them.

"The thing is they asked me to go to Italy with them, so they could present me to their leader or whatever. They told me my gift would offer me a powerful position in the guard. But that sounded too much like getting tied down without my will and obeying to some made-up rules, so I refused."

"They let you go, just like that?" Bella's question came in a quick breath and I could tell how enraptured by the story she was.

"Pretty much," she shrugged. "Although they did say something about keeping an eye on me. So I figured I might as well try to hide from them. That is part of why I prefer being on my own - no surprise blindsides."

"Yet you're here with us," I pointed out.

"Only because I can read your mind and I know you are not some shady spy."

Bella laughed - not the nervous laugh she had when she tried to diffuse the tension when there were people she was not accustomed to around. A real, actual laugh.

"It's kind of convenient then", she giggled, and the girl followed suit.

I tried not to look too flabbergasted.

"So tell me, Nellie" - _Nellie_? - "what's the story of that ugly dog?" my wife demanded to know.

"Oh, that's a short one: I was out hunting back in February, because there was this afflux of tourists in town, since it was peak ski season. Some boy accepted a dare his friends gave him or something and went into the woods alone."

I prayed that she would not go into further details about her killing - not for me, but for Bella. It was too soon.

"So I was almost… done," Nell explained, her eyes flickering towards me for a short second, letting me know that she had listened to my silent plea. "And all of a sudden, the werewolf came out of nowhere and tried to attack me."

"What did you do?"

"I ran as fast as I could and jumped right into a frozen river. It was the first thing that came to my mind then. And it so happens that the mongrel is no good swimmer."

"You were lucky," I indicated.

"Yeah, most likely. It has come back for me every month ever since. I tried to hunt it down, but I can only sense its scent when it transforms - and sometimes a day or two before that, but it is too faint to be trackable. After I tried to chase it away to the coast and it came back, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it will probably follow me until one of us dies."

I felt Bella shudder ever so slightly under my arm.

"Well, how do these things die anyway?" she asked.

"No idea. All I know is it hates fire, even though it doesn't hurt it."

"It hates fire because it is ultimately the only thing that could kill it," I said.

Their eyes raised up to me in unison. I gripped Bella tighter.

"Carlisle told me decades ago about these monsters," I explained. "You need to rip their hearts out, tear them to pieces and burn them - almost like you would do with one of our kind."

"So it's settled then! Since it's probably after you too now, we'll kill it next month!"

" _We_ will not make any decisions, Nell. Bella and I won't be staying much longer here. You might want to try to get as far away as possible from this place as well."

She frowned.

"It is my territory, I can't just go."

I rolled my eyes.

"Newsflash, kid: you cannot claim territories just because you like hunting in a certain place. It doesn't work that way."

"Sure it does. Get with the times, old man!"

I stopped myself from engaging further. I was above such childishness. Besides, the sunrise was close and the last thing I wanted to do was to spend the rest of my day locked in a small cabin with a spirited teenager.

She rose up from the desk before I said anything.

"This was sure an interesting night," she muttered.

Bella and I stood up from our comfortable place as well. I gazed at the door in a way that would've made Esme - had she been here - scold me for behaving impolitely to our guest.

"Are you going to be okay, Nellie?" Bella asked.

"I'm always okay. So I guess… it was nice meeting you?"

"You too," my wife rushed to say.

"Now if you don't mind, I'll leave before it gets awkward."

And without further ado, just as Bella was in the middle of a 'goodbye', Nell left. She closed the door behind her without a sound, as if she was never even here. Outside the window, behind the sheets, the night was coming to a close, although it wasn't even four A.M. yet. There was the slightest hint of light, but it was milky and dirty, a sign that the day wasn't going to be as sunny as expected.

My phone rang loudly, breaking the sudden silence. Alice's name flashed on the screen.

"Did it go well?" she skipped the pleasantries when I answered.

"That's debatable, I suppose. How come you're only calling now?"

"I'd seen some weird unexplainable flashes hours ago, but that ended quickly. Then that girl appeared again and all of a sudden you were both fine. You needed to talk to her, and I could see that if I called you then, she would've got scared and run away."

Flashes. Did this mean there had been no werewolf in her visions? There was only one way to find out.

"We got attacked by a Child of the Moon and the kid had some aces up her sleeve," I explained.

Alice's gasp was so loud that it almost felt as if she was in the same room with us.

"That is completely insane, Edward! They're so rare, how could you even… With Bella's luck, I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. But still..."

I laughed bitterly.

"So that explains the flashes!" she wheezed. "I couldn't see past that mutt."

As if her overabundance of visions from last time hadn't been anxiety-inducing enough.

"Most likely. It only comes when there is a full moon, so we're safe for now."

A loud hiss reverberated on her end.

"Listen, Jazz and I are mid-hunt and I've got to go now. But the Volturi are still on hiatus regarding their decision, so that's one less worry for today, right?"

I didn't respond. Such good news could change any second.

"Please, please, please take care with that thing - promise?" she tried again.

These days, such promises would have simply tempted fate.

"Goodbye, Alice," was all I said before hanging up.

Things were slipping out of my control too fast for comfort and I didn't like this. The night that had passed felt close to what humans described as 'having a fever dream': wild, hazy, agonizing and unstoppable. It didn't exactly help having my gift stolen for hours on end and used against me. I felt whole again, now that I had it back. Not as powerless.

I heard a low murmur outside, as two early hikers - British, judging by their accents - were exiting their cabin, discussing whether to bring their raincoats with them or not - as it turned out, the forecast for that day wasn't favourable for humans. Deep in her subconscious, the woman was wondering what made the wolves howl so loudly that night and I winced when I realized that it wasn't the crying of the wolves that she had heard. It was the howling of the werewolf.

Bella disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower and change her clothes. In the end, the two early hikers decided to drop their plans for the day and go back to sleeping, when they heard a thunder purring in the distance. With the water of the shower running in the background, I listened as other humans around the camp woke up, dressed up and went outside, only to be met by the ominous, unfriendly weather. One by one, each of the hikers went back inside.

Every nerve in my body was a stretched chord. I laid on my back on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to find my composure. Instead, my brain filled up with a deluge of unwanted and all too recent memories. Tasting the blood of the lynxes. Watching Bella feed. Seeing the werewolf for the first time. Telling Bella to run away. Bella doing the exact opposite. The beast chasing me. Fighting it to the best of my abilities. Bella foolishly stepping in. Nell throwing fireballs. Bella inviting her over for discussions. Telling her everything. Being unable to do the one thing I did best. Bella carelessly suggesting that I could wait outside.

An animalistic growl ruptured from my chest and I forced my eyes open, in order to stop the cascading thoughts. I didn't realize I was standing up again, grabbing my wallet and heading out the door until I was already outside.

This was a safe morning. The clouds that had collected in large piles on the sky while we were inside were a blessing.

I found myself knocking on the door of the early hikers. I could hear they were not yet asleep, as they were still unpacking their backpacks. The man responded, his face full of confusion when he saw me.

"Hello," I said, trying my best to make my voice sound warm and human. "I am sorry to be bothering you so early. I am standing a few houses further and I was wondering if you could help me with something - for a decent charge, of course."

He cleared his throat before responding:

"Let's hear it, man."

I knew I had him already. His mind was imbued with anticipation after hearing the promise of money.

"I would like to borrow your thickest, strongest climbing rope. For half a grand. What do you say?"

"You've got it, man."

In the distance, I heard Bella stopping the shower and grabbing her towel.

I smiled. _Just in time_.

* * *

**To everyone following this story: a million 'thank you's for your interest and your patience!**

**Stay safe and happy, guys!**


	14. Rematching

Bella was back to wearing her old sweatpants and holey T-shirt. I found myself hoping I would have made room in our two suitcases for the lingerie Alice had bought her. I remembered exactly how weeks ago - still caught in the haze of the accident - I had pushed the lacey garments to the back of the closet and simply left them there, just before leaving.

What a stupid, irrational decision.

A thunder broke outside and I closed the front door with the key. Bella scoured me from head to toe with her gaze, seemingly conflicted about the thick roll of rope in my hands.

"What is that for?" she asked.

I chose not to respond, smiling ever so slightly.

"We don't need that for mountain climbing, if that's what you have in mind," she said, turning around to grab a hairband and pulling her hair in a careless ponytail.

"I can't remember saying anything about mountain climbing."

I started undoing the roll, letting the chord hit the floor as I did so.

"Are you going to tell me what that's about then?" Bella tried again.

"Yes. I would like you to sit down."

She raised her eyebrows, but obliged. The long rocking chair was right behind her, so she positioned herself at the far end of it, making it swing. For a moment, I couldn't help but marvel at her innocuousness.

"We'd had an interesting night," I observed.

"That's one way of putting it."

"Fair enough. I was wondering though: does it always have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

I was still undoing the rope when I answered her:

"You defying any sense of logic, despite the danger."

"I don't understand."

"Oh, I'm sure you do."

I wondered if she could sense the whisper of anger in my tone.

"Please be more specific," she demanded.

"When somebody tells you to run to save your life, you just step right into the danger zone instead, don't you?"

Her breath came out shaking when she understood. The scene of her trying to attack the werewolf flashed painfully through my memories.

"I couldn't just leave you there, Edward, you know that."

"So you thought the better option was to get yourself killed by a beast you didn't even know the name of."

"I was trying to help by distracting it in some way."

"Playing the decoy - not dangerous at all."

The rope was now undone, its chord falling from my hands down to the floor in one big tangled flexuosity that would have probably gone for over two hundred feet if stretched out.

"We're both here now," Bella pointed out. "That's what matters, right?"

I sighed. _If only_. But I was willing to bet that her foolish bravery was simply going to set a precedent. Because if there was a lesson of self-preservation to be learned from what had happened, Bella would have got it completely backwards.

"What matters, my love, is that I don't lose you, especially not in a much avoidable manner," I said.

Dragging the rope across the floor, I stepped forward, until I was in front of her.

"And what about inviting me to step outside earlier, so that you could have a chat with Nell?" I went on.

If I had my doubts about Bella sensing my slow-boiling anger earlier, they were now gone. Her pupils dilated when I grabbed her chin, to make her look at me.

"It made sense at the time," she muttered. "She wouldn't have been able to read your thoughts anymore if you did do that."

"What part about me leaving you alone with a vampire whose thoughts I can't read makes sense to you?"

When she didn't find an answer, she retorted to what she always did when she felt on edge: she bit her lip and looked away.

"No, no," I scolded her. "Look at me, Bella. I need to know what exactly went through your mind."

When she raised her eyes back to me, they were disconcerted. I knew this exact expression of hers all too well. There was no reasoning with her beyond this point.

"What are you going to do with all that rope, Edward?" she managed to ask, avoiding to offer an explanation.

I let go of her chin. The chord in my hands felt sturdy, clearly crafted to survive the roughest conditions on the mountain.

"Take your clothes off and I will tell you," I demanded, stepping back. "But do it slowly, please."

Bella didn't seem shocked by my request, only dazed. But she grabbed her T-shirt anyway and lifted it, unrushedly revealing the taut skin of her abdomen, then the faultlessly sculpted mounds of her breasts, then the delicate curvature of her clavicle. She let the garment fall to the ground and proceeded with her pants.

She rolled them off her hips, divulging the perfect alabaster flesh of her thighs, flashing one look in my direction before taking them off completely. It took me all my power not to launch at her and rip her underwear away with my own teeth. Instead, I watched as she slipped her fingers under the elastic and peeled her underwear off, bending forward to help herself in her mission. Seconds later, she was sitting naked in front of me, a sight more exquisite than any Renaissance painter could have dreamed of.

My erection was throbbing in my jeans, but I tried to not let it steal away my focus.

"I'm waiting," she said and I could see the effort she put into not letting her eyes wander from my face.

"Lie down," I motioned with one finger, stepping forward until I was back to standing right in front of the long rocking chair.

She lounged on her back, her thighs pressed together, her gaze not once breaking contact with mine. I took a deep breath in before leaning down.

"I will tie you up, Bella," I said, grazing the side of her neck with my palm. "Not just your hands. All of you."

Her lips parted as she watched me speak, awaiting a kiss that never came. This was just the tip of the iceberg of teasing I had prepared for her. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them on either side of her head. Carefully, I began to twist the rope around the wooden railing of the chair, making a tight knot there. When the knot was ready, I pulled the rope through the railing and twisted it around Bella's right wrist, again and again, until it got close to her elbow, before stretching the chord above her head and moving to do the same to her left wrist as well, making another knot.

When I was finished with her hands, I pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were a burning fire.

"Should I go on with this, love?" I checked.

"I really want you to."

Her head lifted just a little and I pressed gently on her neck, to make her stay still.

"Now," I smiled, dragging each side of the chord over her throat. "Will you let me do to you all that I've planned while I have you tied up well? Or are you going to oppose this as well, like you've done with everything in the past few hours?"

She raised herself a little, to allow me to twirl the rope under her back and in a criss-cross pattern over her chest.

"You know you can do anything you want with me already," Bella whispered, slightly out of breath.

I smiled, fully gratified.

"Mmmmm… Will you let me fuck you as hard as I please?"

"Any way you want it, Edward, I'm all yours..."

The way she was offering herself to me on a silver platter, as helplessly in lust as she was, filled my veins with the sweetest static.

"Yes, you _are_ all mine," I emphasized greedily, as I continued to twist the thick rope in X and S shapes all over her body and securing it with knots to the chair. "Now open your legs for me."

Her thighs parted slightly, revealing the most mouth-watering sight. She was glistening. My penis began pulsing fiercely with desire upon seeing Bella so wet. I allowed myself to be tortured as I slid the chord under her buttocks and over her thighs, forcing her to open up more in front of me.

"God, look how wet you are... the things I want to do to you, Bella..."

My words came in an unintended growl and I watched as a delicate thread of liquid seeped out of her. I fastened the rope around her knees, then lowered it to her calves, making new knots along the way.

"But there is something you should probably know beforehand," I said, trying to put all my attention into securing her in place as tightly as possible and less on the need to possess her right then.

"What?"

I had finally arrived at her ankles. My hand wound the cord around a few times, before making the final knots and locking her completely to the chair.

"You will come when I tell you to come, my love," I said. "Understood?"

"I can't promise you that!" she protested.

"You don't have to. I will make sure of it."

I rose up to gaze down at her. I began to wonder if I was ever going to get used to the way her beauty subjugated me. She might have been tied up and ready for me, but I felt just as tied up by the raging yearning I felt for her.

As I was admiring her, I couldn't help but ponder over whether it was the same for human men when it came to desire. For me, this desire had been completely missing for most of my life. Having been changed at 17 meant that I never got to see the women around me in a way that wasn't purely platonic at best. The years during which most men discovered their sexual needs had been the years during which I struggled to understand my new nature and come to terms with who I had become. But even after that, I never really felt the curiosity or need to know a woman beyond the limits of friendship.

Strangely enough, as uninterested as I used to be when it came to this particular subject, my mind had always been soaked with thoughts of sex - they were always there, yet they were never mine. As I came to realize after being subjected to millions of minds throughout the years, sex was a subject that lived rent-free in the thoughts of the majority of people I had met. It didn't take me long at all to feel over-saturated. And then Bella came along and turned my world upside down, erasing everything I thought I knew.

Our first meetings had been dominated by nothing but the wrathful thirst for her blood. It was hard to tell when exactly that thirst began to intertwine with a new craving: the one for her body. I only remembered how it grew slowly, each new small touch adding fuel to a fire that I had never known I could feel burning. Naturally, I had been convinced that this desire would reach a plateau at some point, making it easier from then on to control the need to ravish Bella whenever I got the chance. But things rarely went as expected with my beloved, and this was no different: the longing only grew, becoming a curve forever destined to remain upward.

I got down on my knees in front of her, hopelessly under her spell.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are right now," I told her, allowing my hands to roam freely on her body.

It was a strange thing - to touch her and not be welcomed by her body pressing intently on mine, her hands grabbing my hair with desperation, her mouth searching for me. It would have been unfair if it wouldn't have been so wickedly delightful.

Her palms closed into fists when my hands arrived on her breasts. I smiled.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, yet when I gazed down, I saw her arousal dripping on the chair.

I squeezed her nipples, one by one - delicately at first, then rougher when she moaned. I had no intention of rushing, so after a few minutes of playing with her like this, I leaned down further, replacing my hands with my mouth. Her rosy nipples demanded to be taken care of, so I worshipped them the way they deserved: licking them, sucking them, biting them, over and over again.

My lips trailed off to discover the rest of her body. I could never grow tired of the way her waist curved elegantly or the way the muscles in her abdomen tightened when she felt my lips close to her navel. Loving her was always a long stream of rediscoveries that never got old. And there was always something new to be uncovered: such as the almost transparent constellation of freckles on her right hip bone that was now begging me to cherish it.

Bella's breathing pattern was all over the place and I burned to give to her what we both desperately needed. But the ambers of anger from last night still flickered in the pit of my stomach, reminding me of the much necessary rematch. So without further ado, I descended along with my kisses, until my mouth was between her legs, and began the actual torture.

She was wet beyond belief. My tongue hurried to collect the ambrosian sap, swallowing it, careful not to lose any precious drop. In return, she only got wetter. When I raised my eyes to look at her, I could see both her hands closed into tight fists, as she was struggling to breathe.

"Deep breaths, Bella," I guided her, my lips slowly moving against her slit. "We've still got a long road ahead."

"You're driving me crazy!" she panted.

In response, I began flipping her clitoris with my tongue. She almost lost it and I had to take a short pause before going back - I had to be careful, as it was all too easy to bring her to orgasm this way. This time, I began drawing circles around her most sensitive bundle of nerves, trying not to overwhelm her, stopping each time right before she exploded.

Her words had awakened in the back of my mind a memory from many months ago, back when we were enjoying our honeymoon. I had gone with Bella back to the mainland. The plan was to take her out to dinner and a walk through the city, in a bid to change the scenery of Isle Esme. It was nighttime and Rio was brimming with life. The streets were crowded and the rhythmic beats of several songs that played on the restaurants' terraces surrounded us like a canopy.

That night, Bella ordered a _paella_ for herself and ate it between laughs, as we stood in a booth at the back end of the restaurant and I told her stories from my past. I had told her about all the times Emmett and I fought after losing our made-up contests - and how Esme had to come to separate us each time, like a lioness would do with her stubborn cubs. Bella was still laughing by the time she was finished with her paella and, caught in her good spirits, decided to order a glass of champagne for herself. She never did that home - mostly because the legal drinking age in the United States wasn't 18, like it was in Brazil, but also because it simply didn't interest her that much.

Her complete lack of experience with alcohol showed: it didn't take her long to become drowsy. The first sign had been her bewildered eyes, accompanied by a constant giggle. I had no idea what to do with a tipsy human, as I had never been put into the situation of taking care of one before, but I tried my best not to fail her. As we were waiting for the waiter to bring us our bill, she leaned down over the table and whispered seriously: "Do you want to go to the bathroom real quick and do it?"

It had been impossible not to burst out laughing at her request, especially given the state she was in. I politely refused, promising that I would make love to her as soon as she was sober again. Of course, this didn't stop her from coming up with several various indecent proposals throughout the rest of the night. As tempting as she was, I couldn't take advantage of her - even when she was begging me to.

The dawn was creeping in and we were on the boat, on our way back to the island, when I heard her sigh dramatically behind me. I turned around to see what that was about and saw her lying down on the bench, with her eyes closed. She sighed again and murmured: "You're driving me crazy". One minute later, she was already sleeping.

I smiled at the memory. I loved driving her crazy - it only made her come harder in the end.

"Edward, please!" Bella's voice, deliciously laced with lust, made me ache with need.

I pulled back, to get a better look at her face.

"Not yet," I said.

A sound of frustration left her lips and I focused all of my attention into licking her faster, channeling the pressure right where she wanted. Her body trembled under the rope that held her in place and she cried out. I had to stop once more, seconds away from the orgasm that kept building inside her.

Bella gasped when I drew back. Slowly, I slid my index finger inside her, feeling her walls contract around it in a silent welcome. I didn't move, waiting for her to accommodate the feeling fully. She felt perfectly smooth inside, like the core of a rose drenched in morning dew.

"You're so very tight… I can't wait to enter you," my words left my mouth at the same time my brain summoned them.

"Do it now," she pleaded.

"Patience, my love."

I slipped another finger in the narrow space and began to move slowly, feeling my knuckles getting wet from Bella's excitement. Our eyes locked and I held her gaze, wishing desperately to enter not only her body, but her mind as well. What went through her head in these exact moments?

It was dangerous to get caught in the tendrils of this particular fantasy, but that didn't stop me from craving to hear every thought of hers, to hear the most salacious things that floated in her mind, to witness the arousal beyond the way her body reacted to my actions.

"What are you thinking right now?" I whispered.

"I… need... more," she uttered between my thrusts.

I obliged and entered another finger and started pumping harder.

"Is this more?"

She nodded and let out another honeyed cry of pleasure. My fingertips were now rubbing against the most responsive patch inside her body, mustering her orgasm and chasing it away, again and again. I could do this forever, if it wouldn't have been just as torturing for me to not be inside her fully.

"Edward, come on!" her voice was a frenzy in its own right.

"Yes, love?"

"I can't hold it any longer..."

"Try," I groaned. "Until I'm inside you."

Every bone in her body was shaking and I slowed my pace ever so slightly: enough to let her catch her breath, but not enough to keep her far from falling off the edge.

My own control was seriously quivering as I owned her with my fingers. After everything that had transpired last night, I needed to let go just as much. I needed to remember that, even if the world was to catch on fire, it would still be a livable place if I had Bella by my side.

I rose up from between her legs and positioned myself on top of her, but I kept my hand moving between her legs. The chair began to rock slightly back and forth from our combined weights.

"I am begging you..." Bella whimpered.

She looked at me helplessly and I couldn't resist kissing her this time. Her mouth opened as soon as it met mine and I felt her tongue insinuating between my teeth. All my senses went into overdrive and I pressed the length of my body against her, showing her exactly how much I wanted her as well.

"I need you," she breathed when my lips wandered off to her throat.

I stopped pumping my fingers in and out of her and resumed stroking her clitoris.

"And I you, Bella," I murmured against her neck.

Suddenly, there was no time to get rid of my clothes fast enough, so all I did was unzip my pants, to set my erection free. I forgot all about delayed gratification when I felt her wet folds yielding against my tip, giving in to my girth, as I sunk inside her body. I heard Bella calling out my name and I only stopped moving when I was all the way in.

I could still do this slowly.

I took her face in my hands, transfixed by the way pleasure affected her expression. Her eyes were now closed, her eyebrows tilted down at the sides - a mien of sweet vulnerability.

"Look at me," I whispered.

There was nothing I wanted more than to get lost in the infinite pools of her eyes and search their depths while I made love to her.

Bella opened her eyes and looked at me through heavy eyelids. I began to move slowly.

"That's right, I want to see you."

My feeble attempt to keep things slow failed sooner than expected, as my own hunger took control of my reason, making me push harder, rougher, wilder. Her insides felt tight and wet and warm and like home.

Bella's body vibrated underneath mine seconds after I picked up my pace and I knew I had her.

"Don't stop… don't stop… don't stop..." she chanted fanatically, her nails digging deep inside her palms as she closed and opened her fists.

"Never," I groaned.

I watched as my movements drove her over the edge, until there was no coming back.

"Yes, Edward!"

"Come, my love..." I incited her. "Let me feel you, let go with me..."

But she didn't need my words to fall off into the abyss. I felt her walls clenching maddeningly around me - and just before her thrilled wailing filled the room, I was right there with her. Her orgasm collided with mine in a violent storm that had us both succumb into a spiral of animalistic sounds, clamping muscles, ragged breaths and warm fluids. I didn't stop my ramming, riding the afterwaves of her climax until she came undone again. And again. And again. And God, I wanted to live in an universe in which my only purpose was to make Bella come and feast my eyes on her doing so, in an endless loop. What a perfect universe that would be.

I wondered if I was going completely mad from my unbearable need for her - and whether I truly cared if I was.

"What are you doing to me?" she asked, completely out of breath.

"Not stopping," I said, grabbing her tied up wrists in my hands and kissing the perfect hollow of her throat. "Like you asked."

She felt even more slippery than usual, with all of my venom filling her up.

"Mmmmm, you feel so good," she sighed.

I bit her neck - it seemed to be the only logical thing to do whenever my lips arrived there - and she moaned.

"I love it when you do that..."

In response, I did it again.

"What is it that you love so much about this?" I demanded.

I knew why I liked it - it had been such an illicit temptation for so long and I had gone for months on end resisting it, that I couldn't help myself from doing it over and over again now, knowing that I couldn't hurt her.

"It brings me back to..." - she gasped when I pushed deep against her cervix - "...that day, you know."

I knew. Yet the masochist in me still wanted to hear her say it out loud:

"What day?"

"When you changed me… and drank from me."

My body reacted in predictable ways at the memory, yet I still found myself groaning from excitement. There was something absurdly pleasurable in knowing that, one way or another, she had enjoyed my unorthodox act, my utmost perversity, my greatest sin.

"Isabella," - her name sounded like a prayer when I uttered it - "whatever did I do to deserve you, my angel?"

And just like that, the discussion was over and we were back to talking only with our bodies.

* * *

I felt prouder than I should have when I returned the climbing rope to its owner in perfect condition. I had taken my time to clean it up - by the time it was ready, it looked brand new. I made a mental note to buy a few ropes like that myself.

As it turned out, Bella loved getting tied up just as much I loved tying her up. I couldn't exactly pinpoint where this specific fantasy originated for either of us - could it possibly have been born during that night I spent with her in her room, after going to the meadow for the first time, when I had locked her wrists in my hands and discovered the rush of having her subdued? - but that didn't prevent me from enjoying it any less.

Our days in Belaya Gora passed by in a bizarre haze. Between making love all day and resuming our fighting training at night, time seemed to lose its shape and become one big amorphous blob. We hadn't heard from Nell again; wherever she was, she was keeping a safe distance from us. We constantly checked in with our family - with Alice especially, since her visions guided our every step.

Elijah Cochran was still on an indefinite hiatus with his statements. Part of me wondered whether Rosalie had been right and he had truly retreated from the public's eye, giving us a mild chance to bury this whole mess behind us. Regardless, the death of the Wilsons had not been forgotten. Their loved ones kept making appearances on TV, as Carlisle informed me constantly - he knew we had no access to a TV, so he did his best to keep us up to date. They demanded justice, understandably so. Bella went into a deep state of quietness whenever she heard something new about them and I could recognize in her eyes all the shades of guilt and shame she felt - shades that had painted my eyes for decades as well. We weren't talking about this particular subject as much as we used to right after the accident. She told me that she needed space to think about it on her own, so I offered her space.

With the Volturi still waiting for a good enough reason to get back to tracking us, we should have had more reasons to feel relieved - yet we couldn't quite get there, given the fact that the encounter with the werewolf still haunted whatever peace we had managed to find. My own lack of practical experience with such a creature felt frustrating. Everything I knew I owed to Carlisle, but he didn't know anything more than what he had already told me decades ago. The only way we could have found more answers regarding how to get rid of a Child of the Moon was to go to the ones who had sought their perdition throughout the centuries: the Volturi themselves. And that was not going to happen anytime soon.

Days turned into weeks faster than I would have thought possible. Bella's birthday was getting closer and closer and I couldn't bring myself to risk it and leave her alone, so that I could buy her a gift. This, of course, pleased her tremendously, since she was adamant about not wanting any presents - especially presents that had a price tag. The timing of her birthday was most certainly ill-placed, but I decided to not let the circumstances stop me.

Every once in a while, Bella would talk to her parents over the phone and tell them how much she loved Cardiff and how she will try her best to visit them on Thanksgiving. It pained me to see her make unkeepable promises to Charlie and Renée, but there was no other alternative. A part of me was mesmerized by the strength with which she handled it all.

We had had uncountable discussions in the past, in her human days, in which I gave it my all to drive away her wish to become a vampire - fruitless efforts, of course. I always made sure to remind her of her parents, of how she might have to see them very rarely, if at all. And in response, she always hit me with a 'Yes, I am fully aware of that'. Doubting those carefree responses had become second nature to me. And yet there she was, proving me wrong with each new phone call she made.

When I asked her how much struggle and hurt actually laid behind her efforts, she responded:

"You want to hear something I cannot tell you, Edward. Because I am fine, really. In fact, it's just like going to college abroad."

"That's a misplaced comparison," I grimaced and she rolled her eyes.

"I knew what I had to leave behind before any of this had happened."

"Yes, but… I cannot help but mourn over the fact that you left so much behind for my sake, love. And for what really? We're basically living on pins and needles - I'm pretty sure it is far from what you've imagined."

"The pins and needles are my own doing," she said, her voice dead-serious. "And I am not forgiving myself for that, believe me. But leaving my old life behind is really such a small price if it means I get to spend an eternity with you. I've told you that."

I cupped her face in my hands.

"And I love you for this," I murmured. "But let me tell you: you have to learn to forgive yourself. It will eat you up from the inside out if you don't."

 _I know this all too well_.

She pressed my lips to mine without saying anything else and I understood that we still had a long way to go.

At night, when we weren't training, Bella would constantly bring up what Nell had suggested when we invited her over: that she might have the gift of being a shield. However, there was no way of testing it just by ourselves. A new idea had blossomed in her mind, thanks to a discussion she had had with Alice over the phone: that maybe, just maybe, she could extend this shield of hers beyond her own self. Alice had met such a case long before she joined our family in 1950.

Bella kept suggesting that we should go find Nell and ask her nicely if she would be willing to partake in this extremely questionable experiment. While the girl seemed lonely - and possibly even bored - enough to accept such a thing, Carlisle suggested that we don't force unnecessary friendships and that we stick to the fighting training for the time being. And that was what we did.

Still, one problem burned fiercer than the others: the werewolf.

The cursed day we crossed paths had put an unintentional target on our backs. It was impossible to track it now, since there was still a week left until the next full moon. Even if we did stumble upon it in its human form, we wouldn't have known. Infected humans never knew it - it was as if their brains could completely shut off any possible memories of the beast that inhabited them. Alice couldn't see anything but flashes of light whenever she tried to pursue visions of us and the beast. What was worse was that nothing seemed to come after those flashes. As if there was no future whatsoever for us past the werewolf. As if we were as good as gone.

What was going to happen next time the Moon would be up and full in the sky? I had no intention to remain in Belaya Gora and find that out. The plan was to leave soon and head to the Philippines. The more stretches of water we put between us and the monster, the better. Carlisle assured me that it will follow us there as well - and anywhere else as well, as long as it was alive. He told me that werewolves had the ability to track several vampires at once - even going as far as chasing after five at a time, when needed.

The only issue with the Philippines plan was Bella's concern for Nell - a concern that I could not possibly understand. We had only had two encounters with her. Indeed, she did save us by distracting the werewolf during one of those encounters, but that didn't make us best friends. Not even friends, actually, just… Amiable acquaintances.

 _Do not make friends along the way_. This was one of the most important rules. I was not breaking it.

And speaking of friends - it seemed that Bella's had not forgotten about her completely, despite her not making any particular efforts to keep in touch with them after graduation. Angela Weber attempted to reach out a few times since then, but Bella had tried to break all ties with her before her transformation, to spare her friend unnecessary trouble.

I expected Angela to be the first one to reach back after the change. Yet fate had a funny way of proving me wrong, because when Bella's phone rang one late morning, it wasn't Angela's name that lit up the screen. It was Jessica's.

Confused and completely startled, Bella answered the phone. Jessica's voice was not as exhausting as her mental blabber used to be. After exchanging pleasantries, she questioned Bella about how married life was going for her. Was there the slightest hint of jealousy in her tone or was I hallucinating? It was hard to tell without my extra hearing.

"It's been going great, Jess. Edward and I have done a lot of traveling ever since."

That was surely one way of putting it.

"Really? Like where?"

"Some countries in Asia, maybe Europe will be next on our list."

"Wow! Go you! I've no idea how you can concentrate on visiting all these places when you've got… _that_ at home, you know?"

Bella seemed as startled as I was.

"I'm not sure what you mean," she said.

"Ugh, come on! Like you'd want to do much sightseeing with Edward there."

 _Oh, that's what she was getting at_.

I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh. In a way, Jessica was not far from the truth.

Bella laughed nervously.

"We certainly don't go out as often as we should," she admitted. "But tell me about you and Mike: how are things going?"

"Okay, in fact... that's kind of why I called."

Babbling about Mike Newton - so that was the reason behind Jessica interrupting our pleasurable daytime activities? I hadn't thought about that poor boy in months - and I hadn't exactly missed it.

"So you know how we both got into Community College in Olympia, right?" Jessica continued.

What Jessica didn't know was the fact that Mike was more than eager to 'check the waters' as soon as they would arrive in Olympia and see if he could 'do better than Jess' - these had been his exact thoughts on the day we all graduated.

"Of course."

"Well, get this - but wait, you must promise me you'll keep this to yourself for now."

"My lips are sealed."

"Okay, so he told me today that a few weeks ago he got this weird envelope in the mail, when he was checking to see if he got any news about accommodation in Olympia. And this envelope has no tags or anything, which is weird, right? But wouldn't you know, it has a check in it. And not just any check, but… well, you know, a few hundred grand one!"

My brain almost froze. It couldn't possibly be…

"And there's this note saying 'Please, just keep quiet about this and everything else'. So of course he kept it to himself, to see if anyone shows up to claim the check."

To hell with bribing. Alice had paid a hefty sum to send an untagged envelope to the Cochran residence, to avoid any suspicions. How did it ever end up in Mike Newton's hands?

"He thought about telling his parents about it, but they've been kind of busy paying visits to their neighbours, the Cochrans, since they're pretty bummed after the whole accident thing, with the press and whatnot..."

I had no idea whether to laugh hysterically or scream at the top of my lungs. At that moment, either option seemed reasonable.

Misplaced correspondence. Out of all the things that could have prevented Elijah from speaking, the safest bet had been ruined by something so unbelievably trivial. So incredibly human.

If there was a God out there, he had his favourites. And I was clearly not one of them.

"But I digress," Jessica stopped herself in the tracks. "The point was that Mike kept the check and he now wants us to skip the first two weeks of college to go on a holiday abroad. And isn't it crazy? Because like, that's clearly a sign that we're stepping up, you know?"

"Wow," Bella managed, but seeing her eyes fixated blankly on the ceiling, it was perfectly clear that she, as well, had understood what had happened. "That _is_ crazy!"

"Right? And like… I still have to pay for stuff, but he said that he'll do most of the paying."

"That's… so generous!"

"Yeah, but we're definitely not telling our parents, because they would go crazy if they found out about the money and that we intend to skip those first two weeks of college. But we had to tell our friends about this, because it is so cool and..."

I could no longer concentrate on her blabber. All I knew - thanks to Jessica's penchant for gossip and humble-bragging - was that the check that could have bought our freedom was now going to be spent on what was surely going to be a mediocre vacation by none other than Mike. The ordinary, vacuous, lewd Mike Newton.

Life surely had a weird way of keeping me humble.

* * *

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	15. Hearing

The evening someone knocked on our door had been completely unexpected. I almost didn't make the effort to get up from the floor, too busy admiring Bella move up and down above me, watching as my shaft disappeared inside her body and as her breasts danced with each new motion. But the thoughts of the man knocking on our door were boiling with annoyance, so I decided to not be an ass and answer the door.

We dressed up in a few seconds and I ran my fingers through my hair, in an attempt to make it look less disheveled, before opening the door. The man was none other than our host- I should have guessed sooner, going by the waft of alcohol emanating from his pores. He saluted me lacklusterly, before explaining why he was there. As it turned out, he had received an anonymous complaint that alerted him of excessive noise from our cabin.

I tried searching through his thoughts, but all I managed to find in passing was a note he had received that afternoon. It baffled me. I was convinced that we were alone in the camp, everyone else enjoying the good weather on the mountain. I had heard the humas leaving their houses early in the morning. Still, what was socially acceptable to do in these situations? Deny that such a thing even happened? Admit and apologize? Promise that it wouldn't happen again? All of a sudden, I felt like a teenager caught on the act.

The man made it easy for me by kindly asking us to leave, since we were making his guests uncomfortable. Trying to convince him to let us stay just one more night - given that we were going to leave anyway - proved to be worthless. Without further arguing, we started packing our bags.

"We should have chosen a more secluded place," Bella said.

"It couldn't get more secluded than this."

"I was thinking of the woods actually."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not making you live in the woods, love."

"But we're bothering those around us, it seems," she insisted.

"Well, maybe I'll just gag you next time, to get this problem out of the way."

Her breath caught up when she heard me. There was no use in hiding it: the idea excited me as well, or else I wouldn't have had a massive erection growing in my pants seconds after voicing it. It didn't help that we still had unfinished business to solve, but that had to wait for a while, at least until we were up in the air.

When we were done with our bags, we cleaned up behind us and left. The sky was tinged with purple, announcing the arrival of the night. A plump moon was rising in the distance - there were still a few days before it would be completely full, but we would be gone by then. And then, just as I was taking my phone out of my pocket to call at the Airport and ask if there were any free runways available that night, I saw her.

Nell was standing on the hood of our rented car, a mischievous smile maturing her childish features.

"Long time no see!" she said.

"You're back!"

I felt an unexpected panic wash over me. Why was Bella's voice filled with glee?

"Did you like my little intervention?" Nell asked.

In the annoying absence of my gift, it took me one second too long to understand what she meant.

"If we had truly bothered you so much, you could have simply told us, without making it a whole spectacle," I snarled.

"Oh, that was just for laughs."

 _Just for laughs_? We got evacuated early because the kid wanted _laughs_?

"Well, it _was_ funny," she pouted.

"I don't see anyone laughing. Now please get off the hood."

She did so, but not before sticking her tongue at me. _Mature_. I placed the suitcases in the trunk of the car and opened the passenger door for Bella, all of a sudden eager to escape these Siberian lands. But she hesitated and, after a few moments, uttered:

"Why did you really come here, Nell?"

"Well…" - she seemed to ponder for a bit before continuing, as if she wanted to choose her words carefully - "I was wondering if you could please take me with you to the Philippines."

This was a no-brainer.

"Absolutely not," I responded, my hand clenching on the door.

"How do you know we're going there?" Bella demanded to know.

"I… uhm, heard you mentioning it."

"So you spied on us," I accused.

"No, it's not like that, I promise! Okay, maybe just a little, but it wasn't intentional, I happened to be nearby a few nights ago."

I sighed, my patience growing thinner. This whole thing would have been dealt with already if I didn't have my power stolen from me.

"I thought about what you said, dude, okay? About getting away from this place. I thought about it a lot and... maybe it's not the worst idea. You happen to have a plane, so what's the deal if you bring one passenger on board, really?"

Bella took my hand in hers and squeezed it hard, forcing me to look at her. As usual, I got lost as soon as I met her gaze. It had been over a month since the accident. During this time, she had only fed on animal blood. Her eyes were still red, but no longer crimson - more like a blood orange with several caramel stripes within its flesh.

Still, they had just the same effect on me as always. And right now, for whatever reason, these blood orange eyes wanted me to not voice the 'no' in my head.

"You need a passport for these kinds of things," I managed to say, looking back at Nell.

"Duh! I have one, I'm not dumb. And I even have some money stolen ages ago from a guy to pay for fuel. I'm more resourceful than you'd think."

I sighed once more.

"Keep your money, kid, we don't need it."

"I don't even have baggage. Please?"

Trying very hard not to rip the passenger door off its hinges out of frustration, I answered:

"Get in the car."

"Ah! I'll owe you one!"

She jumped up once, squealing like a small animal, and hurried into the car, closing the door behind her. I turned around to face my wife. Her lips had blossomed into a smile and I reached out to graze her face with my fingers.

"Tell me now, why are we doing this?"

"She seems really lonely, Edward. Can't you tell?"

"I can't read her thoughts."

"Not everything is solved by reading the thoughts of those around you."

"Oh, I know. You've taught me that lesson better than anyone ever could."

"Then prove you've learned something."

She rose up on her tiptoes to brush her soft mouth against mine before I could reply. I felt the urge to push her against the car and kiss her properly, but I reminded myself that we couldn't do that when we had spectators nearby - especially such young spectators - and I distanced myself from her before I got any further.

"Just wait till we're alone again," I whispered in her ear.

I heard a sound of disgust coming from the car and I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. The flight ahead of us was going to be a long one.

* * *

I stared at the screen longer than I should have.

' _Keep her close by. I can see your future past the wolf flashes with her there._ '

Alice's text had popped out of nowhere. As soon as we landed and I turned my phone back on, the message was there. I had barely had enough time to process it before Nell did the annoying thought-reading thing again:

"Your sister doesn't want me to leave, huh?"

"What did Alice say?" Bella demanded and I showed her the phone. "Oh!"

"Exactly."

The plan we had come up while up in the air was different. As soon as we were going to arrive at the Imelda R. Marcos Airport, Bella and I would remain in Mati, seek the most isolated beach and find a house to rent, while Nell woud head north, to Caraga, and do her own thing from that point on.

"I don't understand," the kid frowned.

"Neither do I," I admitted.

Yet I couldn't deny, deep down, that if Alice could suddenly see past the nothingness that came after the flashes of the werewolf, then... keeping Nell around might have not been the worst idea. But it felt too close to breaking one of the common-sense rules that Carlisle had urged us to follow: do not make friends along the way.

"We don't have to be friends. We just happen to have a common enemy," the girl said.

As we went through the passport control queues, I remained silent, focusing my attention on Bella. She was well-fed, I had made sure of that, but I still felt it was my absolute responsibility to keep her under control, had anything happened.

We managed to get out of the airport incident-free, but not before I stopped at an info-point desk to ask about the most secluded beaches that accepted extremely late check-ins. The woman behind the counter - a young and ever-smiling Filipina in her early twenties, from the looks of it - suggested the beaches close to Tabagakid. She even went the extra-mile and drew a small map. I saw Bella rolling her eyes near me, but I didn't understand why. Was I missing something?

We then headed to the nearest car rental shop and soon enough, we were out on the road, rushing north-west at 120 miles per hour, towards Mayo Bay. The streets were crowded, despite the late hour, and I kept Bella's hand in mine all throughout the drive, awaiting for the slightest sign that she might crack. Much to my relief, she did not.

The road became less populated as we passed the bridge over the Bitanagan River - and even more so when we passed the delta where Mayo River flowed freely into the Philippine Sea. In the back of my mind, I registered the beauty around us, albeit passingly: the air was drenched with the sweet tang that emanated from the coconut trees, while river tamarind shrubs were coating the ground in the most unexpected places. Orchids were in full bloom and I had managed to distinguish at least fifteen different endemic species.

The heat and the high humidity made Bella smell even more delicious. She had taken off the layers she had put on for show when we embarked on our plane in Belaya Gora. All that remained now were a tight cotton camisole and a pair of shapeless blue jeans. I had found myself staring at the way the material of her camisole clung to her skin more times than a gentleman should have. But there was something about the way the thin cotton molded so seamlessly on the infinite cream perfection of her chest, revealing the diaphanous outline of her breasts in a way that demanded worship, that I could not resist.

I had to force these thoughts to the back of my head when I remembered I was being heard. Concentrating on the world around me with Bella so exposed near me was difficult, but I tried my best.

"So," I began, in an attempt to distract myself. "We'll be renting a house for the time being, to have a place to stay during the day, if there are any humans nearby."

"I know."

"We can get you something close, if you'd like."

"Thank you, but I'd rather not. I like the forest just fine."

"You're aware that you could be seen in the forest, if you're not careful enough, right?"

"Please, I'm a pro at this. Some of us haven't lived in big fancy houses all their lives."

I decided to ignore her remark and blame it on her never having known the warmth of a home. Bella rolled her eyes and bit her lip, haf-hiding a smile.

When the cluster of houses of Tabagakid grew rarer, I stopped, parking the car under the cover of a palm tree. From that point on, it was clear that there was no other way to get to the secluded beaches the woman at the airport told us about without hiking - or, in our case, running.

Nell followed us, just to see where she could find us if needed - and to do the inevitable: discuss whatever battle plan we had if the werewolf could somehow track us this far away - and judging by everything that Carlisle had told me, it could. Luckily, we still had three days until the next full moon.

Right where the woods ended and a stretch of white sand began, a small cabin awaited. A sign written in Filipino read 'Available 24/7'. Although I could hear the snoring coming from inside, I knocked. Nell disappeared from our side before the man who was sleeping woke up, but I could hear her chuckling not far away.

The door opened and a man whose thoughts I could not read, thanks to Nell's proximity, showed up. His skin was tan and his body well-built for a human - a testament of his hours spent swimming in the sun, most probably.

He smiled a smile too wide upon seeing my wife. A small part of me understood the reaction: seeing the goddess-like creature that Bella was had to be overwhelming. I myself couldn't get used to her beauty, despite seeing her all day, every day. The bigger part of me felt the need to punch the smirk off the man's face.

His name was Guillermo and he spoke in broken English. I made it easier for him by switching to Filipino. It didn't take us long to strike a deal: he had many houses up for renting along the shore. The one that was most secluded was a few miles from there. He told me that for a small additional fee, he could rent us an ATV as well, to get there easier. We did not need the ATV, but it would have raised a few red flags if I admitted that out loud, so I accepted and paid up.

Half an hour later, we were parking the ATV in front of a sumptuous villa, in front of which Nell was already waiting.

"Took you long enough," she observed.

"Oh, shut up."

I took the bags in my hands and walked up to the porch, placing them there.

"Wow," Bella exclaimed, her eyes scouring the villa as she walked carefully on the sand.

"Do you like it?"

"It definitely reminds me of Isle Esme."

She looked at me and all of a sudden, her eyes filled up with warm invitations.

How I wanted to have this moment alone with her and respond to those invitations!

How I wanted to not have a parade of threats following us around!

And how I had to resign myself to the fact that I could not afford the luxury of just being happy with her, with nothing else to distract us.

"Uhm, so… the werewolf," Nell interrupted my mental anguish. "What do we do about it, if - or when - it shows up?"

"I hope you brought that lighter with you, because we might need it again," I said.

"Should we scare it away like the last time?" Bella asked.

I had thought about what was the best route to take when it came to taking down the beast countless times. I knew the logistics of how to kill it, of course, the question was whether I could do it on my own or not.

The encounter had taught me a few lessons about the beast's capabilities. First of all, it was strong, most likely just as strong as I was. Furthermore, it was fast - impossibly so. It had never outrun me, but it had always been inches away from doing so. Luckily, I had the advantage of being able to think clearly, whereas the werewolf did not, thanks to the curse of losing any glimmer of human conscience in its transformed state.

We could scare it away, of course. That was a viable option. But it would just come back, again and again, if it was anything like the werewolf that had followed Carlisle's friend, Abe. It was bad enough trying to remain under the radar to avoid the Volturi - having a Child of the Moon on our backs as well wouldn't have helped our situation.

The monster needed to die.

"You're willing to put your ass on the line with that thing just like that?" the girl's tone was tinged with what I could guess was genuine disbelief.

"I don't have much of a choice. Otherwise it will only come back. And I am definitely not going to rely on the Volturi's help with this - not given the circumstances."

"It makes sense, I guess… it's just that it seems pretty much unkillable."

"Nothing is unkillable."

"Edward," Bella looked up at me with a worried mien. "Nell's right though. You've never dealt with anything like this before. You only know the theoretical basis, right?"

"Yes, but I _did_ kill other powerful beings before, as you might remember."

The faces of James and Victoria flashed through my mind. They were always angry and vengeful in my memories, forever frozen in the state they were in right before their deaths.

"What if we trap it?" Bella pondered out loud, chasing away the ghosts of the past.

"There's no use - it is too strong, just like our kind," I explained.

"Okay, then we'll need a distraction."

"There will be no need for your heroics this time, my love," my tone was smooth, but loaded with a fierce warning.

"I know, I was thinking more of those fireballs Nell threw at it the last time."

"It might just run away if I throw one too many of those."

"Then you can just throw a few, to catch its attention, while Edward and I take care of it," Bella suggested.

I laughed - a bitter laugh, metallic and lacking any trace of amusement.

" _You_ will not take care of anything, Bella. I will."

"Then were all those trainings for nothing?" she counterattacked.

"Of course not. We've done those so that you can learn to protect yourself if it ever comes to that, not to launch a full-on attack."

"Only because you were so adamant about not doing the second part."

We frowned at each other until she gave up and looked away.

"So what?" Nell intervened. "I distract the stupid mutt just enough so that you can kill it? Is this it?"

"Yes. And if something doesn't work right, we'll chase it away using fire."

"I can work with that."

For a while, silence ruled over us. The only sounds remaining were those of the waves embracing the shore and of the cicadas singing eerie odes in the forest behind the villa. Bella had been right: this place was reminiscent of Isle Esme. The sand was just as white in the moonlight, the murmur of noises just as peaceful. My mind took me back to the night we had arrived there, right after our wedding.

I could almost taste the glee in the salty air when we got off the boat a little after midnight. Bella had been awake for over twenty hours by that point. The morning of our wedding, Alice had given her an enthusiastic wake-up call, before dragging her to our house in Forks to doll her up - as if she needed my sister's artifices. She made me wait miles and miles away, so that I could not catch any glimpse of my gorgeous bride in her thoughts.

The wedding had passed in a beautifully slow rhythm, leaving me time to cherish every moment and capture each second in my heart for the rest of eternity: seeing Bella for the first time in her exquisite 'Anne of Green Gables' inspired gown, saying our vows, hearing Bella say 'yes', kissing her when the pastor told me I may do so, dancing with her to Perry Como's 'Killing Me Softly With Her Song', the crowd around us disappearing as I held her in my arms and moved our bodies on the dance floor, eating cake for the sake of tradition, listening to the speeches our loved ones made, dancing with my sisters and my mother to celebrate a moment that we never thought would come, taking Bella's garter's off her thigh with my teeth, getting to hear Mike's mental rage when I threw the lacey garment right in his face.

After such a day, I had expected Bella to fall asleep at some point during our flights to Rio. But she didn't - she remained wide awake, constantly trying to guess where I was taking her. When we stepped off the boat, the sand was still exuding the heat collected during the day. Yet Bella's body felt ten times warmer as she stepped towards the house. The anticipation of our first night together was so palpable that I could almost distinguish its shape, like a third entity accompanying us. The only thing that stopped me from taking her clothes off right there and then and loving her on the scorching sand was Bella's request to give her a few human minutes for herself - a small price to pay for the rapture that followed.

The memory ended abruptly when Nell cleared her throat and said:

"So I guess I'll see you in a few days, right?"

"Yes."

As I began to search my pockets for the key to the house, Bella grabbed Nell's shoulder. The girl's reaction took both of us by surprise: she flinched visibly, almost as if the touch hurt. Bella retreated her hand immediately and started a long string of apologies.

"No, no, it's fine, I promise," Nell mumbled. "It's just… I hate being touched. It's just how I am. But it's no big deal. What is it that you wanted to say?"

Bella's emotions were all over the place and evident in her furrowed brows. She seemed to ponder whether to insist or go back to whatever she had wanted to say in the first place.

"I just… I had a favour to ask of you, actually. If it's not too much."

"That depends."

I felt clueless for the shortest second, before understanding.

"Your theory about me being a shield got me thinking," my wife said, ignoring me. "And I've had some discussions with one of my sisters. She suggested that if I really were a shield, there might be a chance for me to extend that power to those around me. She'd met someone that could do something similar long ago, back in the '30s."

"Oh… okay?"

"And I wanted to test this theory, to see if it holds up. But I needed someone else besides Edward to do this..."

"Oh!"

I noticed Bella becoming unusually fidgety as she spoke. She had become so composed ever since her change, that it almost took me by surprise. If her silent mind didn't betray her nervousness, her small gestures surely did.

"I just need an hour or so of your time, Nellie. Just to try it. Please?"

The girl sighed deeply.

"And what is it that I'm supposed to do?"

"I think staying close by to see if I can extend this defense mechanism to Edward, so that you can no longer steal his gift, would be enough."

It was my turn to sigh now. Carlisle's words came back to me instantly: do not make friends. We were surely balancing on the very edge of some uncrossable line with this.

"Well..." Nell murmured, surprisingly ignoring my thoughts. "I guess I don't have anything better to do right now anyway, so I don't see why not."

Bella smiled and it was hard not to return her smile - albeit halfheartedly - when she glanced up at me.

"Come on, let's go inside to unpack first," I said, grabbing her by the waist and leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

I caught another glimpse of the perfect slope of her breasts when I looked down at her. I wished she would have had another layer covering her. My hands closed into fists as I tried to banish the sensual image to the back of my mind, before it lured me too deep into the realm of fantasies.

I unlocked the wide front door and opened it, allowing Bella, then Nell, to walk inside, and following right after them. We were welcomed by a canopy of indoor plants: yuccas and dragon trees and orchids, intertwining with one another and forming a green baldaquin. Beyond it, I could see an ample common space, consisting of a living room and a kitchen that were separated by wide glass doors. However, that was not what truly caught my attention - but rather the grand piano on the side, with a shiny black case bracing its internal construction. It had been so long since I had played the piano, that I hadn't even realized how much I actually missed it.

Looking around further, I could already imagine Esme being pleased with the neoclassical design elements that dominated the interior. Traditional elegance was the defining feature of the furniture pieces, while contemporary sophistication seemed to rule over the placing of every detail: from the geometrical flower vases to the ebony shelves on the walls. In the very back of the ground floor, another two transparent glass doors led to a bathroom. The tub inside was placed right by a wall made entirely out of windows, facing the woods behind the house directly. A few feet away from the bathroom, a spiral staircase led to the other floor - and I could smell a faint perfume of detergent and fabric softener coming from upstairs.

"Holy shit, this looks expensive _as fuck_!" Nell exclaimed.

"Watch your mouth, kid," I suggested politely.

"Thanks, but no thanks - you don't get to tell me what to do."

"This is beautiful," Bella interrupted our argument.

I smiled and let our luggage down.

"Why don't you get started with your little experiment, love? I'll be right back with you as soon as I put these clothes into the washing machine. After all, we don't know when we will have access to one again."

"Okay, but hurry, please! I might need you in close proximity for it to work - that is... _if_ it works."

I leaned down to kiss her. Her lips yielded to mine and opened out of habit, allowing her flavour to roll on my tongue. I made the mistake of getting deeper with my kiss and that was all it took: a flash-memory of her riding me plummeted through my thoughts before I could do anything about it.

 _No, no, no!_ Not while I could be heard.

I pulled away instantly, the craving for more burning in the pit of my stomach. I could tell the same fire burned inside Bella as well, judging by her suddenly-dilated pupils. I grabbed the luggage from the floor and stalked out of there, almost flying over the stairs, until I found the laundry room upstairs. It was imbued with the chemical scents of cleaning products.

One by one, I took all of our clothes out and put them into the washing machine. I dosed the detergent and the fabric softener, chose the spin cycle and pressed the 'go' button. The machine began to rumble and I remained unmoved for several moments, watching it rotate. The laughter coming from downstairs woke me up and I went back immediately.

The long sofa was occupied. Bella and Nell were facing each other - Bella with her eyes closed and her index fingers pressed to her temples, the slightest smile curling her lips, and Nell playing mindlessly with her hair, smiling just the same. I didn't want to disrupt whatever it was that my wife was trying to do at that moment, so I sat down beside her without making a sound.

"You look like a Jedi or something," Nell commented after a few minutes.

"This doesn't help," Bella complained.

"Have you even seen any 'Star Wars'?" I asked.

"No, 'cause they're for dorks. I'd rather watch 'The Silence of the Lambs' on repeat than suffer through one of those."

I laughed. Emmett would've had some strong opinions on this. I, on the other hand, liked 'The Silence of the Lambs' just fine.

"That is a good choice," I admitted.

"Guys!" Bella complained, opening her eyes. "I'm losing my focus here."

"I apologize," I said and took her hand in mine for a quick kiss. "I'll let you focus. Did you feel anything in particular?"

"I'm not sure if I did or if it was just my imagination. But when I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough, it is like I can feel points of warmth where each one of you is staying."

"Do it again then," I encouraged her. "See if you can feel that once more."

And she did. I waited in silence, all of my attention focused on hearing Nell's thoughts. But her mind remained closed, not a hint of an opening. Bella's body began to tense up when an hour passed without results.

"It is absolutely fine, it doesn't have to work instantly," I tried to uplift her spirits.

"Or it does and I'm just playing pretend like an idiot."

"You are anything but an idiot, my love."

She let loose a disappointed sigh.

"I don't know, maybe it's not supposed to extend."

"You said you felt points of warmth, right?"

"I did."

"Maybe concentrate more on those and less on extending your mental protection per se. See what happens."

"Hmmm."

"And relax a bit, it is not a race."

She tried once again. And when it didn't work, again. And again. This went on for a while. Caught between encouraging Bella to go on and trying to sense any weaknesses in Nell's mental barrier, I barely noticed another hour had passed - until Nell pointed it out.

"I'm sorry I kept you so long here," Bella murmured, when she realized how much time had passed. "You can go whenever, I promise."

"It's fine. It was getting boring, but I can stay longer. If you could give me a book or something, it would be amazing."

"Any preferences?" I asked.

"Anything that is not 'Catcher in the Rye' goes."

I rolled my eyes at the young-like pretentiousness. Nevertheless, I went to look through the books I had brought from Forks. I felt inclined to grab the first title and go, yet I found myself stupidly wondering: what would a sassy teenager enjoy? I skipped past the obvious 'Lord of the Flies' and 'A Wrinkle in Time' and found my answer when the spine of one of Bella's favourites, 'Little Women', peeked at me.

I returned to the living room with the book in my hand, noticing that none of them had moved an inch. Nell raised her eyebrows when I handed the book to her.

"A respectable choice," she said. "Thank you."

"Of course, you're welcome."

And with that, the experimenting resumed. Bella's tries stretched all the way into the morning, until the seagulls woke up and began cawing outside. By the time the sun was up in the sky, there had been an improvement - big enough to bring a transparent ray of hope, yet somehow small enough to make Bella feel unworthy. When she concentrated intensely, I could hear a low buzz emanating from Nell. The static sound was clear in my mind, but it never turned into more - as if I was close to the area where I could catch a radio wave, but not close enough to hear it properly.

"I guess that's it for today," Bella concluded.

"You've done amazing so far, love."

"I've felt your thoughts getting foggy a few times," Nell added, her eyes fixated on me.

This was _good_ \- especially since none of us particularly had any idea about how shielding was supposed to work.

"Thank you for helping with this, Nell," Bella muttered.

"Yeah, yeah, we're cool."

Nell raised up from the sofa, leaving Bella's copy of 'Little Women' behind, since she had finished it.

"Nellie, is it too much to ask you to do this again tonight?"

The girl hesitated.

"Hm, I guess I could come again."

Bella's eyes lightened up in an instant. It was clear that this meant so much for her. I could understand why: she had felt like a freak for so long due to her unreadable thoughts, that having some sort of an explanation for it must have brought a level of content to the table.

"I'll have to find some way to repay you."

"Well, you did bring me here, so I'd say this evens it out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going hunting in the woods, to power up a little."

"Be careful - there might not be many people around these places, but it is daytime and it is better to be safe than sorry," I advised her and, in return, she rolled her eyes at me.

"Live a little, old man!"

She left before I finished my comeback - but I knew she had heard it.

As soon as we were alone, Bella removed the distance between us and crawled into my lap, her thighs pressing against each side of my waist.

"God, if this is what it's like to have kids, I am most certainly happy that we can't have any," I mumbled.

My wife laughed.

"I think it can be worse. You're forgetting about the diaper-changing phase that parents go through, Edward. Or the one in which they're so preoccupied with the baby, that they barely get to have sex."

"Well, _that_ would have never been an issue for us. I wouldn't have let one day pass without loving every inch of you."

She laughed again.

"No, but really, I like Nell. She seems like a good kid. And she helped me today so much just by agreeing to stay here."

"She is… all right," I agreed. "But she'd probably be more agreeable if she didn't have her annoying stealing gift."

"It doesn't affect me," her smile was smug.

I grabbed her waist tightly and pulled her body closer to mine. She was doing that camisole a huge favour just by wearing it.

"Then please, my love, keep her out of my head," I murmured.

"I'm trying, believe me."

"I know. And you have no idea how amazing you are."

Her bottom lip quivered, turning her smile into a pout.

"I don't know about 'amazing'. I feel oddly drained right now, mentally speaking."

I traced her lovely pout with my finger.

"You've strained yourself a lot last night, Bella."

"And I plan on repeating that."

No surprise there.

"I know, but now you need to relax a little. Why don't you close your eyes?"

Her eyebrows danced up at my suggestion, but she didn't question it. She let her eyelids fall over her irises.

Carefully - almost as delicately as if she were human - I traced the rest of her face with my fingers. I caressed her flimsy lids, her adorable nose, her alabaster cheeks, her narrow chin, feeling the rest of her body loosening up as I went on. Her lips opened when I arrived at them again, but I didn't push it. Instead, I trailed off to her neck.

"Edward..."

"Yes, beautiful?"

Her breath came out rushed.

"Is it wrong that this turns me on like mad?"

I laughed, clamping my hand around her neck.

"Everything turns you on," I teased her.

A bold thing of me to say, since I wasn't any better at controlling my desire than she was. Only I - and disturbingly, Nell - knew how many times I had had to push back the thoughts of tearing Bella's camisole open in the past twenty-four hours.

"I can't help it," she uttered, opening her eyes. "Your very presence is driving me crazy."

A growl of lust grew in my chest and, grabbing her neck tighter with my hand, I pulled her face down for a kiss. Our mouths opened and this time, I had no reason to keep it light. I attacked her tongue with mine and her moan echoed in the back of my throat. My free hand found her ass and squeezed hard.

Bella grabbed my shirt and one second later, it was no longer there. I couldn't care less about her ripping it to bits. At that moment, it was impossible to find the strength to undress each other patiently. The remains of our clothes fell to the ground between two blinks. Next thing I knew, Bella was lowering herself down my shaft.

I groaned like a man possessed upon feeling her hot interior gripping me tightly - the all too powerful feeling of homecoming hit me. She began to move slowly, maddeningly so. I grabbed her breasts in my hands, feeling the electrical current in my body demanding more friction.

"Faster," I commanded.

"Make me," she managed, out of breath.

My mouth fell open at her delightful audacity. My hips pushed upward, trying to drive her to pick her pace up. She saw my eagerness and started rocking back and forth, slower even. As insane as she made me feel with her sensual movements, I surrendered to her wishes.

"Oh, you want slow, sweetheart?" I whispered. "We'll do slow."

The perfect mounds of her chest danced right in front of me, demanding attention, so I reached out and took one perfect nipple in my mouth, forming a vacuum around it. Bella cried out and locked her fingers in my hair.

" _Yes, Edward, I could come just from that_..."

I sucked harder, pleased. I broke away for a moment, to look up at her and ask:

"Care to test that theory out?"

She seemed puzzled.

"What theory?"

I laughed softly, convinced that she was messing with me. When her confusion didn't disappear from her face, I responded:

"About you coming just by having me suck on your nipples?"

She then stopped her movement altogether, but didn't break our connection.

"But I didn't say anything," Bella muttered. "I thought about it, but..."

It wouldn't have been the first time one of us had guessed exactly what the other wanted. It had happened in the past for so many times - even before we got to spend our first night together, when we were still 'training' for our honeymoon in her room. By that point, there were no secrets as to what each one of us liked and needed from the other.

Still, none of this mattered, because I had _heard_ her say the words. As clear as a bell. And I was sure as hell it was physically impossible for me to hallucinate.

Then, while I was looking in her eyes, searching for a reasonable explanation, it hit me.

"Bella," I said, trying to remain collected - as if such a thing was possible, when one of the most monumental moments in my life had just happened. "I think I just heard your thoughts."

* * *

**To all of you following my story, thank you SO much for having the interest and patience to read! It means everything, honestly.**

**If you've got any thoughts - small or big, positive or critical - about this chapter or the story in general, I am always happy to read and respond to them! They're the highlight of my day in these chaotic times we are all living in.**

**Take care of you and stay safe and happy!**


	16. Revealing

**Hello, lovely people! This chapter has a trigger warning - I put it in the end notes, so as not to spoil the events within it. If you are not particularly sensitive to any subject, you can skip it.**

* * *

If a man would have won the lottery, met the love of his life and became resistant to all known illnesses - all in one day - he still wouldn't have felt as happy as I felt in that moment. There were no words to encompass this powerful feeling. 'Joy' was a gross understatement. 'Glee' did not even begin to cover it. 'Euphoria' felt too shallow.

I tried searching for an equivalent in Spanish. In German. In French. In Dutch. In Mandarin. In Russian. In Hindi. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could describe the Big Bang that was taking place within me - for all the love I felt for Bella had imploded, expanding within my every vein, and I could no longer feel like a material being.

Instead, I felt made of light - of the purest, most angelic light, stolen right from the gates of Heaven and brought to Earth by a stealthy seraph. Who was this seraph that wanted me to feel this supreme bliss? What had I ever done to deserve it?

The only thing pulling me back into the living room, back on to the sofa, was Bella moving slightly, reminding me that we were still inside one another.

"You said you heard me?" she asked, her voice as shocked as my brain. "Like… _heard_ me?"

"Loud and clear, my love."

I was smiling like an idiot, but I couldn't help it.

"Well, can you hear me now?"

"No, it is gone. I only caught a glimpse of it. But it was _so_ beautiful. The best thing I had heard in my existence."

Bella's face went through a myriad of expressions in the span of a few seconds: surprise and embarrassment and awe. I wanted to hear her again. And again and again and again for the rest of eternity.

I grabbed her face in my hands, pulling her close, until our foreheads met.

"Please, show me again," I whispered. "I _need_ to see more. Please, my Bella, please..."

"But I don't know what I did!"

My arms locked her in place like steel girders.

"I am begging you."

"How? I have no idea whatsoever how it happened in the first place."

She pulled away, breaking my grip a little.

"Maybe...", I began, making a deliberate effort to temper my enthusiasm. "You focused for so long on extending your shield last night, that it accidentally slipped altogether."

"Can I really do that?"

"You definitely did it there for a second. If you could try again, my love… just for a moment, please... please..."

My enthusiasm came back doubled, and I rushed to kiss her neck. My lips were ridiculously fervent against her skin, as if they might have made Bella's defenses slip again just by overwhelming her with kisses - but it was worth trying, that much I knew.

She was panting in my arms, under my attack. I felt her muscles clenching around me, her wetness dripping slowly on my testicles. My mind was equally divided between two cravings: the one for her mind and the one for her body. I wanted both.

God, I had to have both!

"Let me hear that beautiful mind of yours..."

Bella gasped and started moving zealously on my shaft, her clitoris crashing against my pubic bone each time her hips came down. As she moved, my mouth explored every inch of skin available within reach: her earlobes, her face, her throat, her clavicle, her shoulders, her arms, her breasts - there was so much of her to love and I couldn't leave any inch ignored.

In the background of my fervour, I noticed her breath picking up.

"Oh, God, I'm coming! Edward, I'm..."

Her body finished her sentence for her, sending her into a spiral of pleasure. She buried her fingernails in my shoulders and let out an animalistic, helpless cry. Full of hope, I watched her letting go and waited for her thoughts to make an accidental comeback.

They didn't.

Bella's eyes were half-closed when we looked at each other again.

"I love you so much," I whispered. "You're my absolute everything."

With her hips already moving again, she touched my face and responded:

"I love you too, Edward. More than anyone has ever loved anyone."

I was ready to contradict her when her mouth rammed into mine, overtaking my senses. We devoured each other as our bodies moved in unison. If only I knew what I could do to trigger her shield to fall again…

Without much thinking, I grabbed Bella, wrenching her from my lap and placing her face down on the sofa, right beside me.

"On your knees, love," I requested. "Now."

It took her less than a second to comply. She supported herself on her elbows, raising up her ass in the air to be at the same level with my pelvis. I couldn't resist this perfect sight and I got a hold of her ample buttocks, savouring the way the soft flesh yielded under my touch.

Still playing with her buttocks, I let myself slide inside her, all the way up to her cervix. We groaned loudly - in this particular position, I could reach a perfect spot inside her, so deep and warm that it felt like my own personal Nirvana, from which I never wanted to exit. I listened closely, but the only sounds were her jagged breaths and the lascivious music of my thrusts meeting her wet arousal.

_What are you thinking, love?_

"Tell me your exact thoughts," I pleaded, easing the rhythm of my plunges, but still going as deep as her body allowed.

She moaned and grabbed a small decorative pillow tightly in her hands before responding to me:

"Honestly? I'm thinking... how big you are."

My damned male ego rejoiced. I pushed even deeper, in smug emphasis.

"Mmmmm… good, what else?"

"And… oh, God… how... you never entered me this deep when I was human... so that you didn't hurt me."

I smiled at the memory, not once stopping my thrusts.

"You were too fragile for your own good, love. More, please."

She was struggling to continue, but managed to:

"How it felt when you took me from behind for the first time."

Her voice was merely a whisper. I remembered that first time perfectly. On a thick blanket spread across the warm sand of Isle Esme, with the twilight surrounding us in its violet glory, I had entered Bella's body from behind slowly and with the greatest care in the world, discovering new and unexpected angles and trying not to thrust too hard, as my instinct told me to.

"You've been amazing that night," I murmured, rejoicing in the memory. "How did it feel for you?"

I pushed again, hard and aggressive, making her grab the pillow tighter.

"It hurt a little, but it hurt so good."

"My little masochist," I teased and gathered her thick locks in my hand and pulled. "You came even in your sleep that night..."

That wet dream she had had upon finally falling asleep after hours of making love had been an unexpected surprise. She had woken up moaning, all flushed and confused. To ease up her confusion, I had decided to go down on her and lick her clean. One orgasm later, she was fast asleep again.

"What else is going on in that mind of yours?" I asked eagerly.

My movements grew more erratic as she told me the workings of her brain.

"Ah… how much I like it when..."

She stopped mid-sentence to whimper when I pulled harder on her hair.

"When?" I pressed.

"When… you subdue me like this," she managed, before losing herself into another moan.

"Oh, Bella..."

I wondered if she could guess how each word of hers drove me closer to my limits. I was ready to explode.

"Tell me more," I begged. "Tell me exactly what you want."

I was slamming against her, no longer able to maintain my focus. My existence had been reduced to the fusion of our bodies. She felt good and tight and like home.

"I… God, I..."

"Yes, say it..."

"Just fuck me as hard as you can, Edward!" her words came with a gasp and my whole world short-circuited in that instant.

She had _never_ used that word to express what she wanted from me. She did have a lovably strong reaction when I first used it with her, in a joking manner - and all the times after that, not in the slightest bit jokingly - but she never used it herself.

Where I was coming from, this particular word wasn't to be said in the presence of a lady - much less by a lady herself. Times and beliefs had changed, but I remained the same for so long, that I hadn't really considered changing what I knew for the sake of progressing along with the rest of the world. But when Bella came along, I had to second-guess everything - including this.

Polite or not by the standards of the time I grew up in, the fact of the matter remained the same: I wanted to fuck Bella. She wanted me to fuck her. And I would be damned if I had to hide that truth from my wife just for the sake of keeping in touch with my traditional credences.

So I did what she asked me to and gave it my all. With her hair in my fist, my fingers dipped in the flesh of her hip, I thrust with all the speed and force I was capable of, until we both lost it. Our voices calling each other's names filled the house as we collapsed over the edge. I continued to move as my climax filled her up to the brim, her contractions milking every last drop of venom out of me.

When Bella's echoing orgasms ended, I noticed that the pillow she had grabbed so tightly in her hands moments ago was shredded. I got out slowly and turned her around on her back, to look at her face. She looked irresistible and in need for more.

"Angel..." I whispered, cupping her face in my hands and leaning down to kiss her. "My only angel."

She pulled me in her warming embrace and I wished to remain in her arms until the end of time.

We spent the rest of the day alternating between making love and me trying to get her to drop her shield again. And each time my attempts failed, I begged for her out loud thoughts - and she gave them to me, with no restraints. Still, I craved to hear them at the exact moment her brain was forming them.

We stopped a few times to update our family about our whereabouts and plans, and learn about theirs in return. They all remained in their respective cities, waiting for a sign from Alice's visions - but she was eighty-five percent convinced that the Volturi weren't going to come out again soon, given the fact that the story about the Wilsons was beginning to die down a little and Cochran hadn't made any new statements. But it was that fifteen percent that kept us on our toes.

When I talked to Esme, she told me, in her forever-hopeful manner, that she was convinced we would be back together soon, despite the odds. I tried to entertain that thought, even if just for a while. The possibility of seeing my family again brought me so much content - content that I could not allow myself for too long.

One thing I knew for sure: I missed them all. I missed Esme asking me to play her favourite songs on the piano. I missed Alice and our completely unfair chess games. I missed Jasper easing up my worries when I went overboard - and him always teasing me for it. I missed fighting with Emmett and Esme coming to separate us, tired of our antics. I even missed Rosalie and how she condescendingly liked to show me how to fix seemingly-unfixable car damages.

And I missed Carlisle. I missed him and everything about him: his calm demeanour, his kindness, his patience; our conversations, our debates, our silent mental dialogues; his endless love for us, his kids.

He and Esme were worried about me and Bella more than usual. Up until that point, Carlisle had been the only one in the family who had ever encountered a Child of the Moon - but that meeting happened over a century ago, back when he was still part of the Volturi, which meant that he hadn't been alone when facing it. They had gone about killing it using the usual technique of the Volturi: luring it underground, into the lightless catacombs of Vatican, and launching a multiple attack on it.

But given that there were no catacombs in Mati and our group of three was hardly prepared to launch a proper attack, we had to make do with our plan of 'distract and attack' - the only plan that made sense, yet not enough for Esme to feel more at ease.

Carlisle's initial reservations towards Nell began to wither when I told him about her again. I wanted to be by his side to understand what it was about our temporary alliance that convinced him to not press his 'no friends' rule further. Was it his intrinsic paternal instincts? Was it the fact that she helped Bella discover a fraction of her power? Was it Nell's willingness to help us fight the werewolf? Whatever it was, it set my curiosity ablaze, especially when my father said:

"If all goes well, I would like to meet her one day."

Until that day came - _if_ it ever came, we had to meet up with her again, for a new round of training. Bella and I dressed up and started to clean up the evidence of our activities. We had left venom stains on almost every surface of the ground floor, but mixing every cleaning product we had found proved to be enough to conceal them.

When the moon rose up over the horizon, I heard the low thuds of Nell running. She entered the house like she owned the place and I couldn't help but think about how inappropriate that was. Sometimes I felt as if common sense grew thinner with each new generation. And I also felt that that was quite a counterintuitive thought to have in the presence of a kid who liked to call me 'old man' whenever she had the chance.

"Thank you for coming," Bella welcomed her.

Nell nodded and didn't hesitate to make herself comfortable on the sofa. I noticed her eyes had a more golden hue today - she must have fed on animals this time around.

"So is this how you, rich people, lived in Forks?" she asked.

It seemed as if she liked to constantly remind us of the material aspects of our way of living. To top it off, she always laughed at these little jokes of hers. I was well aware that humour was subjective, but that knowledge still didn't make her puns any more funny - or any less annoying.

"We did have a big house there," I admitted.

She chuckled.

"It's like you wanted to throw the legacy of our species to the ground by being so… I don't know, man, boring? Predictable? No, I go back to 'boring'."

"You might be too young to get this," - a little sting punctured my tone - "but 'boring' is your best bet when you want to go unnoticed."

"Well, obviously not. I've managed to go pretty much unnoticed - if we don't count that accidental meeting with Jane and Alec - without going all upper-class."

"That is because we have a filter and only feed on animals, kid, unlike some other folks."

My snide remark didn't go unnoticed.

"I feed on animals too, okay? And humans. So what? I'll take what I can get."

"It might be a little excessive," I pointed out.

"If you've been left to fend for yourself when you're still a couple of months into being a vampire, anything goes."

"Wait", Bella intervened. "Why were you left to fend for yourself?"

"Because my father died," she answered matter-of-factly, not really looking at either of us.

The silence that followed was short. Still, it burned in the air like incense in a church, perfusing the atmosphere. Bella was the first one to speak up:

"Your father, do you mean… the one who created you?"

"Yes. He was my father - my biological father, I mean."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"There's not much to be understood. He was changed soon after I turned 15 and decided to change me right after as well."

If before my inability to read this girl's mind had only been a slight inconvenience, it suddenly became more than that. I had previously guessed that there was more under the surface than she let on, but I never insisted - and why would I have done that? We were _not_ friends. Only acquaintances with a common goal.

But I decided that it didn't matter. For better or for worse, we were stuck together for two more days, until the moon reached its full phase, and there was no harm in voicing my curiosity.

"Your own father got changed and then… he changed you as well?" I asked. "Just because he could?"

"Yes, but you make it sound worse than it was. It's no big deal, really."

"You do that a lot."

"What?"

 _Brushing things off_. _Trying to act all detached and cool_.

"I'm not doing that. I just don't like to dwell on my past. So my father got changed and changed me as well. Life's like that sometimes."

"Who changed your father?"

"Like I have a clue. He never told me."

She shrugged and threw me a defiant look. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of father would willingly put his own child through the painful throes of transforming - and what kind of father would condemn his spawn to an existence of blood thirst. This was hardly something a sane parent could have wished.

But then again, love could make you take questionable decisions - I should have known that better than anyone. After all, I did condemn Bella to the very same things Nell's father did with his child, so I wasn't any better. In many ways, I might have been worse - especially given the blood feast I had indulged on right before changing her.

Still, how could I have not changed her? It had always been what she wanted. The more I postponed it in my stubbornness, the more I hurt her. The more I tried to dance around it, the worse it got. No argument - after almost a year of arguing back and forth - convinced her to give up her convictions.

However, Nell had been transformed when she was still very much a kid, unlike Bella. No kid could have the mental ability to consent to such a thing. And I couldn't imagine a scenario in which a father would try to persuade his daughter to choose this life. It felt wrong on so many levels.

"Okay, you are taking it way too far," Nell interrupted my thought process.

"Am I?"

"My father was not perfect, but I am not resenting him for this. He's done worse things in comparison."

She turned her eyes away completely, as if to avoid our sudden stares, and started talking again, giving us no chance to ask "what worse things?".

"He died soon after anyway."

"How?" I queried.

I noticed her jaw clenching the shortest of seconds before she voiced up her response:

"He tried fighting off some other vampire to get to his prey and it ended badly. I've been alone ever since."

Silence fell once again - this time more lasting. I didn't know what I should have said to comfort her. In an odd way, it didn't seem like she actually needed to be comforted, but it was hard to tell with my missing ability.

"I have no idea how we got here, but can we please get down to business?" Nell broke the quietness. "That shield won't train itself, am I right or am I right?"

I watched Bella's reaction. Her face seemed conflicted for a short moment, but she pushed out a smile and uttered a semi-convincing 'sure'.

We sat down on the sofa, on the opposite end of where Nell was lounging. As the experimenting with Bella's shield awkwardly resumed, I began to wonder about Nell's past more than I usually allowed myself to do. I still wasn't used to the fact that I couldn't use my special 'hearing' to figure the missing pieces out on my own, without having to press for information.

I couldn't help but wonder what Carlisle would have made out of the whole situation. I liked to believe I knew him well enough to guess that he would have considered it inhumane. He had always kept his principle of only changing people who were on the verge of dying. People whose lives were as good as lost without his intervention. People who needed saving.

However, I knew he could understand changing someone out of love - he never judged me for giving in to Bella's wish and to my own personal selfishness when I had decided to change my beloved. More than that, during one of our late night discussions, he even told me that he would have done the same with Esme. I knew he didn't say it just to make me feel better - his mind, as pure and benevolent as always, had confirmed his words before he even voiced them.

But this was quite different. Nell hadn't exactly been in need of saving upon her transformation, as far as I knew. So what had been so urgent about him changing her when she was still at the unripe age of 15? Would my father or mother have been able to come up with a reasonable enough explanation, given that they were the closest to the concept of parenthood in our family?

"Do you mind bringing me another book, please?" Nell asked, her face not giving away any contempt for my thoughts.

"I'll see what I can find."

I almost didn't look when I picked up my copy of 'Rebecca' from the luggage. I offered it to Nell without a word and sat down on the sofa next to my wife, but I was no longer there mentally. As Bella got back to trying to extend her shield, I could already see the Alaskan northern lights in my mind. Undersaturated greens and blues and purples, swirling around each other to veil the sky above. And next to me, Tanya.

It was the winter of 1979. Carlisle was off-work for the holidays, so our family had taken that as an opportunity to visit our cousins in Denali. It was our third day there and the first day when my need to catch a break from everyone's thoughts had prompted me to go and find some solace up the mountain. My peace didn't last long, Tanya following me soon after. At that time, she was in her 'skimpy clothes' phase. She had enough dignity not to wear them around the house, of course, but not enough for when we were alone.

As we sat on the snow, the only thing covering her body was a transparent nightgown. I had no interest in catching more accidental glimpses of her bare body underneath than I had already done, so I tried to keep my eyes on the sky and nothing else as we talked. That night was the first time she told me about how her mother died.

Sasha wasn't really her biological mother, but her great-aunt. Regardless, she was the one who had changed Tanya into a vampire thousands of years ago. Although a lot of time had passed, the memory of her death still haunted Tanya - maybe that night more than usual, given the fact that it was the black anniversary of the day she got killed by the Volturi.

Tanya didn't do much talking with her mouth - instead, she let her mind take the reins. Slowly, she let me in on her most painful memory: she had just found out her mother's best kept secret: the innocent looking and mass-murderer Vasilii, a three year old Sasha had changed herself. I saw Jane's smile through her recollection of events, as she took the kid in her arms and threw him in the fire.

Vasilii's sole existence was considered a sin in itself in the vampire world. Immortal children were absolutely forbidden, their affinity for wreaking havoc being too much of a threat for the great secrecy of our species. The Volturi made sure to eradicate them and their creators one by one. They seemed to draw the line at around the age of 13 - quite possibly because that happened to be the age when Jane and Alec had been transformed.

Tanya was sobbing ever so slightly by the time her thoughts changed back to that present moment.

"I am so very sorry for her," I murmured and, unsure of how to comfort her without my gesture being misinterpreted, I patted her on the head. When she leaned back, to make the touch last one second longer than intended, I removed my hand. It was all too easy for her to take advantage of my friendship.

"The worst part is… I'll never know why she did it," she sighed after a while, when the sting of rejection faded.

"I bet you have your theories by now."

" _I have a few. She'd always wanted children of her own, for instance..._ "

"That could be it," I admitted, although I still could not condone such a decision.

" _She felt lonely._ "

"She had you and your sisters, Tanya. She was not alone."

"Being alone and being lonely are two very different things, mister."

"But why condemn such a young soul to damnation for this?" I pondered out loud.

It took her a while to go through her hypotheses, before responding:

"Maybe because you love that particular soul so much that you never want to see it grow up. You can't bear one more day without knowing it is safe and yours forever."

That particular response made no sense at the time. But right now, as I was sitting in the living room with Bella and Nell, wondering about what could possibly have been the reason that signed Nell's fate in her father's eyes, I began to understand - if only a little.

 _Never wanting to see your kid grow up_.

I tried to picture this impossibility: in some non-existent parallel universe, in which the rules of biology could be bent in any direction, Bella and I having a kid. Maybe a girl. She would have her mother's eyes and sharp wit. She would have my hair and my penchant for music. I would love her, for she would be part of Bella. I would have no choice but to love any life stemming from my beloved wife. But would I be able to let her grow up, knowing that danger could strike any moment and take her away from us? Or would I cave and change her, just to make sure she will remain with us for the rest of eternity?

Then I saw Carlisle's face in my mind and the answer was obvious: no kid was ever worth condemning to this lifestyle, no matter how noble the intention or how great the love behind the gesture. It was inexcusable.

"Dude!" Nell's voice burst like a popped balloon in the silence of the room. "I am sorry, but it is very difficult to be in your head with all those thoughts of yours. Let me save you the trouble of going through all these theories of why my father changed me."

My eyebrows raised in surprise. Besides me, Bella looked both confused and annoyed that her concentration had been broken.

"I am sorry," I rushed to say. "You don't have to explain anything. I'm not asking you to."

"It's not like it is some big secret, so I'll spare myself of all this angsty blabber and tell you now. It wasn't some grand act of ultimate parental love. He did some messed up shit with me when I was human, okay? And he didn't want to see me grow and lose that, so he changed me. End of story."

"Nellie..."

In the back of my mind, I barely registered the fact that it was me that called her 'Nellie' this time, not Bella.

She didn't have to expand on the 'some messed up shit' portion. I didn't have to read her mind to understand one simple, painful truth: she was a victim of child abuse. How many child abusers had I killed in the past? Too many to count. Yet clearly not enough. In their minds I had seen, time and time again, the faces of too many helpless children. Kids who had not had a guardian angel with them when they had met those demons. Kids whose innocence got disrupted without them having a say in the matter. Kids who had a wake up to the perverse side of humanity before they even knew such a thing existed. Kids like Nellie.

Although I was way past my playing-God phase, the rage towards these criminals was still there, still potent. Most of the time, it laid dormant. But in that particular moment, it resurfaced and filled me with the shameful desire to end them all.

"I am so very sorry..." Bella murmured and her hand reached out to meet Nell's.

The kid retreated her hand immediately.

"I guess that's why I don't like being touched," she mumbled. "The thing is I don't remember the… details. They're blurry memories now. I guess I would have been quite fucked up right now if I did. But it's not the first thing I bring up into the conversation either."

She laughed a humorless laugh and deep within my core, I felt a strange yearning, one that, throughout the years, hadn't been directed towards many people: the yearning to protect.

"Did… did your mother know?" Bella asked.

"I think she did. But she didn't do anything really. She had a lot on her plate, 'cause she was drinking a lot, you know?"

What a terrible home to grow up in.

"No kid should go through that," I said and watched as her face changed into a grimace. "I am terribly sorry this happened to you."

"Yeah, but… it is not all bad, because I think this is why I have the gift that I have. Growing up with parents like that, you kind of have to learn to dissociate sometimes - like a protective mechanism. I guess that coping tool reflected in some way in this life."

She shrugged and finally looked back in our direction. Her ginger eyes didn't seem as sad as her story. I had a new appreciation for this girl who only weeks ago had been nothing but a stranger. And within this appreciation there was also dread: dread that Bella and I were getting closer to Nell at the least appropriate time of our lives.

"Anyway, so I hope that settles it," she uttered.

"You didn't have to do this, you know?"

"I know. I wanted to. And now I'd like to get back to reading, if you don't mind."

"By all means," my wife said and her eyes flew in my direction.

We looked at each other and for a second, I saw in them a spark I had never seen until that very moment. It was warm and profound and beautiful and strange. It was difficult to understand it in its entirety, but of one thing I was absolutely positive: until that very moment, I had only seen that spark in Esme's eyes.

* * *

**Trigger warning: This chapter contains non-explicit mentions of child abuse.**

* * *

**If you've got this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read, you are amazing!**

**I would be absolutely thrilled to know what your thoughts on this chapter were.**

**Also, I've got NEWS! I've just posted a little outtake for this story, if you might be interested! It takes place before the events of "After Nightfall" and it deals with how exactly Bella convinced Edward to do some "practice" before their first night together ;). Oh, and it is written from Edward's point of view as well, because I seemingly can't get enough of being in this character's head.**

**Until next time, stay safe and stay happy!**


	17. Shielding

My Bella had done it. For exactly three seconds, Nell's silence disappeared and I could _hear_ again. I didn't get to hear much, other than her analysis of the way Mrs. Danvers from 'Rebecca' was trying to get the protagonist to commit suicide, but at least there was no more silence. I felt proud of Bella - so proud, in fact, that I rushed to reward her efforts with a ravenous kiss.

This silent training extended well into the next day - the day the full moon was set to rise. When the afternoon came, I asked Nellie to go to the city and buy some gasoline and more lighters. I could have done it myself, but the thought of leaving Bella on her own frightened me. Ever since the night of the accident, we had barely spent more than fifteen minutes apart. The possibility of parting from her for an extended period of time, like I did when I went hunting with Emmett and tragedy struck, brought an insurmountable anxiety upon me.

What if something happened? What if she somehow found herself again into a situation in front of which her vampire instincts could not resist? The possibility was slim, of course, given that there were no humans nearby. But what if some adventurous travelers stumbled upon our beach? I could never take her control for granted again, it was far too dangerous. She wasn't exactly a fan of this new obsession of mine. However, her guilt kept her from protesting as much as she normally would have.

While Nell was away, we went hunting - none of us felt particularly thirsty that day, but it couldn't hurt me to power up for the battle, just like it couldn't hurt Bella to be overly-saturated with blood at any given time. We found some effortless prey: monkeys and pangolins. It was easier this time around to drink their blood without going crazy over the memory of Bella's. That echo of that experience was there to stay, but it no longer controlled me.

After we finished, we somehow found ourselves on the forest floor, making love slowly, without many words - just moving, breathing, watching each other. I waited and waited for her mind to open up again, but it didn't happen. When we got back to the villa, Nell still had not arrived, so we took this as an opportunity and continued our earlier activity in the bathroom, in the grand tub that was placed right by the glass wall.

But there was hesitation tangled in Bella's actions, in the way she didn't say too much. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she, in fact, felt scared of what was coming that night. More specifically, she didn't like my plan and wanted to join in on the fighting part. Our lovemaking turned into fighting faster than a freight train after that.

We dressed up and called Alice, foolishly hoping that she must have had some vision to settle our debate. But thanks to the mutt's power to distort her visions, it was hard for her to tell us what exactly was the best course of action. This of course gave Bella the incentive to believe that she might be right, which only made her more set on her idea.

By the time Nell returned, we were still arguing under our breaths, while facing each other at the dinner table. We stopped when she got closer.

"Are we doing any last-minute changes to the plan?" she asked, placing the gasoline can she had bought and five lighters on the table in front of us.

"Absolutely not."

Bella's only response was a short growl.

"It didn't sound like it."

"Edward doesn't think I can hold my own while fighting with the werewolf," Bella explained.

"Well, can you?"

"Yes! I do know how to fight, he's taught me that in the past month."

"I only taught you how to defend yourself," I corrected her. "And you can be damn sure your first real fight will not involve a werewolf. You don't know what they're capable of."

"You don't know either, you're only going by what Carlisle's told you."

This was a moot point. What Bella failed to understand was that _I_ had experience in fighting, while she did not. It certainly wasn't worth taking unnecessary risks.

"Okay, but the moon is set to rise soon, so we should probably go at least some place else, right?" Nell asked and for a short second I was astounded that she had managed to be the voice of reason.

"You are right."

"We could go further north down the beach," she suggested. "I took a detour upon returning and there are no humans nearby."

"Okay, I will go get some towels to make those cotton balls," I said.

Half an hour later, we were miles away from the villa we had rented. All three of us were sitting in the sand, waiting. Far into the horizon, above the calm sea, the moon was rising, plump and buttery. Any other night, it would have been an exquisite sight. In any other circumstances, I would have asked Bella to join me for a swim. But right that moment, I dreaded with every fibre in my body the ominous globe rising in the distance, wishing it would explode and dissipate into the endless cosmos.

Bella didn't talk much. I could tell that she had remained upset and I planned to make up for it later on. I kept one arm around her - our discussions might have left us in a tough spot, but I couldn't bear to remain separated from her, not even one bit. _For better or for worse_ \- we had promised each other that.

"So let me recap a little", Nell began. "I am the one who has to throw fireballs at the thing, right?"

"Yes, but not as many as the last time," I said. "We don't want it to run away, we want it dead."

"Awesome. And you're sure you can deal with it on your own?"

"Kid, this will not be the first monster I had killed."

"I was just saying, because if you can't..."

"If I can't, we'll scare it away, although I'm hoping it won't come to that."

"And I'll watch," my wife mumbled and a pout darkened her beautiful face.

"Bella, love, I don't want you to hurt yourself in the process, how many times do I have to tell you this?"

"I won't hurt myself if I help Nell with the fireballs."

A great part of me doubted that. As strong as she was, I couldn't trust that strength when it came to the battleground. She was still so _young_. So inexperienced. Too naive for her own safety. And far too courageous for her own good. How could I let her test that strength she was so convinced she had if it meant assuming the slightest risk of losing her?

"She's done this before," I explained.

Nell nodded in agreement and I felt thankful.

"I'm kind of used to doing this shit," she pointed out.

"You've really got a foul mouth, kid."

"Or you're just far behind the times, old man."

I looked at her over Bella's head and I smiled. In return, Nellie did the same.

"You're underestimating me," Bella muttered.

"Maybe, but I'd rather do that than see you hurt in any way, shape or form."

As we talked, I noticed that the moon was well over the water now. The last violet stretches of the sky had darkened and gave way to the nightfall. The only sounds filling up the air were those of the cicadas, the seagulls, the sea and the breeze. Each new passing second hurt. All I wanted was to be done with it. My mind began to replay Carlisle's advice just to pass the time.

Do not make too many noises - those trigger the beast more.

Try to avoid getting caught under the monster's body (like I did last time) - the werewolf can easily kill you in that position.

Attack from behind whenever possible - just like a real wolf, a Child of the Moon cannot turn its neck without turning its whole body.

As I was going through these directives, I heard Bella's phone. It rang only once, a sign that she had received a text. As she was opening it, I was getting ready to look away to give her some privacy - until I saw who the sender was: Alice. My eyes remained glued to the screen despite my will, staring at the concise text:

' _Try that. But don't tell him_ '.

She tucked her phone away in a second, but we both knew it was too late.

"Bella," I kept my voice calm, reasonable. "What does Alice mean by that?"

"I have no idea."

"I have a feeling you do."

She avoided looking at me, I could tell. I yearned to find the unspoken answer that she was hiding, so I didn't hesitate when I grabbed her chin with my fingers and pulled it up, to look into her eyes. The caramel streaks in them seemed more fluid than usual.

"Please," was all I said.

Bella didn't say anything and the need to hear her thoughts burned fiercer than ever. There would be no need for this charade if I could do that. I would simply _know_.

"What do you want to try?" I asked.

"Can you please drop it, Edward?"

I sighed - this was not going well. Maybe I had to be more precise.

"Do you plan on ignoring what we've planned and join in on the fight? Is that it?"

"That's not-"

"Wait a second."

I quieted her with a finger on her lips. The sounds of the beach were still unchanged, with an exception: the whoosh of the wind seemed to have changed direction - as if something moved fast against it.

"It's close," I breathed.

"I can hear it too," Nell whispered and I saw her raise up and grab the sachet of cotton balls.

"Bella, you need to promise me you won't do anything reckless," I pleaded, taking her face in my hands and pressing my lips hard against hers.

"Nothing reckless," she said under my kiss.

"I'll take care of it, I promise. Just be good."

I rose up and motioned Nell to follow me. I didn't want to leave Bella alone, nor to have her too close, so I moved away until there were at least three hundred feet between me and her. I could still see her - still reach her in a second if she needed me - and that made me feel less on edge.

"Try to throw the fireballs at the werewolf, not at me, okay?" I reminded Nell.

"You've got it."

The whoosh grew closer. Along with it came the sound of paws hitting the ground with a feral rhythm. The dread I had been trying to repress for the past month at the thought of seeing the creature again seeped back to the surface, bubbling at the edge of my conscience. I could still remember the feeling of its claws on my back - scraping in vain, making a sound straight out of the deepest pit of Hell. The hot saliva dripping on my face, almost burning me with its temperature. The overabundance of teeth. The speed. The strength. The howls.

All of a sudden, we were no longer alone. It was here.

The werewolf launched from the shadows of the woods, leaving me no time to think, only to be led by my own intuition. Its human eyes sparked in the dark and its mouth opened in anticipation when it attacked. I jumped backwards, to dodge the incoming bite, and I saw Nell with the corner of my eye disappearing and positioning herself behind the werewolf. As my hand grabbed the beast by the throat, she threw the first fireball, hitting its back. The beast let out a hellish sound and bent from the middle when the fire touched its fur.

It yanked itself from my grip, hurling into the sand to put out the fire quicker. Maybe it was a little more intelligent than I was giving it credit for _._ Nell left it no time to recover and launched another ball. Taking advantage of the now-kneeling beast, I motioned her to take a break, even if there was no need to, since she could hear my mental commands. I positioned myself in front of the creature and tried again. With a hand clamped tightly on its throat, I reached with the other to its chest. _This was it_. I felt its heartbeat deep within and rammed my hand right where the rhythmic thud came from.

But my hand didn't go in as easily as the first time I had met this being, when I had managed to thrust my fist through its throat in one fell swoop. In fact, my hand barely made its chest yield. Whatever strange matter the werewolf was made of, it was clear that its most vulnerable area was well protected.

Just as the realization hit me, the monster roared and threw me to the ground. I managed to pick myself up to avoid getting caught just in time. I circled it until I was behind it and, without any hesitation, plunged my hand between its ribs. They cracked under the pressure and caved, allowing me to penetrate the steel-hard layers and reach the ligaments underneath. The blood splodged on my skin, searing and thick. Its scent was unappealing in a way I had not noticed before - it wasn't the sawdust undertone that was particularly disagreeable. There was something primarily repulsive - poisonous almost - within it.

As my hand reached deeper, breaking another rib, Nell resumed throwing more fireballs in the beast's direction. Soon enough, the animal was kneeling again, growling and wailing in pain.

"That's it," I groaned. "We've got it, kid."

She smiled and I felt something mushy on my fingers - lungs? - but the thudding source still seemed unreasonably far away. I searched deeper, accompanied by a tragic symphony of whimpers, knowing that I was close and no longer needed the fire to help me.

I almost didn't realize that Nell had stopped throwing the fireballs and she was now staring at the scene in front of her eyes. It only took three seconds of her not being on guard with her attack for the werewolf to raise up again on two legs. The movement was so fast it yanked me out of its body in a second. I saw the tissues glueing themselves back together before my very eyes just as the beast turned to face me. The noise coming out of its mouth could have awakened the dead, but I had no time to dwell on that, because before I knew it, my back was on the sand.

Somewhere in the back of my brain I registered the sound of Bella calling out my name. Breaking Carlisle's advice of keeping quiet, I cried out in return for her to stay put. Just as expected, the werewolf didn't like the clamour and in an instant I was back to where I had been one month ago, with the werewolf crawling on top of me, its breath reverberating in hot waves over my face. I felt its claws once again, this time tugging at my hair. In an attempt to use whatever opportunity I had left, I kicked the beast with my knees, right in its rock-hard abdomen.

Once. Twice. No result.

And again. Nothing.

I smelled the flames burning on its back without seeing them. I begged Nell mentally to keep going, to give me some kind of momentum to escape, and she did. I fended off more bites, as the beast tried and failed to sink its teeth in my throat. It wasn't the easiest task, especially when I had to make sure the flames did not touch my hands, which were now attached to the beast's scruff.

As the beast began to whimper, overwhelmed by the fire, I tried to stick my hand up its chest once more, but failed. This wasn't going the way I expected and I was going nowhere fast. I had to use the strongest weapon in my arsenal to get to its heart: my teeth. However, I wasn't in a position in which I could do this incident-free - I couldn't bite my way through its chest, while still protecting myself, even with all the fire in the world.

While I was busy averting another bite, the strangest thing happened. At first, I didn't understand the loud and untamed roar of the werewolf, that tore through the calmness of the night like a thousand knives. I hadn't exactly hurt it, yet I saw its eyes rolling in the back of its head and I felt its grip on me loosening. My confusion didn't prevent me from exploiting this momentary weakness by sliding to the side and raising up on my feet. I saw Nell lighting another ball on fire. But more importantly, I saw Bella, now closer than she ought to be. She wasn't doing anything, yet I saw her hands closed into fists. She didn't look at me, her eyes fixated on the whining beast at my feet.

Then, for the shortest moments, I could hear.

" _I need to get a new can of gasoline_. _Should I join in on the act? I might be rusty, but I still remember a thing or two. Would it be stupid? This mutt is so ugly. It kind of looks defeated, I wonder..._ "

I looked at Nellie, fully in awe. She hadn't opened her mouth, but each word had been loud in my mind. Then I looked back at Bella, understanding why her fists were so tightly closed. She was concentrating on projecting her shield - and it _worked_. But in the most twisted turn of events, it seemed to have an effect on the werewolf as well. The creature was wriggling at my feet, as if beaten by an invisible force.

_Pull it together._

I didn't have time to wonder more. I had to act. I launched myself over the beast, teeth first. In the back of my mind, I heard Nellie thinking " _He's got it again, yes!_ ". Just as my teeth pierced through the dense fibres of the werewolf's pectoral, the veil of her thoughts disappeared. All of a sudden, I was back to hearing only the sounds of the fight and of the warm Filipino autumn. Bella's shield had snapped back.

In the blink of an eye, the beast not only disappeared from under me, but threw me on my back. I spat immediately the bitter blood in the sand, expecting to feel the werewolf's weight over me once again, but I didn't. Instead, I saw it running in the opposite direction: not towards Nellie, not towards the woods.

Towards my Bella.

All precautions went out the window. With a powerful growl, I jumped up and bolted in the same direction as the werewolf - but I wasn't fast enough, because it already had Bella tightened in its grip. I could no longer think straight. My mind was one long string of curses and an even longer string of primal instincts when I snatched the beast by its shoulders, trying to push it away from her.

At the same time I did that, Bella decided to put to the test one of the many techniques I had shown her. As fast as lightning, she bent from the waist, throwing her elbows back and forth, forcing the monster to let her go. But while she glided away, she had forgotten the most important lesson: never keep your back turned on your opponent.

While my arms were already around her, ready to get her back to safety, the werewolf also had its claws around her wrist - and that it was all it took. With a nimble movement, Bella's hand was no longer there, a small stump now taking the place of her wrist, right where the werewolf had broken it.

The last remains of my conscience pummeled to the ground. I was no longer able to ponder, to muse, to deliberate. All I wanted was blood and torture and pain. I wanted eyes gouged out of orbits. Ripped tissues, oozing red under my fingers. Teeth pulled out one by one and stuck back to their place upside down. Fur peeled along with the skin underneath, leaving the raw flesh exposed. Guts spread out on the sand. And the beast's heart in my teeth.

But all of these desires had to wait, because my angel was now screaming in my arms. I almost didn't register the fact that I was also screaming with her.

_For God's sake, pull it together!_

The werewolf didn't get a second chance with Bella. I hadn't realized Nell had come besides us, launching a full-force fire attack on the beast.

"I've got it, go," was all she said.

She didn't look at me, focused only on the task at hand. I raised Bella's body in my arms, taking her broken hand from the sand, almost in a haze.

"Edward, it hurts so bad!" she cried.

Her voice was the only thing that made me move - she _needed_ me. I had to take her out of there.

"Go already!" Nell yelled, undisturbed in her mission.

The werewolf was now kneeling again - such an easy prey - and I knew that if she continued what she was doing at the same rate, she would be safe. Or so I hoped.

 _Please be safe, kid._ This was the only rational thought I had managed to have when I began to run, heading back to the villa. The rest was all pain.

* * *

"You're all right, my love. I'm with you. Just stay still, angel. I'm right here with you."

Bella's tearless crying had not stopped for one second in the few minutes it had taken us to arrive at the house. I knew it hurt - a vampire having a broken limb was one of the worst pains imaginable, second to the throes of changing. While I had never had this experience first-hand, I had a few clues about it from Jasper's memories of his time fighting in the Southern vampires wars. And those very memories were the ones that assured me that Bella's hand was salvageable.

I laid my wife on the bed, trying very hard to keep my own emotions under control - she was terrified enough without my help. I kept telling myself she was fine and her pain would soon be over, but I knew that the memories of this night would never fade away completely. This agony was going to remain in her thoughts, just like it happened to Jasper.

"It hurts… make it stop… please..." her pain pierced through me so deeply and I would have given anything to trade places with her.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... it will be better in just a moment."

I knew what I had to do. Vampire venom could heal these wounds in minutes. Making an effort to hide the dread beneath my action, I grabbed her broken limb and sealed my lips to the place where it once was attached to her wrist. The venom in my mouth covered the frozen tissues in a fine particle. Carefully, I placed the hand back to her broken wrist, trying to put it back in the exact same position. I kept my hand around it, making sure that the wound was going to seal properly.

Bella whimpered and writhed in pain, her eyes stuck on the ceiling.

"It's still there, Edward, it's-"

She stopped mid-sentence when another moan left her lips.

"Shhh, my love, I know, in a few minutes you won't even feel it."

I held her wrist in place and kept my other hand on her face, watching her pained expression soften as my venom sewed her tissues back together. It seemed as if forever had passed when her eyes flew from the ceiling to me. The pain from a few minutes ago was no longer desecrating their beauty.

My phone rang once, signaling I had received a text, but I didn't bother to check.

"How is your hand?" I asked.

"Better now. Thank you."

The venom was not rustling anymore, a sign that the healing was now complete. But I didn't want to let go of her wrist - not yet. I wanted to hold it for as long as possible, to make sure that nothing would hurt it again.

"What happened there, Bella?" I murmured.

"I don't know, I guess… a little before the battle, I had this theory."

"A theory?"

"Yes. You've been so adamant about me remaining on the sidelines, that I… I just wanted to try to do something that you couldn't see and find out if I could be of help."

"So you tried projecting your shield - that explains Alice's text."

Her face looked guilty, as if she expected to be admonished. But this was the last thing on my mind - for the moment, all I could feel was the relief of seeing her safe and _whole_ again. Nothing else mattered.

"She must have seen this, yes," Bella replied.

My phone rang again, but I ignored it.

"I know it was a risk, Edward, but you were trapped under that monster and I wanted to help, if I could."

Her voice had apologetic undertones.

"And I love you for being so brave, but you almost gave me a heart attack."

"You're indestructible," she muttered.

"All right, I'll give you this: I don't know how, but what you did worked."

 _Until it didn't_ , I added in my head - but that part wasn't her fault.

"It seemed that the werewolf hated your shield," I continued. "I can't explain why. Maybe there is some frequency within it that hurts it."

"Wait," she said, suddenly rising from the bed. "Nellie's alone with that thing now?"

"She probably chased it away already. I wouldn't worry, she's had enough experience with it."

"We should go find her."

"She will surely come back when she's done."

Bella sighed and I grabbed her other wrist tightly in my hand, to make sure she wasn't planning some surprise escape.

"We've had enough for today," I warned.

"What if the werewolf comes back?"

"If Nell's past trials of driving it away with fire are of any indication, it shouldn't. Besides, we're probably not the only ones being followed by it."

"I don't understand."

"Carlisle told us that these creatures can follow up to five vampires at once, back in Belaya Gora. Remember?"

She frowned, but nodded. I loosened my grip on her a little. My phone rang once again, its screen lighting up with another text.

"Shouldn't you get that?" Bella asked.

"I probably should."

Unwillingly, I let go of her. I could now see a fine line, resembling a crack in a wall, surrounding her right wrist like a bracelet. This mark was there to stay, an unending reminder of this disastrous night. I leaned to kiss it gently, inhaling the emanating fragrance - the warm lavender was there, but it wasn't alone; along with it, I could sense the scent of my own venom mixing up in her tissues.

I reached for the phone on the nightstand. I wasn't surprised when I saw three text messages from Alice. I opened the first one:

' _I am sorry. Last minute vision. I don't know where it came from._ '

And then, the next one:

' _You might hate me, but all of a sudden it was the only scenario beyond which I could see your future. I hate what this mongrel does to my visions._ '

And the last one:

' _It was this or you dying and I know which I prefer._ '

I sighed, irked by the whole thing. The thought of Alice knowing that Bella would get hurt and still encouraging her drove me mad - yet I could understand why she did it if the predicted alternative had been so grim.

My previous solace at seeing Bella in one piece again began to wither, as I started to realize the werewolf was still not dead, as it should have been, if my plan had worked. My thirst for murdering the beast had been quieted by Bella's need for me, but now that she was fine and by my side, I felt it coming back. I didn't want the monster dead. I wanted it to suffer through every minute of it and to have its blood on my hands. And I couldn't afford another near-miss again.

I heard Nell's footsteps outside on the sand, getting closer to the house. She was fine, but it somehow wasn't enough. Nothing was enough now and I felt a most powerful greed flowing through me: the greed to avenge.

In the farthest corner of my mind, I told myself that this had to be the worst possible eve of Bella's birthday ever - and I had been convinced that such a thing was impossible after her last birthday.

* * *

**If you have any thoughts - small or big, positive or critical - on the events of this chapter or on the story in general, I am always happy to read and respond to them :).**

**In case you want something light and fun to read after this dark chapter, you can check my first outtake for this story: "A deal with the angel". It takes place back when Bella was still human and it deals with how exactly she convinced Edward to "practice" for their first night together ;).**

**Until next time, stay safe and happy!**


	18. Contrasting

Up until now, I had only had the honour of celebrating one of Bella's birthdays: her 18th anniversary. That had been the last human anniversary in her existence - although I did not know it at the time.

We were in very different places in terms of long-term expectations back then. We loved each other to no end, that had always been a constant - but _because_ I loved her, I wanted to leave. And I had been looking for a reason to do so ever since the damned day when I had seen her tortured by James, frame after agonizing frame. I wanted everything with her, but I couldn't imagine the luxury of that.

The summer following the James incident and me killing Victoria, we had spent almost every waking moment together - and each second had been torture. For when she kissed me, I wondered if I could save the feeling of her soft lips on mine and the sound of her beating heart in a chamber of my mind and keep the memories alive for however long I was going to be alive. And when she told me a story she had forgotten to tell me, I wanted to ask for every little detail without sounding like the maniac that I was, hoping that these details will keep me warm long after my impending leaving. And when she told me 'I'll see you later' with an eager smile on her lips, I never failed to ask myself: 'Will you, my love?'.

I had always wondered when was the first time she had sensed that something wasn't right about my behaviour. I had tried to keep everything light, to ease any possible worries by teasing her as usual, by taking her out on all sorts of dates, by coming to her room every single night, by spending endless hours in our meadow with her. But somehow she had seen through my pretenses, as she always did. And I never had the chance to find a good enough reason to leave and let her live her human years in peace, because on the eve of her 18th birthday, as I was telling her about the party Alice had planned for her, she cut me off abruptly:

"I am not doing parties, Edward, I'm sorry."

"But she's got everything planned out already."

"And I love her for this and will find a way to repay her efforts, but I want us to be alone tomorrow, if that is possible."

"Come on, be reasonable for a minute," I pleaded.

"Is your birthday tomorrow?"

"No, it's not."

"Then why can't we do things my way?"

I could not argue with that logic. A compromise could not hurt her more than the rest of my intentions.

The following discussion with Alice had not been the most pleasant, but she didn't make as much of a fuss as I had expected. I wondered why, but she kept her mind busy by translating the amendments of the Constitution from English to Latin - one of her favourite tricks for when she wanted me completely out of her head. Most discussions with Alice had been unpleasant after Bella had got out of the hospital. My sister resented me for wanting to leave. She resented me even more for drawing things out like I did. After several attempts of her trying to convince me that her vision of a red-eyed Bella had to happen, I had given up reasoning with her altogether.

Nevertheless, Bella's wish had been granted - we were going to spend her birthday alone. But before we got to that, we had one more evening together. That evening, when I climbed into her room, I found her dressed up in her waterproof ski pants (the ones that she had despite not having any idea how to ski) and her puffy winter jacket. Puzzled by this sight, I asked:

"Is this your new sleepwear, beautiful?"

"I am not going to sleep tonight."

"And what is it that you want us to be doing then?"

"Remember when you promised me you would take me to see the Northern lights?"

And the Grand Canyon. And the coral reefs in Australia. And the salt flats in Bolivia. And all the places I knew I couldn't take her anymore, knowing full well that I had to leave and break her heart if I ever wanted to save her heart.

"Of course," I responded.

"Well, yeah, that."

"I thought you might want to get some sleep for your birthday tomorrow."

"I will call in sick for school. Problem solved."

She threw me a defying look and I had no choice but to surrender in front of her wishes. I could offer her that much, since her birthday was coming and I was convinced this could very well be my last chance of giving her one of the many experiences she deserved; experiences I thought that, at some point, another man - a man more deserving of her love - would offer her.

That summer, she had grown accustomed to being carried on my back as I ran, and that was exactly what was going to happen that night. I had run with her all the way to Alaska. It had taken us a few hours to get there. I had wrapped her in a thick blanket from head to toe and carried her in my arms, to make sure that the ever-increasing cold didn't bother her as we got closer.

It was there, in the Denali wilderness, under the turquoise veil of the Northern lights, that Bella upturned my every plan of leaving when she threw the blanket in the snow and asked me:

"You're not here for the long run, Edward, are you?"

Her question had me frozen - even more than I already was. I had not said a word to her up until that point - and I knew, for a fact, that Alice hadn't either.

"Bella, the cold is getting to your head," I offered jokingly - _always joke_ , that was my mantra when things were getting a darker tone with her. Most of the time, it worked, or so I hoped.

"I am perfectly fine, I promise you that."

"I don't understand why you would say such a thing."

_Imposter. Liar. Fraud. Devil._

I admonished myself for making her feel like she was imagining things. She was too pure, too good to deserve my tricks. There had to be a special fire in hell for monsters like me.

"I'm not stupid, Edward. You think I never notice how you change the subject each time I dare mention the possibility of you changing me? Or how you laugh it off when I talk about us five years from now?"

_You're not stupid, my love. You're far too intelligent and far too observant for a human._

"Bella..."

"And how you look at me after you kiss me? As if it's the last time we might be doing that? What about that?"

"Okay, listen to me for a second-"

"No! Because I don't know what happens if I do! So you listen to me: if you've got anything you want to say, I'm tired of wondering what it is and when you'll do it. I'm tired of making up scenarios and wondering which one of them is right. But mostly I'm tired of walking on eggshells with you."

"Love..."

I wanted to say more, but couldn't. She had me in a trap: she knew I would never leave her alone on that mountain and the only way out was to respond. If this exact conversation would have happened in Forks, it would have been so easy to avoid it. To avoid _her_. It was a well-deserved trap, although not even remotely worse than the one I had her in.

I loved her. Too much for her own good. Too much for my sanity. Too much for a creature that shouldn't have been able to understand the sentiment. I loved her and that was my ultimate undoing.

"Okay, I need one thing for my birthday tomorrow," she whispered. "Please."

Another crack tore through my heart - as it had happened on a daily basis since the accident - when I took her face in my hands. I had no right to hold her like that when I knew I was only prolonging the inevitable.

"Anything," I said, too naive to realize the weight of that word - the word that ultimately saved me from myself.

"The truth."

Her eyes burned through mine and there was no escape. I could never forget the fierce determination in them.

"I love you," was all that I managed in the end. She wanted the truth, I could give her the only truth that mattered. At least that wasn't a shameful lie, like so many things I had told her that summer.

"So I need to be more precise," she groaned. "The _whole_ truth. Please."

Her face was getting rosy from the cold and I felt the unbearable need to taste the colour of her cheeks on my tongue. With her face still cupped in my hands, I leaned down to meet the only Heaven I knew, pressing my lips on hers. She felt soft and warm, despite the temperature. Blood rushed in abundance to the spot right under my mouth, allowing me to taste the phantom of her scent through her skin. My mouth opened and hers did too, and we found each other in a way that we couldn't have done through words. Her hands, covered in mittens as they were, started to tug and pull my hair. I pulled her closer to me, feeling the fine outline of her curves through the heavy layers of clothing she was wearing.

Desire and pain weaved together until I could no longer understand which was which. When I grabbed her jacket in my fist, I didn't know if it was because I wanted to rip it and feel her body better or because I wanted to capture the texture in my mind for when I was no longer going to be by her side. When my tongue found hers and invited it to a ravenous dance, I didn't know if it was because I wanted to bury my way through her body as deep as I could or because I never wanted to forget the taste.

Bella gasped for air and that was the moment my thoughts left my brain, ripping the silence between us.

"I want to leave you," I murmured over her lips.

_There you go: the whole truth, love._

It felt surreal to know that I had said the abhorrent plan out loud. Hiding it for months had taken me nowhere, because there was no taking back what I said now. No excuses. No misinterpretations. She had heard me.

When Bella pulled back to glance up at me, her skin was flushed and her heart was beating louder than ever. Her breathing was still heavy from our kiss. I didn't dare look her in the eyes. I could already smell the tinge of salt in the air, announcing her teardrops, so I looked away, like the coward that I was.

"I don't believe you."

Her voice was small, but brave. Of course she didn't believe me. _I_ didn't believe me. I knew that living apart from her would wreck me to the point of helpless insanity, just as I knew I would only remain alive for as long as she was. What I didn't know was how to respond to _this_. It was too soon - as many months as I had had to prepare for this, this was not going according to the script in my mind. She was supposed to believe me.

"You wanted the truth, love."

"Don't call me that."

I knew the tears were now rolling down her cheeks freely, her voice betraying her. I still couldn't find the strength to look in her eyes.

"But you are my love," I protested softly, keeping the 'forever' in my mind to myself.

"I'm obviously your nothing if you are breaking up with me."

"I'm not breaking up with you," I rushed to say.

And being the charlatan that I was, I finally looked into her eyes, to check if she had believed the lie. The melted chocolate of her pupils was now blurry, covered in the thick layer of tears beyond which I doubted she could see properly. I was convinced this had to be the worst possible way for her to spend her last night being 17: freezing, crying, broken-hearted, with a vampire by her side, unable to enjoy the way the solar winds painted the sky.

"No, I think you are, Edward. And this is why we need to talk."

She blinked, letting the tears roll off from her eyes, revealing her wet irises. She had never looked sadder. And at the very same time, she had never looked bolder. I saw her sitting down on the blanket she had thrown on the snow and I followed suit, keeping a safe distance between us.

That night had been possibly the longest night in my existence. She had wanted the worst gift of all, the gift of truth, and I had delivered it with a bow on top. The real gift - the CD with all of her favourite songs played by me on the piano - had never made it to her. As I told her about all the times I thought I was strong enough to leave, I saw her tears, flowing endlessly on her face. Admitting the very things I had tried to keep from her for months hadn't been easy - my mission made even more painful by seeing the effects of my intentions in front of my very eyes. But with no getaways in sight, I had done it. And by the end of it all, I understood that my persistence would be the end of me and the end of Bella if I kept at it.

That had been the first night my plan had begun to shake. With my intentions out on the table, I could no longer hide, even if I wanted to. It had taken weeks full of sleepless nights on her part and discussions in the cafeteria to get to a resolution. It had taken countless fearful kisses and shy touches to accept that we could still be us someday, despite the odds. And It had taken me a whole lot less to realize that I could never leave her, as I had intended.

Two months after that fateful night in Alaska, I had asked Bella to marry me - and I had never been more happy in my life to hear the word 'yes'.

* * *

"Can I finally say it?"

Bella made no effort to disguise her horror upon hearing my words. She had been basking under the sun, on the porch, all morning, taking turns in talking with her parents and her friends, who all had made sure to wish her a happy birthday. She had made an effort to sound as normal as possible, despite the events that had transpired less than a day ago - and mostly everyone believed her, except Charlie.

It was always tough to deal with him. While he did not ask for as many details about Cardiff as Renée did - forcing Bella to get creative and forcing me to keep track of that creativity - he could sense any possible cracks in his daughter's tone easier. Their phone calls had begun to sound more like subtle police interrogatories than anything else.

Bella's last birthday had not been the best - she had spent most of the day sleeping, too tired after our nightly getaway and all the crying she had done. I didn't want this one to be so bad, but acting as if we hadn't almost died the night prior was not a viable option either.

We had already broken the news of our failed battle to our family. The reactions had been mixed, but they all shared the same sentiment. Emmett and Jasper had both been furious and annoyed by the fact that they hadn't been able to partake in the battle. Alice had apologized a hundred times for the incident - Bella hadn't even been mad about it, knowing the other outcome Alice had seen in her last-minute vision. Rosalie had expressed her distress passingly, without too many words, while Esme almost had a panic attack - if such a thing was even possible for creatures like us. Carlisle had been just as concerned and I could guess in the long silences during our conversation that he was trying to come up with a plan. If he did find a plan, he had not told me.

"I've heard it for way too many times now," Bella answered, stepping back into the house.

She wasn't wearing much - just boxer briefs and another camisole. From where I was standing on the sofa, I could perfectly trace with my graze her most intimate area beyond the thin fabric of her underwear, which was enough to rouse my longing.

"It's bad enough already that I don't have a proper gift for you," I groaned.

"That's just my luck."

She grinned, but didn't seem amused.

"I'm just not in the mood for celebrating, Edward."

"You weren't last year either."

"And who knows what might have happened if I were?" she provoked me.

I didn't want to consider the possibility. If she hadn't confronted me thousands of miles away from home, on a frozen mountain, I might have gone through with my plan in the end. And knowing what I knew from the conversations we've had after her 18th birthday, my actions would have murdered her happiness just as much as it would have murdered mine. We probably wouldn't have been here at all.

The dreadful scenario dissipated when Bella positioned herself on my lap. I saw her wrist, pale and delicate, marked by a fine line right where it had been broken. Gently, I pulled it up towards my face and kissed it.

"Tell me what you want to do today," I muttered. "Any wish of yours is my command."

We both knew there were not many options, but this day didn't have to be a disaster _again_. I knew we could get creative.

"Well, I have this idea..." she started. "I haven't heard you playing the piano in forever."

She was right. The last time I had done it was in Alaska, the day we left with no warnings. I had promised myself I would do it again here, in Mati, as soon as I had seen the grand piano in the living, but with the loaded schedule of the past few days, I had completely forgotten.

"You want me to play it for you?" I smiled.

"If you're in the mood."

"Bella, for you, I am in the mood for a whole recital."

She smiled in return and rose up from my lap, sprinting towards the piano.

"Do you have any special requests?" I asked, as I followed her and began the process of tuning the piano.

"Yes! Play our songs - all of them!"

She was uncharacteristically giddy as she waited for me to finish. I had composed many songs for her and for us in the past year and a half, endlessly inspired by her. She had heard them all countless times and I had always liked to joke that she would eventually get bored of the same tunes. But she never did.

I sat down on the wooden bench in front of the piano and invited Bella to join me. She seemed a little unsure as to where to sit, so I made her task easier and grabbed her in my arms, positioning her on the bench, right between my legs.

"There you go," I murmured in her hair.

I straddled her hips and felt her back molding to my torso. My hands reached for the keys and I caressed the fine ivory with my fingertips for a second, before beginning. The music started flowing around us, enveloping us in a cape, and for a while, I had managed to forget about everything else and only be aware of the only things that mattered: my wife listening patiently in my arms, with her hands pressed on my thighs, and the sounds reverberating in the air flawlessly.

It was dangerous to get too lost in my own hope for normalcy, but being with Bella like this almost felt like we were back in Forks, simply enjoying a late morning without our family around. There had been so many peaceful mornings in the months prior to her change - mornings when I would cook something for Bella, we would take a shower together after her breakfast and I would play all of her favourite songs on the piano after.

"Is this the one you wrote after we came back from Isle Esme?" Bella asked.

"It is exactly that one - the one you wouldn't let me finish," I teased her.

She laughed. After we came home from our honeymoon, we had had a particularly difficult time trying to keep our hands off of each other - not that we were any better now. The beginning of our married life had inspired me greatly, so one afternoon I started composing a song. The only problem was that Bella had other plans with me, which involved my fingers in entirely different places - places that were not the keys of my piano.

"It is beautiful," she said.

"You've inspired it, it has to be."

I dragged the song a little longer, before letting it fade into another one. As the melodies rolled in, the sun rose higher on the sky, the light penetrating through the large windows and reflecting from our skin in a kaleidoscope of sparkling colours. Bella remained rested against me, her hands moving from my thighs to my bare forearms and tracing lines there. Her touch sent galvanic vibrations to the rest of my body, making me achingly aware of our closeness. My hands itched to rip the few clothes she had on.

As I began her lullaby, Bella resumed touching the inside of my thighs, not helping with my concentration one bit. My erection grew harder in my trousers, pressing tightly against her back. But I wanted to be a gentleman and finish the song for her. She didn't seem to care about that when she pushed her bottom intently against me, provoking me as she always did.

"Mmmmm, Bella, love, you're already getting bored?"

"Not at all. I don't want you to stop."

"Then keep that perfect ass seated, so I can concentrate."

She laughed and reached to kiss my arm. She then remained unmoved, but I was past the point of no return. My member kept poking her in the back and I wished there was a way I could control it. But she didn't seem to mind that at all, because soon enough she was back to grinding herself against me.

"You really don't want me to finish, do you?" I smiled, gathering enough willpower to not stop playing.

"Oh, I want nothing more than for you to finish."

The double meaning of her words hit me to my core, arousing and powerful. With my fingers still on the keys, I leaned down and made my way to her throat with my lips, imagining all the ways in which I wanted to finish: inside her, on her face, in her mouth, on her hair...

This wasn't helping my focus at all. Nor was Bella's hand reaching for the band of my trousers.

"Don't stop," she whispered, as she slid her hand under the fabric and grabbed the base of my shaft tightly.

She didn't do anything else, just kept me there, in her hold. The song was coming to me automatically, almost as if I was on autopilot, because my mind was most definitely not concentrating on that anymore.

"Bella…"

My control was slipping away faster than my fingers on the keys.

"I want _this_ ," she said, gripping my penis tighter and slowly making her way up my length.

I let out a long sigh and stopped right when the melody was hitting its climax. With whirlwind speed, that would have made my movements a blur for human eyes, I made Bella stand up, ripped her boxers, closed the lid of the piano and bent her over it, her thighs making haywire sounds as they pressed on the keys.

Her ass was now at the level of my face. bent over the piano, I could see everything perfectly. The appetizing flesh of her buttocks, demanding to be spanked. The rose bud of her clitoris, demanding to be rubbed. The glistening entrance into her body, demanding to be invaded. All my senses detonated at the hedonistic sight and I reached out to devour her. My tongue dragged its way through Bella's small wet folds, until it reached her clitoris. Once there, it began to move rapidly, feeling the small bundle of nerves getting engorged.

Bella cried out loudly and in her excitement, ripped a small piece of the piano's lid. I didn't stop, but made sure to offer her buttocks a good smacking.

"Sorry..." she managed, but she didn't sound apologetic at all.

In response, I smacked her again and felt her getting wetter on my tongue as I did that. So she liked _this_ \- it was always a blessing to discover something new about her. Getting faster and firmer with my tongue on her clitoris, I hit her ass once more. At the exact moment my palm met her flesh, her knees bent forward and she exploded in my mouth. Her taste overwhelmed my taste buds, unreasonably delicious: sweet and salty and primal, the very essence of sex.

Full of rapacity, I inserted two fingers in her, riding the aftershock of her orgasm. Her muscles contracted around me and my patience flew out the window. Without another thought, I slid the rest of my fingers in, going as deep as I could with my hand.

"Goddamn, you're so tight, love," I moaned. "Do you realize how tight you are?"

She reached back with one hand, until she found my hair and pulled.

"Fuck me, Edward," she pleaded.

There she went again, using that word. I wasn't as shocked as the first time she did that, but the same pleasure rushed through every inch of my body upon hearing her. It didn't feel wrong or vulgar or crude. Coming from her lips, the word sounded like the most exquisite invitation, poetical and tempting to the extreme.

"I am," my hand started pushing harder inside her, to emphasize my words. "You want more?"

"Yes, yes… I want to feel how big you are..."

Her wish was my command - that day more than usual, even if she wanted me to pretend that it wasn't her birthday. I retracted my hand from her body and I couldn't resist the sight of my fingers dripping with the sap of her arousal, so I began licking them clean, as I lifted Bella on top of the piano with my free hand. Her camisole was still there, so I made sure to get rid of it while I propped myself in front of her. She lifted her legs in the air, resting her calves on my shoulders.

When I liberated myself from my trousers, her eyes sparked. I would have given a limb to hear her thoughts now. Whatever it was that had made her shield drop two days ago, it had not come back. And I needed it to come back.

Slowly, to allow her to feel every inch of me, I plunged inside her. Her body reacted in all the ways I knew and loved, welcoming me with erratic squeezes and getting more slippery as I got deeper and deeper.

"You feel so good," she whispered.

Our eyes met and I felt obliterated from all the love and lust hidden in the small honey streaks of her scarlet irises. Her hair was spread out over the piano carcass, contrasting in spectral ways with the diamonds adorning her sun-touched skin. I couldn't believe that just a year ago - so little time in the ocean of eternity - I was set on leaving this woman. The only woman that had ever touched my heart. The only woman that had ever meant something to me. The only woman that could both save me and ruin me.

What a terrible mistake that would have been. While I could still remember my reasoning for wanting to leave her, I couldn't, for the life of me, understand how I could ever believe that I would have been able to live without her, unable to hear her voice, to kiss her, to love her everyday. While there might have been life after her, I knew it would never be worth living. There was so much happiness here, just being inside her, in my perfect warm home.

Her hand stroked my lips, and my mouth opened to take one of her fingers in, to suck on it for a few seconds. Then I saw it again: the delicate bracelet-like mark on her wrist. My movements grew rougher, more desperate, at the reminder that the monster had marked her body. I hated the fact that she would forever have a visual reminder of the pain - and that I would always be reminded of not being fast enough to save her in time.

I was grunting like an animal as I plunged in and out her body, my heart suddenly wretched from the memory. She was taking me in with helpless moans, her nails now deep in my shoulders, digging. I watched the tantalizing joggle of her breasts caused by movements and I didn't need more to erupt. As my venom shot out inside her, my hand reached between her legs, finding her warm slit and starting to stroke her clitoris immediately.

"Come with me," I begged. "Come, my Bella, I want to feel you."

Not even a second after I finished, her orgasm hit as well. Her entire body trembled under mine and I rubbed more intently against her most sensitive spot, squeezing out a second climax from her. She threw back her head, revealing her inviting neck, and called out my name. She was still gasping when the last waves of pleasure had left her body. I was ready to take her in my arms, bite her beautiful neck and move our lovemaking outside, on the deserted beach, but something stopped me right as I was raising her body from the piano.

" _How is it even possible to get more intense each time? It's like sorcery._ "

Her voice, loud and clear. But her lips had remained unmoved this whole time. It couldn't possibly be. Yet it was.

"It's happening again," I whispered, unable to keep myself from voicing my revelation out loud.

And there was a God out there, because her thoughts kept on pouring this time around:

" _It would most certainly happen again if he didn't stop moving. I want back on the piano. We barely got to do it on his piano in Forks, in fear of breaking it. I like the piano._ "

In her frenzy she had not understood my initial words. A small frown darkened her gaze.

"Why are you staring?"

" _Had I done something wrong? We didn't break anything. Or so I think. The piano looks fine._ "

I held back the laughter that threatened to explode from my chest when I spoke again:

"I can hear you again, Bella."

" _My thoughts? What am I doing? You're hearing me now?_ "

Her bewildered eyes couldn't grasp what was happening fully, and neither could I.

"Yes… my love, you sound so beautiful!"

I was wasting precious time on talking instead of just _listening_. I focused on that. But just as I was doing it, her mind closed back. There had been no warning, just a sudden silence, as if someone had turned off the radio.

"Still?" she whispered.

"No, it's gone."

I had not realized we were both holding our breaths until I heard her inhale. I did the same, letting her scent wash over my senses, trying to process what had just gone down.

"I'm sorry it didn't last longer," she murmured and took my face in her hands.

"Oh, don't say that, please, I am happy with whatever I can get."

I pressed my lips to hers, completely spellbound, before pulling away and getting lost in her eyes once more. Hearing her thoughts again had been way more than I had hoped for. I had been so convinced it would take us weeks, if not more, to even understand how it happened the first time around. I was prepared to wait and not press her for more, too afraid that the pressure would ultimately make her keep her guard up even stronger, albeit unwillingly.

Yet there we were, staring at each other in awe. The longing to feel close to Bella in all the ways in which this was possible was the only reality I knew. And that longing came in all shapes and forms... such as holding her hand whenever we were out in public. Silently tucking her hair beneath her ear when it covered her beautiful face. Hearing her stories and telling her mine. Kissing her ever soft lips. Touching every single inch of her skin. Holding her in my arms when she was upset. Making love to her slowly. Bargaining with her to let me taste her blood. Marking her body with my bites. Healing those bites with my venom. Having that venom flow freely in her frozen veins, as a testament of her being mine and only mine forever. Tasting her orgasms on my tongue. Entering her body in all the ways we craved. Fucking her to oblivion. Loving her and loving her and loving her.

And now, hearing her beyond what she could say out loud.

"I love to see you smile like this," she said.

"Well, you've just given me the best gift of all, which is ironic, considering it is your-"

"Shhh, you promised me!"

"Of course, my bad."

She offered me a thankful smile in return and I had no choice but to kiss her again, too in love to be able to do much else.

This birthday of hers was not what I would have dreamed of months ago - and for very different reasons, not what I would have imagined one year ago either. It very much felt like we were playing with fate, as we allowed ourselves to be a little normal, even if just for a day. For I knew that normalcy had been a really changing concept for us ever since that black night in Forks, when nothing - not even Alice's visions - could have prevented the hazard to come.

* * *

**Can I just say how much I loved writing this particular chapter? After reading "Midnight Sun" and realizing that Edward had been set on leaving Bella right after the James incident, I started feeling as if there was a loophole in my own story. Because one of the first premises of it was that Edward simply never left, like he did in "New Moon". But after finding out just how decided on breaking up with Bella he actually was, I wanted to explore that a bit and understand what made him change his notoriously stubborn mind.**

**Okay, rant over.**

**If you have any thoughts on this chapter, it would me my greatest joy to read and respond to them :).**

**Thank you all for still hanging on for this ride, you're the best!**

**Stay safe and happy, guys!**


	19. Tarnishing

We had to leave Mati. Not even three days after Bella's birthday, Alice had a vision. The Volturi had made their decision and it was nothing any of us had expected: they wanted me and Alice in their guard. As they were carefully monitoring the news about the Wilsons, to see if they had any reason to get back to searching for us and end us all, Aro had also pondered over something completely different. He had kept the thought so far back in his head, almost like a phantom of a plan, that it escaped Alice's radar.

We only knew what Alice had seen, but I could guess that getting an idea of what both of us could do in the minds of the Denali sisters got Aro thinking. The Volturi were known for collecting gifted vampires, that was no surprise. Once they found a talent they considered great enough to be of help to them, they did what they could to lure that talent into their coven. Sometimes they insisted, sometimes they were patient - with Aro's unpredictable nature, it was always a game of luck.

This time, however, Aro was set on his decision. He wanted us. And he wanted to be sure he would have us, so he had laid out an entire elaborate plan that would secure his chances. He expected us to refuse his proposition, so he thought that maybe guilt would be enough of a motivator for us. However, we still had no reasons to be guilty in their eyes, given the way the news about the Wilsons grew scarcer each passing day, leaving our family a clean slate to work on.

So Aro decided to tarnish that clean slate.

He wanted to make it seem as if Bella's actions had truly jeopardized the secrecy of our species. To do that, he needed Elijah Cochran to come out of the woodwork and talk again about the two women he had seen the night of the accident. But Aro didn't want to wait and leave the efficiency of his plan in the hands of fate, so he had decided to plant some false evidence. He intended to send Chelsea and Heidi to Forks and to have them "accidentally" drain Cochran's wife minutes before he would arrive home from work. They would remain there, standing on top of her body just enough for him to recognize that he was witnessing the same type of supernatural murder that he had witnessed the night of the accident. They would leave and get rid of the body seconds after he would see them.

Ridden with the despair of seeing his wife murdered, Cochran would have no choice but to talk again - this time more convincingly, given the personal stakes. Aro was assured that whatever Cochran was going to say, it would be enough to put the spotlight back on our family. In the human world, his stories would fade into the territory of conspiracy theories over time. But until that happened, the Volturi were going to have every right to come after us. And that was the catch: Aro would show us the mercy of sparing our lives by asking me and Alice to join their coven. He suspected that we would not be able to refuse his wish if it came to choosing between the death of our loved ones and indulging him.

And the worst part of it all was that he was right.

I would not think twice about it if joining the Volturi meant saving the life of my wife and the lives of my loved ones. It would break me to my very core, but I could live with it if I knew my Bella would be alive and in one piece. I would forever cling to the hope of finding a way out and getting back to her, to the only happiness my frozen heart could ever comprehend. I knew that she would wait for me, even if it killed her sanity. Knowing her, she would try everything in her power to get the attention of the Volturi, just so that we could see each other again. But all this chaos would have been preferable to losing her forever, with no hope in sight of getting her back. And I had no doubt that Alice would feel the same way for Jasper.

Aro had never met me or Alice in person, but he knew our father well. He knew his values and he was convinced that the kids of his old companion would have the very same values instilled in them. He had us in a trap.

"Edward, that can't happen," Bella said as soon as we finished talking to Alice. "They can't do this."

"I will protect you," I responded.

This was the only promise I could make. I _was_ going to protect her, no matter the final cost.

"But this whole thing cannot happen if they don't kill Cochran's wife, we have to stop them!"

"Carlisle will try to do that, love. He is the only one that they would listen to."

In fact, he and Esme were already planning to meet Heidi and Chelsea in Washington, where their plane would land, in order to talk, given the fact that Forks was off-limits for us now, having broken the treaty.

"But Heidi and Chelsea are also heading there, right?"

I swallowed the knot in my chest.

"They are."

"What if Carlisle and Esme don't get there in time?"

"They're taking a direct flight to Florida and they will run from there. Heidi and Chelsea will do their traveling via planes and borrowed cars."

As I was trying to convince her that my father and mother would get there in time, I wasn't so convinced myself. The odds of them arriving before the pawns of the Volturi would set the plan into motion were not in our favour.

"God, Edward, and the werewolf?" her voice raised a few octaves. "How do we deal with everything at once? Tell me!"

"The werewolf should not bother us until the next full moon, you know this. And it really is the least of our problems right now."

There was an actual chance that we would no longer have to fear the werewolf a month from now for reasons that I didn't want to consider. The anxiety of that thought made me grab her and crush my lips to hers with ardour.

"We need to pack our bags, just in case," I uttered over our kiss.

She got closer to me, her mouth opening to deepen our connection, her fingers locking in my hair and pulling me down to her level. The urgency of her actions burned within me, trying to get hand in hand with my own urgency. But for that moment, I knew better than to cave to my desire.

In less than fifteen hours, we were going to know exactly in what direction our future was going to go.

"Wait," she murmured, when I detached from our kiss. "What happens with Nellie?"

I sighed. This was not the first time I had thought about it since Alice had broken the news to us. And the truth was that I had no idea. Our little team of three had been the only reason we were still alive after facing the werewolf two times.

"I don't know, Bella. It may be safer for her to remain here, if we are going to be on the run every two days."

"But that means she will face the next full moon on her own."

"She's done this before."

"But she won't be able to kill that thing if it finds her alone," Bella insisted. "Besides, we know that something in my shield hurt the werewolf, I want to train more."

I really couldn't find it in me to think about the werewolf, knowing that we might be facing bigger problems than that in the extremely near future.

"Can we please get back to the problem at hand?"

"Which one? Because we've got several, in case you haven't noticed."

She looked and sounded irritated, so I chose my next words with care.

"We don't know what's going to happen until the next full moon. I think it would be best if we handle these issues one at a time. And maybe it would make sense to at least ask Nell if she is even willing to embark on this, with this amount of uncertainty."

"Then let me talk to her. If we'll still be in one piece a month from now, we'll need all the backup that we can get. And so will she."

"I'll come with you."

Bella rolled her eyes, but she seemed past the point of protesting. She had grown accustomed to my anxiety of parting from her for even the shortest amount of time since the accident happened. A part of me understood that this was objectively unhealthy. Yet in our current circumstances, I couldn't see things happening any other way.

"Okay, let's find her," she agreed.

* * *

To Bella's relief and to my slight irritation, Nell had agreed to leave Mati with us and remain close by until the next full moon. I could not see the utility of that, knowing that very soon we were going to be right on the Volturi's radar. Potentially bringing another person down didn't make sense to me. Bella kept reminding me of the next encounter with the werewolf and called me 'selfish' for my logic, of all things.

After this discussion, the kid decided to head to the city while we waited for Carlisle's phone call, to 'get a taste of the local cuisine'. It still baffled me that she couldn't just stick to one diet, but I was past the point of caring or trying to argue about these things.

Meanwhile, Carlisle and Esme had tried their best. But the best that a vampire could do with the trademark strength and abilities of our kind crumbled into nothing when human hazard came into play. It so happened that in the plane flying my parents from Liberia to Florida, a man had had a heart attack. He was lucky enough to have the gifted doctor that Carlisle was on board. This luck had saved him. But Carlisle and Esme had not been as lucky, because the pilots had to do an emergency landing regardless, to get the man to the nearest hospital for further care.

This stroke of fate sent them straight to The Bahamas. It was seven P.M. there, which meant that they got to get out of the airport without much of a fuss in regards to covering themselves up from the sun. They forged ahead to the ocean and swam straight to Biscayne Bay. Once back on land, in Miami, they easily made their way through the Mangrove Preserve - but after that, their mission of running to Washington had gone increasingly difficult. It wasn't just the fact that they were running late after the emergency landing, but they also had to choose the most winding path, in order to avoid humans.

In the end, it didn't take anything other than bad luck for Carlisle and Esme to miss Heidi and Chelsea. Alone and defeated in the Ronald Reagan Airport, my parents called to let us know what had just happened.

"So it's settled then," I said in an even tone, although deep inside I felt my every hope breaking.

"They will go through with their plan, son, yes."

"What does that mean for us?"

"You and Alice are going to become their main targets. They'll track both of you with Demetri's help."

"And the rest?"

"Not even a priority until they find you two, according to your sister."

Silence fell as I was trying to analyze the best course of action. Other than running around on an almost daily basis, there didn't seem to be any.

"So it's a matter of who they find first, right?" I managed to say.

His quietness did the responding for him. I was getting ready to voice another question when Bella asked me to put the phone on speaker. I didn't think much of it and did as she told me. She saluted him, always so polite, but then surprised me completely with the straightforwardness that followed:

"Carlisle, what if Alice comes with us?"

"Well, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea, Bella."

"I know it sounds crazy, but if you listen to me for a second, it will make sense, I promise. So you know I've been practicing to extend this shield of mine - or whatever it's called. It's getting better and better, I swear."

In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but notice the fact that she didn't mention the other trick in her sleeve - me hearing her thoughts at the most random of times. Of course, that would have been one hell of a conversation starter: 'So, Carlisle, your son was fucking me mercilessly, when he suddenly heard my thoughts. Isn't it crazy?'

I cringed hard at the thought. This had to remain our little secret for a little longer. Lord knew how I had managed to keep it away from Nellie until now.

"Both Nellie's and Demetri's powers are psychic at their base," Bella continued. "He only needs to meet someone who has encountered one of them, in order to get to them via his mental tracking. If I can block out Nellie's power with my shield, it only makes sense that I could do the same with Demetri, right? Maybe I can train even more and extend it to cover all of us, to make Demetri's job of finding us harder. You already said that it is Edward and Alice the Volturi are after right this moment, so wouldn't it be logical to get her and Jasper with us, to protect them with my shield as well?"

Carlisle's lack of an immediate response alerted me. He was considering this. Truth be told, it didn't sound completely crazy. I had to remind myself to give Bella more credit for her ideas than I usually did. Sure, sometimes they sounded almost suicidal. But there had also been plenty of times when she had proven that she could come up with perfectly good solutions.

"How sure are you of that shield, Bella?"

"I mean… right now I know it's not the best. But I know I can do more if I keep up with my training. Especially now that we know it has some effect on the werewolf as well."

My muscles tensed up the second she brought the last part into the conversation. The memory of her getting hurt burned in my brain. The bracelet-like mark around her wrist didn't help with that. Like with most things, she said it really didn't phase her that much. A part of me had expected her to be a little more wise in regards to her own self-preservation, but when did she ever behave according to my predictions?

"You might be onto something," my father said. "Why don't you call Alice to discuss this with her?"

Only two seconds had passed when Bella's phone rang, Alice's name popping up on the screen. I answered, putting it on speaker as well. This had to be some weird family reunion.

"Yes!" my sister's voice resounded loudly. "You're smarter than all of us combined sometimes, Bella, I swear."

"Hello, little one," Carlisle saluted her.

"Hello," she replied. "I've had two visions in a row just before calling and this thing you're thinking of, Bella, buys us time. This would throw Demetri off the loop. The other vision had him finding us in less than two weeks."

"Does he find us in the other vision?" I asked.

"Not yet, from what I've seen. This will depend very much on Bella and how far she manages to get with her training. But with me and Jazz there, that won't be a problem. I can be _very_ pushy when I want to."

"I think we all know that," Carlisle added.

"I'll meet you and Bella in Taipei in less than two days, all right?" she said.

"Are you insane?" I uttered. "The population density there is of thousands of people, we cannot go there."

"We'll not be standing in the centre, silly. I already saw us checking in a small inn, in the Yuanyanggu Forest."

"I'm repeating myself here, but are you insane? An inn has plenty of people in it."

"I said _small_ inn, dummy. There won't be more than ten people in it."

Bella in the presence of more than ten people sent chills down my spine. We had encountered large crowds in the airports, but we had never spent too much time there. We had even been in the presence of humans for weeks on end, in the tourist camp in Belaya Gora. But the people there were houses away from us, not a few walls away - furthermore, they never remained there during the day.

"Alice, we won't be coming alone though," Bella intervened. "Nellie is coming with us as well."

"Oh, yeah, I know that. We'll get along well, I've seen it."

"Kids, with or without Alice's visions, this is not without risks," Carlisle stepped in. "I want you all to keep moving every two days from now on, you understand?"

"Yes, it goes without saying," I agreed.

"And Edward," he continued. "If we get through this, I won't be leaving you alone the next full moon, I promise you that."

"Carlisle, you don't have to…"

"I know, but I will. But let's talk about this some other time, shall we? You need to go now."

"Dahan Inn," Alice said, all of a sudden. "That's where we'll meet."

Things started to move very quickly after that phone call. Our bags were already packed and Nellie returned just as we were exiting the house. The marmalade in her eyes was a tad redder now. We returned via the ATV we had rented and returned the keys to our host, Guillermo. I left him a fat tip, just to be polite, despite him ogling my wife again. I was somewhat grateful I couldn't hear his thoughts, but they were not hard to guess.

We were back to the airport in no time. We had to wait an hour to get a clean runway, during which I kept Bella's hand tightly squeezed in mine, sitting in a corner far enough away from the rest of the crowd. Nell was a little too fascinated with the concept of airports, given that she hadn't seen too many in her life, which meant that she got to walk in every Duty Free in sight, gazing at all the trivialities that humans bought. Of course she came back with a sarcastic remark about humans and their penchant for buying useless fancy stuff, that had Bella laughing for ten seconds straight. Strange were the ways of teenage humour.

The flight to Taipei was short and turbulence-ridden. But Bella didn't waste a second of it and kept trying to extend her shield, in order to block out Nellie's power. It got a little better: for a whole minute, I got to be a guest in Nellie's mind. Nothing of interest came up, just random bits of thoughts regarding the last days. But I didn't need _interesting_. I needed Bella to succeed.

We arrived a little before sunset. Luckily for us, it was a cloudy September day, so we had no reason to bring our hoodies and sunglasses and gloves from the baggage. By the time we arrived, I was sure that Chelsea and Heidi had completed their mission. I couldn't check with Alice, since she was up in the air. It would take her and Jasper another day and a half to catch all their connecting flights and arrive.

With our path clearly set by Alice, we rented a car - all this renting made me miss my actual cars that I had in Forks - and headed straight to the Yuanyanggu Forest. The Dahan Inn was placed somewhere deep within the woods, close to a stream of water that was so small it had no name.

As we got closer, following an off-road between the beech trees, a horde of smells started to swarm in the air: cooked animal meat, ginger, soy, cabbage, leek and all sorts of spices. And along with them, the unmistakable scent of human blood, potent and heavy, despite there not being too many people checked in.

"We'll ask for the most isolated room," I told Bella, as I was parking the car in the small lot in front of the inn.

"I'm well-fed, I think we'll be good."

Lord knew she was well-fed. I had made a habit out of taking her hunting every few days. Sometimes she complained, but she always obliged in the end.

"Nellie, we'll get you a room of your own here."

I saw her face cringing in the rear mirror.

"I still don't know about that, it's-"

"We agreed on this," I cut her off. "We remain close-by in the following circumstances. If anything happens and we have to leave, there is no time for an assembly."

"Yes, but… it looks like it costs big money. I don't have big money and it's definitely weird to have someone pay for me."

I rolled my eyes. I had so much training with Bella forever being humble and always making a fuss about me spending any amount of money on her, that I was convinced I always had a counter-argument.

"Money is never the problem with us," I pointed out.

Any previous embarrassment she might have felt earlier seemed to disappear when she responded:

"You did not say that out loud."

"I did."

"Wow, the wonders of being upper-class!"

At the reception, we had to pretend we were family. The old lady from the reception seemed troubled enough by our trio - but whatever she hid in her thoughts, she kept it out of her speech. We ended up a couple of rooms and one floor apart. Before we parted ways, I made sure to give Nell a few books, to make the passing of time easier for her. She seemed particularly interested in Maya Angelou's 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings' - I could only hope it would offer her some solace, if she needed any, after the way she had opened up in front of us about her past days ago.

The room Bella and I received had charmingly rustic vibes. Everything in it seemed to be made of wood: the floor, the headboard, the window frames, the table, the bench in front of it, the cabinet, the shelves. As a result, the scent of oak was overpowering, swallowing everything in its wake. Bella's face seemed oddly disconcerted for a few seconds and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"What is it?"

"I just had a flashback of sorts," she responded. "I can still remember most things from my human life, but it seems that the further back I go, the blurrier they tend to get. But this one was not blurry at all."

I circled her waist with my arm, leaving the baggages down.

"Care to share it with me?"

"Oh, it's not even that astounding. It was just an image of me visiting my grandma back when I was little. The smell of her house was just like the scent in here, I swear."

As long as this was the scent enveloping her senses, I could only rejoice deep down.

"At night, my mom and I slept in the same room there, and we talked until late. She would always tell me to keep my laughing at a low volume, to not wake grandma up. You see, she was a light sleeper."

I smiled, in love with the enthusiasm she had over this small memory. I wanted this small bliss to last a little longer. But we both knew that as we talked, Cochran was probably losing his mind over the loss of his wife. He had probably called the police by now and it was only a matter of time until he was going to speak out to the press again. I felt a pang of regret and sorrow over this image: a man whose objectively good intentions had brought him to the worst possible fate, his wife murdered for the sole purpose of getting a damned plan rolling. Just two pawns in the game the Volturi were setting up, without even knowing.

If these thoughts brought me pain, I couldn't imagine what hid in my father's mind. How bad was he blaming himself, for not arriving on time, to save that woman? Did the tiniest amount of resentment seep inside his soul, in regards to me and Bella? I was afraid to ask him and receive his neverending kindness, knowing that I deserved anything but that.

"Edward?" Bella's soft voice took the reins of my conscience and I felt thankful. We could still be us, if only for a little while.

"Hm?"

"Will you join me for a shower?"

There she went again, with those eyes full of invitations. And _this_ , in particular, was an invitation I could never refuse. She was already unbuttoning her shirt in front of my very eyes, waiting for my response.

We didn't make it to the bathroom. In fact, we barely made it to the floor.

I attacked her before she got to the next button of her shirt. My hands got rid of her clothes for her and we fell to the ground, in a tangle of limbs, her body aching for friction just like mine did.

"Shower?" she gasped when I offered her the chance to talk, by lowering my mouth from her lips to her earlobe. I traced it with my tongue, making her shiver.

"Love, you smell way too good right now," I whispered, nibbling at her ear between words.

And she did smell amazing: without the constant tropical heat of the Philippines, the lavender sugar undertones of her fragrance blossomed in a way that master perfumers could have only dreamed of.

"Human habits..."

"To hell with them, I need your scent."

My whispering had turned into a groan. I got back to kissing her, making no effort to be delicate when I invaded her mouth with my tongue. She welcomed my decision by wrapping her legs around me, pushing my pelvis down with the soles of her feet, so that my erection could press right into her scorching center. Her wetness was going to leave stains on my trousers, but I couldn't care less about it.

Bella found quickly enough a motion that had her clitoris rubbing against the slit of my pants. She moaned hard, the sound getting lost in the back of my throat as I continued kissing her. The motion continued, driving me crazy with need - and driving herself closer to orgasm before I even got the chance to touch her.

"No, no, no, Bella," I broke away from her, to gaze down at her face. "We're not doing it like this."

"But-"

"No 'but's. I want you to come hard when I'm inside you. Understood?"

Her eyes flickered with lust. She liked being subdued, that much I knew. I would've been lost if she didn't, because subduing her in bed - or, in this case, on the wooden floor - came naturally to me, almost like a basic instinct.

"Yes, Edward."

In my unyielding need for her, I grabbed her breasts in my palms, squeezing them hard, the action resulting in a beautiful whimper from her. She was all too sensitive and I couldn't help but marvel at all the ways in which her body responded to my actions. It was always a new spectacle, just waiting to unravel.

This time, the spectacle involved some of the most luscious sounds my ears had ever heard - not two of them the same. And while I loved them - for each one of them indicated her desire growing and boiling and bubbling over the edge - it might not have been the wisest idea for the neighbours to hear them as well. Especially the neighbours that could hear particularly well.

"We can't make too much noise, love," I told her, just as I was taking one rosy nipple between my fingers and started to twist it. "Can I rely on you to keep a low volume?"

I let my other hand trail her stomach, not making too many pit stops along the way, until it arrived between her legs. Her wetness on the tip of my fingers greeted me, letting me know I was more than welcome here: I was expected. I found her clitoris and started flicking it rapidly, while my other hand was still busy twisting her nipple.

"Edward, oh, God!"

"Lower," I commanded.

Her thighs clenched around me tightly, to the point it almost hurt, but I continued working on her clitoris.

"I'm close, I-"

"Lower, Bella, lower."

Her moaning turned into sobbing and suspiring. I knew she was close; I could feel the electricity between us growing, her clitoris pulsing for liberation, her liquids dripping liberally. Ruthlessly, I slowed down my rubbing. This had her return to being noisy - and God, how I loved her when she was noisy, but this was not the right place for this.

Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind.

"I see," I murmured, letting go of her nipple and stopping the attack on her clitoris. "You leave me no choice but to take care of this myself."

I removed myself from her embrace, remaining on my knees in front of her. She immediately raised up on her elbows, to look at me. I unbuckled my belt - some limited edition designer leather belt that Alice had bought for me years ago, way before I even met Bella - and removed it from its hinges.

"What are you doing with that?"

"Silencing that beautiful mouth of yours."

I was back between her legs in no time. She remained on her elbows and her lips parted, awaiting. Prudently, I placed the metallic buckle in her mouth, while I draped the leather strap around her head. Once I got back to the metallic part, I passed the end tip through it, letting the prong pierce through one of the holes and closing the belt tightly.

Bella gagged with my belt. What a sight to behold that was. My erection was threatening to explode from my pants if I didn't do something about it soon.

"Now," I said. "This will be a lesson in good manners, my love, don't you think?"

She nodded affirmatively and lifted her hips up, to meet my hardness once again. I pushed myself against her, savouring the way her arousal smudged on my trousers.

"You will feel the need to bite," I said. "When that need comes, I want you to repress it, you understand? Because Alice won't be happy if you ruin this belt."

As if I could care about Alice and her fashion trinkets. All I wanted was to enjoy Bella like this for as long as I could.

My wife nodded 'yes' again. With that, I rose up from the floor to remove my clothes, letting them fall in a shapeless pile near us. Her eyes widened and remained fixed on my shaft. I could never get tired of her reaction whenever she saw me naked: the way her pupils dilated, making her eyes almost black with need, the upheaval in her breath, the wetness growing more copious.

Getting back on the floor, over her, I slid my hand back between her thighs.

"I love how wet you get for me, Bella," I whispered, my thumb tugging gently at the hood of her clitoris. "I've fucked you all day yesterday and you still want more. What am I going to do with you?"

She circled my body with her limbs, her hands working to bring me closer and closer to her. I felt the warmth of her slit pressing against the tip of my penis. It would have been easy to slide down inside in one motion. But she could use some more teasing, so I only pushed my tip inside. Her small lips parted, making room for my girth, and she made a sound that was immediately weakened by the belt in her mouth.

"Mmmmm, you have no idea how good you feel."

I rotated my hips slightly and Bella threw me a desperate look, moving her hands to my buttocks, trying to lodge me inside her. I resisted her strength and with a wide grin on my face, I went only an inch deeper. Another muffled sound came from her throat.

"Always so impatient," I admonished her. "Let me savour you inch by inch, Bella."

Taking her wrists into my hands - and making a deliberate effort to not think about the scar on her right wrist - I pushed a little more. She frowned, lifting herself up once again, to meet me, winning another three inches in the process. Still, she sighed deeply, because we both knew I was not even halfway in.

Longing to kiss her - and unable to, thanks to her mouth already being occupied by my belt - I pressed my lips inside the hollow of her neck. The scent of her was so powerful here, calling to me like a siren calling a lost sailor. I pushed further inside Bella, as my teeth sunk into her throat. In response, her nails dug into my shoulders.

I continued to immerse myself in her body slowly, one inch at a time. She tried to get me to go faster, which only made me go slower. But when I was all in, there was no going back - I wanted more, I needed more, I craved more. And I could not see a point in denying our mutual necessities.

There was nothing she could do when I started moving inside her: careful at first, to see how she wanted it, then with more resolve when I understood that she wanted it hard. She spoke with her body only, letting me know what she needed with her eyes, with her hands, with her legs. I loved seeing her so helplessly under my control, her perfect moans stopped in their tracks by my belt.

When I had her like this, I knew she was safe. Nothing could hurt her. And the way she was offering herself so readily showed me that she, too, felt safe. She had told me countless times before that I could do anything to her, putting all of her trust in me. It was a wild promise to make to a man and I doubted she understood the full effect that that particular knowledge had on me. There were still so many things I wanted to try with her - some of which I had told her about, some still starring in my fantasies, waiting to be lived out…

Silently possessing Bella in public.

Teasing her for a whole day with no release in sight.

Depriving her of all her senses and power.

Spanking her ass into complete submission.

Making her come over a phone call.

Having her suck me while piloting a plane.

Watching her pleasure herself - maybe even taking some photos of that sensual spectacle.

All of a sudden, I found myself on the brim of my climax. And judging by the way Bella's walls started clenching around me, she was right there with me too. She looked at me with eager eyes and I knew what she needed.

"Come for me, love," I groaned. "Show me how much you love this..."

Writhing and squirming, making sounds so small that only I could hear, she let go. With the exquisite pressure of her interior on me, I did the same. We came hard and long, grasping at each other in desperation with everything we had, and I bit into her shoulder to hide my animalistic growl.

When I woke up from the trance she had me in, I found myself murmuring 'I love you' over and over again. Still gagged, Bella couldn't respond to my eulogies, but she didn't have to. I knew she loved me just the same. Her hands kept caressing every inch of my skin she could reach. I understood then that nothing and no one would ever tear me apart from her. Not the Volturi with their insidious plans of taking me and Alice into their guard, for we would find our way back to each other before they could do anything about it. Not the werewolf, for it would not go on to live much longer. Not even death, for I would go through all the circles of the Inferno to find the gates of Heaven and get her back to me.

If only my burst of optimism didn't have an expiration date.

* * *

**So is anyone going to look at belts the same way again? ;)**

**Belts aside, things are getting serious with the Volturi and I am oddly excited about this.**

**If you've got any thoughts on the events of this chapter or on the story in general, feel free to share them! Reading and responding to your reviews is like my own personal brand of heroine (It's all right, I'll see myself out).**

**Stay safe and happy, guys!**


	20. Tempting

"You are not seriously wearing _that_ \- it's a joke, right?"

The anger in Alice's jingling voice was directed towards both me and Bella. She sounded seriously and majorly offended.

Bella and I had dressed in a hurry. Our lovemaking made us lose track of time completely. I was still deep inside her when I heard Alice's voice somewhere outside. With my special hearing numbed by Nell and my normal hearing overwhelmed by my wife, I had managed to be taken aback. I hid the belt with which I had silenced Bella under the bed - the last thing Alice would have wanted to see was the bite marks on her limited edition gift. We dressed rapidly, grabbing the first pieces of clothing we managed to find - which for me happened to be a pair of trekking pants and a cashmere sweater, and for Bella a pair of jeans and something that I wasn't quite sure whether it was a dress or a blouse, that hid her lovely curves in a way I didn't like.

I ignored Alice's rage and pulled her in for a close embrace.

"I've missed you, Alice," I said.

And I had truly missed my sister. Our special bond had been a source of comfort for the longest time, way before I had met Bella. The years Alice and Jasper lived in their own house, back in the '80s, had not been the happiest of my life. I had paid them as many visits as I could without Esme urging me to 'let them breathe a little'.

Things had changed after Bella became the center of my universe, because all of a sudden, I knew who I could not live without. The comfort she brought me was different from the kind of comfort Alice offered me: deeper somehow, more grounded, almost palpable.

Still, I had missed Alice - and I only became aware of how much now that I had her in my arms.

"For how much you've missed me, you'd think you would've made an effort to dress better," she mumbled at my chest.

I laughed and finally let her go. She jumped up and attacked Bella with a hug, and they both giggled with joy at the reunion. Jasper was not much of a hugger, but we shook hands and patted each other on the back, smiling.

"It's good to see you again," he said.

"Same to you, Jazz."

Lost in our 'welcome back' ritual, we barely realized that Nell had come downstairs and was now waiting in the doorway. I saw her over Jasper's shoulder, studying us with cautious eyes. She didn't seem scared, just prudent. I sighed and motioned her to join us.

"Alice, Jasper, this is Nellie. Nellie, these are my brother and sister."

Jasper bowed his head gracefully, smiling, while Alice simply went and hugged her. Nell flinched - her usual response to touches of any kind, as Bella and I had learned - but accepted the hug nonetheless.

"It's weird now, but we'll get along," my sister said, before letting her go.

I couldn't really understand why suddenly I felt so bashful about this meeting. It was not in my nature to feel that. I looked up at Jasper out of habit, trying to understand this sudden mood change - then I realized it wasn't him that was changing the emotions in the room. It was Nellie.

When she understood, she flashed Jasper a wide smile, the bashfulness in the air disappearing all of a sudden.

"Neat power, dude! I was kind of hoping my brain would pick this one over seeing the future."

"I told her she would get either power of yours," I explained.

"Well, no one gets _my_ power," Alice said, lifting her nose up in the air in the most dramatic way she knew.

"That leaves you and me, Jazz," I said.

"What? You mean the kid can now read minds _and_ manipulate emotions?"

"I am 15," she rolled her eyes.

"It's the way she works - she steals two gifts at a time," Bella said.

"I cannot complain," Jasper uttered. "It feels nice to not have my mood-radar on for once. You might be useful, Nell."

She shrugged, a pleased expression dominating her face. Alice went to close the door, dragging the two suitcases she had left at the doorway inside, along with three boxes wrapped in shiny golden paper, with bows on top. One of the boxes was bigger than the others, emanating the recognizable scent of expensive fabric.

"Okay, I know these days have been wild for everyone, so I bought a few little somethings."

"You call that little?" my wife said, gesturing towards the big box.

"Yes - and speaking of which, this one is yours, birthday girl."

"It's no longer my birthday," Bella complained.

"Well, I never got to celebrate it with you last year either, so feel free to suck it up!"

This made me more joyous than it should have. If I hadn't been able - and also allowed - to give Bella the birthday she deserved, at least Alice could, if only a little bit. But something on my love's face told me that she wanted anything but that.

"All right, these two are for you and for you," Alice said, handing me a box that looked smaller than the one Bella had received, but felt extremely heavy, and offering Nellie an even smaller box. "Now what are you waiting for? Open them!"

Without further ado, we did as told. Carefully peeling away the wrapping paper (I knew how my sister hated it when someone disrespected her efforts by tearing it away), I opened the mysterious box. When I realized what hid inside, I froze.

"I saw you going to the store and buying this at some point in the future, so I figured I might spare you the trouble," Alice offered softly.

I couldn't look her in the eyes. The box was filled with at least ten sets of climbing ropes: each had a different colour, a different thickness, a different durability. If Alice had seen me buying all these ropes, that meant she had also seen what I was going to do with them.

"Ummm… thank you," I managed.

"You're welcome!"

Jasper started laughing at my momentary self-consciousness. I expected Nellie to act all grossed out at this exchange, but when I raised my eyes from my gift, I saw her staring inside her own box.

"A phone? Are you for real?"

She was a bit scandalized, I could tell. But I didn't have to read minds or perceive emotions to know that she also felt excited.

"I figured you'll need it at some point," Alice said.

"But this is too much, I-"

"Oh, I am not playing that game," my sister interrupted her. "Haven't your folks taught you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?"

My eyes darted in Alice's direction in a second. I knew she was joking - but she didn't know what I knew about the kid's parents.

"Don't," was all I told her.

"It's fine," Nell laughed. "My folks were not the finest people, so to answer your question - no. But thank you for this! No one's ever given me a gift before. At least not in this life."

When I searched Bella's gaze, I saw her standing on the bed, rummaging silently through the contents of her gift, with a deep frown between her brows. In an instant I was next to her, my lips pressing on the top of her head.

"What have you got there, love?"

"A shop worth of clothes, it seems," she sighed, taking a pastel green button-up shirt from the box and studying it up close.

"This will look amazing against your skin," I stated, already imagining the soft delicious contrast.

"But there are so many!"

"Well," Alice started, stepping towards us. "I wouldn't have had to buy _so many_ if someone here hadn't shredded half your wardrobe."

I could not dare argue with the truth. Between the two of us, I had surely been way more reckless than I should have been when it came to undressing. For how many times I had had to be careful with her in her human days, I had taken my time acting out my retaliation in her new life - even when it wasn't the wisest choice.

"Thank you," Bella muttered in the end, defeated. "I guess I needed some of these."

"Of course you needed them."

My wife explored the contents of the box just a few seconds more, before giving up completely and putting it aside, pulling the lid back on top. While I could not see what was inside, I could smell satin and lace, among other garments. I tried to not get carried away too much by this realization, nor by the thoughts it kicked off in my head - thoughts of Bella covered in flimsy lace and immobilized by multiple ropes to a bed, my fingers between her thighs and my member deep in her throat. My venom shooting out on her cheeks, in her hair, on her neck…

"So anyhow," Nellie began, her eyes flowing in my direction and nodding in revulsion for a fraction of a second. "What happens next?"

"There's still a few hours until the news journal begins and Elijah goes live with his new declaration on CNN," Alice sighed. "So I would say to use that time to get going with Bella's training. After all, she's the ace in our sleeves."

"You are too, darling," Jasper replied, his arm locking her in place, closer to him. For once, I was glad I couldn't hear what was going on through his head. Still, I felt bad for Nellie and all the things she had to listen to.

"I know I am, but my visions won't hide us from Demetri's radar."

"So we start now?" Bella's voice was eager and she stood up in a second. I followed her out of instinct.

"Damn right we do, sister."

We tried something a little different this time. With two powerless vampires in the room, Bella tried to get both Jasper and me under her shield. At times, I could hear again. Other times, it was Jasper who informed us he could feel our emotions again. It went back and forth between me and him, Bella's shield flowing in an unpredictable way. She could cover me more easily than she could with Jasper and I figured it was just a matter of practice - after all, she had been experimenting on me for over a week now, with positive results.

This left Alice exposed to Nellie's power a couple of times. While Nellie didn't have any visions in particular, my sister wasn't exactly a fan of not being in control of what she could see.

Bella managed to cover both me and Jasper. It never lasted longer than a minute, but it was a progress. It didn't matter how many times Alice and I had told her she was doing amazing. She still felt it wasn't enough. Furthermore, she found it extremely unfair how every vampire she had met simply knew what to do with their given gift, while she had to work for it.

"Bella, that guy I've been telling you about was the same," Alice pointed out, reminding Bella once again of the vampire she had met in the '30s, who could also project his shield. "Some powers are simply earned, I guess."

"That is so unfair."

Seeing her so frustrated, it was impossible to not agree with her. I wanted it to be easier - and it was hard to comprehend why it wasn't. I didn't have much to go by, given that all the gifted vampires I had personally met never had a problem with exerting their powers. These waters were just as unknown for me as they were for her.

Eventually, we had to take a break when Alice opened the TV. It was such a cruel joke - we knew what was coming, yet we could not help but watch, just like humans with their morbid curiosity of staring at a car crash. The news journal began innocently enough: some bank robbery at KeyBank, some new storm cells forming down the Tornado Alley. We remained silent, listening, waiting for the inevitable.

When the headline about a new unexplainable small-town crime appeared on the screen, the silence grew heavier. I was barely aware of Bella's hand, suddenly weak in mine, when we saw Cochran's face on the screen. His eyes were puffy, yet oddly sunk in his head, a quiet testament of the tragedy unraveling in his soul.

"I am most positive of what I'd seen this time. The same two women… they were basically… eating from..."

"Are you suggesting an act of cannibalism, sir?"

"I am suggesting two demons have murdered… have taken my wife's life away. I don't know what they are… banshees, vampires, devils, I don't know. But they're the same as the last time."

"Did you consider the possibility of hallucinations, sir?"

"I saw it with my own eyes, ma'am."

This was not going well at all. He was saying all the right words for the Volturi to have their perfect orchestrated excuse to come after us and all the right words for him to be labeled as a complete lunatic by the humans. We were losing, he was losing. There was no way out.

"The investigators did not do enough when that poor family got killed. I spoke out and I got punished for it… I..."

The man's stuttering turned into a small wailing and he looked to his side, in what seemed to be an attempt to hide his face from the camera.

"I've got nothing left to lose now," he added, his voice trembling. "There will be more victims if we don't spread the word."

The video cut back to the news anchor, the discourse slightly alluding to the fact that Cochran's emotional state could make him invent certain scenarios to cope with his loss.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was soft, almost a whisper. "Are you okay?"

My eyes flew immediately from the screen to my wife. Her eyes were still fixated on the TV, unmoved. But the rest of her body was shaking, the tremor so delicate it would have gone unnoticed by a human. She didn't respond, she didn't blink, she didn't breathe. She just kept on quivering.

So much for all those times in the past two months when I thought she would have a breakdown and she didn't - she was having it now, right in front of us.

"Come take a walk with me," I said, securing her hand tightly in mine.

It was not an invitation. I stood up and she followed mechanically. We walked across the room, under the scrutinizing gazes of the others, and we exited through the door. She kept holding her breath as we walked down the stairs, passed by the reception, where a couple of new tourists were checking in, and got outside. This day was just as cloudy as the one before.

"Keep a steady pace until we pass that family," I whispered rapidly. "Then we turn right to circle the inn and run north."

Bella barely acknowledged my words. The noisy family in front of us stared us down as we crossed our paths. I heard them mumbling in Mandarin; the woman was trying to convince her husband that she had seen my wife in some blockbuster movie, while he was trying to convince her that she had to take a break from watching too many Hollywood productions. When they got inside, we turned around - or rather I turned around and dragged Bella after me behind the building, because she didn't seem to be too cooperating in that moment.

I didn't have to remind her to run - she did so on her own, sprinting and disappearing between the beech trees. I followed in an instant, tracking the scent she left behind. She was as fast as ever, and the small headstart had given her an advantage. It wasn't as easy to outrun her as it was with my brothers. Seeing that she wouldn't stop, I started shouting after her.

We were far from the inn now - far enough to not be under Nellie's influence anymore. I could hear the faint traces of thoughts coming from humans who were trekking miles away from us. That was exactly where Bella was headed, whether intentionally or not. I yelled once again after her, with no result. She jumped over small creeks of water, seemingly with no direction.

It took me longer than I would have cared to admit to catch up with her rhythm - or almost catch up. With just three feet separating me from her, I reached out to grab her waist. The movement had been so abrupt that it caught both of us off guard. She fell and I ended up on the ground as well, over her and then under her and then over her and then under her again, as our bodies rolled on the ground with speed. We only stopped when we hit a coniferous tree. Its trunk moved ever so slightly upon impact, but thanks to its girth, it didn't break.

"Where the hell were you going?" I asked.

"I just… wanted to run, I guess."

I rose up from the ground and offered her my hand, to help her get up as well.

"It's all right, Bella, let's talk."

She kept her eyes away from mine, studying the carpet of leaves at our feet.

"What happened there?"

"You've seen the news," she mumbled.

"I have. We knew it was coming though."

"Doesn't make it any better."

She leaned against the tree, allowing herself to slide down the rough bark and back to the ground. To make things even, I sat down in front of her, pulling her slightly in my lap and taking her hands in mine.

"Talk to me," I pleaded.

Bella didn't reply right away. I decided not to push and wait instead. Her eyes went back from me to the ground and then back to me, as she was finding her words.

"Okay," she murmured after a while. "Edward, that man is ruined. And he wouldn't have been if it weren't for me."

"What happened there last night is the Volturi's doing," I countered. "Not yours."

"Yes, but… it started with me. I was the first piece in this domino to fall. Butterfly effect and all that."

For a moment, I thought she would continue, but she didn't. This was usually the time she would say 'It is all right, let's just forget about it'. And the time I would remind her that burying things didn't exactly help. And the time she would distract me, in a lame attempt to cover up the real problem. And the time I would foolishly accept the distraction.

"You know what, it's-"

"It is _not_ all right," I interrupted her, making sure to emphasize each word. "We've been here way too many times and we are running out of time, love. Look at me, please."

I took her face in my hands, lifting it so that our eyes could meet.

"Edward, I..."

"You don't want to talk about it, I understand. I can't and I will not force you. But let me _hear_ , please."

She sighed, resting her cheek against my palm, a frown forming between her eyebrows.

"But how do I do that again?"

That was the greatest question of all. I had only heard her mind two times until that very moment. Both of those times had been when we were deeply lost in the throes of passion - the moments when Bella felt paradoxically safe and vulnerable at the same time. If this was of any indication, there was a way to open up her mind. We didn't have to make love for that to happen. Safety and vulnerability didn't go hand in hand solely with sex. Even more than that, they went hand in hand with love.

And God knew there was no limit to our love. All of a sudden, I felt relieved.

"Isabella," I murmured. "Keep looking at me."

Her lips parted ever so slightly, obeying. The golden streaks in her eyes grew thicker everyday, melting with the cherry red in an unexplainable colour, that had me transfixed. I wondered if she could appreciate their otherworldly beauty when she caught her reflection in the mirror as much as I did.

"Edward..."

"Don't force it, angel, just keep your eyes on mine," I continued, caressing her face with my hands.

She felt so warm. Still so warm, even after all of her blood had left her body. She had worried for so many times in the past that she was going to lose her charm in my eyes once her humanness would disappear. Oh, how wrong she had been!

"It's just you and me here, Bella, just you and me."

Her body relaxed little by little, as I kept talking to her, looking at her, tracing her features with my fingertips. I didn't have much of a plan other than adoring her with all the tenderness I held. I didn't know if it would take us on the right path, but I loved trying.

The usual clamour of voices in my head was something I had grown accustomed to over the years. If almost a century ago I felt that the noise was screeching and unbearable, over time I had learned to deal with it. I had discovered how to pick out the voices of my family and tune them out when needed. But this thing I was trying with my wife was still such a new, uncharted territory, that I wasn't sure how to proceed further. In an unexpected way, it made me feel young beyond my years.

" _Do you hear me yet?_ "

The sound penetrated my being to the very core. Even more than Bella's usual talking voice, this was a voice I could _feel_ , deep beneath the hard layers I was made of. I could feel the low vibrations of it in an unexplainable place of my chest, caressing my consciousness and fondling my emotions, its tendrils reaching far into my body. It felt as if it was part of me - not an uninvited guest, like all the other voices.

I couldn't dare speak, not yet, too afraid I would break the spell. Instead, I nodded 'yes' and listened closely, like never before, with my eyes glued on hers.

" _We really did it? Wow, so this is strange! I don't really have a filter now, do I?_ "

I chuckled at her rawness, this time nodding 'no'.

" _You look all cocky now. You've cracked the Bella code. Terrible joke, sorry. But you're laughing, so it can't be that terrible._ "

There was a clarity in her voice that had not been there the previous times. A strength that I could feel reverberating within me in waves. It was all too tempting to ask questions, but I decided to just let her stream of consciousness flow freely, in whichever direction her mind would take it, and _listen_ \- after all, I had no idea how long the miracle would last.

" _Funny thing, isn't it? We can still laugh, despite what's going on. I feel kind of terrible for that, to be honest. I think there should be some special punishment awaiting just for that. And I am afraid there is, but I also don't want to know what it is, if that makes sense. I can't help but wonder again and again and again what would've happened if I never went with Alice to the mall that night. We wouldn't have witnessed the accident, obviously. But would I have simply caved another day? Or would we be in Cardiff now, with you teaching Modern Languages and me waiting for you at home? Home… Our own home. We never got to have that. I wonder if we ever will._ "

Sadness seeped in her thoughts and that made me pull her closer to me out of pure instinct. I wanted a home of our own just as much as she did. In fact, I wanted nothing more in life than that: the certainty of having our safe space, where no one but us would get to live. It was an easy fantasy to have: coming home to my wife after a day at work. Telling her about my day and listening to her talk about hers. Taking a shower together, then making love on every possible surface of our house. Going out on a date and making love some more on our way back.

Simple things, really.

But I could not make promises that I didn't know if I could keep.

" _Maybe I don't deserve that home though. Not after everything, anyway. I feel so bad for that man. He's been thrown in hell. And he'll never get back from there and it is all my fault. His life will always be this unending circle of being sure of what he had seen and being mocked for sounding crazy. How is that fair for anyone? There will never be enough proof to make him seem reasonable, even if he is right… not that I want it to be. But that is just pure torture, no soul should go through that. And all because he had witnessed me at my worst and spoke out. The good men always get punished._ "

As much as I hated her sorrow and wanted to chase it away with my own hands, I understood. For thinking about Elijah Cochran and what had happened to him awakened the same pain within me.

" _I want justice for him, but I know that's a lost cause by now. I just don't know how to deal with this. At this point, the least I can do is provide some protection for our family, since we wouldn't be on the run if I hadn't been so impulsive._ "

"They understand," I murmured automatically.

She had to know that no one - maybe with the unsurprising exception of Rosalie - was blaming her. Or so I had been told.

" _I know they do. I don't know how to repay them for that, actually. But I am not an impulsive mess anymore, Edward. And you might not believe me and I don't blame you one bit if you don't, but I know I wouldn't screw things up again._ "

I couldn't respond to this. I didn't know how.

" _And it is selfish, I know, but I am a million times more worried for us. For what's going to happen. Just the thought of being separated from you is killing me. What the hell happens if the Volturi do get you in their guard? Can I just beg them to take me as well? I don't even know how that would work. All I know is I can't be without you, I love you too much, more than anyone will ever be able to comprehend._ "

Before I could think twice about it, my mouth found hers immediately and started moving fiercely.

" _God, I'll never tire of you. I love you._ "

In response, I dragged her closer to my chest, my hands knotting in her hair as I did that. This was no ordinary kiss - as if I could ever have anything ordinary with her. I was starving for her taste, and with the echo of her thoughts in my mind and in my chest, I felt as if I had been administered all the psychoactive drugs ever created all at once.

She was pure ecstasy, raw and maddening on my tongue.

" _Yes, don't stop!_ "

 _Never stopping for you, Bella_.

All of my defenses fell down when she pressed herself tightly against me. Everything she had, she offered: her love, her body, her soul, her mind. It was overwhelming to the extreme. Her thoughts soon turned into a long string of images of what she wanted me to do to her. I saw then something I had never seen in my life: myself, going down on her, in a memory that her mind had brought up among many others. I could see my own eyes glancing up, a look of ferocious rapacity in them, as my mouth moved hungrily between her legs.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy!" I gasped, interrupting our kiss for just a short second before resuming it.

" _You've got me so wet, I am soaking already. And you're so hard between my legs. Just fuck me like this, Edward. Don't take off my clothes, don't do anything. I just need you in me._ "

Each word pulsated in my conscience, feeding my own need for her. There was no fighting this desire, and I found myself unzipping my trekking pants. Bella did the same with her jeans, lifting herself up a little to slide them off her hips a few inches and to pull her underwear to her side - just enough to offer me access to my own personal Heaven. When she got back down in my lap, she did so by sliding down my erection, going all the way to the base and taking no time to accommodate her tight walls to me.

"Oh, God, Edward!" her moan pirouetted in the air, graceful and sensual, meddling with her thoughts.

" _You're going to break me in half one of these days with how big you are. Fuck me, please, please, please..._ "

With her ass in my palms, still covered in her briefs, I had no choice but to do that. We started moving together: Bella up and down above me, while I welcomed her movements with firm thrusts. As her mouth was letting out an entire concert of erratic sounds, her mind wasn't making too much sense either - but I loved the chaos I was hearing and I wished there was a way to record it.

It went back and forth from words and tantalizing profanities to images of us together, entangled in her fantasies: her bent over in my lap with me smacking the hell out of her round bottom, her tied up completely and at my mercy, her being at my complete command for a full day.

_Good Lord, have mercy, what?_

That last visual made my head spin: to have Bella so completely submissive to me aroused me more than it should have - maybe even more knowing that the idea came from her. I groaned in desperation, imagining all the doors that such a possibility would open for both of us, and urged her with my hands to move faster and faster, feeling her muscles contract from the friction.

I would keep her tied up to a tree and describe to her in full detail what I would like to do to her, without doing anything at all. I would have her suck me and swallow my venom again and again and again, for hours, without any pauses. I would tease her so bad she would come without my touch. And I would only get rid of her wet underwear and fuck her properly at the end of the day.

 _One day_. Damn, one day we would do all that and more.

And as my Bella was giving her everything to me, I heard far in the distance the laughters of a few kids. They sounded young - maybe close to Nell's age, judging solely by the tone of their jingles - and they spoke Japanese. I tried tuning them out, to focus on the only mental voice that mattered. And it worked for a short while, until it didn't.

Everything happened so fast, I could barely comprehend the succession of events, but I knew that the screaming came first. A boy cried out and got cut out by a cracking sound, then the others followed suit. I could see in their minds what had just happened: eager to get to the top of a waterfall, that boy had chosen a tricky route, climbing on some slippery rocks. He had slipped seconds after making the wrong decision, falling to the ground, head first into a sharp rock. Now, beyond the undulating sounds of the waterfall, there was another sound: that of the blood sloshing slowly out of his body and onto the rock.

But more importantly, more aggravating to me than this was the fact that there was no more Bella - not in my mind, not in my lap, nor anywhere in sight.

* * *

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	21. Envisioning

_This is not happening ._

_No._

_Not again._

Did the divine providence have a sick way of never letting me catch a break? It certainly felt like that, as I was darting through the trees, too far behind Bella. The smell of blood was getting stronger each second and I knew Bella had not arrived, because I could see in the minds of the kids that they were still alone, still freaking out over their friend being badly injured and bleeding freely.

"Goddamnit, Bella, stop right now, I know you can hear me!" my voice came in a roar, but I couldn't bring myself to care about manners.

 _The kids_. I just had to get to them before she did. It was all right. I could do this. She was fast, but I could be faster. My feet started moving more intently, almost flying across the ground. I zipped my pants back up as I ran, my desire from earlier suddenly drowned out by panic. My love was well-fed, but it didn't matter now. With the scent of fresh human blood being spilled, that didn't mean much. I felt fire burning in my own throat, although not even remotely close to what I used to feel for Bella's blood, as I ran.

For the shortest second, I caught a glimpse of her hair, flowing behind her like a thick veil. We were seconds away from the boys.

"For God's sake, listen to me!" I tried once again, with no success.

_Please stop._

_Please don't do this._

_Please stop!_

I was throwing thoughts into the void, I knew it was useless. My feet were failing me, unable to catch up with Bella's newborn speed. Still, I tried harder and harder, not giving up.

But someway, somehow, the merciful void had listened - because the next second, my wife stopped and I bumped right into her. The boys were now only two dozen feet away from us. Only a few thick trees were separating us from them. I could not concentrate on their cries of help, knowing that they were in far more danger than they could have imagined. My arms circled around Bella's body and I kept her glued to me.

"Don't. Move. Another. Inch," I warned.

"Wasn't planning on it."

She didn't sound tense. Or scared. Or even hungry, as I had expected. There was, however, a deep frown dimming her features.

"I don't want to hurt them, Edward, I promise. But you need to help that kid."

The cries persisted, growing more desperate. The kids were completely clueless as to what to do next. Panic had frozen their logic.

"We need to go back right now," I said.

"I'll go right back to the inn and tell Alice. We'll call an ambulance, but… stay and help him. Please?"

Her eyes were begging, desperate, needy. There was no sign in them of being on the verge of cracking, yet I felt scared to let her go from my arms. The scent of blood was dense in the air, tingling in the back of my throat, playing with my own thirst. With decades of practice behind me, it wasn't an extraordinary effort to not let my judgement get clouded. But I couldn't be so sure about her.

"Let me go, Edward."

"No."

My response came automatically, as the crying in the background grew more intent.

"Please, do it for me," she insisted. "I… need to make this right this once."

I felt her fingers dipping into my flesh, painful almost, with how hard she was pressing them. My grip on her loosened ever so slightly.

"I can't do it without you," Bella added.

"Love, what do you-"

"I'll run," she interrupted. "And you'll stay to help them until a medical crew arrives. Please, I want to make it right!"

Urgency boiled in her voice and I began to understand. Beyond this sudden wish to help laid more than self-control - there was also the need to have a rematch, however small, for her past mistakes. A rematch I had never realized she needed so desperately until now.

God, was I dense sometimes.

I let my arms fall to my sides, releasing her completely. Risking. Trusting. Hoping.

Bella did not disappoint. As soon as I set her free, she disappeared once again - this time, running in the opposite direction, the sound of her feet getting more distant with each second, until I could no longer hear it.

For the first time since we had left the lands of Alaska, I was completely without my Bella. She was no longer within easy reach, as she had always been.

A wave of panic washed over me, heated and strong. _I was without Bella_. Bad things had happened in the past when I let that happen. But she was now far from the spilled blood - that had to mean something. Would she make it past the reception desk of the inn without doing anything reckless? She had managed to keep her control here, but was it enough?

The worst part was that I had no more time to linger on my anxiety. The scent of death looming in the air was powerful and I had to act quickly. I got out from the cover of trees and tried to keep a running pace that would suit a human. Three pairs of eyes raised up at me, dread swimming in them. Only one pair remained closed: that of the boy laying on the ground.

While I didn't have Carlisle's decades of medical practice, I knew the theory of what I had to do. The boys stood back out of instinct when they saw me. My knowledge of the Japanese language put them at ease, if only for a little bit, when I told them I can help their friend until medical help arrives. One of them had already called an ambulance - and I figured Bella did so too by now, if she had managed to get back incident-free.

With great care, I kneeled in front of the wounded kid. He was still breathing, but he was unconscious. I asked the boys if they had gauze or anything resembling that on hand. Luckily, two of them had come prepared, which made my mission much easier. I ripped a good portion of the gauze roll they handed me, folding the material in on itself and pressing the cloth gently to the open wound. The skull was obviously fractured, so I had to keep my touch as delicate as possible, to avoid any additional harm.

I kept talking to the boys as I continued taking great care of their wounded friend. They didn't say much in return, too frozen by their collective shock to communicate more. It was surprisingly easy to ignore the blood when my attention wasn't focused solely on it. Having a clear purpose helped and my mind conjured up Carlisle's face in response to what was happening. I had seen so many memories of him attending his patients throughout the years and the lack of conflict within him had always puzzled me. He would tell me he was just doing his job - nothing more, nothing less.

It wasn't until now, that I began to understand his resolve in a way I never would have thought possible. My throat was burning, of course. But the pain of that was barely stinging now, because that wasn't what mattered most. What mattered now was the kid in front of me, who was probably going to suffer from some long-term head trauma after this accident, but who _could live_. He had to live. For his sake. For his loved ones' sake. For Bella's sake.

 _Bella_.

I didn't have my phone with me, to call and see what she was doing. A small part of me could perfectly understand why my mindset was not the healthiest. From the outside, I could bet it would have been easily taken for a controlling behaviour. But I didn't need to control my wife, at least not beyond the walls of our bedroom, where she longed to be dominated and I longed to indulge that wish - the rest of the time, she was perfectly capable of doing that on her own. However, the accident had warped my views. The mere thought of leaving her alone left me a crumbling mess, full of anxiety, fearing that something bad would happen if we parted.

But nothing bad had happened yet. Nothing bad would. Not again.

" _Edward, she is okay._ "

Alice's mental voice called out from the distance, the chimes within it resonating high above the voices of the kids. Listening closely, I heard the air wheezing as she ran.

" _She's with Jazz and Nell now. Help should be here in about… Five minutes and twenty seconds, if my senses serve me right. In fact, you can probably hear it._ "

I exhaled, without realizing how clenched my entire body had been up to that point. In the background, the rattle of a helicopter grew closer.

" _I could see some sort of panic attack in your near future, so I'm here._ "

And she was indeed _here_. Hidden behind the trees, she stopped and remained unmoved, waiting. I made an effort to talk some more to the boys - they were already creeped out enough by the odd pale stranger who had come out of the woods, dressed in a questionable combination of cashmere sweater and trekking pants, to help them save their friend. Silence wouldn't have helped with easing up their apprehension, understandably so.

An emergency team arrived soon after, right when Alice had predicted it. They landed a few hundred feet away from us, on a large patch of grass, surrounded by bushes. Two paramedics came and carefully put the boy's body on a stretcher and took him away to the helicopter, the kid's friends following closely. They made sure to thank me, their young minds trying to balance my benevolence with the bizarre timing of everything. One day this would only be a memory they would shrug off.

" _He'll recover in a few weeks. I've seen it._ "

Alice made sure to show me an image of the boy, opening his eyes in a clean white room, as she got out from her cover. Seeing her again, in all her four feet and ten inches glory, brought out a much needed repose. I rushed to her, taking her in my arms and rotating her body in the air as I hugged her tightly.

"Have I told you how much I've missed you?" I asked when I let her back down, tousling her hair with one hand.

"Twice now! Of course you missed me."

" _You know I've missed you too_ ," she added in her mind.

She arranged her hair back in position, complaining mentally about me ruining her hairstyle.

"Tell me how Bella is," I pleaded.

"She was a little agitated when she came back. Jasper - actually no, Nell calmed her down."

"I don't know how she did it, honestly. Running away and not coming back..."

Alice rolled her eyes.

" _It's been over two months since that night. She's learned a thing or two about control._ "

"Two months aren't that long."

"Give her some credit, Edward."

She walked around until she found an overturned log. Sitting down, she invited me to join her.

"Giving credit to a newborn when it comes to control is a tough thing, as I've found out," I uttered, sitting down on the other side of the log.

" _You can't hold her in a leash, you know?_ "

"I would never and you know this. This is temporary, to keep her safe."

"Make sure she knows that every once in a while."

Alice didn't seem to be as invested in the conversation and I searched her mind to understand why. And there it was, the delicate contour of a thought; she wanted to show me something - or, at the very least, she was debating whether to do it or not. The months we had spent separated didn't make her any less capable of being able to conceal bits and pieces of her mind, but there was always a crack in her defenses.

"Well, what is it that you wanted to show me?" I queried - she was well used to my bluntness.

"Oh, you know… I've just seen some things right as I was coming here."

The edge in her voice was sharp.

"What things?"

"Snippets of the future… but they were pretty clear, so I don't even know."

"Okay, then show me."

" _You won't like what I've seen, Edward."_

"Fine, consider me warned."

Alice's eyes got lost in the distance, avoiding me. She knew I wasn't one to prefer being let down easy, but something within her was still a little wary of letting me in on what she had seen.

Still pondering over this little conflict, she began to replay her visions for me.

The first one began simply enough: an image of me, walking through a grey stone antechamber. I couldn't see my face, only my back, covered in a long robe, as I entered a much bigger room. The new room was perfectly round and reminded me of a castle turret. Long window slits were filtering the light in a rainbow spectacle in the air. Aligning the stone walls were several wooden throne-like chairs - three of them more imposing than the rest. But all the chairs were empty.

Stepping further into the room and into Alice's vision, I could now see why nobody was sitting down. Everyone was on the floor, a tangle of limbs and black capes. Underneath this mess, I could see blood and I could hear groans. A single face lifted up from the tangle and I recognized it from Carlisle's paintings: his long, pitch-black hair was tucked behind his ears and he smiled a bloody smile.

"Edward, dear, now you're just in time, we've barely started!" Aro welcomed me.

"I'd hunted in Sesano, when you sent me there with Jane and Alec," I said. "I am not hungry."

"Always refusing my feasts, young friend. You and your sister are incorrigible."

The future version of myself turned away, seemingly ready to head back to the stone antechamber.

"You'll come around one day," Aro added, before resuming to drain the one of the many corpses underneath him.

This image ended abruptly, sending me back to the present, on the log in the woods. My mouth fell open, as I took in what I had just seen: the horror, the atrocity, the impossibility of it all.

"Wait, before you say anything, there's more," Alice whispered.

She pulled me right back in with another visual she had seen that day, just as I was ready to protest out loud. I was in another room now: made of stone as well, with a large bed and no windows whatsoever. On the wall, a calendar was showing the date: June 20th, three years from now. My birthday.

The door opened and I could see me and Bella entering the room, closing the door behind us with a key. I was still wearing the dark robe from the previous vision, only this time I could see the golden 'V' adorning its front. Bella was dressed in what seemed to be months-old clothing, judging by the crumpled fabrics and the rips within them. I noticed in passing that we both had dark eyes, verging on black, gloomy shadows adorning the white skin underneath them. It was clear that neither of us had hunted in a long while. Before I could see anything more, we were already kissing with fervour.

"I missed you so much, you don't even know," Bella muttered between breaths.

"I missed you more… I'm going crazier each day without you here."

I watched as Bella and I fell into the large bed, grasping at each other with a rapacity that seemed completely animalistic - if not downright insane - from the outside.

"Tell me we've got more time this time, please," she gasped.

"We have the whole day. You know they make exceptions for birthdays."

She rolled over, until she had me underneath her.

"Can we ask for more? At least three days? I cannot wait until Christmas... not again, I feel completely lifeless out there without you..."

"I know, I know, my love… my angeI… I am the same. But they'll make a scene again if we ask and I don't want you once again to get hur-"

The vision ended, snapping me back to reality with the brusque transition.

"What _the hell_ was that?" my voice came in an uncontrollable growl.

"A possibility," Alice answered in an even tone.

"There is no way in hell that happens."

Alice's hand found its way to my shoulder, patting me gently. I accepted the sympathetic touch, but it wasn't consolation that I needed that moment.

" _We can't be sure right now. Things are changing too fast._ "

"Alice, we are _not_ joining the Volturi. That is not my future. Nor Bella's. Do you understand me?"

"It's not like I want it any more than you do," she snickered.

I shook my head in disbelief. An existence in which Bella and I could only see each other a few times a year, for extremely limited amounts of time, seemed like the worst kind of Purgatory. Where would that take either of us? According to what I had just seen, we would become mere shadows of who we were now - unfed, unkept, solitary shadows. Vampires could not, for all intents and purposes, become insane. But I was willing to bet I would become the exception if Bella and I would ever be forced to part ways.

" _Jasper is everything to me. I wouldn't risk his life just to stay away from the Volturi. I'd be crazy to do that._ "

"I know you wouldn't. Neither of us would and that's what scares me right now. But to live like that, like what you've shown me..."

"It's still better than having them dead, don't you think?"

"Obviously."

The death scenario was worse than Purgatory: it was Hell itself. A Hell from which I would escape very easily by finding someone merciful enough to kill me. But I couldn't accept living in any of these realities.

"That's not everything, though," Alice added with a careful infliction in her voice.

"What other options do we have?"

" _It's something I didn't expect. Don't freak out too much. I'll show you._ "

She let her thoughts go, replacing them with another vision she had had. This time, there were no more stone walls around. There was a deserted beach, the champagne-coloured sand almost sparkling in the pale light of the full moon above. There was no awful beast in sight, despite the full moon. Some future version of myself was lying lazily on the sand, looking in the distance with a smile on my face. In front of me, I could see Bella and Nellie: they were running, playing, laughing.

With a slight blur, the vision jumped forward a bit, now showing Bella and Nellie coming up to me, still laughing.

"We're going swimming to see if we can catch a shark," Nellie announced, grinning. "Come with us!"

"Maybe another night, kid. I might go in and compose something, I feel inspired."

The girl rolled her eyes, while Bella threw me a look I could not decipher.

"Always with that damned piano, old man," Nellie said, smiling sprightly.

"You know me well by now, little one."

 _Little one?_ That was how Carlisle called Alice. I froze in place.

Bella threw her arm around the kid's shoulders and, surprisingly, Nell responded to this by circling Bella's waist with her own arm. It seemed as if they had done this countless times before, as if this was a habit.

"Alice," I uttered. "What exactly are you showing me?"

"You tell me."

The vision in her head dissipated slowly, with Bella and Nellie walking towards the sea and future me smiling in the sand. I had not noticed my hands were closed into fists until I looked down at them.

" _Maybe you are more like Carlisle than you're giving yourself credit for._ "

I stood up, unable to shake the odd feeling the images I had seen left me with. While this version of the future seemed to be Volturi-free, it still felt strange and unfathomable. Where was the future with Bella and the rest of our family together, somewhere safe? That was the only thing I needed.

"I am _not_ anyone's father," I said, stressing every word.

"Biological father? Most certainly not."

"Biological, adoptive, step - call it whatever you want, but I am absolutely not some father figure to anyone. Nor do I want to be."

" _You seemed pretty happy in that vision though_..."

"It's some warped vision, you've had those before."

"Possibly. With everything going on, it might as well be. But it was better than the other two. And even you cannot deny that."

"Of course it's better than being separated from my wife. But I don't need _that_ kind of family with her. I've long accepted we cannot have that."

"I think you're overreacting right now," she sighed.

"For God's sake, Alice, I am not a father and have no interest in being one!"

" _It's your decision too, so stop acting out. It won't happen if you're clearly so against the idea. You know how this works just as well as I do._ "

"I also know it is often more complex than that."

This couldn't happen. It wasn't what I wanted. My wish was simple: to be with Bella and our family, despite all the odds being stacked against us. There was no place for a moody kid in that plan.

I _tolerated_ Nell. I even liked her a bit. She was a kid with a painful past and with a special gift to compensate for that. She had helped me and Bella tremendously with the werewolf - and she was willing to do it again, since team work seemed to be the key when dealing with the beast. But beyond this point, our paths had to separate at some point. It was only logical.

I knew Bella liked her as well, possibly more than I did. But I also knew she had never truly wanted kids. This had been her core argument for all the times I had told her I would not be able to give her this human experience, if she would ever change her mind. Did we have to have this discussion again?

The last time we had truly discussed this in depth, she was still human. We were a week away from our wedding, tucked under the blankets in her room and entangled in a close embrace. That night, I had decided to hit pause on our honeymoon practice. Her period had come that day and she had been having cramps on and off. By the time we ended up in her bed, she insisted she felt better, but I was convinced she was bluffing.

"Stupid period," she mumbled. "I wish I never had it."

"Most women your age are very much grateful for theirs, at the end of the day."

"Because they have a reason to be happy when it comes on time."

"I wish you had too, my love."

She sighed deeply, pressing her palm on her forehead.

"Not this again..."

"It is worth being reminded of this reality."

"No, it is not. I am marrying _you_ , Edward. Which means that I know what I am giving up - although it really doesn't feel like giving up anything."

"Not right now. But five years down the line? Ten years? Twenty?"

"I don't need that level of responsibility, honestly. I've felt like a parent for so much of my life with my mother… and don't get me wrong, I didn't really mind, because I love her. But I just need to know I have only myself to take care of from now on. And I need to know I have all the time in the world for you and only you, no one else."

The last part was full of warm promises, but I didn't let that distract me.

"We can wait a few years, Bella… find a good donor if you change your mind and-"

"No! What? No!"

"It's an option."

"For you maybe. If I were to change my mind someday and have anyone's kids, I would've had yours, if that was a possibility. But otherwise, I am not interested, thank you."

"Your voice is trembling", I chuckled, pressing my palms against her heated cheeks.

"Only because you're out here making the craziest assumptions and proposals. I know what I want, Edward - and at this point, I expect you to know too."

She had sounded so confident that night. Our discussion had stretched far past midnight and I believed her completely by the time we were finished. The subject never really came up again - at least not as a serious matter that needed to be dealt with.

"Listen, silly, you're worrying too much, as usual," my sister said, dragging me away from my memories. "Neither of these things have to happen, you know? They're just worth keeping in mind, if you want to avoid choices that would lead to them."

Alice stood up from the log as well, coming to face me. Her eyes were perfectly golden and as warm as ever - it felt so strange to finally see these eyes again in front of me. Surreal almost, as if she could disappear any moment if I made a mistake and blinked.

"I want things back to how they were, Alice," I admitted. "I'm tired of running and not knowing what comes next."

" _You know I want that too. It's been so stressful… and Jazz had to handle double the amount of stress because of that. I want some peace for him._ "

"I owe you two and the rest of our family everything," I said.

"You don't owe us anything."

"But I do, because all this change wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me."

"No one is judging anyone for anything. This is not how we work. Do you think we would have lasted half as long together if we would have held grudges whenever one of us did something wrong that forced us to move?"

She was being too gracious - all of our misdeeds, as terrible as they had been, had been handled relatively easily, since there had never been any witnesses.

"Think about it this way," she added. "Would you have hated me terribly if I did this?"

I laughed at the impossibility of ever hating Alice.

"Of course not. I would've felt sad, but not angry… and especially not hateful."

" _Then why would you ever think anyone of us would feel any different when it comes to you or Bella?"_

She smiled the warmest smile, reminding me exactly why she was my favourite sibling.

"Thank you, Alice."

"Anytime! Now what do you say about heading back? In a couple of hours we might have to leave anyway."

" _You know it won't take the Volturi long to set the rest of their plan in motion, now that Elijah has talked_ ," she added in her mind.

"I know, I just wonder where our next stop will be."

"We'll know as soon as Demetri and the rest set off. Until then, Bella has to train, so you two are not running off again."

She raised her nose high, confronting our previous mischief.

"That wasn't why we ran," I managed to say.

I was, in fact, telling the truth. The fact that Bella and I had simply got too overwhelmed with the wonder of me being able to hear her mind for way longer than just a few seconds was an entirely different story, of course.

"Not my point!" Alice said. "It'll have to wait. Now come on, let's go."

And later on that day, while my wife was making serious progress with her shield and she turned to meet my gaze, smiling, I realized one thing: as long as the end of the day still found us together, I didn't mind the waiting at all.

* * *

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	22. Longing

I was grateful Bella's shield was getting progressively better - this way, while under her protection, I had plenty of time to find ways to avoid Nellie's stolen mind-reading gift for all the times the shield snapped back. The last thing I wanted was having the kid staring inside my mind, only to be welcomed by the anxiety that Alice's vision had planted inside.

Nellie had also seen that vision, I had no doubt about it. The difference between me and her was that she had not given it much thought. She had treated it like she treated most things that came at her: with a shrug. A part of me longed for this level of nonchalance that I knew I could never achieve. In a way, it reminded me of Emmett - she and him would get along just fine, if they would ever meet.

The day after Alice and I had returned to the inn, a vision of Demetri leaving Volterra hit her with full force. He was not coming alone: Aro, Jane and Alec were on their way as well. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they were expecting to find us quickly, now that the stakes were higher and now that they had Demetri.

However, things weren't going to be as easy for them. Demetri and the rest of the guard had never met me or Alice personally. He needed to have been exposed to our minds at least once in order to begin his tracking. But without having this advantage, he had to find someone who had met us in the past and follow our trail from that person's mind; this was buying us time, of course, but not too much. With Carlisle's friends - many of which we had met - spread all over the world, it was only a matter of time before he encountered someone. Their first stop was Ireland, where Siobhan and her coven lived.

We decided to move anyway, not wanting to get too comfortable too soon.

Our next destination was the labyrinth of wide valleys of Dolpa, in Nepal. Far from being over-populated, Dolpa was a good break from the populous Taipei. We would remain in the mountains, where Alice had seen us finding a cabin far enough from civilization - not that it made much of a difference now, knowing that our stay was going to be temporary. But if I could remove any potentially dangerous temptation from Bella's life, I was going to do it.

On our way to the airport, my wife managed to cover both me and Jasper under her shield for several minutes at a time, again and again, allowing us to be fully ourselves again - she couldn't hold it long when she was also having an in-depth discussion with anyone of us, so she resigned herself to small-talk for the sake of training.

Of course, having me and Jasper under her shield left Alice completely exposed again. Nell automatically absorbed her power, leaving both of them shaken. While the kid had not had a particularly interesting vision - just a visual of her hunting down a man to drink from in Dolpa - the force of it had taken her aback. I knew perfectly well how immersive Alice's visions could be, having been witness to them far more times than I could count.

But my sister was not having this power switch. She wanted to be in control of the possibilities the future held, so she urged Bella to try extending her protection further. That only seemed to weaken the shield - now everyone's powers seemed to be fuzzy, reduced to a haze almost.

Throughout all this, I could not help but wonder how she was feeling - if this challenge wasn't too much for her.

"Bella, love, you know you can take a break whenever you feel like it," I told her, as we were waiting in the airport terminal to receive clearance for take off.

"I know, but I don't want to. I need this to become second nature, just like it is for all of you."

"It's just I don't want you to push yourself over the limit, that's all."

"She'll stop when she wants to, Edward, stop coddling her," Alice admonished me.

I kept her hand in mine while we waited, trying to keep my worrying under control. While I traced her palm with my thumb, I couldn't help but feel electricity surging between us; delicate at first, then more fiery as the seconds passed by. Alice had made sure, just as she promised, that Bella would train for as long as possible. That, of course, came with the price of not getting to be as close to her as I longed to be.

The thoughts of those around me were clear enough, which meant that Bella's shield was working effectively, so I allowed my imagination to wander a bit. It wasn't like I couldn't wait, really - with almost a century of effortless abstinence behind me, I should have had enough discipline for this. It was just that the waiting could get so emotionally and physically painful now, especially when the source of all my desires was sitting right next to me.

I hadn't had a chance for a release ever since Bella and I started making love on the forest floor in Taipei, before we smelled the blood and stopped. Back at the inn, I resigned myself to simply holding her as closely as possible against my chest while she was practicing. Sometimes, when the others weren't really paying attention, my lips found the side of her neck and kissed her there, full of yearning, barely grazing the skin with my teeth.

A thought that hadn't really managed to let me have my peace was the knowledge that Bella's luggage now contained plenty of lingerie sets, courtesy of Alice. The last time I had seen my wife wearing such a thing was back in Port Angeles, when we tried - and failed - to watch "Forrest Gump". I could still remember my shock when I discovered her stockings had been set in place with a garter belt. The memory of her riding me in her lingerie for two hours straight, right until the movie ended, was setting every part of me aflame.

I found myself having to adjust my erection as I was pondering over the events of that day- that day that seemed to be so far behind us now, even though not that much time had passed. Back then, my only worries were how to spend as much time as possible with her - specifically, how to enjoy her fully and without limits, knowing that I could no longer break her by accident.

Bella's hand trembled ever so slightly in mine when I pressed my fingernail deep in the flesh of her palm. She looked up at me and I knew that particular gaze very well. She wanted me too.

"How far is the nearest bathroom?" she whispered.

Every fibre in my body became overwhelmed with need at her hidden invitation.

"Less than three hundred feet from here," I answered immediately.

"Can we..."

She didn't finish her question, but it wasn't hard to guess what she was implying. But before I could say something to her, Alice's thoughts collided with mine, showing me a flash of a vision she just had: Bella and I, walking out of a bathroom booth, our clothes crumpled, and a man from security escorting us out.

" _You'll get caught in less than ten minutes. Keep it in your pants a little longer, you're not Emmett._ "

My sister's mental voice scolded me and I growled. But she was right: I was not Emmett. I was currently much, much worse than him.

"Probably not the best idea," I told Bella, reaching out to kiss the top of her head. The scent was intoxicating.

"That's too bad," she mumbled.

"Don't worry, beautiful, I'll find something."

Unfortunately, that something couldn't include her coming into the cockpit of the plane and having her way with me, as long as we were not alone on board.

While we waited in the airport, Bella called her father, to let him know everything was all right. He sounded tired when he answered and it wasn't hard to understand why: two crimes in the span of two months in a city as small as Forks could mess everything up for the policemen who were used to dealing with illicit drug use at worst.

It was nighttime in Forks and he wasn't feeling particularly chatty - not even inquisitive, as usual. But right as Bella was getting ready to say her goodbyes, he asked:

"So are you at least coming home this Thanksgiving?"

"Dad, it's still September."

"Just checking, Bells. I would love to have you here then."

"Is Jacob going to be there again?"

The mention of his name made me cringe - maybe not the name itself, but rather the memory of last Thanksgiving, when Charlie had us spend that day with him, Billy Black and his son. Jacob's crush on Bella had reached new heights at that point, despite neither of them keeping in touch with each other. His childish passion had only been heightened by his transformation. That was why I had made sure - in a way that couldn't exactly be considered gentlemanly, when looking back - that Jacob knew Bella had made her choice at that point.

"I'm not sure he will be. He's going out a lot with this girl from the reservation. It's pretty serious."

"Well… we'll see if Edward can take a few days off from the University," she lied.

"I hope you can make the time, I miss you."

His silent hopefulness crushed me. If only he knew we would never be able to come back to Forks ever again.

"Miss you too, dad."

After Bella hung up, I held her in my arms for a while. She didn't seem as upset as I expected her to be. Something else was now on her mind, as her eyes wandered in the distance, and it hurt me not knowing what was bothering her.

Not long after, we were on board of our private jet, taking off above the mist of the morning. In the back, I could hear the relaxing clamour of voices: both mental and spoken. Every once in a while, the thoughts stopped, when Bella lost control of her power - but somehow, someway, she made them come back each time.

Everyone felt more at ease once we were up in the sky. Up here, not many dangers awaited for us. It was easy to get used to this: Bella accusing Alice of cheating while they were playing Hearts, Alice telling her she couldn't help it, Jasper taking his wife's side as always, and Nellie taking Bella's.

It was easier to ignore Alice's vision when all of us were together. At the end of the day, Nellie was here only as a back-up in the werewolf fight, in case we would still be on the run by the time the next full moon would rise.

 _Just back-up_. Nothing more, nothing less.

And we had to be friendly with the back-up, it was only logical.

I heard footsteps approaching and the mental voice coming closer alerted me it was Nellie - speaking of the wolf and all that. I reached to open the door before she got the chance to knock.

"Thanks for letting me in," she said.

" _Fuck, this is awkward._ "

"So your foul language extends to your mind as well," I noticed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You act all high and mighty, but I've heard the weird shit you said when… well, I'm not going to say it."

" _Good job for making it more awkward._ "

I closed my eyes shut for a second. Of course she had heard me and Bella two nights ago, in the inn. With all my efforts to hide her moans with my belt, plenty of other sounds remained: such as my desire unleashed in all sorts of obscene words.

Vampire hearing could surely be a curse sometimes.

"That's different," I managed embarrassingly, before deciding it was a discussion not worth continuing, since it was only getting more mortifying for both of us the longer we stretched it out. "So anyway, what happened?"

"I just don't enjoy playing Hearts with cheaters, man."

The offense in her tone made me laugh.

"You would hate playing that with me then."

"Oh, I don't doubt it."

She made herself comfortable in the seat next to me, the one where a co-pilot would normally sit.

" _It's so quiet up here. And peaceful. I like it._ "

"It's something else," I admitted, taking my time to appreciate what was in front of me.

We were way above the clouds, the sun penetrating through the windshield and reflecting off our skin in an array of iridescent colours. It felt liberating, knowing that we didn't have to hide here.

"When did you learn how to fly planes?" she asked.

"Way before you were even born. In the '60s."

"And why did you do it?"

" _It sure comes in handy now, but it's not like waking up one day and deciding that you want to learn how to play tennis._ "

"I play tennis too," I grinned. "But flying… I don't know, I suppose I was curious. I had loads of free time back then, with not much to do. It happened right after graduation, actually."

"Seems fair, I guess."

"My family and I were living in New Orleans in the '60s. Many young men dreamed of becoming pilots and whatnot back then."

"But you never became a pilot - I mean you never had that as your actual job, right?"

"Not really," I admitted. "I just did it for fun and for the sake of learning something new."

" _That seems like an easy way of living. No worries, no job…_ "

"You're right, it was'', I responded to her thoughts. "Carlisle has always been the one with the job in our family. The rest of us played along as high school students, it made things easier, since the younger we started in a place, the longer we could stay in that place."

"But you never got bored of this routine?" Nellie asked.

"It does become tedious, yes. This is what universities are for."

"But you never get past that."

"Well, I was supposed to get my first job this year, actually."

"Oh, that's right, you were planning to go to Cardiff."

I nodded, making an effort to not get caught up in the tempation of asking myself 'what if?'. It would serve me no good to dwell on what could have been. I almost didn't notice the sounds of Nell's mind disappearing. Listening closely, I heard Bella growling at Alice, telling her this was the last time she played Hearts with her if she didn't stop monitoring her moves. Once the spirits calmed down, her shield was back up again, along with my special hearing.

"You're sad," Nellie uttered.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know, it's just… you look as if you are ready to jump off a cliff ever since yesterday."

"Far from it."

" _And I know you're avoiding me."_

"Am I?"

"You don't have to ask me that, you know best."

I remained silent for a few moments, reminiscing the past twenty-four hours and trying to guess if she was, in fact, right. If I had to be honest, I had to admit I had not been at my friendliest with her.

"I've had a lot on my mind, kid, that's all. Nothing personal."

"Okay, that's bullshit."

"I beg your pardon?"

I moved my eyes in her direction, just to be welcomed by a condescending smile.

"Bella's shield hasn't been up non-stop, so I know you've been freaking out over what your sister saw," she replied. "It's a little funny, to be frank with you."

I got back to focusing on the great azure nothingness in front of us, wishing to melt into it.

"It's just a silly vision, why would I freak out over it?"

"You tell me."

Denial didn't seem to work as well as I had hoped. For the past few hours, I had tried to remove completely from my mind the fact that I ever had such a strong reaction to what Alice had seen. And for the most part, it worked.

Until I got called out, of course.

"Nellie, I'm sure you've got better things to do than having this conversation with me."

"Not right now, no."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

" _I don't want to hear anything in particular. Just to settle things. I can't handle more awkwardness._ "

I was perfectly content with keeping things awkward, if that was what it took to not admit to having had a fit.

"Okay, I'll start," she offered. "I hate authority. Hate it, can't stand it. I'm sure you can understand the layers of 'why'. Anyway, I like doing my own thing. So I'm not exactly looking forward to having parental figures hovering over me."

"Good," was all I said.

"Also, I know the circumstances that brought us together - and I know they are extremely temporary."

" _I mean I hope. I don't know. I want to get rid of the mongrel more than anything._ "

"Which means I am aware that neither of us is here for the long run," she added.

There was nothing of value I felt I could add, so I resigned myself to looking forward.

"Bottom line is, it's kind of dumb to get so worked up over this, if you ask me."

"I haven't asked," I pointed out. "And let me tell you this, Nellie: you don't fully understand how Alice's visions work sometimes."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, I don't need to understand that to know that I don't plan on calling you 'daddy' any time soon. Or ever, for what it's worth. So why can't we act normal, not like there is some impending doom awaiting?"

She shivered with disgust, her mind echoing her gesture perfectly.

"That's a comforting thought," I admitted. "Glad to know we're on the same page with this."

"You can say that again."

I threw her a quick look - she was smiling now, looking more relieved than when she had stepped in.

"Good, now that _that_ is out of the way, why don't you show me how you fly this damned thing?"

"You don't want to head back to the others?" I checked.

" _Oh, that wasn't an excuse. I really hate playing with cheaters. Besides, I've always been curious._ "

"It's not as easy as it seems," I warned.

"Oh, please - if you can do it, old man, it can't be that hard," she teased in return.

I rolled my eyes at her, no longer subdued by the uncomfortable tension, before saying:

"Fine, let's start with the basics."

* * *

In retrospect, there had to be a better way to teach someone how to fly other than starting the first lesson in mid-air.

Nellie had done all right for a while. We were twenty minutes away from Dolpa when she accidentally disengaged the autopilot's control of the ailerons. The plane started to stall almost immediately as a result. While I managed to level the aircraft - not without effort, given that we had already started the landing procedures and I didn't have that much altitude to work with - the damage had already been done, and I had to do an emergency landing.

The plane's landing gear had been completely destroyed in the process, which meant that the aircraft was in some serious need of repairing. We had to bribe the emergency staff at the airport to let us go without a medical examination.

After Alice called me every name in the book for being an irresponsible pilot and after I apologized a dozen of times, we finally came to an agreement. She, Jasper and Nellie would head to the mountains to find the cabin in her vision, while Bella and I would remain in the airport to take care of the damage.

" _You know she can come with us, right?_ " Alice threw daggers at me.

I responded with a simple nod.

" _She's not an impulsive mess anymore, you can see it as well._ "

Another nod, this time signaling 'yes'.

" _All that talk about giving her some credit and here you go_."

"I want her near me," I responded and there was no room for further arguments in my tone.

"Call us when you're done," Jasper told us, as we parted ways. He was making real efforts to dissipate the conflict in the air. "And good luck, Bella."

"Thanks."

The maintenance center in the airport had just opened, minutes before the sun began to rise in the sky. We were well-covered with hoodies and sunglasses, looking down and keeping our hands in our pockets, when a few men came to assess the damage of the jet. Soon after, they sent a special truck to lift the plane off the runway and send it to the center, as well as a car to transport us there. Once we arrived, we found out the reparations would set us back a few thousand dollars and three days of staying in this place.

I paid half-heartedly, thinking if we could afford to stay three days there, while Bella was breathing slowly next to me. The air inside the maintenance center was warm and drizzling with the hot scent of human blood. But my wife had not tensed up. She was as calm as ever. Still, I felt the need to tell her:

"We'll be out of here soon."

"It's fine, I can wait."

Thankfully, she didn't have to wait for long. Fifteen minutes later, I was renting a car, while Bella was obtaining the coordinates Jasper was offering her over the phone. I only stopped feeling on edge once we were inside our rented Toyota Avalon with tinted windows.

"I'm sorry for all this, love," I told her, while I introduced the coordinates Jasper had given her in the GPS.

"I think you've said 'sorry' plenty of times today, maybe it's time to take a break," she offered lovingly.

"Maybe you're right."

As I started the engine, she reached over to turn on the radio. Some unknown songs sung in Nepali started playing, filling the silence for a while, until she decided to speak:

"So I heard that discussion you and Nellie had."

"I'm sure you did."

"It was rather interesting."

"Not the word I'd use, but go on."

"You're fun when you're freaking out, I must admit."

"I'm glad my turmoil is amusing for at least one of us."

She giggled, before replying:

"You hadn't told me about that vision though."

"Because it felt pointless, my love."

She slipped two fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at her.

"It couldn't have been that pointless, if it stirred such a reaction from you."

"I might have overreacted," I admitted, subdued by the force she held in her gaze. "It's just that I cannot see myself in that position, Bella. I am happy with us the way we are."

"I am too."

"But?"

"There is no 'but'."

"Of course there is. But you want Nellie to stick around? Adopt her one day? Is that it?"

"I don't want to adopt anyone," she mumbled, letting go of my chin, so that I could focus on the road. "But I wouldn't mind if she stuck around either, she's a great kid."

"She is, but that still doesn't awaken my paternal instincts - especially not in the midst of the chaos we're in."

"Why do you keep pushing this narrative?"

"Because, it's what Alice had seen, for God's sake!"

My voice raised a little and I regretted it immediately. I took her hand in mine and squeezed it softly, apologizing.

"Look, the point is, Bella, that I don't want to be responsible for anyone else's well-being other than yours. And I don't want to spend time that I could otherwise spend alone with you taking care of Nellie. I don't even know how to do that."

"Nellie isn't exactly the type to be taken care of. She's not some helpless child."

"This is true. But it doesn't change the fact that at my very core, I am a selfish creature, which means that I don't want to share you with anyone. If it weren't for my thirst, I'd be happy to isolate myself on a mountain with you and spend the rest of eternity with you there."

"I know some people who wouldn't be too keen on that scenario."

"I know them too. And I love them, so there goes my selfish scenario."

She smiled, just barely.

"Nothing is set in stone," Bella said after a while. "So let's just take it one day at a time and see where that leads us."

"One day at a time is the only certainty we've got right now."

Leaving it at that, I kept driving. The Nepalese autumn was a sight to behold: the sal trees on the side of the road were covered in rusty undertones, their crowns coming together in bouquet-like formations. The sky was blue, barren of any clouds, reminding me just how much I missed this part of being human: getting to enjoy a sunny day properly.

I indulged in this small joy, driving on a sunny day, with Bella next to me. It wasn't much, but I cherished every little thing I could, not knowing how much time we still had. In a practical sense, we couldn't remain on the run forever. But at the same time, I couldn't imagine not being with her if we got caught. As much as the Nellie vision had haunted me, the vision of me and Bella meeting in Volterra for my birthday was a million times worse. The outspoken desperation I had seen in it was something I never wanted to experience in my life.

To soothe the painful memory, I started humming her lullaby. She turned down the volume on the radio, and I caught a glimpse of her smile when she did so.

"Do you want to visit this place properly someday?" I asked.

 _If we ever come out of this alive and together, that is_.

"Oh, yes, without a doubt."

"Where else would you want us to go?"

"Back to Isle Esme."

"That goes without saying, angel, but I was thinking of something new."

"Anywhere in Europe, really - oh, especially that place where they filmed 'Wuthering Heights', what is it called?"

"Depends on which version we're talking about," I answered.

"The one with Juliette Binoche."

"That might be around Malham, in England, if my memory serves me right."

"I don't know, we'll have to check."

"Anywhere else?" I asked.

"I've been curious about the coastal cities of South Africa ever since my mom took a trip there years ago when I was visiting Charlie and told me it was life-changing."

"Never been there myself. Sounds fantastic."

"It must be."

"Where else?"

"A lighthouse."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised.

"A lighthouse?"

"Yes, I think they're fascinating."

"Does the fact that you've watched 'Shutter Island' three times have anything to do with this?"

"Maybe a little bit?" she grinned. "I don't know, I just want to watch the sunrise from one someday."

"Noted."

We kept talking about all these places we never knew if we would ever get to see, making an itinerary for this most uncertain trip with the same enthusiasm I had noticed in human teenagers when they were planning their first vacations without their parents. It was good to have something to look forward to - it kept hope alive, even in dire times.

"This trip would take months at best," she observed.

"I don't see anything wrong with that. More time alone with you sounds like an absolute win to me. It's all I've ever wanted - all I'll ever want, in fact."

Bella bit her lip and I found myself being nostalgic over the lack of blushing in her cheeks.

"One day at a time," she reminded me, leaning over her seat to press her lips in the corner of my mouth.

I turned to meet her kiss fully, surprised by the sudden hunger I found there. As soon as I turned, her mouth opened and she attacked me with her tongue, a soft moan rolling from her throat and getting lost inside our kiss. I had to break away despite my will, to focus on the incoming curb.

"I don't think we need a car crash on top of the emergency landing," I told her.

"Then stop the car, Edward."

I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She mimicked my expression in return, provoking me. With the way I had been craving her all day, I didn't need any more incentives.

Seeing a cluster of trees further down the road, that opened the way to a trail through the forest, I took a right through the small space between them and went as far as the woods allowed me to.

"Happy?"

"Very," she approved when I stopped the engine.

"Is this payback for the airport?"

"For the airport, for how I ran… I don't know what Alice has in mind, but if I go even one more hour without you inside me, I might just explode."

I smiled, as I leaned to push her seat back.

"I wouldn't want you to explode," I said, making my way on top of her in the small space. Damn, this car was not made for this, but I didn't care.

"You're joking now, but this has been on my mind constantly."

I slid my hands underneath her hoodie, finding her soft breasts awaiting my touch, no bra in sight.

"Mmmmm, I know, Bella. I could smell your arousal perfectly."

I pinched her nipples, one by one, squeezing the most delicious moans out of her.

"It only made me harder to know that you were so wet and ready for me and I couldn't do anything about it," my voice came out in a purr.

"Touch me now," she begged softly.

She didn't have to ask twice, for her wish was also my command. I pulled down her pants, rolling them off her hips along with her underwear. I stroked the inside of her thigh for a short moment, before moving where she wanted me. My fingers grazed her slit and I discovered she was ridiculously wet, as if we had been going at it for hours.

It was impossible to sway my groan at the discovery of this miracle.

"God, Bella, it's like a small ocean down here..."

I moved my fingers aimlessly, just basking in her copious sap, spreading it from her delicate folds to the hood of her clitoris and back.

"It's your doing," she gasped. "It's always your doing."

"I love this."

To prove my words, I inserted two fingers inside her. She squeaked and wriggled with delight at the intrusion.

"More, Edward..."

I pushed as far as I could, pressing against her sensitive spot inside along the way. Her walls clamped down on my fingers and she cried out loud, making me grow harder still.

"Let me make you come like this first," I said, my hand moving with more resolve inside her, up and down, hard and fast. "Come on, I know you're close..."

I felt her hands pulling my hair with full force, and in the next second she was already gone. I smiled, pleased at how easy it had been. The liquids of her orgasm dripped into my palm, while she called out my name, getting lost in a place where only I could take her.

When her trembling subsided, I removed my hand and licked my index finger clean. This had to be the most exquisite taste on the planet: sweet, carnal, rapturous to the extreme. She watched me with dark eyes as I was savouring her taste unashamedly. Impulsively, I put the other finger, still wet from her orgasm, on her lower lip.

"Open up," I told her.

She indulged my wish, her lips parting to take my finger in. She sucked hard, going all the way to my knuckle, once she had my finger inside.

"See how good you taste, Bella? Nothing compares to you."

With my finger still in my mouth, she freed me from my jeans and guided me to her entrance. The little ocean of desire felt positively hot against my tip, and I pushed in. There was no need to go slow: she was more than ready for me. It felt as if weeks had gone by without being inside her, not a day; making the pleasure even more profuse. I slid deeper in her body, sighing at the faultless sensation of our connection and abandoning myself to her.

One hour later, we were far from being sated. We had barely warmed up, in fact, but we had to go. Bella was pressed with her chest against the passenger seat, breathing hard as I was trying to clean up my venom from between her legs with a tissue.

"We've made a big mess here, my love," I murmured, seeing that the venom had dripped on the leather seats of the car as well - and for whatever reason on the windshield.

"Worth it," she replied.

I grabbed another tissue, to clean up the seat, then the tinted glass.

"Can we stay longer?"

"I wish we could, but Alice is probably going crazy as we speak."

"But I am not done, Edward!" she complained with the most whiny voice in her repertoire.

"Of course you're not, my little nympho," I teased, smacking her ass lightly. "You're never done and that's one of the countless things I love about you. Turn around, you're all cleaned up now."

"Ah, as if you're any different," she muttered, while she pulled up her pants and repositioned in her seat. "You think you've got better at hiding your hard-ons since highschool, but I can tell every time."

"Oh, you can, can you?"

"You bet, nothing escapes my radar."

I laughed as I was getting back into my own seat and reached out to kiss her. I wondered when we would get the chance to have more time alone, since I was already craving to claim her again, even if I did nothing but that in the past hour.

As we drove away from the woods, a painful realization struck me: as much as I loved the sunny valleys of Dolpa, I would have given everything to be back in Forks.

Back to the predictable rain.

Back to the safe routine.

Back to the meadow.

Back to the days when time alone with Bella was not a luxury, but a given.

The sun above responded to my longing in the most cruel way possible: shining even brighter, as if to remind me that there was no home for me in these places.

* * *

**I am more than happy to read and respond to any thoughts you might have regarding this chapter or the story in general.**

**If you want to read more stuff, I've written a few fluffy sexy outtakes for this story that you might like (and there are more on the way).**

**Stay safe and happy, everyone!**


	23. Unleashing

This was both the best and the worst idea at the same time - but it was difficult to remind myself why it was the worst when I watched the tip of my shaft disappearing in Bella's mouth.

We were in the bedroom upstairs - me pressed against the door, Bella on her knees in front of me, swallowing every inch of my erection deep in her throat. My chest was vibrating, ready to erupt in a growl, but then I felt her nails digging in my hips and saw her looking up with reproachful eyes.

To stop the sound in its tracks, I grabbed a robe from the hanger next to us, crumpled its sleeve in my fist, and bit hard into the fabric, ripping it to shreds. Bella nodded approvingly, continuing her mission with fervour. There was no sight more erotic than her taking me in her mouth and forcing my length down her throat with unstoppable rapacity.

I felt her tongue moving along with her lips and I couldn't help myself from grabbing her hair in my fist and using it as leverage to get her to swallow me deeper. As I did this, I saw one of her hands disappearing from my hip and sliding down her jeans and between her legs. Suddenly, it became impossible to focus on anything else but the movement of that hand.

Even if she was covered by her jeans, it was all too easy to imagine the show beyond the curtain. The wet sounds of her fingers rubbing against her clitoris, combined with the feeling of being sucked with such fervour, were almost enough to make me come. Another sound, somehow even more deliciously insolent, alerted me that she had now inserted one of her fingers inside herself.

I almost collapsed then and there from the pleasure.

I needed to tell her to slide another finger in, and then another. I wanted to tell her how mouth-watering her arousal smelled and how I craved to please her with my own mouth, just to get a perfect taste. I burned to come in her mouth and then immediately fuck her on the king-size bed, until she exploded as well. Preferably for days on end.

" _It's official, you are, in fact, worse than Emmett and Rose. Who, by the way, have called to see how you are._ "

Alice's complaint pulled me up from the perfect haze I was in, reminding me in an instant why this was a bad idea. The thoughts from downstairs had been coming and going, with Bella's shield slipping easily now that she was more concentrated on pleasing me with her mouth than anything else.

"Love, everyone can hear us," I managed to say.

She let me out of her mouth, not impressed with the way her plan evolved.

"Well, now that we are using words, they can."

Bella stood up from her place, her eyes burning with the same fire as mine did. I took the hand with which she had pleased herself seconds ago and raised it up to the level of my face. Her index finger was coated in a thick layer of her own juices, tempting me. Without further consideration, I took that finger in my mouth. As soon as I did that, my taste buds went into a frenzy: the familiar taste of Bella always had this effect, making my erection throb painfully for release. I licked her finger clean before letting it go.

Once my mouth was free, she reached out to kiss me - although 'kiss' might have been too mild of a term for what she was doing. She was almost eating me alive, her mouth opening to heighten the connection. Our tongues soon found themselves in a ruthless battle, in which everyone was winning. The taste of me and the taste of her blended together and I could no longer care about anything and anyone but Bella.

Listening to my instincts, I grabbed her shoulders and made her turn around, with her face against the wall. I undid the buttons of her pants and rolled them off her hips, along with her underwear, revealing her round bottom. In other circumstances, I might have prolonged my perusal of her gorgeous buttocks, but not now. Grabbing her ass tightly in my palms, I pushed at her dripping wet entrance and slid inside her body all at once. I made a Herculean effort not to roar when I felt her walls squeezing me tightly. A sharp intake of air on Bella's part assured me that the bluntness that had seeped in my actions was more than welcome.

I had barely started to push when another thought of Alice made its way into my head:

" _Come on, now, there are kids in this house_."

I sighed, exasperated. I needed the release so badly and I hated the fact that I had to wait for it profusely. Bella gasped when I exited her body without warning and managed to mutter a 'get back in' under her breath when I turned around. On the TV table, I saw a small block of post-its and a pen. I rushed to grab them, closing my zipper as I darted across the room. I almost ripped the delicate paper when I started writing my note for her:

' _I am dying to fuck you, Bella. Plain and simple. In fact, I am sure you've got a good preview of how much I am aching to have you. But I can't do that with Alice bugging me from downstairs and everyone else hearing._ '

Bella was right behind me, pulling her jeans back up and reading as I wrote. Her breath caught up and she grabbed the pen from my hand, starting to write her own note on another post-it:

' _How do you expect me to go downstairs now knowing_ _that?_ '

I smiled, taking back the pen and responding:

' _Soaking wet, I hope._ '

"Well, you've succeeded there," she murmured.

"I'll take very good care of you, I promise," I murmured, leaving the post-it down and pulling her in for a kiss. I felt my taste lingering on her tongue and I burned to have her on her knees in front of me again. She pressed her body on me, my erection pushing shamelessly against her abdomen. "I will make sure to not leave an inch of you unsatisfied when we're able to be alone again."

Parting from her physically hurt, but it had to be done. I was ready to head to the door when she grabbed another post-it and began writing on it. When I looked over her shoulder to see what she had written, time froze in place. Only two words were written on the pale paper, yet they had had the effect of a nuclear bomb on me:

' _With ropes?_ '

She looked up at me with an innocence that had me spellbound. I wondered if she even understood what she was doing to me with those words.

"With absolutely anything you want, my Bella," I grunted, unable to resist this plea.

A little victorious smile lightened her mien and she disappeared from the room before I did. I followed her half-heartedly out the door, coming downstairs to the admonitory eyes of Alice, the understanding thoughts of Jasper and the disgusted expression of Nellie. Bella made herself comfortable on the sofa, next to the kid.

It had been almost two days since Bella and I had our little getaway in the rented car. What did they expect? I was glad Jasper understood - if only for the fact that his power allowed him to feel perfectly well how much anguish that brought me.

"So how's Emmett?" I asked, trying to ignore their gazes.

"He was ready to pack a bag and come here, when he heard that we were all together," Jasper answered.

"What? He didn't know you and Alice joined us?"

" _We tried to keep him out of the loop a little. You know how he gets,_ " Jasper's mind cleared things up.

"Em and Rose are safe, why would we bring this upon them?" Bella replied.

"He just doesn't like to know that he cannot help..."

"But Rose keeps him grounded," Alice pointed out.

"I'll make sure to call him later," I said. "Out of all the times he could suffer from fear of missing out, this is not it."

" _I think it's sweet he cares_ ," Nellie's thought came as a whisper to me, before fading into nothingness when Bella lost control of her shield again.

"Yes, do that, but we've got bigger problems than caressing Em's ego right now," Alice pointed out.

"Like what?" Bella asked.

"Like Demetri talking to Siobhan later on and getting Edward's trail from her mind. I had just seen him doing that a few minutes ago."

"That won't be enough though, she had only met me, not you, Alice," I said.

"I know, but they don't know that. Ireland was their closest bet in terms of finding someone who had met us, so that Demetri could have a full grasp of who he is searching for. They haven't decided their next stop."

"It won't be tough," Jasper offered. "You've met almost every friend of Carlisle's and the Volturi know full well that he has friends all throughout the world. They could take Demetri to Alaska, if they want to be sure."

He was right. Demetri had not been there when Aro, Jane, Alec and Felix went to search for us in Denali.

"They might just do that," Alice offered. "We'll have to wait and see."

" _Does that mean I get time to hunt?_ " Nell's thoughts came back, along with the thoughts of others, when Bella gained back control of her power. The back and forth of hearing voices was confusing enough for me, but I was willing to bet that it didn't compare to the whiplash it gave her. I felt the need to take her in my arms and convince her to take a break - even if that meant Alice would preach to me all night long about the importance of keeping up with her training.

"This might be a good idea for all of us, actually," I replied to Nell's mental inquisition. "We don't know when we'll have such a large window of opportunity again, so we might as well power up."

"What are you talking about?" my brother demanded.

"Hunting."

Jasper's mind took him back to almost two weeks ago, to the last time he had the chance to hunt. He had drunk from a few armadillos, but that certainly had not sated him as much as he needed.

"I could get on board with that," he agreed.

"Me too," Alice jumped instantly - not necessarily because she was thirsty, but because she wanted Jasper to be as comfortable as possible.

"We could try our hand at some yaks."

" _Ummm, I was thinking of something a little more satisfying than that_ ," Nell didn't voice her disapproval out loud, guessing - rightly so - that it would make me mad to even suggest that in Bella's presence.

"You do your thing, just keep your phone with you, in case something comes up," I told her.

"That's what I thought," she said.

We parted ways soon after, with the kid going to a village within the Dolpa district right as the evening was setting in, while the rest of us made our way to the Kanjeralwa Mountain. We made sure to avoid the tourist tracks - Bella might have resisted the temptation of human blood in Taipei, but she was still a three-month old newborn vampire, so being safe certainly felt better than potentially feeling sorry.

The sun had set completely by the time we found a herd of yaks to attack. Bella and Jasper were the first to launch, taking down four animals at once in their stride. Right until that very moment, I had never noticed how similar their hunting styles were: a little erratic from afar, but so very graceful and elegant upon closer inspection. The way they gave in to instincts was captivating in a way that would have set any human running for their life, an unspoken lethal grace surrounding their every move.

I got three yaks down in a few seconds - two for me, and one more for Bella, since the rest of them would be gone by the time she would be finished with her own catch - while Alice got one for herself. The familiarity of hunting with my family made me go easy on my prey, taking my time to savour it. Under the starry sky, I felt nothing but bliss as I drank.

When I was finished, I dragged the body of the third animal right where Bella was standing on her knees feeding herself, growling softly as she was trying to draw out more blood from the already-drained animal. I touched her hair gently, to get her attention. She looked up in an instant, her eyes glowing with appetency.

"I've got you one more," I told her, kneeling by her side.

The potent scent awakened her, and she launched over the yak I had brought just a fraction of a second after thanking me. I kept caressing her hair as she drank, watching her. I barely registered the sounds of Alice's and Jasper's background conversation and thoughts, too lost into observing my wife.

In her human days, I had watched her numerous times eating. While the food she was eating inspired no hunger in me, the joy beyond her act made me happy. But that joy paled in comparison to what I was feeling now, for Bella looked a hundred times more fulfilled while greedily gulping down blood, than any of the times she had eaten human food. Her lips were forming a perfect seal, while her teeth kept gnawing at the veins hidden beneath the layers of muscle and fat. Only her hands stood completely still, with her fingers buried deep between the ribs of her meal.

She had been born for this.

A bit of blood dripped down on her chin when she finished and lifted her face from the animal's throat to meet my eyes. I made sure to clean it before it got on her blouse.

"Satisfied?" I asked.

"Very. Thank you once again for that."

"Always a pleasure, Bella."

"You've watched me again," she observed with a small grin.

She liked to call me out on this particular habit - not that I felt the tiniest bit ashamed of the voyeuristic pleasure that overcame me when I observed my wife in these moments.

"It's not my fault you're so irresistible when you're hunting."

"I'm only a step above being a savage," Bella grimaced.

"Well, I won't contradict you there. But this only makes you more fascinating to me."

She smiled sheepishly - a funny contradiction to the goddess-like determination she had had minutes ago - and I leaned to kiss her coyness away. Her taste was masked by the taste of blood, but not entirely. I could still feel her natural sweetness beneath the delectable tang of the blood and this automatically made me crave more, so I bit down her lower lip. This was enough for Bella to get carried away: she pushed me down until my back was on the ground and leaned over me to deepen the kiss. I grabbed her neck in return, pressing my finger in the small space where her clavicle bones met. My small gesture made her gasp, making me realize I was all too ready to take her.

" _We're still here, brother_ ," Jasper's thought wasn't annoyed, just slightly amused, when it hit me.

I had to separate myself from my wife, grunting when I did so.

"Still not alone," I reminded her gently, rising up on my feet and helping her up as well.

Alice and Jasper were two hundred feet away from us, waiting hand in hand.

"I love you, guys, but a little privacy never hurt," Bella mumbled.

" _Ah, to be young and in love_..." Jasper's mental voice was relaxed, the excitement in the air fogging up his own judgement.

"We'll all have our much needed privacy when you polish up your technique," Alice chirped, and suddenly they were both right by our side. "Besides, Jazz just had an idea - although I'm sure Edward has already seen it."

"I'm sorry, but no, I wasn't paying attention."

"Well, do tell them, handsome," my sister encouraged Jasper.

"It wasn't exactly my idea per se, Nell kind of planted it in my head."

" _She kept asking me about my battle scars when we were up in the air. So naturally, I told her a few bits about the war I've been in._ "

"She wants Jasper to teach her how to fight!" Alice chirped.

"The girl is still worried sick about that werewolf, so she wants every advantage she can get."

"But she doesn't need to, we'll have _me_ next time," Bella protested. "Edward, you've seen the effect my shield has had on the thing!"

"I also know what came after."

"Not my point."

She confronted me with her eyes, clearly not in the mood to be reminded of the awful consequence of her bravery.

"So what is your idea, Jazz?" I demanded, not quite willing to start an argument with her while my brother and sister were there watching.

His words started melding uncomfortably with Alice's unspoken excitement when he answered:

"First of all, I will teach Nellie what she asked me to. And second, it might not be the worst idea to resume that other training with Bella, while we're at it."

"The fight training?" Bella seemed to be thrilled all of a sudden, no trace of the previous low-boiling fury - sometimes she was tough to keep up with.

"The defense training," I corrected her.

"That," Alice said. "We should split it: a quarter of day for this, and the rest for Bella extending her shield. At this point, the shield is still our main priority, but that won't be enough if we catch the next full moon together."

"You might be right," Bella offered. "I haven't done any fight training in a while."

"Then call Nellie and let's proceed," Alice ushered, clapping her hands.

" _Now don't give me that look. You know this needs to be done for the collective good._ "

Half-heartedly, I took my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and started dialing Nell's number.

* * *

I was once again on my back, thrown to the ground. Somewhere in the background, I heard Nellie's giggle. She did seem to enjoy learning how to fight from the master himself, Jasper, judging by the sounds. The thoughts of those around me were more of a blur that came and went - it seemed that Bella couldn't extend her shield for longer periods of time when she had to focus her attention in too many places at once.

"Now," she said, her hand gripping my throat. "Why don't we cut to the chase already?"

"I think we've done that already, love."

"You know what I mean."

"Forget about it."

She rolled her eyes, and her hand tightened around my neck a little. I found myself unreasonably aroused at this small gesture of hers.

"You're in no position to talk, Mr. Cullen."

"I think I'll be the judge of that," I said and quickly rolled her off me and to the side, coming on top of her in a second and trapping her body underneath me.

"Show me how to attack," she demanded.

It was only the fourth time she was asking me that - I had expected way worse.

"I don't think so."

"But I'm getting bored with these moves!"

"You are being childish. You need to perfect these moves."

"I've perfected them," Bella complained.

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so."

Her cockiness was endearing, just as any other part of her personality, but she could use some toning down when it came to this. Because yes, she was incredibly good - after all, that training we had done in Belaya Gora had not been for nothing - but she still had a penchant for letting her newborn instincts get the best of her at times and make her an easy target.

Without another word, I circled her waist tightly with my arms and stood up, throwing her body in the air and flinging it back to the ground, immobilizing her between my legs.

"You know so, huh?"

"Show-off," she growled, twisting herself to get away from me. But as soon as she set herself free, I leaned over to grab her ankle and blocked her knees from going further with my arm, bringing her down once again in the process.

"Come on now!"

"What?" I asked. "I thought you've perfected these moves."

"Well, yeah, but not when you launch a surprise attack."

"Do you think you get an attack-warning mid-battle?"

"Obviously not, but-"

"Then why are we having this conversation instead of practicing?"

We got back to what we were doing. Bella was angry this time around and she didn't shy away from putting her rage into the way she moved. I found that rage enticing in ways I did not expect - the fact that it had been over two days since we got to make love properly did not help in that regard, most certainly.

I found it harder and harder to concentrate on much else the more time passed without being intimate with her. Perhaps I had been a little spoiled during the times she and I had been alone in the past couple of months, with the constant impetuous lovemaking. But it wasn't only about the need to find a release and to seek pleasure in the meantime - sex brought us together in a way that words alone never could. It made claiming each other as easy as breathing. Once inside her, I knew I was complete to my very core. And I craved this feeling of completion now more than ever.

Trying to make do with what I could, I started being a little bolder whenever our bodies met in the throes of fighting - after all, Jasper and Nellie were busy doing their own thing, while Alice was concentrating on admiring him and shifting through visions. So I made sure to let Bella know just how much this coaching session affected me whenever our bodies met.

Pressing my length against her in between the moments of teaching and learning brought back a deluge of memories from her human days. This was most definitely not the first, nor the last time my excitement got the best of me. Back in March, we had visited her father for his birthday - the only problem was that I had not seen Bella for a week at that point, thanks to an extended hunting trip in the Appalachian Mountains with Carlisle and Esme. Seeing Bella again after being parted from her for so long had had a most powerful effect on me.

As she was doing the dishes in the kitchen after everyone had eaten, I managed to find an excuse to leave Charlie and his friends alone in the living room, where they were watching a baseball game, to get to the kitchen. I barely said a word to her - I only grazed my throbbing member against her ass and it had been enough for her to lift up the skirt Alice had chosen for her, push her underwear to the side and reveal the wet proof of how much she had missed me. We made love against the kitchen sink, with the water running to mask the noises, and everyone else a thin wall away from us.

Right now, there was no thin wall to allow us the slightest illusion of intimacy. And even if it were, it would have been useless when we had three super-hearing vampires so annoyingly close to us. This made me well up with unspoken frustration. If I could have a moment alone with her, just a moment...

But all of my frustrations crumbled when I heard Alice's gasp from the other side of the field. It was impossible to discern her thoughts now, seeing that Bella was too focused to respond to my mock attacks to do anything else. I stopped right away and my wife took the chance to lock me to the ground, under her body.

"Wait," I wheezed.

"What happened?"

"Alice."

Just as I uttered her name, she was right next to us - and so were Jasper and Nellie. For an unbearably long moment, confusion lingered in the air, as Bella was getting control back over her shield. But once she did, the thoughts around me started to swarm in my head.

" _The twins! Those were the dumb twins that found me_ ," Nell seemed to be annoyed.

" _Jazz was right._ "

" _This doesn't feel right._ "

"What is it, Alice?" Bella demanded.

"Demetri," she uttered. "He's got Edward's trail. They're taking him to Alaska now, like Jasper predicted, to get mine as well."

" _Oh, man, the beast has been unleashed_ ," Nellie's quick thought made its way into my brain.

As Alice talked, I caught glimpses of the images she had just seen: Aro, Demetri and the twins, in the Denali wilderness. The Denali sisters, terrified by this visit. Tanya, asking the Volturi if I was okay. Jane, punishing her curiosity with her gift. Demetri, getting exactly what he needed and starting his tracking mission.

Painful shivers crossed my spine.

"How long?" Jasper said.

"Tomorrow evening. That's when they arrive in Denali."

"We have to leave this place by then," I said. "Get as far away as possible from them."

A short succession of images flashed through Alice's mind: a baobab forest, pristine waters, a couple of lemurs, our little group covered from head to toe in garments, hats and sunglasses.

"Madagascar it is," I murmured.

" _That looked like Antsiranana, I've been there once,_ " she thought.

"Right, your fifth honeymoon," I remembered. "But the population density is huge there."

" _What did I tell you about giving Bella some credit after these months? And especially after what she did in the woods in Taipei?_ "

"Wait, what?" Bella seemed confused by this strange exchange - long ago, this used to be Emmett's reaction to these mental conversations Alice and I had, before his confusion turned into exasperation.

"I second that," Nellie offered.

"We'll be heading to Antsiranana, in Madagascar," I explained. "I'll call the airport to get clearance for take off tomorrow morning."

"That's as far as we can get from here and from them at the same time," Jasper agreed.

"But are we sure the plane will be ready by then?"

Another quick glance into the future showed Alice the only outcome available, and she rushed to explain it:

"With a one-hour delay, but yes. It will be. It won't affect us too much."

The next day, we were boarding our plane dressed in a way that left no inch of our skin uncovered. Alice and Jasper wore matching oversized hoodies, that covered them up to their fingers. My sister had chosen trench-coats and hats for me and my wife, making us look like a pair of amateur detectives. For Nellie, she had chosen a fluffy pink tracksuit from her own wardrobe, that had the kid boiling with rage.

We were a strange-looking group, to say the least. While we did attract some curious looks from the people around us along the way, it was far less conspicuous than shining our way through the airport and to the tarmac.

This flight had not been as peacefully gleeful as the one from Taipei to Dolpa. No one played Hearts, no one laughed. An ominous silence flew along with us, undisturbed by our collective wish to relax, even if just for a few hours. It wasn't all bad, of course: the silence allowed Bella to play with her gift relentlessly. With no one to distract her attention, she managed to keep it up almost the entire duration of the flight.

The airport in Antsiranana was smaller than most train stations in the United States. This fascinated Nellie, for whatever reason. If I had to be honest, her constant amazement when it came to airports and airplanes was endearing. It was such an unusual thing to get hung up on. This just proved that at heart, she was still very much a child who had never got to experience these small wonders in her human life and she made up for it now. When I found myself wondering whether she had ever got the chance to visit Disneyland and what her reaction would be to a place like that - from complaining about how consumerism-filled that place was to probably secretly enjoying all the rides - I knew I had to stop.

Getting back to worrying about Alice's past visions was the last thing I needed. And yet, I found myself doing it anyway, despite my best intentions.

* * *

**If you've got any thoughts or questions on this chapter, I'd be so very happy if you decided to share them! I love reading and responding to comments.**

**Until next time, stay safe and happy!**


	24. Crumbling

**Hey, lovely people! This chapter has a trigger warning. I put it in the end notes, so as not to spoil anything. If you are not sensitive to any particular subjects, you can skip it.**

* * *

Moving around every two days quickly became a habit. It wasn't even a hassle anymore, it was simply expected. Of course, this wasn't exactly what I meant when I had promised Bella I would show her the world the day I married her, but it was annoyingly close to it. Somehow, someway, this allowed us to remain one step ahead of Demetri's radar. We went from one place to another without truly appreciating the places we were passing through: the azure waters of Madagascar, the empty deserts of Namibia, the scorching lands of Eritrea, the pilgrim-ridden Israel, the politically-shaken Belarus, the vast white beauty of Iceland.

A couple of hours a day were reserved just for fight training - whether we liked it or not, the threat of the werewolf loomed over us as we were approaching the next full moon; Bella and Nellie had to be ready to some extent for the physical threat it posed (although deep down I hoped neither of them would need to put what they were learning to practice).

Meanwhile, keeping Demetri off their radar was going well enough. Bella got gradually more comfortable with her own power, managing to exert it even when she was not solely focusing on it. It was far from being perfect, which annoyed her terribly, but it seemed to work well enough to keep us safe for two days at a time. The few times Demetri had managed to get a tiny semblance of where we might be located, he had been way off, his senses guiding him hundreds of miles away from where we actually were - giving us plenty of time to hit the road in the meantime.

Alice's visions showed a distressed Demetri, one that could not understand what was keeping him from doing what he knew best. Since the Volturi knew nothing about what my wife could do, they tried coming up with possible explanations for what prevented his tracking abilities from working properly - not one of them close to the truth, of course.

In the meantime, I had grown to feel more comfortable with Nellie around. This could be attributed to me making an effort to not dwell on Alice's vision more than necessary, but also to Nellie being unnaturally talented at repressing thoughts that could bring her avoidable worries - although it was not hard to guess the reason behind this talent of hers. Her interest in my books had not vanished; she would ask me for another one before each take off and I would pick her brain about it after each landing. Our talks about the hidden pretentiousness of "On the Road" or about the ambiguous conundrum at the end of "Fight Club" helped me reach an unexpected sense of sympathy towards her.

Without realizing, our small group of five had entered a bizarre new normalcy - a normalcy that involved constant moving, constant shielding, constant training and barely any time just for me and Bella. This was a different kind of waiting than the one I did in Alaska. Back then, I knew that Bella was not emotionally ready to give herself away to pleasure after the accident and I understood that. But now, there were no emotional roadblocks getting in the way, just fate itself - and that made it all the more frustrating.

But we managed to find a loop in this new normalcy. Whenever we would land in a new place, Bella and I would rent a separate car, find a place isolated enough from the rest of the world, and abandon ourselves to each other for an extremely short hour. It was a far cry from the days on end we used to spend just loving each other, but we treasured all the little things we could get away with. Besides, that little window of time with her allowed me access to the happiest place in the world: her mind. As she got accustomed to these getaways, her shield started to weaken whenever we were alone, letting me in on her thoughts.

Each time that happened, I felt reborn in ways I felt myself unable to explain to her. Sometimes it happened when we made love, other times during our drives. I was no longer taken by surprise when it happened, as I had learned the distinction between her talking voice and her mental one. But that didn't stop me from feeling my heart imploding with the purest joy imaginable whenever it happened.

This was our little personal miracle, one that nobody else needed to know. Alice was too busy focusing on more important matters of the future to get a glimpse of this, while Nellie barely had access to my mind anymore, thanks to my wife - and on the rare occasions she did, I knew better than to think the unthinkable.

Finding an isolated place in the quiet Höfn, in Iceland, had proven to be easy enough. At the edge of a forest, a few miles away from the hotel we had checked in to, an abandoned camping site awaited. I had specifically rented a truck with one thing in mind: even if just for a fleeting hour, I wanted to make love to Bella right under the silent wonder of the Northern lights.

I was moving slowly inside her, just basking in the pleasure and getting lost in the burned caramel ocean of her eyes, when her phone started to ring. At first, neither of us reacted. She just dug her nails in my shoulders and moaned deeply, begging me with her mind to go a little harder, and I obliged. But when her phone didn't stop, I reached out to grab it and offered it to her, not bothering to look who was calling and not stopping my thrusts.

"Hello?"

"Bella, honey, hey! How are you?"

"Mom!"

She gasped loudly - whether from the shock or from the fact that I pushed harder against her cervix, I could not tell, because her shield had snapped back to protect her thoughts. Her hand pressed against my bare chest, motioning me to stop moving. I did, albeit unwillingly.

"Haven't heard from you in forever, sweetie. I've left you so many messages."

"I know, I'm just… things are a little crazy at the moment, mom, I'm sorry."

"Uh-oh! Everything all right with Edward?"

"Oh, more than all right. He's amazing. He always is, in fact."

Her palm grazed my cheek as she spoke and I heard her mom chuckling on the other end.

"Then tell me about those crazy things."

Bella paused for a long moment, before replying:

"It's a little tough accommodating to Cardiff, that's all. I'll manage."

"You are my little warrior, you always manage."

She was indeed a warrior - in more ways than her mother could comprehend.

"Well, speaking of Cardiff, I've got good news for you, honey. Phil and I might pay you a visit there next Friday!"

Bella's eyes opened wide and she certainly didn't think her next words through properly:

"You can't do that!"

"But of course we can! We want to do a small trip through Europe starting next week and it would be a pity if I didn't visit my daughter. We've finally managed to sync up our schedules."

Bella looked at me, eyes full of panic, and I mouthed the word 'lie' to her, praying that her imagination wasn't going to come up with something completely outlandish.

"That's amazing, mom, but… it might not be the best timing."

"Why not?"

"I think Edward might have the flu or something. He's been feeling off since last night and... he stayed home today. It might be contagious."

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing serious. Soup and Tylenol will fix that."

"No, it seems a little more serious than that."

I tried not to laugh at the underlying irony of her excuse. _Flu_. Of course I was the one with the flu.

"Then it's a good thing you've got Carlisle there, right?"

Bella bit her lip and I could tell it was just an attempt to keep a straight face.

"It surely is."

"Well, send Edward my best wishes. And let me know if he's feeling any better next week, all right? We really want to visit."

"Will do."

When she was finished talking on the phone, she let go of any reservations and exploded into a fit of laughter. I smiled, letting her have her way. Besides, the vibrations of her laughter had an interesting effect on the way our bodies were connected.

"So flu," I mumbled, when her laughter finally subsided. "Haven't had that in a long while."

"Bet you don't miss it."

"I barely remember what it's like, so I wouldn't know."

She smiled, sighing as she did.

"It was the first thing that came to me. It could've been worse."

"Very creative," I agreed.

I buried my face in her neck, inhaling deeply. I hated this web of lies in which we were entangled. While I didn't mind the way I had needed to lie my way out of certain situations in the past few months, it did bother me that Bella had to resort to this ignoble tactic as well.

"I'm sorry it's like this, my love," I murmured against her skin.

"Like what?"

"You lying to your parents."

"I more or less had to do that ever since we met, for their sake, so it's not exactly uncharted territory for me."

I lifted my face from her neck, to look at her properly. I seriously doubted if she realized how rough this exact scenario would have been on other people.

"You're one strong woman, Isabella Marie Cullen, do you know that?"

"I'm all right, I guess."

"No, I can think of at least a dozen other terms that would describe you better than 'all right' does." _Amazing. Spectacular. Astonishing_. "You've come a long way since that last night in Forks, when you didn't even want to talk to me."

"You don't know the levels of shame I was feeling."

"I know to some extent. It was more or less how I was feeling when I returned to Carlisle and Esme after my rebellious years and they welcomed me with open arms. I felt like I didn't deserve their love then, after mistaking so terribly and for such a long time. But seeing you that night and seeing you now... you've taught me that I did deserve it."

"You're always too tough on yourself," she replied.

"Maybe you're right. That is one of the many reasons I would be completely lost without you."

"You don't have to worry about that, Edward. You know I am here for good. I've always been."

She looked and sounded confident - as if we didn't have to return soon to the hotel, to keep everyone protected with her shield. As if Demetri wasn't stuck in Greenland with Aro, Jane and Alec, annoyed that he had missed my and Alice's trace once again. As if the full moon wasn't coming in one week. As if Alice hadn't had those awful visions about us joining the Volturi against our will - admittedly, maybe because my Bella knew nothing about those visions.

"I know you are, Bella. That is not the source of my worry."

"Then what is?"

I had kept this from her for quite a while, not wanting to give her too much stuff to worry about at once. Unlike the vision with Nellie as our… whatever she was supposed to be in that vision, the scenarios in which I was stuck in Volterra and we only got to see each other on special occasions were far worse. They had kept my mind occupied several times, making me wonder what would happen if they were to come to life one day. I still wasn't sure whether it was good to offer Bella this particular piece of information, but hiding it couldn't have been much better in the long run.

"Alice had some visions that day, in the woods. Right as she was coming after me."

"The one about Nellie, that had you so freaked out, I remember."

"Well, that… but also two more."

She raised her eyebrows, looking at me with questioning eyes. I knew there was no going back now, so I did the only logical thing: I told her everything, down to the very painful details. She listened patiently, like she always did, frowning every once in a while when a certain thing troubled her too much.

When I was finished, I waited for her reaction.

"That just won't happen," she said, matter-of-factly.

"It might, it might not, you know how it is with some of Alice's visions."

"Yes, I know, but I can't let this one happen. I mean, as long as I protect you and her-"

"Bella, love, not everything lies in your hands."

"But right now it kind of does, doesn't it? Because if _I_ mess something up, they find us."

I sighed. While finding an answer to the 'how?' that lied beneath Alice's vision was important, it was the 'what if?' that kept me on my toes.

"Bella, I don't think you understand my problem here. I honestly don't know what we would do if that situation, for whatever reason, came to life. Denying the possibility behind it doesn't lessen the chances of it happening."

It was her turn to sigh now, as she allowed my words sink in. Her gaze remained fixated on the sky above us when she talked:

"I'd try to get you out of there," she said.

"And get yourself killed in the process? No, thank you."

"Okay, then I would try to make myself useful to them. They don't know what I can do, maybe they could use a shield in their guard."

This was a good point, I had to give her that. But having her join this dark side of the vampire world didn't sound like the best deal in the world. That was too big of a sacrifice to make.

"I don't know about that," I admitted. "You're too good for them."

"And you're not?"

"I just don't want you to be in the middle of the wolves, so to speak."

The small silence that followed got filled, all of a sudden, with the sound of her thoughts. I tried - in vain - to keep my cool.

" _We'd be there together, that doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world to me_."

There was no possible way to hide my joy and amazement - and at this point, she had begun to recognize perfectly this particular joy.

" _It's happening again, right?_ "

"It is," I admitted, drunk on the feeling. "And to address that particular thought you just had: that's just not what I had in mind for our future."

" _Well, I do remember vowing I'd be there with you 'for better or for worse'_."

"You did," I smiled at the lovely memory.

"And we did agree to take things as they come, one day at a time," she added, this time out loud.

"You're right. I just want all those days to be with you."

I leaned in to kiss her, aware that we had to leave soon. She pulled me closer to her, wrapping her legs tightly around my hips and forcing me to go deeper inside her body when she did that.

"I love you so much..." I whispered, pushing slowly.

"And I love you."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, to get some leverage as I was moving in and out of her, slow and steady.

" _Just like that, don't stop..._ "

"Yes, yes, Bella, just like that..."

Time was always impatient when I was loving her. It was ruthlessly going too fast for me to keep up with it. It only proved just how relative the notion of 'time' itself was. An hour alone with her passed like a minute. It seemed that I was always chasing an illusion during these getaways.

We were back to the hotel sooner than any of us would have liked, as always. Back to shielding. Back to being on our toes.

The usual, of course.

* * *

With only six days until the next full moon, things were getting tense.

It was clear that the previous plan had not worked properly. We did have a couple more aces under our sleeves this time around: the improved fighting skills and Bella's shield. Still, I didn't want my wife or Nellie to be the focus of attention once the werewolf would return - but I was also aware I could not take it down on my own. Perhaps not surprisingly, both of them were more than ready to throw themselves in the fighting ring. This recklessness both amazed and infuriated me - hence the things getting tense on all fronts.

And then there were Alice and Jasper. It had taken me way too many arguments to convince both of them to step aside the night of the full moon. I hated the idea of dragging them into this mess - they already had a lot on their plate with the Volturi. It wasn't until Carlisle called that things started clearing up in regards to what to expect. We had just arrived at a cabin at the base of Kaskasapakte mountain, in Sweden, when he called.

"You know I've promised you, kids, I would not leave you alone to face the werewolf this time," he explained simply. "So I will help you myself. Too much damage had been done the last time."

"I don't think you understand what you would be getting yourself into," I said. "This thing could track you as well if we fail."

"I think I understand better than you do, son," he replied calmly. "I did help the Volturi kill one centuries ago, as you well know."

I could not contradict facts.

"And what about Esme?"

"She will go to stay with Emmett and Rosalie while I'm gone."

"This is insane."

My father didn't contradict me there.

"You can't put your life on the line for us like that," I insisted. "It's not fair to you, nor to Esme."

"This is not about being fair. We've both been worried sick after what happened in Mati."

"I know you were, but we won't make the same mistakes twice."

He sighed, still patient as always.

"This is not really debatable, I'm afraid," Carlisle offered softly. "I had talked to your mother about this and it is settled. You can't keep having this burden on your shoulders."

"And what is your plan?"

"We meet in Paris."

"Why Paris?"

"We need a place that has catacombs, Edward. It makes escaping harder for the werewolf. The way the Volturi went about killing the Children of the Moon in the past involved trapping them in the catacombs of Vatican, covering the exits with titanium plates, chasing them until dawn, when their strength would subside, and attacking them. But the last place we would want to be right now is Italy."

"Fair enough."

I could remember the night Carlisle had told me about him helping the Volturi kill such a being. He told me about it one year after my change, back when it was only the two of us. I didn't give his story much thought back then - after all, he had made sure to tell me that those werewolves were extinct. What were the chances of me ever meeting them?

The arrogance of my young years came to haunt me in unexpected ways.

"The underground map of Paris is far greater than the one in the Vatican," Carlisle said. "That gives us more room to work with, but it's not going to be easy."

"Never thought it would be."

While I could no longer remember what it felt like to have a fever dream, discussing the details of trapping the werewolf somewhere deep in the womb of Paris and killing it felt very much like one. As much as Carlisle hated the idea of taking the life of another sentient being, he seemed to be at peace with the thought of getting rid of the Child of the Moon - and not only because the monster had hurt Bella and had both me and her on its radar.

In his younger years, Carlisle had seen first-hand how vicious a creature like this could be. He had been with the Volturi for a while when he had encountered one such werewolf. He was out on a surveillance mission with Felix and Demetri - some vampire conflicts had broken out in Romania and they had to tackle that. As they were getting deeper and deeper into the lush greenery of the Carpathian mountains, they came across a wounded shepherd.

Carlisle's first instinct had been to help him, but Demetri stopped him right in the tracks of his good deed, suggesting the man could make for a good snack. My father had tried to reason with him, but he was not having it. In the middle of their argument, the fate of the wounded shepherd had been decided by something else entirely. Out of the dense web of fir trees, a creature that Carlisle had only heard of in old forgotten legends appeared: a Child of the Moon.

My father never quite forgot how the werewolf had launched over the shepherd. In less than a second, it had ripped the man's body in half, a pool of blood and intestines bursting out of him and on to the frosty ground. The gore of the act had not been the worst part, as Carlisle had told me long ago - but rather the fact that the man remained very much conscious minutes during this nightmare, as his brain was still getting enough blood flow to keep him aware. And while he was screaming from the top of his lungs for God to save him, the werewolf had started to eat him alive, ripping right through the skin that was hanging off his broken hips, revealing the warm organs inside and munching on their soft flesh.

It was Felix that prompted them to run away, while the werewolf was still busy devouring his prey. Children of the Moon were at their most lethal when they were feeding, the frenzy taking over them, enhancing their strength and fierceness. And while Carlisle did listen and started running, all he could hear, even miles away from the ordeal, were the man's screams turning into powerless whispers, calling out to God until his very last breath.

Not long after, they started following the werewolf's scent through the woods. It led them right back to the monster - and as a result, the monster started following them, beginning a painfully long chase. The three of them led the werewolf thousands of miles away from the primeval Romanian forests and right to the underground tunnels of Vatican. It was close to daylight when they arrived there. At that point, the werewolf's brawn had grown impossibly thin, thanks to the impending sunrise. In the end, they managed to attack it and kill it - all three of them.

Carlisle had witnessed many deaths until then. He had seen both human and vampire lives being taken away: sometimes with a merit, sometimes not so much. In his unending kindness, he had never stopped hurting for the lost souls. But even Carlisle, the man who could see hope for redemption in any sentient being, could not feel mercy for the werewolf when they set its remains on fire. The screams of the wounded shepherd had haunted him for many years afterwards - the way he kept begging God to save him while the werewolf was eating him piece by piece had left the most bitter taste in his mouth.

My father had seen evil in its purest form that night. He understood then that he would not feel sorry if he would have to end the life of such a creature again. He came to understand that there was no redemption for Children of the Moon. Humans and vampires still had a conscience to work with, even when the darkest desires would overcome them. But werewolves? Not so much. They would always be damned to an existence in which the full moon would transform them into ruthless torturing and killing machines, with no chance of escaping their nature.

The news of Carlisle coming to help us had been received with understandable happiness. Bella, Alice and Jasper had missed him terribly, just like I did. Even Nellie, who had only heard our stories about him, was excited to meet 'the original old man', as she had put it.

"I'm sure you'll like him," I told her.

We were sitting on the couch, while Bella was busy attempting something new a few feet away from us: she was trying to project her shield while she was reading. She wanted her power to become second-nature, so lately she had been trying to keep her mind busy while also doing her best to protect us. And God knew how, but she made it work.

Jasper and Alice were sitting at the table across the room, playing their own personal version of chess. It involved too many rules based on the inner jokes that they shared, so it was no wonder that they never played that version with the rest of the family.

"Is he tortured as well?" Nellie asked.

" _I'd guess so, since the apple doesn't fall far from the tree_."

"My father's not tortured," I responded, rolling my eyes at her. "He is quite possibly the kindest man you'll ever meet."

"I guess… after all, you've all been gushing about him."

"With good reason, believe me."

"His wife's not coming though, right?"

"No, Esme will go stay with our other two siblings while he's away. He doesn't want to get her involved."

"Probably a good choice," she agreed.

" _But it is a little surprising… I mean if the roles were reversed, would it… no, this is dumb anyway._ "

"What's surprising?" I demanded, when I realized that her thoughts weren't leading anywhere.

"It's nothing. I've no idea why I even thought about it."

" _Think random thoughts. This is embarrassing. Random thoughts. The night in the park is random. God, not that, definitely not that! Fuck. Why would my brain even take me there? Random, random, random._ "

"Nellie," I said, trying to prevent her from going into overdrive. "It's all right. I was just asking you a question. You've heard my thoughts way too many times in the past month, so it really cannot be more embarrassing."

"Oh, fuck, this is annoying! People just can't have privacy with you around, can they?"

"Not really," I grimaced.

"Well, except Bella."

I tried to keep my facial expressions neutral, but I heard my wife clearing her throat in the background and that made me smile despite my will.

"Of course," I rushed to say. "Except her. So tell me now: what was surprising?"

She sighed, but responded anyway:

"I was wondering how your father can leave Esme behind in this mission. I mean I totally get it, believe me. But I've seen you and Bella and I just… I don't know, you seem like you could never leave her side, even if it was the smart thing to do. It's like you're glued together."

I had not expected her words to hit as deeply as they did. I had no idea how to respond to this, even if I could hear what she was going to say next before she opened her mouth.

"It was surprising in the sense that this Carlisle is your father, for all intents and purposes," she continued. "So I expect you to be quite similar to him. Yet I can't see you making the same decision that he made if you were a… uhm… you know..."

"A father," I filled the gap.

" _That frown's not good. Please don't think I had this thought for you-know-what reason._ "

"I don't," I said, almost automatically. "This is not why I was frowning. You… you are right. I don't think I would either."

I knew myself well enough to admit that. But the fact that Nellie had managed to penetrate through these layers to see that as well had taken me aback.

"He must really love you if he could make that choice," she uttered.

"Yes, he does."

Carlisle knew a type of love that I did not: the love of a parent for a child. Granted, I was not his biological son, but that had never stopped him from loving me as if I was. But he was different: he had had centuries of loneliness burdening his mind before he found me. It had been all too easy for him to discover this type of love, after being fairly on his own for most of his life.

Me, on the other hand... I had never been alone. Incomplete, yes - it wasn't until I had met Bella that I truly felt whole. But alone? Never. I did not feel the need to extend my capacity to love further. After all, what good would it do to me? _None_ , I tried telling myself.

"Sorry for bringing this up," Nellie offered, filling the silence that had fallen over us.

"No, I asked for this."

She looked away, her mind once again becoming agitated with the sudden need to 'think random thoughts'. The fact that the thought about a particular night in the park she wanted to remain hidden had resurfaced did not escape me. I tried to remain silent, hoping that her mind would take the reins and show me whatever it was that seemed to trouble her.

When that didn't happen, my curiosity got the best of me once again and I asked:

"What is so special about that night in the park?"

" _Oh, no, no, no. We're not doing this. Fuck no._ "

She crossed her arms over her chest, her face suddenly frozen. But despite her best efforts, her mind still slipped, allowing me to catch a glimpse. A string of flashes cut through her conscience. First, the face of a man in his forties: his eyes red and his mouth the exact same heart shape that Nell's had. Then, the hands of the man, reaching to unbutton her shirt. Then, the man undressing quickly, telling her to be a good girl. And in the end, the man's limbs burning in the grass.

I had seen what Nellie wanted to do before she got to do it - which gave me a bit of an advantage when she stalked out the door of our rented cabin without a word.

"I'll be right back," was the only thing I had managed to say before heading out to follow her.

She was a fast runner, her small size allowing her to move quickly through the birch forest and higher up the mountain. But she was no match to Bella's newborn speed - and frankly, Bella was quite possibly the only one that could outrun me, so I had no doubts about my ability to catch up with her.

While I could no longer hear her thoughts, now that we were far enough away from the house, where I was no longer under Bella's shield, the last things her mind had summoned burned fiercely in my brain: the face of the man - her father, judging by the physical resemblance, the misplaced hunger in his eyes, the dread that surrounded these memories. And then the fire - there was definitely something about that fire that had made her mind go wild with guilt. Part of me was convinced it knew the reason behind the guilt, but I could not allow myself to form the full thought.

I managed to overtake her right as she was squeezing her way through two trees. I jumped in front of them, blocking her way.

"What's the plan?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as soft as possible, not wanting to trigger more unpleasantness. "Running and then what?"

"Shut up," she growled.

"Nellie… I'd already seen it. I'm sorry, but I did."

"You weren't supposed to."

"You're right, I am sorry."

"That's what insisting gets you!"

I slowly realized that I had no plan for how this interaction was supposed to play out. In my past, I had only been on the other side: face to face with countless predators, ready to kill them, so that no one else would ever have to suffer at their hands again. But no one had taught me what to do if I ever came across the victims. And while Nellie's past with her father was no surprise to me, this was the first time I had seen it through her eyes - and I had not been prepared for the wave of sorrow it brought.

But beyond the sorrow, there was something else. Something more powerful. Rage - so wild and boiling and real and raw that I could almost taste it; rage that this girl had ever been abused, that no one had been there for her when that happened, that I had ever stopped killing criminals. Of course, the rage was awfully unhelpful now - the evil had been done so long ago, that it served me no good to dwell on it.

Still, I could not help it.

"Kid, I can't tell you how sorry I feel that this happened to you," I started, but she cut me off abruptly.

"I don't need anyone's pity."

"I know you don't, you never do."

"Good, then leave me the fuck alone!" she spat the words.

Leaving might have been the polite thing to do. I had already screwed things up with my curiosity, I could do that much. But for whatever reason, my feet refused to move.

"I can't," I said.

Her eyes raised up to me, two round marmalade pebbles, glistening from under her fringe.

"I saw the fire in the park, Nellie," I murmured.

She stared at me - surprised at first, then more and more aghast, as the weight of my words began sinking in her mind. I didn't have to be a mind reader to understand that this had been an information that only she had known until this very moment. More than that, this was information that she had never intended to let out, for reasons that only now was I starting to comprehend.

"Your father didn't die fighting some other vampire, like you told us," I continued, allowing myself to voice my assumption. "That's all right."

Nellie simply nodded 'no'; again and again and again, as if she was trying to convince both of us of the contrary of my words.

"It's all right," I repeated.

She had to understand that I was not judging her. If my suppositions were correct, looking down on her was the last thing on my mind. But she just kept nodding 'no', not saying anything, just looking at me with dismay. I had to try again:

"Nellie, I promise it's-"

"It's not," she managed, her words coming in a whisper. "Not all right."

It seemed that whatever defense she had kept up was no longer there. This was the first time I was seeing her like this: fragile, not a trace of the usual feistiness.

"Tell me why not," I pleaded softly.

"I… had to get rid of him… he kept trying to… he just kept trying every night and I didn't want..."

She was no longer looking at me while she talked. Her eyes were fixated on the ground.

"I understand," I replied carefully. "You did what you had to do, kid."

"Yes, but… well... I don't, because what sane person kills her father?"

Her voice was lower still.

"Nellie, listen to me. You had every reason to. Your circumstances certainly make this a most understandable crime, if it can even be called that."

"There are no other words to describe that."

"I could think of a few," I said. "And the best one is 'justice'."

She sighed, turning her face away, staring at the trees by her side.

"He still loved me, you know?" she told me after a while. "He always made sure I was well-fed, for instance. Bringing me his catch even when he was the one who was thirsty."

My own eyes started stinging, watching her make up excuses for a man that deserved anything but that.

"Nellie… that's not love, dear. It's anything but that. He was just keeping on with his grooming, so that the abuse wouldn't seem as bad to you."

She looked at me from the corner of her eye.

"Possibly," she supposed. "He had his moments. That's why I'm not proud of what I did."

"You're not proud because you actually have a conscience - something that that vile man clearly lacked."

Nell turned around, so that we were once again face to face. Her eyes now oscillated between looking at me and looking to the side. When she spoke again, her voice sounded a tad more secure:

"I wanted him dead so badly… one night I just knew I could no longer take it. With or without his redeeming moments, this was not a life I wanted for myself, you know?"

"I would have done the same."

"You would have killed your father?" she quipped, laughing bitterly.

"No, my biological father was a decent man, if a bit distant. But I would have killed yours, no questions asked, if I had met you then."

She started laughing, but there was no trace of amusement in the sound.

"I'm not joking, Nellie. Or saying it to make you feel better. Or whatever it is that you're thinking right now. I would have."

"Okay, but why?" she demanded to know, her usual spunk seeping back into her voice.

The immediate answer seemed obvious enough to me: murdering pedophiles was not exactly unknown territory for me. But I had stopped doing that long ago, so there was no logical reason for me to go back to doing that, after decades of refusing to play God again - and that was when I realized the answer might not have been as simple as I would have liked it to be.

As I was looking at her, trying to comprehend my own motives better, I started to understand why Alice had had that vision in the first place: somehow, someway, this kid had found a place for herself in my heart, a place that I had never even considered could exist. Maybe the reason Alice's vision had scared me so badly was not the fact that I wasn't ready or interested to be anyone's father - but rather the fact that deep down, I could see how perfectly easy it would have been to love a kid like Nellie. With her witty remarks, her penchant for books, her connection with Bella and our neverending banter, how could it not be?

"I think you know why," I managed to answer.

It seemed that a thousand thoughts were occupying her brain in that moment, judging by the array of emotions that traversed her face in the span of a few seconds. But I felt no need to know them when she stepped in front of me, her arms reaching out, demanding something that she had feared for too long. I took a step towards her as well and, without a word, pulled her in my embrace.

All the pent-up anxieties of the past three weeks started crumbling to the ground, one by one. I watched them fall, calmer than ever, letting them go. Accepting their uselessness. Understanding that sometimes, the future could not be fought with, for it was inevitable.

* * *

**Trigger warning:**

**This chapter contains explicit graphic violence and non-explicit mentions of child abuse.**

* * *

**Wow, this chapter has not been gentle with my emotions, but I loved writing every last bit of it!**

**I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on what happened - and respond to each and every one of you, as always.**

**Big 'thank you's for all of you still hanging on with this story, you're the best!**

**Stay safe and happy, wherever you are!**


	25. Quenching

We didn't have to put a name to it. This would have created expectations that neither of us wanted to deal with. The discussion in the woods had brought me and Nellie closer, now that I had found out the one thing she had never wanted to tell to anyone, despite her always taking pride in being an open book. Things were more or less the same with her: but there was a new tranquility in our interactions, a calm familiarity that had not been there before. And I would have lied if I said it didn't feel good.

Her secret had not remained a secret for long. In fact, as soon as we got back from the woods, I realized that Alice had already seen what had happened. She had been graceful enough to not spill a secret that wasn't hers to spill. But when Bella asked what had made us disappear like that, Nellie sighed, threw me a knowing look and, much to my surprise, shared her truth with my wife and my siblings. She didn't go into great detail, keeping the story short and mostly free of the highly painful specifics - but now that I could hear her mind once again, the details hit me like a tsunami as she spoke. I knew I would never forget them, even if I tried.

Her confession ended with a shower of hugs - with her permission, of course. I was relieved to feel the tension of Nellie's thoughts give way to an indescribable serendipity as she let the pairs of arms surround her with love. These were all arms that would never abuse her or hurt her, and she knew that. It seemed that for the first time in forever, she was starting to understand what the concept of 'home' truly meant.

Five days before heading to Paris, we put into motion a plan that we hoped could throw Demetri's power off even more - we had to, since our little group would have to be separated for a while. As Bella, Nellie, Carlisle and me would be underground fighting the werewolf, Alice and Jasper would be somewhere up above, far enough away from the battlefield. In order for that to happen, we started traveling in a zigzag motion, only stopping in airports to fuel up the airplane. We went from Castlebar to Halifax, from Halifax to Porto, from Porto to San Juan, from San Juan to Faranah, from Faranah to Santos, from Santos to Cape Town, from Cape Town to Saint Pierre - and finally, from Saint Pierre straight to the Wilkins Aerodrome in Antarctica. The flight to Antarctica didn't come cheaply: I needed special approval to land there, due to the icy conditions. Since I did not have such a thing, Alice and I bribed our way to receive it - I used my money, while Alice used her indisputable charm.

For the entire duration of this zigzag trip, Bella kept her shield down. We actually wanted to be seen this time around, to have Demetri pick up our trace and follow it. If we could falsely lead him to Antarctica like that, before hiding our trace with Bella's shield again as soon as we left the Arctic lands, we could have approximately two days for ourselves without major interruptions - and this was exactly what we needed, considering the fast-approaching night of the werewolf. With the Volturi being far enough away and not traveling by plane, like we did, Bella could even afford the luxury of going shield-free - not that it mattered now, since it had grown to become almost second nature to her. In the worst case scenario, the Volturi would arrive in Paris on their own on the afternoon of October, 13. But if everything went right, we would be already gone from the city by the morning of that day.

We arrived in Paris on the evening of October, 11. Alice's visions gave us hope as we exited the airport to make our way to a car rental shop. Demetri had been pleased with the fact that, for whatever reason, he had been able to track us with no problems for the past few days, unaware of our plan - and still very much oblivious to Bella's power. But now that we were back to having our guard up, he was once again exasperated. Their group was now stuck somewhere in Antarctica, right where we had meant for them to lose our trace, debating where to head to next. Aro was tired of moving around blindly; he wanted certainty, but Demetri could no longer serve them that. And all of them were starving after running for so many days without a break.

As we were checking into a hotel of Alice's choosing, so that we could leave our baggage somewhere, Jasper's mind started to fill up with thoughts that gave away his thirst. He had not hunted in almost two weeks - and with Jazz, that was always risky. Alice did not have the same obsession to keep him over-sated as I had with Bella. Mainly because she trusted his control, but also because no blunder of Jasper had ever put us on the run for months.

My brother tried to keep his poise, but he could not fool me. The fantasies his thirst ignited were getting more powerful with each minute; I knew what I had to do. Alice and I had a special code for situations like these: I would cough once and she would understand the sign. The cough always went unnoticed by the rest of our family - it was just another small thing that helped us keep up the human charade, after all. But Alice knew it was more than that.

When she heard me this time, her mind instantly erased all her other worries, to make room for one loud thought:

" _Is it bad?_ "

I let my gaze wander up and down a few times, to signal a 'yes', as we were waiting for the elevator.

" _Do you think he can wait until tomorrow night?_ "

Jasper was slowly analyzing the veins on the throat of the receptionist, who was thirty feet away from us. That was enough to help me give Alice an accurate answer. I looked left, and then right, mimicking a silent, but definite 'no'.

As soon as she understood the urgency behind Jasper's thirst, she urged us to take the stairs. The staircase was mostly unused by humans, most of them preferring the convenience of the elevator. We still kept a human pace for the sake of the security cameras, which only made our trip to the tenth floor agonizingly long. As we climbed up the stairs, Alice was going through several possible scenarios for the near future. Much to her relief, she could see the Volturi going to hunt in the following hours as well, so that gave us an added benefit, beyond the distance.

" _It should be safe_ ," she was pondering while we entered the penthouse we had rented.

We stepped into a walnut-panelled foyer, which paved the way to a wide living room with floor-to-ceiling windows. An intricate chandelier hovered over the living room, its light sending a psychedelic array of colours on the dark walls.

"Shit," Nellie whispered, following close behind us. "Isn't this too much for only one night?"

"It's Paris, girl," Alice smiled. "Nothing is too much."

But beyond the smile, she was calculating which was the quickest way to get to the Rambouillet Forest. She gently pulled Jasper to the side, guiding him towards the glass windows, to tell him about the plans for their hunt. Nellie started roaming around the living room, until something caught her attention: a grand wall that served as a built-in library.

Out of habit, I took Bella's hand in mine and followed the scent of clean sheets in the air, until we arrived into what I could only guess was the master bedroom. This room had an entire wing dedicated to it, with its own bathroom and kitchenette. Inside the bedroom, a canopy bed that seemed to have been specifically made for giants reigned on the Eastern wall. Somehow, it didn't distract my attention enough to not observe the vanity dresser on the other side of the room - or the large mirrors facing this most extravagant bed. The windows in this room kept the theme of floor-to-ceiling casements of the penthouse, but they were covered with thick champagne-coloured curtains.

"I'm with Nellie on this," my wife murmured. "This really wasn't needed just for one night."

"As if logic could stop Alice from being reasonable in Paris," I responded, only half-joking.

I let the baggage I had been carrying with my free hand fall to the floor, so I could turn around to wrap my arms around Bella.

"Bringing you to Paris was on my to-do list, but not quite under these circumstances," I told her.

She nodded understandingly.

"I've been here a few times before, in fact," I added. "But I could never understand its charm."

"Well, from what I'm hearing, Alice and Jasper have their own plans for tonight."

"Yes, so?"

"So what's stopping us from discovering if it's worth the praise or not, since we have this night off?"

Her voice sounded hopeful. When I glanced down at her, I could not help but revel in the beauty of her eyes. For the first time since her transformation, they had a shade that was closer to mine than to the colour of blood. The molten burned caramel of her irises - still riddled with small ribbons of red - somehow made her snowy skin look even more appetizing than usual.

All of a sudden, an unwelcome fear creeped in my bones - fear that I might not have much time to get lost in these eyes, if something went wrong tomorrow.

"I hunted two days ago," Bella chipped in my musings, frowning at me. "You know I'm good."

"I know, sweetheart."

"Then what was that look?"

"Nothing worth losing sleep over," I replied with a playful wink, not quite seeing the point of bothering her with even more reasons to worry than we already had. "I'll go see if Nellie has other plans for tonight or if she wants to join us for this tour."

"All right," she sighed, accepting my lackluster excuse. "I'll go shower and find something decent to wear, since we've been up in the air for far too long these days and these clothes show it."

"Nothing could ever look decent on you," my voice came in a purr as I took in her appearance. As crumpled as her clothes looked after five days of flying almost non-stop, she still looked ravishing - after all, her perfect form diverted my attention greatly from the unruly wrinkles of her shirt or the wear and tear of her jeans. But then again, she could wear a hazmat suit and I would still boil with desire, especially after five days without being inside her.

Bella turned around and I smacked her ass before she got the chance to walk away from me, the gesture making her gasp with delight. As I was making my way back to the living room, I saw Alice rushing to the master bedroom. Her thoughts didn't reveal much, only the fact that she wanted to make sure Bella would be dressed appropriately for this walk through the city we had planned.

Back in the living room, Jasper was already busy telling Nellie about the last time our family had been here - which so happened to be in the '90s, when Rosalie and Emmett had decided to have yet another wedding, this time in the predictable city of love. As perfect as their wedding had turned out to be, that memory was laced with too many uncomfortable flashes of Tanya doing her best to convince me to leave the party and check in to a hotel with her; and her 'best' usually involved actions that could only be classified as sexual harassment.

"This one here kept trying to find excuses to leave early," Jazz smirked, pointing his gaze at me. "A family friend was all over him."

"Ugh, that's actually gross, so I get that," Nellie said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Thank you, kid - a reasonable reaction for this story, at long last."

" _You know it. And yes, I do want to see the city. I heard you and Bella talking._ "

I smiled and joined in their conversation, waiting for Alice to finish her makeover. I could hear fumbling coming from the other room and sounds of protest. When Bella said "Why would I need that just for walking through the city?", my sister suddenly started to translate "Ode to the West Wind" from English to Mandarin in her head. Ten minutes later, Alice emerged from the master bedroom wing, holding Bella's hand in hers as if she were her partner at some debutante ball.

When I saw Bella, I had to make an effort to not stare at her with my mouth open, as my first instinct screamed at me to.

Alice had dressed her in a garnet button up gown with a dense Fleur-de-Lis pattern, that made for a mesmerizing contrast with the creamy pallor of her skin. The dress embraced Bella's waist and arms tightly, before flaring up over her hips, thighs and knees, revealing only her calves, that were now covered in sheer black stockings. Further down, Bella's feet disappeared in a pair of black stilettos, the sight taking me right back to the last night I had seen her wearing high heels: the night when I tied her up in chains in the ebony cabin and fucked her senselessly.

 _Goddamnit_. As if I didn't already have plenty of reasons to be hard when she was wearing her regular clothes.

"Thoughts on my masterpiece?" Alice smiled.

Making an effort to no longer stare at Bella's alluring shape, I could now also see that my sister had styled her hair in a low messy ponytail, wisps of hair coming out of it in a way that looked effortlessly dashing.

"Absolutely marvellous," I said, my eyes unable to move away.

"Thanks, now if you'll stop with the staring, I've prepared something for you too," Alice said. "Come with me."

"Alice, I do know how to pick my own clothes," I replied calmly.

"Except I do it so much better, so suck it up."

Before I knew it, she was dragging me to the bedroom, for her second makeover of the day.

* * *

Paris at night was a captivating creature. The city had its own pulse, even if it should have been long asleep at the hour we had ventured out to discover it. Architectural elements of various eras were adorning its streets. One moment we were passing by a Gothic Cathedral and the next we were standing near some Art Nouveau café. People from all over the world were taking midnight strolls, just like we were: lovers holding hands, girls heading to their bachelorette parties, guys looking for some cheap pleasure on the streets, exchange students marvelling at everything that Paris had to offer.

I started to not feel so self-conscious about the long dark trench coat that Alice had chosen for me when I realized that it seemed to fit right in with the ageless charm of the city. Besides, it seemed to match perfectly with the cappuccino-coloured coat Bella was wearing. Even Nellie had been a victim of Alice's makeovers, an elegant jacket and a navy blue dress taking the place of her usual casual attire. My sister had gone the extra mile and even curled Nellie's hair, pinning her unruly bangs back with a sophisticated clip. Throughout all this, the kid complained, rolling her eyes every chance she got - but deep down, she didn't despise this pampering ritual all that much. In fact, at some point she even wondered if she would get to do this again.

Seeing that it was way past midnight, the classic tourist hotspots were mostly closed. But that didn't stop us from admiring them from afar, taking them in one by one: the symmetrical beauty of Place Dauphine, the clear glass facets of the Louvre, the graceful Eiffel Tower, the water fountains in the Trocadéro Gardens. We even got to pass by the Saint-Germain-des-Prés church, the Romanesque-style church where Rose and Em had said their vows over ten years ago. I could feel a new appreciation for the city of love, now that I had Bella's hand in mine and Nellie making priceless comments on the side about how everything seemed to be a little overrated.

I found myself getting frustrated with the fact that we could not stay here longer, to enjoy everything properly.

Two hours into our tour, we managed to sneak in for a ride in the Big Wheel on Place de la Concorde, surprised - but thankful - that it was still running despite the late hour. The canopy of Parisian lights looked much better and calmer from above. The air was quiet and crisp up there, easily painting the illusion that for a while, everything could be exactly right in the world. None of us said much in the ferris wheel, simply enjoying the faultless moment and not letting it go.

Back down on the ground, we found a souvenir booth - it seemed that these booths were never sleeping, in fear of losing any potential clients. They had everything: silly mugs, perfumed oil blends, jade eggs, singing dolls, snow globes with the Eiffel Tower, music boxes, fridge magnets, soaps and all sorts of jewelry pieces. The vendor - a woman in her forties, who was wondering if her kid had managed to go to sleep knowing that she was working a night shift - made no effort to acknowledge our presence when we started gazing down at the wide array of souvenirs on the counter.

"I seriously don't know how people buy these," Nellie winced. "They're so tacky."

"They don't necessarily buy them for aesthetic reasons," I explained. "Mostly to have palpable proof of their memories."

" _Huh. Okay. So a memory you can touch. Sort of._ "

As Nellie was studying the abundance of Paris-themed things in front of us, I glanced to my right, to get a glimpse of Bella's reaction.

"Seen anything you like?" I asked her.

She immediately nodded 'no'.

"Nothing to take home to remind you of this night?" I insisted.

"No need to, I'll keep everything right here," Bella replied, pointing to her temple.

"Okay, here's how we'll do this: close your eyes."

She raised one eyebrow incredulously, but closed her eyes nonetheless.

"Good. Now stretch out your hand."

"I feel a little ridiculous," she admitted.

"You're not. Just do as I said, please."

She stretched her arm in front of her, sighing as she did.

"Now, the first thing you'll touch will be the one we'll bring home when this is all over."

Bella huffed, obviously not in the mood for this little game, and grabbed the object that was closest to her fingers - a checkered chiffon scarf. When she opened her eyes, she didn't seem too impressed.

"Great, because one item of clothing was exactly what I needed," she grimaced.

"You're like a grumpy old woman when it comes to gifts, my love - even when they're small."

She shrugged, not quite contradicting me there.

" _What the actual fuck, this might be the most ridiculous one yet_ ," Nellie's thoughts caught my attention, and I turned to see what that was about.

"Care to show me?"

She pointed towards a bracelet in a pile of many others. This one in particular seemed to have every colour on the spectrum woven into its design. It was made of small plastic beads and a dozen pendants were attached to it: a small Eiffel Tower, a miniature Louvre, a tiny Arc de Triomphe and several typographies featuring predictable sayings, such as "J'aime Paris" and "France, mon amour".

I couldn't help but smile, as I was watching Nell stepping away from the booth, nodding her head in disbelief. I grabbed the scarf Bella was holding and the ridiculous bracelet and paid for both of them. I was ready to leave, when something caught my eye. A pile of artificially discoloured maps was crammed into a corner, almost falling over the edge. Upon closer inspection, these maps promised to hold the answers to the great unknown of the Parisian catacombs. I felt a little ridiculous when I grabbed my wallet once again to pay for a map like this, but we could use any little thing to help us tomorrow.

A little while later, we were standing somewhere in the middle of the Pont Alexandre III, looking over the undisturbed Seine. An almost full moon shone above, reminding us of how temporary this serenity was. My arms were closed tightly around Bella, who had climbed on the parapet of the bridge, with her back against the river.

"Well, this has been fun," Nellie said. "But I think I'm gonna go find a park, I'm a little thirsty."

"So... animals tonight?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, I like some diversity."

She seemed ready to say 'goodbye', but I stopped her just in time.

"Before you go," I started, detangling from the embrace I had been sharing with Bella, reaching in the pocket of my coat and taking the plastic bracelet out. "Take this. It's for you."

She seemed confused for a moment, before realizing what I had just handled her.

"You did not…"

"A memory you can touch," I smiled, reprising her previous thoughts.

For a few moments, she studied the small object in her hands, silently marveling at its tacky design. I wondered if I would ever get the chance to buy her other small gifts.

"It is absolutely awful, thank you," she grinned.

"My pleasure, kid."

"Take care out there," Bella murmured, as Nellie was waving us 'goodbye', walking away at a human pace.

We found ourselves back in each other's arms soon, as we watched the kid disappear into the night. The bridge was almost empty, save for another couple who was crossing it and a homeless man who had been drunkenly ogling Bella ever since we had arrived.

"You know, despite everything, I am happy right now," she murmured.

"Surprisingly enough, I am too."

Bella smiled, her fingers playing mindlessly in my hair, and I buried my face in the crook of her neck.

"So did you change your mind?" she asked after a while.

"About what?"

"About the charm of this city. You weren't too convinced back at the hotel."

"Silly Bella," I chuckled. "I would find an empty desert interesting if I got to roam its dunes with you."

I felt one of her hands descending from my hair to my back, pressing me a little tighter against her - as tight as the setting allowed us, since she was still up on the parapet.

"So that's a 'yes'?"

"It's a 'definitely'."

She laughed, the sound making her chest vibrate pleasantly against my body. I followed suit, only to hear her gasp when my breath met the skin of her neck.

"Everything all right?" I checked.

"Yes… I'm… just a little sensitive."

"Sensitive how?"

"Well, let's just say I'm easily-aroused after five days without sex."

"Mmmmm, are you?"

My voice was obviously laced with delight. I had been aching a lot in this department as well - and I knew she knew it, if only for the fact that it had become impossible to embrace her without getting impossibly hard by the end of the first day.

Just to see how she would react, I let my tongue graze over the side of her throat, in one long, slowed down movement. In response, her breath caught up and the hand she had kept in my hair tightened into a fist, tugging at my tousled locks. The gesture had me groan in return, and in the spur of the moment my teeth pressed down on her neck. Hard.

"God, Edward!"

She pulled me away from her, glancing down at me with starving eyes. I could tell that a part of her felt scandalized by what I had just done.

"I think we'd better get back to the hotel for this," she told me under her breath.

"I agree. But I'd like to see if you're ready for that first."

"Ready? What do you m-"

She stopped when she felt my hand insinuating on her thigh, close to where the buttons of her dress were placed. I began undoing them, one by one, not rushing, taking in her reactions: her heaving, her suddenly heavy eyelids, her parted lips. I shifted my position, so that my actions would be concealed by my own coat - there were no more bystanders now, but I cared about her modesty nonetheless.

Without too many words, I let my hand slide through the small space made by the three buttons I had undone. My fingers met her skin, right where her stockings ended and where the straps of a garter belt began.

_God, thank you, Alice!_

I could not take a peek without exposing her, so I kept my curiosity to myself for the moment. My hand wandered further up, along the silky straps, until they reached the waistband of her underwear. I recognized the distinctive feel of lace immediately - so delicate against her exquisite skin - and started tracing the contour of her underwear, down to the apex of her thigh.

"Okay, we _need_ to leave right now," she breathed, her tone demanding. "This is torture."

"We leave when I say we leave, my love."

The firmness in my tone reduced her to being a panting mess once again. She opened her legs, responding to a request I hadn't even voiced out loud. I welcomed her gesture the way I knew she wanted me to: sliding my hand between her legs, discovering her soaked underwear. Rubbing the deliciously wet spot, I felt my erection throbbing in my pants - it was longing to take the place of my fingers.

Bella moaned loudly, no longer caring about where we were. She was hanging on to me with every limb, pleading softly for me to take her. As tempting as her proposal was, my own plans involved more of a delayed gratification approach tonight. Realizing that I could finally take my time loving her - after days of necessary abstinence and weeks of hurried sex - had made me eager to do things properly at long last. She deserved the full-course, not just a rushed dessert.

"Here's what we're going to do, Bella," I began, looking up at her. "We leave this place. We head straight back to the hotel. The moment we enter the apartment, I expect you to be out of this pretty dress of yours. Understood?"

"Completely," her voice was weakened by her needs. "Let's go."

"I might have not been as clear as I should have. Tonight, you don't call the shots, love. I do."

I pushed my fingers under the flimsy lace, to meet her scorching center. This time, we moaned together when I grazed over her clitoris, flicking it lightly. She was more than ready for this. Aching just as much as her, I rammed two fingers inside her body, while my thumb kept moving on her sensitive bundle of nerves in small circles. Her arousal came out of her in a hot cascade, coating my fingers to my knuckles.

At this point, I knew she would not need much to come undone, so I removed my hand from between her legs just as she was starting to quiver, ripping her underwear in the process. I stuffed the lacy remains in the pocket of my coat.

"That stays with me," I explained. "Now help me clean this up."

Bella looked at me, frustration and desire altering her mien. Her eyes darted to see my fingers, now glazed in her excitement, waiting patiently in front of her lips. She leaned down obediently to take them in her mouth, not once breaking eye contact with me. I grew harder still at this beautifully obscene sight, wishing to transport myself to a place where we could be alone for the rest of eternity.

"Good job," I offered, pulling my fingers from her mouth and buttoning her dress back up, careful to keep her covered as I was doing that. "Now let's go. As much as I'd love to fuck you here, on this parapet, I don't have all the supplies on hand. Hm, maybe just one."

"Supplies?"

I ignored her question on purpose, helping her back down on the pavement and kissing her shortly on the forehead, before taking her hand in mine and walking away. We kept an all-too-slow rhythm for the sake of the humans we were passing by. Bella tried to pick up the pace a few times and I had to remind her to keep her enthusiasm in check. At some point during our trip back, something triggered her shield to fall down again, to my extreme delight. Having access to her mind in the extreme state of arousal she was in made for a pleasurable experience - and I figured I could use that to our benefit soon.

Twenty torturous minutes later, we were back at the hotel, dashing past the reception and straight to the elevator. It took all my strength to not rip her clothes off, force a technical difficulty upon the elevator and have my way with her right there. The only thing tempering my desperation was the thought of all the unused climbing ropes in my baggage.

Having remembered my previous request, Bella had already taken her coat off. When we exited the elevator, she started unbuttoning her dress. As soon as we were back inside the apartment, all bets were off. She let her dress and coat fall to the floor, revealing her impeccable lingerie-clad figure. A transparent black bralette covered her breasts, allowing her engorged nipples to poke sensually through the lace. The bralette extended past her breasts, embracing her ribcage with thin black strips, while a matching garter belt graced her hips, holding her stockings up.

And thanks to the decision I had made on the bridge, no underwear was there to catch her wetness - which was exactly why her thighs were now glistening and the rim of her stockings stained.

"God, Bella, you're out-of-this-world gorgeous…"

Without another word, I pushed her against the wall, hearing it crack, and attacked her mouth with mine.

" _We're here now. Please, please, I need you so much…_ "

Our hands were all over each other: as I was squeezing her ass in my palms, she was busy tearing my coat and my shirt to pieces. When she got to my pants, I grabbed her wrists and stopped her.

"Easy," I warned softly, over her lips. "We can only ruin so many clothes in one night."

" _I really, honestly don't care. Just let me feel how hard you are._ "

I disengaged from our kiss, to get a good look at her.

"You will soon, I promise. Now, I would like you to go to the bedroom, Bella. Kneel down on the floor and wait for me there. Keep your shoes on."

Her eyes widened upon hearing my instructions, while her mind started running in a million directions. She started to understand where this was going - and she was enjoying every bit of it. She parted from me with difficulty, turning away to head to the bedroom. I watched the tantalizing movement of her buttocks and I couldn't help myself from grabbing my erection and squeezing it tightly through my jeans, to get a crumb of relief - it didn't work, my own action making me crave more immediately.

I took off my own shoes in a hurry, using my free hand to take my phone out of my pocket and text Alice, asking her to not come back at least until morning, unless something important comes up - and to find a reasonable way to get the message across to Nellie as well.

With that worry out of the way, I grabbed the checkered scarf I had just bought for Bella and followed the sweet trail of lavender through the halls and to the bedroom. And there she was: on her knees, near the bed, waiting patiently.

" _God, you look amazing. Please, do absolutely anything you want with me._ "

I smiled, happy that her mind let out way more than she normally would. There was no censoring of her desire when I had a front row seat to her brain.

I stepped in front of her, holding the scarf in one hand.

"So, I take it you like what you're looking at, beautiful?"

" _Adore_ ," she corrected me.

"Good. Take one last look, because you won't be able to see for much longer."

She raised her eyes at me, comprehending the meaning of my words as soon as she saw the scarf in my hand. I leaned over her, letting the chiffon graze her clavicle before placing it over her eyes and tying it up behind her head.

"You know, I'm feeling a little greedy tonight," I murmured as soon as I was done with the scarf.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean, love, is that as much as I want to experiment with at least a dozen of ways to make you come…" - I started unbuckling my belt as I spoke - "I really, really want you to make me come first."

" _Oh, God, yes! Just tell me what to do_."

I placed the belt on the nightstand, convinced that it would prove to be useful later on. Bella stretched out her arms in front, searching until they found what they wanted. She quickly unzipped my pants and grabbed my member in her hands. I suppressed a groan when I felt her hand move up and down my length - a difficult thing to do, since it felt so unbearably good and her thoughts were blazing me with their ardour.

"Not like this, my love," I offered gently, removing her hand. "I want you to take me in your mouth."

"You know I was getting there."

"I know. I want you to get there _now_."

My command set her mind aflame with need. I had always known how much she loved being subjugated in the bedroom, but I realized I had only known the surface level of her desire. This yearning went so deep for her, dominating her every synapse, taking over every cell in her body. Her mind showed me that she didn't just like to let go of her control; she _needed_ it - and she knew that if she did that, I would take the reins for her and she would be safe.

After so many weeks of being in control of keeping everyone safe, it was no wonder Bella needed to let go of all responsibilities.

I watched in awe as her lips parted and she took the head of my shaft in her mouth, gliding along my length slowly, languorously. This almost felt as good as being inside her. The warm pressure surrounding me felt transcendental, making me forget the world around me. Hastily, my hand locked in her ponytail, pulling down on it, and forcing myself out of her mouth.

"Tell me how much you love this, Bella," I growled, my tip still brushing against her lips.

"It's all I want right now," she gasped, but her words stopped soon when I pushed my penis back in.

"Yes, take it all the way in, my love. Let me fill you up."

" _Yes, please, any way you want it!_ "

God, how I loved her enthusiasm! It translated extraordinarily in the way her mouth and tongue worked together to please me. I kept my hand in her hair, guiding her every once in a while - not that she truly needed guidance, since by now she knew exactly which buttons needed pressing to push me over the edge.

She sucked and licked and lapped, allowing her nails to dig deeper and deeper in the flesh of my hips as she did. Every once in a while, she would raise her head a little, only to remember that she could no longer meet my gaze, now that her vision was obstructed by the scarf.

I made no effort to hold off my orgasm when I felt it building in my core. Instead, I let the current spread through my body slowly, until it engulfed every possible tissue, carrying me past the point of no return. I almost didn't realize that the roar rippling through the air was my own until I felt the venom gush out of me and right into Bella's throat. She swallowed immediately, pursing her lips to form a tighter vacuum and wringing more venom out of my body in the process. She accepted everything, gulping down every last drop of my climax and pushing me into an all-consuming frenzy, that devoured every last bit of reason within me.

As I was recovering, still moving slowly between her lips, Bella's train of thought was more or less the same as mine: she wanted more. And she deserved more, so much more than what I had given her so far.

"This was absolutely divine," I sighed, taking a step back and looking at her. She was still on her knees, her chin pointed up in my direction, even if she could not see me.

" _If we keep this up, I might come without you doing anything to me._ "

This possibility sounded particularly enticing.

"That's an intriguing idea, but no. I'd like you to climb onto the bed, spread your beautiful legs wide and wait for me. Keep the shoes and the scarf on."

"Yes, Edward."

She was already imagining all the ways in which I could - and I would - take her. Compliantly, she climbed on the large bed, lying on her back and getting in the position I had asked her to. She looked impossibly inviting, with her black lingerie seizing her body, her wetness painting her slit and her thighs, her heels topping off the already decadent sight. I did not move my eyes away from her as I went to the corner of the room, where my baggage was sitting.

Opening it, I already knew what I needed, for I had been studying Alice's gift plenty of times since I had received it - four sets of thick single dynamic rope, so that the chances of Bella accidentally breaking free would be minimal. I unwrapped them carefully, before going back to the bed where my wife was waiting.

"Goddamn, Isabella… if only you could understand how mouth-watering you look right now."

I undid the first set, the rope falling with a silent thud on the bedding.

"Tell me what you're doing now, please," she whispered.

"Right now," - I started wrapping the chord around her thigh, as tightly as possible, going down her leg with a spiral pattern - "I am tying you up really good, so that I can fuck you without any impediments. Open your legs wider, I want to see how wet you are when I'm doing this."

She whimpered delightfully, parting her thighs even more, revealing herself to me. I found myself unable to resist the sight - before I knew it, my hand was moving fervently against her swollen folds. She arched her back and cried out, pushing her hips upwards, so that she could meet my hand fully.

"Keep doing that!"

"Mmmmm, you're so ready for me," I uttered appreciatively and retreated my hand a few seconds too early, much to her dismay. "That's enough for now. You'll get more as soon as I finish my job."

" _Please, just fuck me already! I'm begging you!_ "

"Patience," was all I said, my voice poised even if her words had set my entire being on fire.

I quickly licked her juices from my fingers, before proceeding with my task. I rolled the rope around Bella's ankle a few times, then continued to wrap the rest of it around the bedpost, making several knots along the way. It was tough to rein in my own zeal when every part of me was acutely aware of the fact that after so much waiting, we finally had time to live out this most salacious fantasy.

Bella waited impatiently for me to finish, her mind encouraging me to hurry. By the end, she was laying on the bed spread eagle, her arms and legs tied up to the bed - the most alluring view in the entire Universe. There was just one last thing I wanted to do.

Grabbing the belt from the nightstand, I stretched it with care, allowing Bella to recognize the object going by sounds alone.

"Do you know what this is, love?"

"It's… uhm, your belt."

"Good. And do you know what we do with belts?"

A flash image of me whipping her ass with it went through her head, igniting me with its intensity.

"I love where you're going with this and I'll make sure to keep it in mind, but I'd like you to try again."

"Well…" she muttered softly. "I know what you did last time."

"Do you? Refresh my memory."

Her chest was moving up and down with frenzy, as she was trying - and failing - to gain back some control over her breaths.

"You put it in my mouth... so that no one could hear me when you were fucking me."

"That's right, my love."

I leaned down to kiss her, then returned to my task. Watching her reactions closely, I slipped the strap of the belt under her head and pulled it over her face.

"What I would like, Bella, is for you to keep talking with your mind. Do you think you can do that?"

She nodded, her thoughts doing the answering for her.

"Perfect. Now you know how the rest of this works: open your mouth."

She did, taking the metallic buckle in her mouth and making a conscious effort to not bite down on it. I draped the leather strap around, closing it tightly. When I was finished with this, I pulled back to look at her. She was too beautiful for words, still unlawfully ingenuous even when she was tied up and ready to be taken. My hands caressed her face, her neck, her breasts, savouring the way that these light touches made her lose control of herself.

"Love," I murmured. "You might be my prisoner now, but I feel generous. So starting this moment, every wish of yours is my command."

It didn't take her long at all to accept this new game, her inner voice summoning her lust in one simple string of words: " _I want your mouth on me. Make me come like that._ "

She didn't have to ask me twice. I leaned down to plant a wet kiss on her neck, descending slowly over her clavicle, over her breasts, over her navel, and finally - thank God! - over my happy place between her legs. No words could capture the raw ecstasy of pressing my lips on her folds; I simply continued my wet kisses there, making sure my tongue was playing with her clitoris. The delectable scent enveloping me from everywhere made me intolerably hard.

" _Keep going, keep going, don't stop, I'm right there…_ "

I listened to her mental commands, licking and lapping in the exact rhythm that seemed to drive her insane. It didn't take long at all for her to explode. I felt the abundance of nectar gushing out of her before I noticed the way the muscles in her body started to strain and unclench. Her liquid orgasm slithered down my throat and I didn't stop working her with my tongue until she came once again, her screams muffled by the belt. There was not much in the way of her thoughts other than supreme bliss, so I figured I might as well continue my mission of devouring her and feeling her come apart on my tongue.

I kept this up for a long hour, completely lost in my sensations and her reactions. By the end of that hour, the sheets underneath us were completely soaked. However, we felt nowhere nearly done. Bella's desire had skyrocketed after so many orgasms, her mind loudly begging me to fill her up now. I had no desire, nor control, to draw our mutual pleasure out any longer, so I left the Heaven between her thighs with one last kiss and came on top of her.

"You're insatiable, aren't you?" I groaned.

" _You make me so. I never even knew feeling this way was possible_."

"Me neither," I admitted, stroking her clitoris lightly with the tip of my shaft, coating myself in her arousal.

She was once again struggling to not bite down the belt - she had been doing that a lot in the past hour.

"I'll let you bite when you come," I told her. "As hard as you want. You can break it, I don't give a damn."

She nodded immediately, her muscles tightening when she felt me slip inside her body. I moaned helplessly, feeling her tight walls sheathing me, covering me, pulling me deeper. My ego rejoiced with pride upon hearing her mental gratification regarding how full I made her feel, and I pushed with more resolve, until there was no more room to go further.

" _Yes, this is it! Don't back down now, please, I want it hard._ "

I groaned loudly, starting to move exactly how she had asked me to. Her palms had tightened into fists when she felt me push harder, faster, rougher, taking my unrestrained passion and accepting it, letting it possess every inch of her body, raising her excitement higher and higher and higher. Her thoughts were no longer coherent:

" _God… fuck… there… Edward, oh, my… don't stop..._ "

"Give in to me, love, I've got you…" I encouraged her between desperate grunts.

She knew what this meant: her teeth bit down the metallic buckle, breaking it in half in the heat of the moment. I felt her muscles vibrating all over me as I kept thrusting, ramming myself with full speed in her.

"Come with me. Now," I managed.

She spat out the remains of the belt and that was the end for both of us. Screams filled the air - mine, Bella's... it didn't even matter now, because we might as well have been the very same creature as the fiercest fire burst through our core and consumed us whole. My desire flowed in streams into her body, spilling over on her thighs, on my testicles, on the crumpled sheets under us. We were trembling and I needed to see her eyes more than ever. I pushed the scarf up, on her forehead, to meet her gaze. I slowed down as the last waves of our mutual orgasm were rocking us, unable to understand more, to see more, to know more than one simple fact:

"You are my entire life," I sighed, leaning down to press my lips on hers - softly, a perfect contrast to our aggressive lovemaking and mind-bending shared climax.

"I can't live without you, Edward," she suspired, not moving away from our kiss.

For a while, we simply moved our lips together lazily, not quite doing anything else. When Bella moved her hips, making me aware of how deep I was inside her still, my hunger came back doubled, without a warning.

"Again?" she whispered.

"You bet."

And we made love once again. And again. And once more. At some point, I untied her - only to tie her up again, so that she could face the mirror in front of the bed and see how absurdly beautiful she looked in these moments.

Caught in this string of inexhaustible lust, I barely registered the fact that outside, the city had begun to wake up, slowly leaving the night behind. All I could hear, see, smell, taste was Bella - she had taken over my senses, my conscience, my veins, my pores, becoming one and the same with my being. I didn't know how or when, but I had completely lost my perception of where our bodies ended and our souls began.

But as the pale morning light was making its way through the champagne curtains, reality slowly came back to us. And there was one thing that seemed more certain than any other: I had never dreaded a morning more than the one that was looming over us.

* * *

**Sooo, anyone else needs a cold shower?**

**As much fun as Edward and Bella had in the hotel room, we all know what's coming next: the night of the werewolf. So buckle up for that!**

**If you've got any thoughts on this chapter or the story in general, I'd love to read them and, of course, respond to them :).**

**Stay safe and happy out there, guys!**


	26. Rampaging

**This chapter has a graphic violence trigger warning, so proceed with care.**

* * *

It was late at noon when Alice had the vision. The scene in her head had been short: Aro, briefly touching the hands of several humans I had seen before: the woman at the check-in register at the Wilkins Aerodrome in Alaska, a security guard at the very same small airport and a mechanic. Then, shortly after, him telling his companions: 'It seems that our wandering friends have gone to Paris'.

We were all in the living room, with my siblings safely under Bella's shield, waiting for Carlisle to show up, when her vision happened. Alice tried to brush the vision off, knowing that they could not get here in time. Vampires were fast, of course, but it would still take them at least fourteen hours to get to Paris by running, which seemed to be their preferred means of transportation when they had Demetri on hand; and by the end of those twelve hours, we would be long gone.

Our worries had been halted - even if momentarily - when we felt Carlisle approaching. I had been the first to notice, his clear thoughts making their way to me through a myriad of many others. Soon enough, his scent became noticeable as well: the sun-dried fresh linens, the warm sandalwood, wrapped up in a thin veil of incense. A sudden warmth started building its way through my bones when I realized I would see my father again. It had been too long - the last time I had gone without him for an extended period of time, I was still young and prone to making foolish mistakes.

By the time I could hear the familiar cadence of his footsteps in the hallway, I was already at the door. I was no longer keeping track of the decisions my brain was making when I opened the door to meet him in advance - seconds later, Carlisle and I were wrapped in a painfully tight embrace, just two words leaving our mouths:

"Dad."

"Son."

This was the first time in a long time I felt lucky for not being able to sleep - this way, there was no doubt that this moment was completely real, not a chance of it being a frail illusion of my tired mind. My father was here and his arms felt good and completely like home, reminding me of the bottomless nature of his love. It almost didn't feel as if months had passed without seeing him, now that I could feel the warm, comforting sandalwood of his scent surrounding me.

I had no doubt that if I could, I would have cried like a child.

At some point, I felt more arms surrounding me, joining in our embrace. I stood still, accepting this compelling reunion, taking in every detail I could: Carlisle's laugh when he felt his other kids coming to hug him, Alice's over-excited mewling, Jasper getting high on our collective relief, Bella softly uttering 'Thank God!'. For a long while, it felt as if nothing in the world could have made this moment better. We didn't move, too drunk on the solace. And for a while, peace remained the only emotion flowing through me.

"Kids, as much as I love you all, we are being a little impolite," Carlisle murmured, pulling back slightly. "Why don't you introduce me to your little friend?"

I looked over my shoulder, to see Nellie standing in the doorway, a little unsure about what she should do next. The uncertainty remained hidden in her mind though, because she smiled and took a step forward, stretching out to shake hands with Carlisle.

"Hey, man," she said. "These people advertised the hell out of you, so I'm happy to meet you."

"I could say the same," he smiled, shaking her hand. "Edward here seems to have developed a soft spot for you, from what he's been telling me."

"Yeah, I guess he's pretty all right too," the kid smirked, winking at me. "When he's not a pain in the ass."

"Tell me about it, girl," Alice chimed in and everyone started laughing.

This felt right and I would have gladly spent the rest of the day simply basking in all the glorious sentiments that this reunion had brought. But time was never kind and it waited for no one - this much we knew. So when Jasper suggested we should get going, as much as we resented the idea, we complied without complaining.

* * *

The only legal entrance to the catacombs was the one meant for tourists, that led to a very small portion of the vast network of underground tunnels. These tunnels extended for over two hundred miles, winding themselves in unexpected loops under the streets of Paris. Certain parts of them were flooded, which meant that we needed rain boots and waterproof clothes before venturing inside them - and thanks to Alice, this proved to be a non-issue.

While there was no legal way to get underground, there were unofficial entrances scattered all over Paris: manholes, sewers, metro holes. The problem was that these very entrances were also used by humans - more specifically, cataphiles. These cataphiles liked to spend impressive amounts of time underground, exploring secret passages and trying very hard to not get caught by the police; the latter task was not particularly tough, since the police only patrolled the tunnels three times a week - and today was not one of those times. Still, we had to find a way to attract the werewolf underground and trap it there without coming close to the places that were frequented by cataphiles.

We checked out of the hotel a little before sunset. Alice's visions were already getting blurry, as the inevitable meeting with the werewolf grew closer. We had to part ways for the time being - Alice and Jasper were going to l'île Saint-Germain, a small island on the Seine, right outside of Paris, that was a thirty minute drive away from the airport. Nellie had told us that the werewolf could not swim; naturally, being on an island seemed like the most sound idea for the two of them.

The urgency in the air prevented us from saying a proper 'goodbye' - but maybe it was better this way, because that would have felt like signing a death contract. No 'goodbye' meant that we would see each other again. Soon.

We headed away from the city center using the car I had rented the previous day. The trunk of the car was heavy with all the titanium plates and cordless drills that Carlisle had bought and sneaked in his baggage. Neither I, nor Carlisle, knew anything about the underground map of Paris - the only thing that could offer us a tiny bit of help was the touristic rendition of the catacombs map I had bought the night prior. The accuracy of it was highly questionable though.

And because we needed to avoid humans, I had to use my bonus hearing to get a glimpse of where most cataphiles were situated. At first, this felt like an impossible mission - there were simply too many thoughts to keep track of. Thousands of them intermingled, making so much noise that it almost sounded like static - achingly loud, verging on painful static.

But as Carlisle was driving, I had started to find a pattern in the noise - the one coming from underground had its own hallmarks attached to it: flashes of musty tunnels and complaints about various smells and leakages. I tried to focus on those as much as I could. After one hour of driving around, I had made an entire mental map of all the places that we needed to avoid. The center and north-eastern parts of Paris had to be avoided at all costs. The western part didn't seem to be completely safe either, although it was far less populated at this hour. That left us with the bottom half of the city.

Carlisle parked the car in a crammed parking lot that was close to Jardin de la Dalle d'Ivry and we got out to grab all the supplies from the trunk of the car. The titanium plates and cordless drills were stacked in two large briefcases, while the cotton balls and a dozen lighters were in a backpack. Not expecting much, we tried guiding ourselves using the map I had bought. According to the map, there were supposed to be at least five secret entrances in the area.

Nellie offered to check herself, whether these entrances lead anywhere. With her small size and large hoodie, she could be easily mistaken for a homeless person, so most people would simply shrug if they saw her slipping inside a manhole. The first three possible entrances proved to be dead ends, leading nowhere in particular other than some shallow sewage systems. I was getting ready to throw the map in the nearest trash can, but Carlisle stopped me.

"We have nothing else to go by, what do we have to lose if we check the other two?" he said.

And as usual, my father had been right. The fourth entrance proved to be successful. Beyond the pipes and the dirt, there was a staircase of sorts. We had to take turns with entering - Carlisle had followed Nellie soon after, after we made sure that no humans were passing by. Bella and I had to wait another ten minutes before we got in, as a sudden influx of passers-by stopped us in the tracks. Wasting no time, I took her in my arms and kept her there, as my eyes kept studying our surroundings, waiting for the humans to scatter.

"Are you scared?" she asked after a while.

"Are you?"

"Answering my question with another question is not very helpful."

I sighed, a little too focused on my task and on the ever-darkening sky to pay attention to whatever I was feeling. But she deserved an answer, regardless of my mood.

"I don't know, Bella," I admitted. "No. Maybe. I can't really focus on that right now. I just want to get this over with without anyone - especially you - getting hurt."

I felt her lips tracing a delicate line from my clavicle to my throat when she spoke again:

"Well, I am scared. I want to protect you from that thing."

" _You_ want to protect _me_?" I made no effort to hide the bitter amusement in my tone. "I love your bravery, but please don't try anything out of the ordinary, like you did last time. It would kill me if anything happened to you again."

"Edward, I'm not stupid."

"No, you never are."

"I will use my shield to hurt it, like we've discussed. You and Carlisle fight it. Nellie distracts it with fire."

"Good. There is no need for other heroics this time, okay?"

"This goes both ways, you know?" she replied.

Her lips opened to let her tongue trail the side of my neck, making me momentarily forget my next words.

"Goddamn, come here," I growled.

Without any semblance of delicacy, I took her face in my hands and crushed my lips to hers. She moaned under my attack, but responded like I knew she would: interlocking her fingers in my hair, pressing herself against me, opening her mouth to allow our tongues to meet. Memories from last night came back in a rush, an entire deluge of lust overtaking me. I grabbed Bella's hair in my fist, pulling on it as my other hand fought to bring her closer to me. It felt as if we could not get close enough, no matter how we tried.

Another growl erupted from my chest when I felt her teeth sinking in my lower lip. In response, I let the hand that was in her hair wander to her neck - once there, I grabbed it tightly, refusing to let go and making her gasp from the sudden loss of air. We kept kissing each other, tasting each other, as if that could somehow solve all the problems in the Universe. There was nothing tender in the way our lips and tongues danced together; everything was primal and raw and desperate and unashamed.

I only stopped when I realized that there were no more people around. We let go of each other, the separation hurting my last remains of sanity. Carefully, we climbed down the manhole, where Carlisle and Nellie had been patiently waiting. Down here, there were no lights. Not that we needed such a thing, of course. The air was humid and putrid, dripping noises echoing through it.

"Good, now that we're here, we need to work fast," Carlisle said. "We'll leave this entrance open, so that it can catch your scent. But we need to cover as many entrances and exits as possible after that."

" _But that thing is strong as fuck, I can't see how this will stop it from escaping,_ " Nellie pondered silently.

"Well, from Carlisle's past experiences, this particular practice can confuse the werewolf," I explained to her. "It will already be plenty uncomfortable down here, since some passages might be flooded and it cannot swim, like you've said. It might not stop it all the way, but it will certainly keep it confused long enough for us to act."

"I hope you're right," she said.

A few hours passed as we ran through the black corridors, making a mental map of the places we had seen: the narrow passages, the deep corridors, the stairways, the flooded sections. Every once in a while, we would find an entrance or an exit - that was when the cordless drills, titanium plates and titanium screws came into play. Carlisle and I tried to cover every possible crevice. We stopped miles away from the passages where I had heard humans earlier that day.

Throughout our expedition, I could not help but wonder at all the silent proofs that humans had been here, way before us. In certain areas, the walls were painted with all sorts of symbols and scenes and caricatures, making the catacombs the most unexpected underground art museum. Something that especially piqued my interest, had been a small-scale stone castle. It looked old and unkempt, but the detailed turrets and arrow slits were most certainly the work of a skilled artist.

Beyond the art that boasted a grotesque aesthetic, we also came across several random items: pieces of clothing, lost harmonicas, used condoms, forgotten spray cans, decaying food. There were not many of either of those items, the underground being far better in terms of littering than the outside world.

It was a little after ten o'clock when we finally finished our job. Sewage water had managed to get inside our boots and clothes, despite Alice's best efforts to keep us in waterproof pieces. There was only so much that waterproof materials could do when you were getting waist deep through flooded tunnels. Now all we had to do was wait - but the waiting quickly became a problem. As much as I would have appreciated having the chance to properly lay out a battle plan, this was not the time, not when the Volturi were so sure about our whereabouts. The quicker we could get to fighting, the better it would be. But for all we knew, the werewolf had other victims on its radar as well.

"Do you know how humans have their little rain dances or whatever?" Nell asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

"Of course," Bella answered.

"I wish there was some equivalent to that in our world, so that we can summon this big dumb mutt."

" _It will come eventually_ ," my father's mind was a calm pool in preparation for the battle - quite the opposite when I compared it to the raging waves of my own.

"Not fast enough," I complained.

"I wish there was a way we could contact Alice right now," Bella said.

I had to agree - down here, there was no phone reception. The last visions she had been having, right before we parted ways, had not been too clear. They were once again blurry and interlaced with flashes of light, not quite helping us. This bad reception had frustrated her, but at least she had Jasper by her side, to calm her down.

"So Carlisle," Nellie began. "You've dealt with this stupid bullshit before, according to Edward here. How come these things still exist, if the Volturi presumably got rid of them?"

" _She's a little feisty with her words, this little one, isn't she?_ "

"I've tried talking some sense in her, but to no avail," I responded to his amused thoughts.

" _Look at him trying to talk sense in a tenenager! It becomes him._ "

"Well, Nellie," my father said, his mind still slowly processing this new piece of information. "You see, hunting them down was quite a laborious task. You know well that they only appear when the moon is at its fullest phase, so you could only hunt a maximum of two per night, if you were extremely lucky. Then there was the problem of identifying the territories they were roaming. At best, you could identify such a territory in advance if you were in the vicinity of a Child of the Moon one day prior to the full moon… that seemed to be the time the changes in the human body started to make themselves noticeable."

He was right, as I had learned myself. One night before coming face to face with the werewolf for the first time, I had felt its stench haunting around the tourist camp in Belaya Gora.

"This meant that you had very little to base the hunting on. You roamed certain areas, hoping that you might find something. The Volturi managed to kill most of them, but they could never track down the victims the werewolf had bitten."

"Say what?"

Nellie looked at me, then at Carlisle, confused at the sudden mention of biting.

"The werewolves feed on humans," I explained.

"I mean I figured they're not feeding on vegetables, but what's with the biting?"

"Well, when they are not… actively eating people, they bite them, to keep the mutated genes going forward," Carlisle offered. "They might not be rational beings, but they still have their species-preservation instincts within them. The problem is that this change is not as swift as a vampiric change - it takes an entire month for the wolf genes to settle in. A painful month at that..."

" _Gross. I mean it's not like we're much better, but fucking hell, man…_ "

I couldn't help but notice Bella's silence throughout this discussion. She had been next to me all along, her hand in mine, doing an excellent job at keeping her shield around me and Carlisle. To get her attention, I squeezed her hand lightly. She looked up immediately in response and I tried to search for an explanation in her gaze, but to no avail.

"Everything all right?" I checked.

"I don't know. This waiting feels off."

"True, but what can we do?"

She shrugged, not quite relieved by my reply.

More hours passed by, time moving painfully slowly. Midnight came and went, bringing nothing along with it. At this point, I knew that the full moon was far up in the sky. Meanwhile, Bella's anxiety had reached new levels - so high that I knew Jasper would have been driven insane had he been here.

"Maybe this was not such a good idea," she murmured, pulling me to the side. "We're already losing time here and Alice had seen the Volturi making their way to Paris."

"Bella, they would get here by the break of dawn. We won't be staying that long."

"You can't know that."

"The werewolf can't keep its animal form after the sun rises."

She still didn't seem convinced, but dropped it in the end. Carlisle kept telling Nellie stories from his past, to pass the time. As time went on, she started telling him bits and pieces from her life as well: how she used to sneak in movie theaters, how she stole books from various libraries, how she spent three days hunting sea mammals in the ocean one time, just for fun. They seemed to get along, but deep down they were both focusing on every little sound around us, expecting, awaiting a sign.

And deep into the night, right when we were starting to consider the possibility that somehow, someway, somebody else might have put an end to the monster's life, the sign came - it just wasn't the sign any of us had expected.

Miles away into the tunnels, a scream broke out - a regular, human scream, that belonged to a man. We froze in place, not making any other sound. I tried picking up the trace of his thoughts, but he seemed to be a little out of my hearing zone. The screaming kept echoing through the catacombs, not once stopping, simply growing more desperate.

" _I thought we had closed most entrances in the southern area, how did a human get in here?_ " Nell tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Carlisle, what's going on?" Bella whispered, right as I was pulling her and Nellie behind me.

"I'm not sure."

" _He sounds as if he is in pain. And I can smell blood. I don't understand. Wait, it's not just blood..._ "

While my father was analyzing the situation at hand, I could hear the screaming growing closer - close enough that I could now hear his thoughts. But the thoughts did not help much: all I could hear was a series of French slurs, the darkness of the tunnels being too overwhelming for his human eyes.

But just as Carlisle's thoughts revealed, there was more - I just hadn't noticed it before due to the sudden, unexpected, blood-curdling screams. Beyond them, there was thudding. The thudding came in three different cadences: first, the frail beating of the man's heart; then, another heartbeat - but more violent, more powerful; and in the end, the thumping sound of running.

"It's coming," Bella gasped.

"And it's not alone," Nell inferred.

"You two, please don't get closer than necessary," I warned. "Carlisle?"

"I have your back, you have mine, son."

I nodded, waiting, ready for what would come. I could not afford a failure tonight. I owed it to Bella and my family not to.

Nothing could ever truly, fully prepare a man for a war, no matter how low or how high the stakes of it were - for when the enemy stepped in the ring, there was no cure for the rage. For the hatred. For the hunger to kill. And when my enemy showed up, I had already given up all sense and logic. All that was left of me were my instincts - and they were ready for carnage.

The Child of the Moon stopped a few feet away from us. Its human eyes glistened, full of tricks; but its horrendous mouth - now open to reveal the several rows of sharp teeth - left no trace of doubt about its true nature and intentions. I could now see the source of the screaming with my own eyes - the werewolf had dragged a man with him. Its claws were stuck inside the man's jacket collar, keeping him on his knees, his face down on the wet pavement. The smell of blood was permeating the air in a way that set my lungs on fire in an instant. I heard Bella inhaling deeply this new scent, a soft growl building inside her.

"Don't," I hissed.

" _Edward, don't move until it does,_ " Carlisle's thoughts came through a haze to me, making me aware of my crouched position.

I made an effort and didn't move, waiting. As much as I wanted to turn around to make sure that Bella was keeping her poise, I could not move my eyes from the creature in front of us. With a grunt that sounded displeased, it threw the man to the side. I expected the sudden impact between the man's head and the ground to cause him to pass out, but that didn't happen.

A second look answered the silent 'why?' in my mind: I could now see, as the man was lying down with his eyes facing up, that a deep gash bedecked his cheek. It was shaped like two crescent moons facing each other, bleeding endlessly, and I understood immediately what I was looking at: the man had been bitten by the monster. And not only had he been bitten, his transformation had begun - and it was all pain, going by the sounds that kept pouring out of this throat and out of his mind.

But I had no time to dwell on that. The beast had started to examine me, its eyes seemingly understanding the menace in my posture. There was no more time to stand back. My impulses took the reins and I launched.

At this point, I should no longer have been surprised by the sheer brawn of the beast - yet I was still shocked when I found myself tossed to the wall with brutal force. I heard the old stone cracking from the collision. It took me just a second to return to my position - during that second, Carlisle had already rushed from his place, jumping behind the werewolf and kicking its rump hard, making it whimper.

" _Do you need me now?_ " Nellie's thoughts were a mess from the anxiety of seeing the monster again, but this one made its way to me as clear as a bell.

"Not yet," I growled, propelling myself over the werewolf from the other side.

This was good. Carlisle stood behind it, keeping its forelegs in a tight grip, while I stood in front of it. This could not be easier. I fended off its attempts to bite my face off, tilting myself over, so that I could stick my teeth in its chest. The blood that gushed in my mouth tasted bitter and wrong, so I spat it immediately, dodging the creature's teeth once again when it leaned down over me.

While Carlisle and I were battling with the beast to lock it in a helpless position, I was aware of the things happening in the background: the bitten man kept his agonizing chanting, not once stopping; Nellie was studying my every move, ready to jump in at any moment; meanwhile, I had no idea what went through Bella's head and I could not see her, but I prayed that she would keep it together, despite the smell of blood in the air.

Not only did she keep it together, but she took us all by surprise when, with what I could only guess was a laborious effort, she extended her shield to cover the monster as well. While her power was very much invisible, the effect it had was anything but that: the werewolf cried out in pain, forming a sinister harmony with its victim, and its knees bent, ready to give in. Its muscles were trembling underneath the thick dark fur.

"Now, son," Carlisle instructed. "Reach for the heart."

I wasted no time and did as I was told - but my effort got interrupted when, with the last remains of power that it had, the creature ripped itself from Carlisle's grip and started running in the opposite direction.

"Hell, no, it's not going away," I spat my words and, before finishing the sentence, I was already running.

I could hear the rest following close behind me - and in the ever-distant background, the man kept screaming, left alone in the darkness, a mere afterthought in my head.

" _We should get it to go through a flooded tunnel,_ " Carlisle reflected.

"You're right," I said.

The only problem was: how would we get it to do such a thing on its own? Its sense of smell would naturally keep it away from its weaknesses. The werewolf might not have had an ounce of reason in its brain, but it still had its self-preservation instincts - and those very instincts prevented it from entering any of the side chambers that connected the way to the flooded parallel tunnel.

There was, however, a small chance that we could divert its track - after all, water was not its only weakness.

"Nellie, can you help me with some fireballs?" I asked, not once slowing down my running.

" _Of course! I was waiting for my cue._ "

"Throw them right in front of the wolf. There's a halfway flooded tunnel that runs parallel and I want to get it to change direction."

"You've got it."

All too used to this task, the kid wasted no time. Three seconds later, I saw fireballs flying over my head. With her precise aim, they landed six feet in front of the werewolf, on the cold cement, slowly burning out. This seemed to have the desired effect: the werewolf got startled and made an erratic jump over the fire in front of it. Then it kept running.

" _Fuck, it didn't work._ "

"No, keep going, kid!" I encouraged, jumping over the fireballs on the ground as I ran.

She listened to my advice, even if she didn't seem entirely convinced by its efficacy. More fireballs flew over my head, landing in front of the monster. And it didn't work - at first. Minutes later into this chase, seeing that there was no escape in sight from the fire, the werewolf finally gave in and did what I had been hoping it would: it turned left, disappearing into one of the many connecting chambers. We followed immediately.

The chamber itself was ridiculously small, but it led the way to a staircase. The staircase went even deeper underground - I could feel the scent of stale water floating in the air and I almost started laughing with joy over the fact that we had managed to bring the mutant creature down here. The walls bordering the staircase were tight even for us, which meant that it was particularly tough for the werewolf to slip through them.

I heard cracking noises before I realized what was happening.

The next second, the tight walls were no longer there. A raucous booming filled the air as they collapsed all over us. I only got to see a glimpse of the werewolf elbowing its way through the narrow space and destroying the fragile structure in the process, before getting buried under the falling ceiling.

"Bella!" my voice called out in an instant, purely out of instinct, dust and pebbles from the ruins above me getting inside my mouth. I knew she could not get hurt by this, but there was no room for reason when it came to her safety.

"She's right by my side _,_ " Carlisle's voice came over me like a blanket, comforting and warm.

"I'm right here, I'm good," she said.

I made my way out of the wreckage, spitting the dust and pebbles in my mouth, to see my father helping Bella out. My relief, however, did not last long. I realized that Bella's shield had snapped back at some point during this collapse and there were no more thoughts for me to hear. What I could hear, however, just dozens of feet away from us, were the noise of water splashing and the displeased barks of the monster.

"Nellie," I gasped, suddenly realizing that she was nowhere in sight.

"Oh, God, no," Bella seemed just as horrified as I was when our eyes met for the shortest second.

Not saying another word, all three of us started climbing further down, going deeper and deeper down this rabbit hole. We reached the flooded area in no time. Down here, the water came just a little above my knees, so trying to swim in it would have been useless. Had I had any blood left in my veins, it would have curdled at the exact moment I heard the next sound.

Beyond the far-away cries of the wounded man above, beyond the water dripping endlessly from the ceiling, beyond the thoughts I could not hear for the moment, Nellie's scream alerted me in an instant.

I followed the sound, barely feeling the water as I was moving through it with speed. It didn't take me longer than three seconds to arrive, yet it still felt as if a painful eternity had passed when I finally got there. And when I arrived, I knew I was too late.

Nellie's arms were floating in the water, separated from her body, surrounded by all the lighters she had brought. She was kicking and screaming, caught in the grip of the werewolf, with no chance to escape. If there had ever been any trace of humanity left in me after my transformation, its very last remains melted right that moment. Seeing the only kid I had ever cared about hurt - a kid that had already suffered too much in her short existence - made me lose all hope of a reasonable fight. All I knew was that I had to save her, so I launched mindlessly, barely realizing that I was not alone in my attack.

With the corner of my eye, I noticed my father sinking his teeth in the monster's thigh, making it howl with pain. I took this as an opportunity to do the same with its tricep. The werewolf quivered, enough to loosen its grip on Nellie and for Bella to grab her and move her away.

"Grab her arms!" I shouted, spitting the toxic blood into the water. "She'll heal with venom."

I wasted no time as I talked, snatching the werewolf's arm and twisting it around, until I heard the bones in his shoulder cracking loudly - still not as loud as Nellie's gut-wrenching crying. I wanted nothing more than to help her right this moment. But she had Bella for now, and my wife had experienced first-hand what it meant to patch a vampire back up.

Seeing that the bones of the creature were already healing, I tried kicking it in the groin. Carlisle took advantage of this momentary distraction and twisted the other arm around, breaking it. Barks of agony echoed off the moist walls surrounding us, and I felt a pang of delight. _Good_ , the monster was suffering. As it should. I wanted it to feel every bit of pain it had caused to those I loved, only much worse.

Through the mist of this back and forth wrestling, I felt the thoughts of Nellie and Carlisle coming back to me - at first, merely a whisper; and then clearer and clearer, as Bella's shield was molding around me.

" _God, this hurts like fucking hell_!"

" _I can't reach its heart!_ "

" _My lighters are all wet. And fuck, it hurts!_ "

" _This is not enough_..."

Everything was coming apart in front of my very eyes and I knew I had to do something. But each time I tried to get the upper hand, the werewolf would try to attack my father, and vice-versa. In this vicious cycle we were caught in, our only hope sprung timidly from dozens of feet away from us, where Bella was taking care of Nellie. Just like before, I was not able to see what she was doing, at least not at first. But I understood what was happening as soon as the beast started bellowing helplessly - it was, once again, under her shield.

"Don't let it escape," I growled, kicking the now-weak knees of the animal and making it kneel.

"Not a chance," Carlisle agreed. "I'll hold it down, son."

With a swift movement, Carlisle positioned himself behind the werewolf and kept its arms in his firm grip. It was no easy feat, going by his thoughts and the sheer strength of the animal, but Bella was making our mission much easier with the way her shield expanded to sheath the enemy, weakening its ability to overpower us.

Without thinking further, I grabbed the creature by its throat with my hands, trying to prevent any possible attempts of it biting me. I felt its vocal chords trembling under my palms and I pushed deeper, to block the flow of air. _Let it suffer a little more_. And using nothing else but my teeth, I started burrowing my way through its chest. I advanced through the fur and the skin and the muscles and the fat and the blood and the broken ribs, seeking the rhythmic pulse that hid beneath all these protective layers.

It all tasted like death: metallic and noxious and abhorrent. But I pushed through, letting the blood roll on my tongue and splatter on my face, getting closer and closer to the source of it. When my teeth grazed what felt like pulpy tissue, I knew this was the point of no return. My mouth opened wider in anticipation and I bit with all my force.

With the last remnants of air in its system, the Child of the Moon howled one final time.

There was rarely pleasure in killing any being - but when I backed down with the werewolf's heart in my teeth, I felt nothing but supreme contentment. No regret passed through me when I spat the organ into the water. This loss of life did not make me feel nostalgic in any way, shape or form.

The fog of victory surrounding my head almost made the scene in front of my eyes unfold in slow motion: Carlisle ripping the limbs of the beast, Bella grabbing the lighters from the water and trying to dry them with the sleeves of her shirt, Nellie standing up and moving her arms around with great care.

"We need to get these out of here and burn them," Carlisle said. "And the heart too. Come on."

Mechanically, I helped my father carry the broken limbs and the organ through the tunnel. I was aware that Bella and Nellie were close behind us, talking in soft murmurs and trying to find out which lighters still functioned. The euphoria of the fight started to dissipate when we climbed up the stairs, to the passage above us, where the screams of the wounded man were resonating clear as a bell.

" _We need to get back and spare that man's pain_ ," my father pondered.

I ignored this, throwing the broken limbs on the ground. This was the last step before we were truly free to go. Bella and Nellie came by my side, and out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around them, watching as they pressed on the ignition buttons of the lighters, before throwing them over the remains of the werewolf. Flames burst violently in an instant, the fumes emitting a stench so foul it would have made me throw up had I been human.

"It's gone," my wife whispered.

"To hell with it," Nellie replied.

I held them close, barely registering the fact that in the background and far away from us, the man was still screaming. But it seemed that my father was still very much aware of that:

" _We need to help him now._ "

"There's no time," I said.

"He will change, Edward. We cannot let another monster like this out in the world."

"I agree, but it's too late."

"We can spare him a life of being a demon, son. It'll only be minutes."

"Carlisle…"

"It is the humane thing to do."

His tone was kind, but firm, not leaving much room for arguments. I did not like this, but he was, in his own way, right, as usual. I wasted no more time arguing and, together with Bella and Nell, followed his lead when he started running through the dark passage, towards the source of the sound. We found the man in no time, right where we had abandoned him when we left to chase after the werewolf.

The two crescent moon wounds on his cheek were no longer bleeding. A thin, crusty scab seemed to cover them now, but it appeared that the pain had not subsided a bit. The noises he made were incorrigible - his mind wasn't much clearer, playing on repeat the very moment he had been bitten.

"You poor, poor soul," Carlisle muttered, kneeling by the man's side.

I did the same, the profound sadness of my father overwhelming me. He was grieving for this man, even if he had never met him. He was grieving for the lost humanity - and for the fact that there was no way to get it back.

" _Just hold his hand in these last moments_."

I did as told and stood still as Carlisle started whispering the Lord's Prayer. Understanding the deep sorrow of his mind, I took the reins and, as soon as the prayer had been finished, broke the man's neck with one swift motion. Lost in the fire of the transformation, he had not even felt his demise. It was quick and pain-free, as opposed to what he had felt up until that point.

I expected silence to follow, once the man's pulse echoed through the catacombs one last time. Instead, I realized I was hearing more thoughts than I should have. None of them far enough away to be coming from somewhere above us. None of them in French. None of them accompanied by a heartbeat.

Bella and Nellie were already by my side when I stood up to scour the darkness ahead. Once again, I wrapped my arms around them, holding them close, where I knew they were safe. From the black nothingness, four shapeless figures emerged, their eyes red and their skin paper-like, just as in Carlisle's paintings.

"Olly, olly, oxen free!"

The voice that broke the silence was sinisterly jolly and child-like, even if it belonged to a man.

I stood frozen, gripping Bella's waist so tightly that it made her twitch from pain. Nellie remained unmoved on my other side. I felt all of my nightmares coming to life at once when I heard Carlisle speak:

"Hello, Aro."

* * *

**I can't believe I'm saying this, but... we are in the endgame now, guys.** **Hang in there to find out how it all unfolds!**

**Any thoughts on this chapter - small or big, critical or positive - are welcome, as always. And if you've got any theories on what might happen next, I'd love to read them! It is my pleasure to respond to everyone :).**

**If you need a good dose of Edward and Bella fluff after everything that happened this chapter, you can check out the outtakes I've written for the story.**

**Thank you all for reading and hanging on throughout this ride, you are the best!**

**Stay safe and happy!**


	27. Bartering

At some point in her human days, Bella had said that the Volturi appeared to be rather angelic, judging by the grand painting that Carlisle had in our old home in Forks. I tried making sense of her words then, with not much success - after all, she had always been quick to see beauty even in the vilest of places. But having them in front of my eyes now, without the filter of acrylic paint to soften the blow, I could not see, for the life of me, what could possibly be angelic about these beings.

Their skin was almost translucent in its whiteness, all the centuries of being alive having left a mark. Their eyes, bright crimson and shallow as a rain puddle, bore no resemblance to ours. Their very presence held something otherworldly within it, making me feel as if I had arrived at the gates of the Inferno and met the guards.

Aro looked almost frail, with his short stature and his thin veil of long black hair sharpening his features, but there was no doubt about the fact that he was the leader. He had stopped one step in front of the others, a smile stretching the thin skin on his cheeks. Right behind him, I recognized Demetri.

Just as tall as I was and with a lean figure, Demetri was not only a gifted tracker - he was also a fighter. I could see it in the way he was carrying himself like a feline, each movement fiercer than the one prior. He stood in contrast to the short kids next to him.

The kids were younger than Nellie, their features so similar that there was no doubt about the fact that they were twins. The girl, Jane, had short hair, just like her brother, Alec. The only notable difference between them could be found in the plumpness of their lips.

One thing and one thing only kept me sane in front of this most unwanted meeting: my wife, who was holding tightly to me, reminding me that we could never - not even once, not even by accident - afford to be separated.

But we had been late - or rather, the werewolf had been late, and we were now paying the price. This delay had brought us here, face to face with a fate I could not accept.

"Young friends," Aro smiled. "It seems that we can never have a moment alone, with all this traveling you've been doing. You are quite the globetrotters."

" _How I've waited for this!_ "

"Long time no see," my father offered with an amiable voice.

"Indeed, Carlisle. And to meet in such circumstances, what were the chances? Introduce us to these kids of yours."

"Of course. These are Edward and Bella. The young one is Nellie."

"So she does have a name," Jane noticed in an even tone.

" _She looks just as sour as the last time I had seen her, no surprise here_ ," Nellie's thought echoed in my brain. " _It's a good thing I get to have her and her dumb brother's powers_. _Hm, I wonder if they can tell. The bitch looks like she could use a taste of her own medicine again._ "

I noticed a quick exchange of fiery glances between the two girls, reminding me of their old vendetta, from back when Jane and Alec had tried to recruit her into their clan - and the little one, being her usual self, had taught them a lesson using their own gifts against them.

"Ah, how wonderful!" Aro quipped, ignoring Jane, his eyes darting from me to my wife, making me grip her tighter out of instinct. "Bella, the youngest member, of course. Your cousins told me all about you."

"A true beauty," Demetri noticed, glancing up and down at her.

" _I wouldn't mind at all if the Master brought her to Italy._ "

It took every ounce of my control not to launch at him then and there and rip him to pieces. His remark had set me ablaze, making me all too eager to prove that Bella was off the table for anyone else but me.

I had not realized how tense I had been until I felt my father's hand on my shoulder, patting me - gently, but warningly.

" _Easy, please,_ " his thought kept me in control enough for him to do the talking:

"Edward and Bella are each other's mates. He changed her back in summer."

"So I've heard," Aro murmured. "Her tiny blunder made the news, after all."

" _A Cullen failing is such a rare sight. But beautiful, nonetheless_."

"Giving away a good part of who we a-," Jane started, but stopped when Aro motioned her to do so. When he started speaking, he sounded overly-affected, almost as if he had rehearsed these words on numerous occasions:

"I'm just so, so very sad that we never got to sit down and discuss this properly. You just disappeared from Forks, leaving us no chance to understand things."

If I hadn't known better, thanks to all the stories Carlisle had told me over the decades and his thoughts, I would have believed that he was actually being reasonable.

"We had a treaty with the shapeshifters in La Push," Carlisle explained. "It was our only option, I'm afraid."

"So very sad!" Aro repeated.

" _Running away like that is not a good look for Carlisle's clan_."

I could feel Bella's body tensing up in my embrace.

"And so you traveled," he added. "All around the globe. Making new additions to your family as well, if I'm not mistaken?"

His eyes had stopped right on Nellie.

"She's with us," was all I said.

" _I had expected to see Alice_."

"Alice is not here," I told him.

God, I could only pray that Alice and Jasper had left by now, if she had had this particular vision. They were both aware that we would not want them to come after us, now that we had been found.

"No, but she's not that far away, is she? Demetri here could finally get a trace of her."

Aro's tone was reproachful, silently blaming Demetri.

"Actually, if I may..." Alec began, looking at his leader to receive permission. "We were getting close to her, when we'd heard all that howling."

"We recognize Children of the Moon from miles away," Aro explained. "With the great threat their kind poses on ours, we must always make sure we eliminate them when we meet them."

" _And what a surprise to stumble upon something else entirely! And what a joy!_ "

"Of course," Carlisle agreed. "Well, we took care of this one in particular, there is no need for further intervention."

"So I see. And we are most thankful for that, _miei giovani amici._ We do not let these deeds fade without acknowledging them with a reward. Although you could have asked for our help."

"We managed on our own," I said.

" _Son, please keep to yourself_ ," Carlisle's inner voice came in a pleading wave to me. " _Aro's temper can be triggered by anything_."

I simply nodded, closely examining the minds surrounding me. Beyond the surface amiability, something else was boiling. I could not understand completely what, since their thoughts seemed to be weirdly monotone, not giving away as much as I would have liked.

"And how exactly did you come across this Child of the Moon?" Aro demanded.

"My wife and I were on Siberian lands two months ago," I answered. "We were just unlucky, I suppose."

"Oh, so you met it while you were _on the run_."

He made sure to emphasize the last words. I felt a growl building in my chest, but I remembered my father's words and stopped the need to let it out right in the tracks.

"Aro, old friend," Carlisle began. "Now I know that what had happened in Forks months ago is indeed problematic. But I would be so very grateful if you wouldn't hold it against my children and my family. We tried to bribe the witnesses, but the check never made it to them. The news died down in the end anyway."

The red-eyed vampire scoured my father with doubtful eyes. This explanation did not suit the fake narrative he had created.

"Except they didn't," he pointed out. "Not fully. That man is still out there telling stories to whoever is willing to listen."

"With all due respect, he would not be doing that if you had not sent Chelsea and Heidi to Forks to kill his wife," I replied.

" _For God's sake, son, can you listen to me once?_ "

" _Young Edward's not afraid to speak his mind. It just goes to show how right I've been about him. He'd be great in the guard. Although he'd have to learn the importance of being more submissive._ "

Silence fell over us. I was acutely aware of the fact that Bella's hand, now closed in a fist over my chest, was currently my only anchor. She had remained silent throughout this meeting and I desperately wanted to know what went through her mind right this second. Was she scared?

"But the question remains: have we _really_ done that?" Aro asked, smiling innocently.

I felt Bella's fist tightening over my chest. I tried making sense of this gesture of hers, with no success - it could mean anything. Then, out of nowhere, she started speaking:

"Alice saw it in her visions, so the answer is obvious."

"Love, don't…"

"But it's true!"

She looked up at me, an unknown fire burning in her eyes. Suddenly, I could hear the direction of Jane's thoughts changing - they were no longer stagnant, waiting for a command. She was getting ready to attack, the thrill of inflicting torture making her unaware that her power was no longer hers to use, but Nellie's.

"I'm afraid there is no evidence of that, _dolce_ Isabella," Aro cooed, taking one more step in our direction; out of instinct, I pulled her behind me. "A vision that most people would not be able to see with their own eyes proves nothing. Your mistake is posing a great threat to our kind."

"I am aware of my mistakes. But this one is not mine, you can not pin it on me just because-"

"Bella," Carlisle's voice was firm when he interrupted her.

Aro made another step towards us and it was becoming impossible to suppress my territorial growl when his eyes started studying my wife. There was no lust in his thoughts - he appreciated her beauty, of course, but that was not the reason behind the act of licking his lower lip. Instead, he was curious.

"You're a rather intriguing presence," Aro pondered. "A little feisty, like your husband seems to be, but intriguing nonetheless. I would like to see more."

Another step and he was standing right in front of us. I had never held Bella tighter. Death was a preferable option to letting go of her right now.

"You see, I am somewhat of a thought-reader," he continued calmly, looking directly at her. "The difference between me and your mate is the fact that I have to touch you to get a glimpse into your mind. But when I do, I can see everything."

"I know," she replied flatly. "Carlisle had told me."

"Of course he did," he grinned. "Your hand, please?"

There was no room for 'no' in his voice. Still, I refused to let her go. Aro waited patiently, not once showing any signs that he might have changed his mind. Rather reluctantly, my Bella liberated herself from my arm and stepped in front, with her hand stretched in front of her. I immediately grabbed her waist, not bearing the idea that she would be out of reach for even a second.

Aro's eyes studied my possessive hand carefully, as his palm met Bella's.

" _He is rather proprietorial. It seems that they have found their one true bond. This might be a problem._ "

As these thoughts were roaming through his head, he started realizing that something was not right. He had expected a cascade of memories to wash over him; instead, all he could hear were the trials and tribulations of his own mind. His brow furrowed in frustration for the shortest moment, but he let nothing out. Confused, he gripped her tighter and, contrary to any expectations, started laughing.

A laugh so maniacal, so oddly-placed, that it made me freeze in place.

"Now that's just marvelous! I hear absolutely nothing."

He let Bella's hand go, and they both stepped back - Bella closer to me, Aro closer to his own group. The incertitude in her eyes was mixed with something else: pride maybe?

"Now, I know from your cousins that you were immune to Edward here", Aro explained, still gleeful after his laughter. "It is another thing entirely that you are immune to me as well. Isn't it fascinating?"

"Of course, Master," Jane agreed. "Makes you wonder what else she is immune to."

" _After all, I'd put her on her ass in seconds_."

" _This could be interesting_."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, my dear Jane?"

This time, I no longer held anything back. I allowed my rage to come out in a loud growl, pushing Bella way back behind me. Then, everything seemed to happen at once.

Demetri hunched to attack.

Nellie moved away from me.

Carlisle urged me to just stand back.

Bella murmured a simple 'Don't'.

And Jane went from smiling to being on her back and crying out in pain in the blink of an eye.

I watched in awe as she was squirming on the ground, quietly processing the fact that Nellie was, in fact, the reason behind this. Alec tried to intervene, only to realize that he, too, was just as powerless as his sister.

"Master?" Alec sounded exasperated, the child in him coming to the surface.

Aro simply raised one finger to silence him, observing this new turn of events. As he did so, he realized he had seen Nellie before - in Jane's and Alec's memories, when they told him they had met the most annoying, yet also most useful vampire during one of their missions. He had been intrigued back then, but too caught up with his own issues to go searching for the kid. So he simply did something he was known for: he postponed.

"Now that's just not polite," he sighed.

Nell kept the pain going for just a few seconds more; when she stopped, Jane dropped to the floor with a gasp.

"This bitch was going to do the same thing to Bella," she said. "How is that fair in return?"

"An eye for an eye will make the world blind, child."

"Yeah, I don't vibe with that. How about you don't hurt us at all, so that we don't have to keep any kind of score?"

" _Do something, son,_ " my father's words were not calm this time, when they silently called me out.

"Nellie, dear, it's all right," I murmured, grabbing her shoulder with care, making her step back. "We apologize. She can be impulsive, but she really means no harm."

" _The hell I don't, old man. These fuckers are up to no good, you know it_."

Jane was finally recovering, sitting up, her eyes throwing dagger after dagger in our direction. She was getting ready to tell Nellie off, but decided not to when Aro spoke again:

"Perhaps we should try something less painful then. Alec?"

As opposed to Jane, Alec's gift was much more forgiving: he could deprive anyone of their senses, creating a powerful, inescapable illusion. This time, however, he would not deprive anyone of anything.

" _Good luck with that, bitch number two._ "

It didn't take long at all for Alec to realize that the power he was so certain of would not come to the surface. I gripped Nell's shoulder tighter when she was getting ready to prove to him that she could knock him out in seconds, just like she had done with his sister.

"If that isn't bewitching, I don't know what is," Aro inferred, chuckling with pleasure. "Can you control this power of yours, young girl?"

"Most times not, it's random," Nellie shrugged.

"Are you stealing my power as well as we speak?"

"Nope, I can only do two at a time."

"What a treasure. I'd like to know you better. Allow me, please."

Once again, he stepped in front of us, his movements so fluid that a pair of human eyes could have mistaken them for floating. Without asking, he grabbed her hand in his - but something about the shape of his fingers and the texture of his palm seemed to trigger an avalanche of painful memories for her, all starring her father, that made her gasp loudly. Some of them were blurry, from her human life, some of them crystal-clear, from her newer life.

"Shhh, you're all right, kid," I whispered, caressing her shoulder lightly, reminding her that there was nothing here to threaten the autonomy of her own body.

Nellie's mind was trying to push back the unwanted memories when slowly, out of nowhere, I realized that I could no longer hear her. Aro was met with nothingness as well. He frowned, waiting impatiently. It didn't take me long at all to understand what was happening here; sadly, it didn't take Aro long either.

"Once again, I see nothing," he grumbled, not letting go of her hand. "Is there any chance that this has anything to do with your power, Bella?"

"Yes," she answered simply, hiding nothing.

"I would very much appreciate it if you held back for now."

Bella shifted ever so slightly - ready to protest, if I had guessed right. But protesting would not have done us any favours.

"My love, just do as he says," I murmured in her ear.

When I had begun to hear the string of slurs in Nellie's head and witness the way Aro's mind started swimming with all the thoughts she had ever had, I realized that Bella had finally listened. Witnessing the avalanche of thoughts was an overwhelming experience, to say the least.

There it was, absolutely _everything_ : from the foggy memories of Nellie's past life - the sorrowful face of a woman that looked like her, broken bottles on the floor, the insides of a closet that she had once considered home, the face of a boy she had found endearing at some point, the hiding spots she would find to escape her abuser - to the more nuanced recollections of her life as a vampire - her first hunt, the first time her monstrous father had taken advantage of her in her new form, the conflicting feelings she used to have whenever he was being nice to her, the feeling of being trapped, the absurd idea that she might deserve it, the way that the monster would beat her when she would go out on her own.

But there were happy thoughts scattered in between too: the thrill of discovering her power, the day she had killed her abuser, the joy of sneaking in movie theaters and libraries, the way she had decided she liked Bella from the moment they met, the immense pleasure of being taught how to fly a plane, the unexpected fun of an emergency landing, the day she had told me the one secret she had always wanted to keep for herself, the unforeseen peace that came when she realized I had not judged her decisions one bit. Then the walk around Paris, the way the city looked from the ferris wheel, the ugly bracelet that was now hanging from her wrist, the gratefulness that had come with my and Bella's act of saving her from the werewolf.

This was a strange payback for all the times I had complained about not being able to hear her.

I was only snapped back to reality when Aro let Nellie's hand go. He sighed deeply, taking in every little detail he had just witnessed. Every eye seemed to be on him now, as he was composing himself enough to speak again.

"You haven't had the most pleasant life, child," he concluded after a while, stating the obvious. "But you're all right now, aren't you?"

"Yes," she answered sincerely.

"Edward and Isabella are not by any stretch of imagination your parents, yet you seem to feel some type of way towards them."

She didn't respond, at least not out loud. But I heard her unspoken affirmation nonetheless and held her a little tighter in response.

" _These bonds can be a problem… not unsolvable, of course, as long as we have Chelsea,_ " Aro considered. " _She'd be such a prize as well, but I will not get greedy. Her time will come_."

Once he reached this terrifying resolution to the conflict in his head, he continued with a clear voice:

"I wonder if they feel the same way towards you. And since Bella won't let me inside her mind, maybe Edward will. No tricks this time."

He looked directly at my wife when he voiced the last words.

"Fine, let's get this over with," I said.

I stretched my hand in front of me, looking him in the eye. He made no pause, holding my gaze when he took my hand in his. And just like before, I listened as the sound of his mind weakened, getting replaced with everything that had ever gone through my mind at once.

It was equal parts fascinating and unsettling to watch all of my thoughts flashing through his mind, invading him. There were barely any human memories left, the brightest one being the green eyes of my biological mother watching over me as she tucked me in to sleep. The rest I was all too familiar with: years upon years of living a half-life. Death and blood and justice and remorse and hatred and music and books and laughter and the best family I could have hoped for.

Then, powerful and bright like a comet shooting across the darkest galaxy, Bella.

With her scent and her well-guarded thoughts, she had awakened everything in me when we met. I relived with dread all the plans I had once made about killing her. I watched as my selfish frustration turned into love - slowly at first, as if I was too scared to let it envelop me, then all at once when I realized it was out of my control. A love so consuming that it had crept into my every cell, finding its forever home.

The painful musings of leaving her for her own good followed, intermingling with thoughts of thirst and were so many thoughts attached to one particular night spent in the Alaskan wilderness. I was relieved when they disappeared altogether, making room for the rest: all the nights spent practicing for our honeymoon in the darkness of her childhood bedroom, the heavenly bliss of seeing her walk down the aisle, the exciting trip to Rio, the way her body had welcomed me when I made love to her for the first time, our midnight swims, the night we danced on the beach, all the painful waiting we had had to endure once we went back to school, the unbearable happiness I felt when she moved into our house, the supreme bliss of feeding from her, the endless hours of holding her in my arms while my venom ran through her body, transforming every single atom into something I would cherish forever.

I was getting drunk on my own memories flashing through Aro's mind: Bella opening her eyes to her new life, the awe with which I observed her first hunt, the rapturous feeling of finally loving her - worshipping her, adoring her, fucking her - fully, with no earthly limits, the dread of seeing her human victims in a pile. And in the end, absolutely everything else that followed after, leading up to this particular moment in time.

Aro let go of my hand, a soft moan rolling off his lips when the connection broke, leaving him alone with his own mind again.

"What a spectacle!" he whispered.

I was back by Bella's and Nellie's side in no time. Carlisle's eyes analyzed me, full of concern, and I simply shrugged. He was getting progressively worried with the way this encounter was unfolding.

"To read every thought in a room at any given moment is one precious gift," he mused. "And my curiosity has been satisfied: it's not just the kid that finds you endearing. It's rather mutual."

" _He might miss her, but not nearly as much as he would miss his mate._ "

"So… a stealer, a mind-reader and a shield that's still rough around the edges,," Aro continued. "Quite the trio. If only Alice were here to make it a quartet."

Alice not being here was the only good thing about this whole charade. With the werewolf out of the way, I knew that her visions could be clear once again. I prayed that no vision of hers would bring her down this path. She and Jasper had to know better.

"Carlisle's got a small collection, it seems," Demetri noticed with a playful smile. "Who would have thought?"

"My father does not collect," I spat the words out. "We simply happen to be this way."

" _I might just break his jaw._ "

"I might just do the same with you," I replied to his hidden wishes.

He snarled at me, but didn't go further. He would not act without having Aro's blessing. The air was thick with anticipation and I felt the muscles in my body clench with the need to grab, punch, fight, rip, kill. I had to remind myself to do none of that, seeing that it could spell trouble for our family - as if we needed more than what we had already got ourselves into.

"Now, my young friends," Aro broke the freshly-fallen silence, as his mind was analyzing the dynamics within our group. "The Volturi are nothing if not understanding when faced with such powerful individuals. But you must be aware of your own mistakes as well. Decimating so many humans and leaving a witness behind, only to run away after, is a quite abhorrent act. In normal circumstances, we would leave none of you alive after that."

"We are sorry," my wife muttered.

"'Sorry' does not protect our species, _cara mia_. Our strong values, however, do. We have spent millennia keeping our secret. We cannot risk the truth getting out there just because someone has not been careful."

Jane and Alec smiled, quietly celebrating this public humiliation.

"But _because_ we are understanding," - Aro continued, making exaggerated gestures with his arms, reminding me of the pompous speeches that dictators would make - "we present you the gift of forgetting and forgiving. With one condition, of course."

"What's the condition?" Carlisle demanded, even if he already knew.

"I would very much like to have Edward and Alice in my guard, as a way to balance out the sins of young Isabella."

There they were - the words Alice had heard in her visions more than once. Words that I, too, had heard. They were as ice-cold and bone-chilling as she had predicted, yet somehow they still managed to make me feel as if my limbs had been ripped and thrown into the fire.

"I'm sorry, but you are not playing fair," Bella intervened, her voice more confident than I had expected. "Everyone here knows that this has been the plan all along. You killed Cochran's wife to get him to talk some more, making me and my family look bad on purpose. This is hardly a fair condition."

Aro raised his eyebrows, surprised by this. He had expected resisting, but he had not expected to be called out.

"Are you questioning my methods?"

"I am only stating that we are not fools."

" _She's right,_ " Nellie realized in silence. " _Oh, God, I can put them all on their asses right now, in fact. Oh, somebody hold me…_ "

I squeezed her shoulder harder, making her look up at me. I nodded 'no', wishing more than ever that she could hear what was going on inside my head. A fight with the Volturi could potentially end with a victory for us, thanks to the kid's ability to steal the lethal gifts of Jane and Alec. Without the twins acting as their strongest weapons, it would have been a fair fight. But their coven was far more numerous - so much so, in fact, that there could be no possible scenario in which we would come out alive after killing their leader.

" _I hate that you won't let me do this_ , _old man._ "

"As I have said before, there is no proof for your claims," Aro explained, his patience starting to grow thin for the first time tonight.

"You were talking about values earlier. How is deceiving a value for a coven as powerful as yours?"

A small part of me wanted to stop her. The bigger part was too busy being awestruck by the way she was handling this.

"You are young, Bella," Aro replied. "So very young, in fact, that you might not understand the way the world works."

"I know enough of the way the human world works, since I had been part of it until recently. I had expected higher values within the vampire world, but it seems that I have been wrong."

"You are talking a lot, but I want to get one thing clear: are you trying to tell me that death is the preferable option to you?"

He had dropped the affability in his voice, making me understand what Carlisle had meant when he alerted me about this man's easily-ignited temper. My father was getting ready to intervene, in a bid to stop the looming conflict, but I jumped in before he had the chance to:

"She is not. None of us want that, in fact."

"Of course not," she agreed. "That was not what I meant."

"Then be more precise before I change my mind."

I felt her body tremor in my embrace, but she did not back down, her voice sounding just as poised as earlier when she talked again:

"All I'm saying is… we've killed a Child of the Moon tonight. All by ourselves. And we even eliminated the man it had bitten. You mentioned how big of a threat their kind is to ours and that you do not let these deeds fade without acknowledging them with a reward. So please, _please_ , just let us go in return."

Aro watched her carefully, impressed, yet furious. He was now regretting ever letting those words out. But there was no going back now, and he knew it. He had already ventured into the muddy waters of deceiving once, he did not want to risk his chances of leaving this place with his reputation intact twice.

For a beautiful, short second, relief started seeping in my bones - Bella had found a way for us to walk out of these doomed catacombs together. Maybe this wasn't bad as I had feared. All these months spent on the run would not come to a dire ending.

But my relief came crashing to the ground as soon as I heard Aro's next words:

"You are making a valid point, even if a bit far-fetched. So here's my reward to you: we will get to bring back to Italy either Edward or Alice. We leave the choice in your hands."

"Friend, maybe if we could-"

"I'm already being mighty generous here, Carlisle," Aro interrupted my father. "One more word about this and I might just change my mind. Take your time deciding, we can wait."

The Volturi remained unmoved in their position, having no qualms about this decision. They watched us, taking delight in the way our world was slowly crumbling. Demetri was the only one feeling a pang of sorrow, realizing that Aro's choice would not leave much room for the possibility of getting to know my wife better, as he had hoped. In normal circumstances, I might have had the urge to slay him just for having those thoughts. Right now, however, my priorities were entirely different.

This truce served us no favours. I could not leave Bella and my family behind. But I could not let my favourite sister take the blow either. And I most definitely could not afford to be selfish enough to prefer death over all this.

" _I can't make such a choice, son,_ " my father's thoughts were full of misery when I turned to meet his eyes.

So kind and fluid like honey, those eyes were the one thing that had kept me on a straight line throughout my existence, up until I met Bella. A life away from them did not feel much like an option. He turned and made a few steps towards me, saying no words as he came to hug me. Bella and Nellie followed suit, their arms wrapping around my waist tightly.

The kid's mind was once again a long string of obscenities addressed to the Volturi. My wife's mind was silent, but I knew her well enough to understand the emotional storm she was facing behind her façade. I loved these people so deeply, that it was pure torture to fathom leaving them behind.

I realized then that I had truly had it easy for most of my life, despite the copious torment that had haunted me for a good part of it. I had a family. I had the love of my life by my side. I had this kid that, against all odds, I had grown to love. There was so much to lose here. Out there, there was no sanity without them, no reason to keep on living.

"I can't ever lose you, Edward," Bella's voice sounded different, as if someone was strangling her. It slowly dawned on me why: she was crying. A tearless, vampire crying.

"I love you so, so much, sweetheart," my own voice sounded strange in return - I might have been crying as well, judging by the painful, not quite familiar sting in my eyes.

There was nothing else I could say. At the end of the day, that was the only thing that would remain unchanged for the rest of eternity: my love for her, her love for me, flowing endlessly beyond time and beyond what science and religion defined as the end of the world. And while this was not the apocalypse, it very much felt like it.

"Son, this cannot happen," Carlisle's words still held hope, as he was battling to find a last-minute solution.

" _Our family can't go on without you or your sister_. _I'll try to talk him out of it again._ "

"It's the only way," I murmured. "And I can't ask Alice to make that sacrifice in my place."

"She wouldn't want you to make the sacrifice either," he said.

"There's no way out, dad."

I had not truly registered the fact that Nellie was no longer throwing insults left and right in her mind until I felt her arms letting me go. Curious, I turned my head to understand what had happened. She said nothing when our eyes met, just one thought sizzled in the air between us:

" _I love you too, old man, you know that?_ "

I smiled, inviting her to come back, but she had already turned her back on me.

" _I hope you understand why I'm doing this_."

I watched, completely perplexed by her cryptic thoughts. Bella and Carlisle seemed to notice something was off as well, for they gently parted from the embrace in which we had been entangled to watch Nellie, as she was stepping away from us and closer to the Volturi.

"Okay, I have a deal for you," she said, stopping a mere six feet away from Aro.

He seemed just as dumbfounded as the rest of us when she talked.

"I am done making deals, child," he announced.

"You're going to like this one."

" _I'm sorry, really, I am. Tell Bella that when you get out. I love her too, for the record._ "

I was still conflicted, not understanding where she was going with this.

"Do tell, young one," Aro sighed.

Nellie hesitated, throwing one quick look over her shoulder to glance at our little group from beyond her fringe. She turned back immediately - something about the pain on my face had disrupted her train of thought.

"All right, here goes nothing..." she mumbled. "Take me in your guard instead. Let them go."

At first, the information did not register. I simply stared at the scene in front of me, trying to comprehend whether my hearing was failing me for the first time. Or maybe I was having a hallucination, if that was even possible. That had never happened before, but there was a first time for everything. Still, there was no clue hinting that I might have heard anything that had not been said out loud.

When the kid spoke again, I understood that I was not hallucinating:

"I know I've been wanted in that guard ever since these two over there tried to get me to join via force."

She pointed towards Alec and Jane and they huffed in unison.

"The Cullens have their bonds, I have nothing holding me back," she explained. "You've already agreed to take just one gifted vampire in your guard tonight, as a means to reward the killing of the werewolf. So, take me."

"Nellie, wait…" Bella tried to chime in, but Aro raised one finger in the air, motioning her to stop.

"Are you saying that you would be willing to trade your freedom for theirs?" he queried, his eyebrows raising with suspicion.

"Well… yes. That's what I'm saying."

" _She is a valuable asset,_ " Demetri contemplated.

"If that isn't the most unexpected turn of events, I don't know what it is," Aro declared. "You are not in the wrong, because we do want you, child."

Each passing second made me realize that this was hardly fair for her. Her freedom was her everything. She had dreaded the idea of joining the Volturi for this very reason - it was one of the very first things she had told us in Belaya Gora. She deserved to be free, after spending the better part of her life being the prisoner of the man who was supposed to love her the most.

It felt as if my feet had been trapped in a block of concrete - it required a great deal of effort to move them from where I was standing. But when I did, there was no stopping. I walked to Nellie, kneeling down so that she could see me properly.

"Listen, no one's asking you to do this," I said. "I love you for this, but I can't force you to do it."

She had to listen. She had to understand. Yet her thoughts revealed that her decision was set in stone.

 _No_.

To hell with her decision. I could not rob her of her liberties and throw her to the wolves. She was, after all, just a kid. Who was I to let her make sacrifices for my sake?

"I know you can be stubborn like a bull, but you don't have to be," I insisted. "Not now."

"No one's asking me to do anything. And you're not forcing me. I want to do it."

With the corner of my eye I noticed Bella joining us. She kneeled near me, reaching out to take Nellie's hand in hers.

"Look, you're pretty much the coolest people I know. And your family is kind of awesome as well, from what I've come to see. Hell, tonight you fucking saved me from a werewolf!"

"There's no need for payback," Bella offered softly.

"I know. The point is… I'm not blind. I am aware of the fact you've got everything to lose here. I don't."

Her eyes went back from me to Bella, trying very hard to keep her mien carefree and push back the feeling of stingy eyes.

"Nellie, let me just-"

"It's fine," she interrupted my wife. "It really is. Not exactly what I'd been hoping for, but it's the least I can do after… everything."

She was now blinking fast, fighting back tears that would never come out.

" _I wanted to meet the rest, I really did. Maybe one day we'll cross paths again. We have an eternity ahead, right?_ "

I struggled to find my words and failed miserably. In the absence of words, my arms surrounded her and Bella joined in, holding her tighter than either of us ever did.

"It really wasn't supposed to be like this," Bella whispered.

"I know."

"While this is all terribly endearing," - Aro began, his voice friendly again - "I would like to get this over with already."

Nellie slipped away easily from the tight hug we had her in, leaving us behind with empty arms. She made a few more steps, until she reached Aro and the rest. She kept her eyes down, unwilling to face them directly just yet.

Plenty of thoughts were swarming through my head - Aro's delight at his newest acquisition, Jane's irritability towards Nellie, Alec wondering if they would actually get along, Demetri wanting to just go home, Carlisle being shocked beyond words at the course of events - but only one mind interested me in that moment more than anyone else's: Nellie's.

I could make out the effort she was putting into keeping her thoughts on a trajectory that would keep some of her emotions hidden. And it was working, even if barely so. She kept herself occupied by replaying the memory of our emergency landing. That was a happy memory, as I had found out, keeping her on the surface of her own feelings.

"Welcome, my dear," Aro smiled. "You're a strange surprise, I must admit."

" _And a very pleasant one at that_."

"Strange things have happened here tonight, this might as well be one of them," she replied.

"There's a lot of learning to do once we arrive home."

" _Such as keeping that fiery spirit under control_."

The kid agreed reluctantly, no longer looking at me or Bella. She turned away, so that the only visible part of her was now her back. The rest went by in a blur. I heard their 'goodbye's, but I found myself unable to respond to them. I felt Bella's hand searching for mine, but I barely had the strength to mould my palm to hers. I saw the dark cloaks leaving, getting lost in the darkness. Only one thing I had heard clearly - Nellie's last thoughts before disappearing into the tunnels:

" _Come back for me one day?_ "

My brain was already replaying the words on a loop as soon as they had abandoned the safety of her mind. I was still on the ground, in the same position as I had been since I had held her in my arms. Somewhere, someone was sobbing endlessly, cursing out loud.

It had taken me far too long to realize that that someone was me.

* * *

**This chapter has been a really, really emotional ride for me - I would absolutely love it if you could let me know what it was like for you!** **What did you think of Nellie's decision to sacrifice her freedom for the sake of keeping the Cullens together? How do you think this will affect Edward and Bella from this point on?**

**Any thoughts you have are welcome, as always! I'll make sure to respond to everyone :).**

**With all this being said, I wish you all a happier, healthier new year - here's to hoping that 2021 won't suck!**

**Stay safe and happy, guys!**

**P.S.: It might be a little while before the next chapter is ready, I am sorry! Currently, I am battling several COVID-like symptoms (I am getting tested on Monday) and I haven't been able to do much in the past few days for this reason.**


	28. Grieving

The first week spent in Alaska, at the Denali's house, had been a necessity. We had nowhere else to go, and our family needed a stable place to be in more than ever. By the time the second week had rolled in, I was growing more and more restless. It felt as if someone was always following me from the shadows, even in the middle of the brightest, whitest days. On our eighth day spent there, it had taken Esme an entire hour to convince me to stop packing my bags and stay put.

Emmett had missed me so much, that he couldn't even find delight in making jokes about whatever it was that was bothering me. Even Rose, who had never been my biggest fan, was now treating me with kid gloves. Maybe it was the time spent apart that had made them momentarily softer, or maybe the stories Carlisle and Bella had told them while I was out running or hunting - either way, I had never felt more coddled.

We had had to do a fair share of explaining to our cousins, topped with one big apology. After all, we had left them in the dark about our true motives when we had come to stay with them after the accident that had set our entire existence into a downward spiral. None of them had been mad. Perhaps undeservedly, they had agreed to forget all about it. They offered us more intimacy than we deserved, often going away on extended hunting trips.

Esme was worried about me. She tried to help me any way she could, showering me with all her love. She was constantly encouraging me to just sit down at the piano and let my feelings out through music. I kept postponing her suggestions, not quite ready to let anything out. Truth be told, I needed silence more than anything else. And my gifted wife had found the perfect way to offer me just that.

Bella had started to keep everyone under her shield but me. This way, there were no thoughts for me to hear, no mental noise to startle my unspoken musings. She would do this without me asking her to, understanding my needs with a simple glance. If this ever tired her out, she didn't show it.

This should have felt normal to some extent - after all, our family was finally back together and safe, which was exactly what we had all been waiting for. But it didn't. Because something - or rather someone - was missing. We all had an unspoken agreement to not speak of the last night we had spent in Paris. The last thing I wanted to be reminded of was how Alice had seen that there would have been no other way for our family to remain intact. Perhaps it was not the healthiest way to cope with the way our fate had unfolded. A psychiatrist would have told me that I was simply going through denial, the very first stage of grief. I would have simply told him to go to hell.

I found my comfort in running - for hours on end, across unknown mountain trails, alone and with no specific purpose other than to let off steam. If I was running, I didn't have to face the worried glances of the people I loved the most. If I was running, I didn't have to face the fact that even if I had won, I had also lost.

As more weeks went by, I had grown to understand that there was no harm or impending doom in staying in the same place for an extended period of time. Esme would always remind me that no one was coming after us. Jasper would always take my phone away when I was getting ready to call the airport to check if there were any runways available. Alice would always soothe me with her visions of a tame future. Bella would always take her time loving me when we were alone, trying to rip me away from the invisible tendrils of my ever-present anxiety.

Still, try as they might, they could not fight my battles for me.

But time stopped for no one. My parents were already making plans about where we could settle next. There had been talks of Seattle, Reykjavík, Newfoundland, Luxembourg, yet none of them came to fruition. Rose was getting impatient with the delay, but Esme wanted the very best for the family in terms of comfort.

As they were busy making those plans, my wife was busy telling her parents that we might move away from Cardiff in the near future. The sudden move worried Charlie and excited Renée. Bella had served them both the same excuse, as Alice had instructed her: Carlisle had found some better-paying opportunities away from Cardiff and he was considering them.

This strange new normality was interrupted one snowy day. I had just come back from one of my many running trips, covered with a thin layer of snow from head to toe, thanks to the blizzard growing stronger outside. I was surprised to see Bella coming downstairs with a small traveling bag on her shoulder right as I was entering the house.

"Have I missed something?" I queried.

"Yes, we're going to Sappho," she responded matter-of-factly. "I mean… I am, you don't have to, if you don't..."

"And why are _we_ going there?" I made sure to emphasize how silly her sudden uncertainty was; of course I wanted to come with her, even if I didn't have the slightest idea what was going on.

" _The parents of Wayne and Melinda Wilson have come to an agreement to hold a funeral tomorrow, even though no bodies had been found_ ," Carlisle's thoughts resonated from upstairs. " _You know the protocol, son_."

"Oh."

"Exactly," she said.

Ever since I could remember, my father would make us attend the funerals of those we had killed. He would make no exceptions and we would make no fuss. He would stand by our side as we witnessed the pain our acts had inevitably caused on the families of our victims. When all was said and done, we would anonymously provide a generous monetary aid to the pained families - as if money could ever help anyone get over the unfair loss of a loved one.

Of course, he had had to make an exception for Bella. Having a witness had forced us into having to get rid of all the evidence. Then, when the witness had spoken, we found ourselves on a continuous path of running away from the Volturi. These circumstances had made it impossible to even think about attending any funeral - perhaps it was for the best that no funeral had been held while we were gone, while the police were still investigating the disappearance of the Wilsons.

"Are you all right with this, my love?" I checked.

My father might have had his priorities, but I also had mine - and keeping Bella comfortable was very high on that list.

" _It has to be done,_ " Carlisle reminded me from upstairs. " _And we can finally make sure that their extended family gets a monetary compensation. It's the least we can do_."

"Of course," she assured me.

"Fine, let me just pack a bag and I'll be with you in a minute."

It took us four hours to get to Sappho: three hours in the air, until we reached the airport in Port Angeles, and then another hour on the ground, with a rented car. Esme and Carlisle joined us, for support. The conversation had been somewhat light, despite the circumstances of our trip - it shouldn't have surprised me, my parents had been trying to keep my sentiments, as well as Bella's, in check ever since we had reunited.

Being such a small town, there were no hotels in sight, just a few motels and inns. We ended up checking in a motel of Esme's choosing. Unsurprisingly, hardly any people were there. It felt oddly comforting to be in an unknown place again. All the moving around Bella and I had done had definitely affected something within my psyche. It had made me wonder more than once if this was how things were going to be for me from now on.

But the comfort didn't last. Soon enough, while Bella was going through the stuff she had brought with her to find something comfortable enough for wearing inside, I found myself aching to run again. After all, there were plenty of mountains nearby to quench this particular thirst of mine. And we were close enough to Forks to risk a sneak peek at our past life…

I wouldn't cross any borders. I would just watch from afar.

Tonight, however, Bella's patience with my new habit wasn't as endless as it usually was.

"Come on, we've just arrived, Edward," she pointed out, pouting.

"You're right."

"It's just getting… too much."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be an ass about this."

"You're not an ass, it's just… can you stay put for one night? Please?"

And there was nothing I could do but accept whatever she would have asked of me when she looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes that held an unknown magic inside, one that could make me feel like the weakest and strongest man alive at the same time.

"Of course, love. Anything for you."

I watched her as she dropped the traveling bag on the floor, no longer searching for her sweatpants. All of a sudden, she seemed irritated.

"Actually, no," she said. "Do you mind if we run together?"

Surprised and perplexed, I could not refuse this either:

"As I said, anything for you."

She was quick to put her boots back on and to exit through the door. I followed mechanically, passing through the corridor and getting out of the motel and into the quiet night. We didn't have to walk for long, as we were surrounded by endless acres of forest from every angle. We took the shortest route and, once under the cover of trees, started running.

The wind was not strong tonight, despite the fact that December was right around the corner. I could barely feel it whip against my cheeks as my feet were guiding me past the unbeaten trails. But before long, I realized that Bella was heading in a different direction than I was. Not quite sure why she was doing it and where she was planning to go, I slowed down and followed her.

Once we got past Lake Pleasant, she took a sharp south turn and I understood - it appeared that I was not the only one longing to get a glimpse of Forks tonight.

Bella stopped miles away from Calawah River, scouring the horizon with her gaze. Up here, we could see the dim lights of Forks, barely shining from the cover of the usual fog. They looked small and ephemeral, as if they would disappear any second.

"I suppose that's the farthest we can go without getting the wolves after us?" she asked.

"More or less. I didn't know you were feeling nostalgic today."

"Well, you've missed a couple of things these past few weeks."

The pang of her remark had not escaped me. She sat down on the ground, grabbing her knees and keeping them close to her chest as she was observing the panoramic view. I decided to join her. I sat down behind her, framing her body with my legs and wrapping my arms tightly around her.

"I haven't been the best husband lately, have I?" I murmured in her hair, as I watched the small lights flicker in the distance.

"You're the best husband," she replied. "I just wish you hadn't entered this shut-down mode since… you know."

My jaw clenched automatically - mainly because I knew she was right and I knew I had it coming. I had kept everyone at a distance, sometimes to a fault. I just couldn't imagine how talking about it could fix the issue at hand - it wasn't like talking could bring _her_ back. Bella began playing with my fingers, seemingly unfocused on what she was doing.

"I'm really sorry," I admitted after a while. "I've just never dealt with… this."

"I haven't either, but… this can't be healthy, right?"

"At this point, I wouldn't know what's healthy and what's not, love."

Bella didn't say anything and resumed playing with my fingers. I simply started to plant small kisses all over the side of her neck that was exposed.

"I miss you, Edward," she said after a while.

"I'm with you everyday."

"You are, but at the same time… you're not. You feel far away sometimes. And the worst part is that… I know where your mind takes you. Because mine takes me there too."

My arms tightened a little more around her body in response, but I didn't know what to say. I had avoided these discussions pretty well in Alaska. It seemed that somehow, someway, someone would always be close enough to hear them.

But there was no one here now, other than the two of us. No chance of avoiding the inevitable for much longer.

"And I want to help you, I really do. But you won't let me. Every time I feel like I'm even close to cracking your code, you simply shut down."

"Bella…"

"The thing is," she added quickly, before I could say more. "The worst is over now. I have to remind myself of this every single day, because sometimes I tend to forget, you know?"

I nodded 'yes', even if she could not see me.

"But I don't like the way we keep glossing over what happened in Paris as if we'll somehow forget it… or her."

She stopped, shifting ever so slightly in my embrace, so that she could turn around and glance up at me. I avoided her eyes, continuing to stare into the distance.

"Are we going to talk about this?" she asked. "Like ever?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Bella."

"Anything. Anything is good. How do you feel?"

"Happy to have you in my arms," I responded sincerely.

"You know that's not what I meant."

I decided to hide my face in her neck once again, where I didn't have to face her questioning eyes. I distracted myself with her scent, inhaling it deeply, allowing it to fill my lungs and holding it there. Her breath caught up slightly from the contact, but she didn't let it go:

"Fine, if you don't want to talk about it, it's all right. I'll just show you instead, because it's been driving me crazy."

She let her palms land on my knees, without saying anything more. I continued to move my lips aimlessly on her throat, until the sound of her unfiltered thoughts started flowing freely between us: gentle at first, just a mere whisper, then more and more pronounced as she pushed her shield farther away, until I could hear everything.

" _I wonder what she's doing now. If she gives them hell. Or if they give her hell. It's something I wonder about often, to be honest. If you would've told me I would've come out of this mess feeling so protective of a teenager, I would've laughed. Yet here we are_."

I smiled bitterly against her skin.

" _You didn't even like her in the beginning, remember? I definitely do. It was like you couldn't coexist in the same space without bickering._ "

I tried very much not to think of that too deeply. And I failed. The memories that tied me to the kid started coming to the surface, no longer kept back by my control.

" _I guess neither of us had expected to get close to her in any way, shape or form when we took her to Mati in September. And I find myself feeling guilty, thinking that she might have been free had it not been for meeting us. But then I can't bring myself to regret ever spending time with her. She's never met someone she could trust, and I think everybody needs to know what that feels like. And she did in the end._ "

It was soothing to hear these thoughts she was having; in many ways, they were the same thoughts I had been trying to push back.

" _There had been a few times when I wondered if she'd ever want to join our family. She seemed to need it, even if she'd never admit it. I mean just imagine how much Esme would have loved her! And I think Emmett might have got along with her pretty well._ "

As I listened to her reveries, I struggled to understand what it was that I was feeling. After spending the better part of the last weeks trying to obliterate my sentiments into nothingness, it was strange to allow myself to simply _feel_ again. My chest felt oddly full, as if it was getting ready to explode. The sudden lump in my throat didn't help either.

" _I just miss her_."

Carefully removing my mouth from her neck, to gaze back at the foggy town of Forks, I managed to mutter:

"Come back for me one day."

She turned around in an instant, trying to understand the hidden meaning beneath my sudden spoken words. As much as I was mortified by the fact that I had finally said them out loud, I also felt lighter, as if an unmanageable weight had been removed from my subconscious. I didn't let Bella wonder for too long.

"Those were the last thoughts I'd heard from her," I explained. "'Come back for me one day'. They were more of a question."

" _There you go! This is a good start. It's breaking my heart, but I needed to hear you_."

"I just don't see how hearing what I have to say could ever bring her back, my love," I offered, shattering her momentary relief. "What's the point of grieving when there's no hope of getting the person in question back?"

"For starters, she's not dead or anything, so I'd like to believe that not all hope is lost," she responded, this time out loud. "And she herself asked you to come back one day!"

"It's not that simple. You don't know how the Volturi are."

"I've got a good preview," she counterattacked. "Carlisle managed to get out on his own accord. Why wouldn't that be the case for Nellie as well?"

"Because what happened there, in those catacombs, was much different. Nellie joining the guard... was an exchange. Not a willing act. If it wasn't for her, it would have been me. Or Alice."

Her brow furrowed and her mind shared the frustration.

"The Volturi are hardly forgiving, Bella, as you've come to understand. Nellie's pretty much stuck there."

" _For the moment, but if we wait long enough, maybe a few years… There has to be something we can do_ _eventually_."

"For them, a few years are what a few days are to you. It would enrage them if three years from now - or five, or eight - we even proposed to them to set her free. I love you, I love the kid, but I'm not putting you or my family or her in danger. Not when I know how short Aro's temper can be."

"Then… decades?"

"I don't know, to be honest. I don't know what it would take. Alice has been going through visions non-stop lately, but there's nothing in the distant future worth mentioning."

" _So there's no hope then? She's doomed for good? I refuse to believe this_."

"I am no fortune-teller, so I have no idea how to answer those questions. I guess time will only tell."

She remained quiet, while her thoughts kept spinning. It was unexpectedly reassuring to see that her mind was taking her in all the places that my own had been too scared to go. I followed its trail, even if it burned me. There were thoughts of sending Nellie to school and thoughts of taking her on a proper vacation and thoughts of the last time she had seen her.

I listened closely to everything, understanding that for each time I had tried to push the sadness away in the past weeks, Bella had tried to let it out in return. I was aware that I could not take back the way I had behaved, so the least I could do now was to simply be there for her - and maybe allow her to be there for me too.

But when one particular thought went through her mind, I found myself unable to remain silent anymore.

" _I wonder if we would've been great for her. If we could measure up to what Carlisle and Esme are to you._ "

"I… don't know," I admitted. "This hadn't been something I even considered until recently, and you know this. I like to believe we would've, though."

"I think so too. You've been so great with her, once you got past your fixations."

"You were great with her even earlier."

She sighed longingly, reminiscing once again about the ache she had felt when she saw Nellie walk away. Her pain reverberated through me in waves, for it was a pain I was familiar with.

"Do you remember all those discussions we've had before I changed you, my love? The ones about children?"

"Probably not as clearly as you do, but yes, they're there."

"Who would've thought we'd be here now a year later?" I pondered bitterly.

"Well… I don't regret any arguments I've brought to the table. Kids can take away too much of your independence. I've seen how it's been for my mother, even if she'd never admit it to anyone's face. But I've never felt my independence threatened with Nellie. She is very much her own person."

"She is," I agreed.

" _I hope they treat her right_."

"They can be quite cajoling with newcomers, going by Carlisle's stories."

We sat in silence for a while. My wife kept caressing my knees gently, content with the fact that I had allowed my barrier to slip. But now that there was no need for her to cover those around with her shield just so that I could not hear them, she could finally let me inside her mind - and I could see the large dollops of misery that had taken over her.

"I've neglected your feelings, Bella," I murmured, my grip on her tightening just a little out of frustration with myself.

"Just because you were battling with your own."

"That is one lame excuse."

" _But I know you well enough to know that it is the truth."_

I grunted, because mercy was not exactly what I was going for - I deserved none of that. I grabbed Bella and quickly rolled her on her back, coming on top of her, where I could see her eyes properly.

"Don't do this, my angel," I pleaded softly. "I'm starting to understand the price you had to pay for my selfishness."

"I don't want you to feel more stressed than you already are, Edward."

" _I love you too much, you don't know how it's been breaking my heart._ "

The fact that throughout all this, she was still thinking of how _I_ was affected made the swelling in my chest grow stronger. I didn't deserve her unconditional love - after all, she had always been better than me in every way. Purer, kinder, softer. But somehow, I could not care, because all that mattered was that she loved me, and I loved her just the same.

Sure, life was far from perfect. We had been thrown in the middle of a sea that, while calm on the surface, hid several whirlpools underneath. But we could learn to swim. Maybe even survive the deceitful waves. Together.

"Bella, there's a lot I still don't know and I am only now starting to learn," I admitted, taking her face in my hands. "And I do want Nellie back, just as much as you do. Let's just make a promise."

"What promise?"

"One day, when enough time has passed, we try to get her back. No clue how."

"Deal," she responded just as I was finishing my last sentence.

With her face in my hands, I started feeling blissful for the first time in weeks. I leaned down to seal our words with a kiss - and I took my time savouring her. At first, I simply let our lips touch, studying with unending curiosity the soft curvature of her upper lip, then the delicious plumpness of the lower. She didn't seem to be in a rush either, accepting my rhythm and replicating it.

Slowly, so very slowly, I opened my mouth slightly and stopped. I simply breathed her in, unwilling to hurry up. Her flavour rolled down my tongue in small waves, bringing with it the sweet taste of relief. By the time our mouths started moving in unison, I already felt as if I had arrived in Heaven.

It took ages for our tongues to meet, but the build-up only made it better. When I finally felt her tongue silently inviting mine to a dance, there was nothing I could do but accept and hold her a little tighter in response.

This was so different from all the times we had been intimate in Alaska. More often than not, our lovemaking turned rough without a warning, as if we were trying to compensate for the pain of losing the only way we knew how. And it was always too rushed for my liking; while the thrill of trying to discreetly take her in a house full of vampires when the urge struck was delicious, it could get tedious after a while.

I had missed _this_ for far too long.

My hands were getting greedy and her thoughts eager, but I made no attempt to speed up our kiss. I only stopped when she softly called my name out loud.

"Yes, beautiful?" I responded.

"Make love to me."

Our lips were still pressed together, none of us willing to break the connection, when I spoke:

"With pleasure."

Under the late November sky, with Forks glistening in the distance as a reminder of our old lives, we shed of our clothes piece by piece, with all the patience in the world. It felt as if I was discovering my wife all over again, as we allowed ourselves to get lost in each other's arms, to cry out together, to come apart fearlessly and to be put back together with kisses and murmurs of adoration. And we did it again and again and again, making sure that we were offering at least as much as we were receiving.

Loving Bella had never felt more cathartic than it did that night.

* * *

The funeral had not been an intimate event. A dozen or so journalists showed up at the cemetery, along with plenty of people who had never met the Wilsons. They came with funeral wreaths and sad miens, all of them taking turns in expressing their condolences to the grieving parents of Wayne and Melinda Wilson. The braver journalists tried to approach the mourning parents, in hopes that they would get a good story out of them, while the more humane ones remained content with just observing.

Our family didn't look that much out of the ordinary in the middle of the crowd. Esme and I held Bella's waist, while Carlisle kept his hand on my shoulder for the entire ceremony. It felt eerie to listen to the stories of the friends and family of the deceased. But they passed by me like a breeze, for I was far more concerned with studying Bella's reactions to them than anything else.

She listened intently, with her eyes - those eyes that were getting a little more golden everyday - stuck somewhere on the ground. I kept hoping she would drop her shield and let me see what was going on through her mind during these moments, but she decided to keep her thoughts private instead. Still, I knew her well enough to understand the cues.

When Wayne's sister mentioned how the two of them would play hide and seek when they were kids, until they had outgrown the size of the wardrobe they liked to use as a hiding spot, I couldn't help but notice the way Bella's eyes twitched ever so slightly. Or when Melinda's mother shared the story of how her daughter would bake her a different cake every Christmas, I felt Bella's body tense up - not in the way it would before a hunt, but rather with a dread I had grown to recognize in the months spent together on the run. She rarely had nervous breakdowns, but I feared that she was very close to making an exception this time.

My father had noticed something as well, for as soon as the gravesite ritual ended, he pulled Bella away from the crowd and close to a small clump of trees on the side. I didn't get the chance to concentrate on their low conversation properly, because soon enough Esme was pulling me to the other side of the site as well. Intrigued, I followed and stopped when she did.

" _He'll calm her down,_ " she assured me. " _He's no Jasper, but you know this is not a first for him_."

I nodded understandingly, while she went through flashbacks of Carlisle having the very same conversation he was having with my wife now with Emmett, Alice and Jasper. Over the years, each one of them had had various emotional reactions when they had witnessed the way that their mistakes had affected the families of the victims. And one by one, Carlisle had put them at ease.

"I know he will," I said.

"Now how do you feel?" she demanded to know.

"Me? It's Bella I'm more worried about."

I glanced back over my shoulder, to the spot where my wife and Carlisle stood.

" _Don't worry too much, dear, he knows best what to tell her._ "

"Coming back to my question," she continued out loud, grabbing my chin between her thumb and index finger, so that I could face her. "Are _you_ all right, Edward?"

This was far from being the first time she demanded an honest answer to this question since we had reunited. Normally, I would find ways to circumvent her distress - not necessarily by lying, but rather by avoiding to give precise answers. This time, however, might have been the first time when I didn't have to resort to any tricks.

"Better than yesterday," I responded sincerely.

" _There goes my boy! You know I'm here for you whenever you need to talk._ "

"I know. And I love you for that, mother."

" _Almost as much as I love you._ "

Her arms surrounded me and, even if the top of her head barely reached my shoulder, I suddenly felt small and protected in her embrace. I wrapped my arms around her as well, sighing, thanking whatever deity was willing to listen for the fact that, despite all odds, my mother could hold me like that; my father could talk to Bella; my siblings patiently awaited for us in Denali; we were no longer scattered across the globe.

Esme watched me with wary eyes when I parted from our hug. She was still expecting me to say something that would keep her at a safe emotional distance from me. When I didn't, she checked for herself:

"So let me guess: getting ready for another round of running?"

She let out a small laugh, despite the struggle she was having underneath the surface. I glanced once again over my shoulder, this time catching Bella's eye. She smiled, unleashing an overwhelming warmth in my direction.

"I don't think so," I responded, still caught under Bella's spell. "I'm getting tired of running."

* * *

**If you've got any thoughts, big or small, positive or critical, you know I'd love nothing more than to read and respond to them!**

**A little update on the COVID-19 situation: I got tested positive and I am currently on day 9 of symptoms. Thankfully, I am feeling a little better everyday - yesterday my sense of smell slowly started to return!**

**Take care out there, guys! Stay safe and happy!**


	29. Building

_**Three months later** _

"Dude! Mind-reading sex! How could you ever hide that from me?"

Emmett threw his hammer in my direction, missing my head by just an inch. The tool landed in the small primrose and buttercup garden below us with a thud, alongside the few dozen nails he had thrown earlier for the very same reason.

"Because I knew you'd be an ass, as usual," I responded simply. "Now climb down and get that, because you need it, idiot."

He growled at me, but two seconds later he was back on the roof frame with me, having retrieved his hammer and the nails.

"I feel personally offended," he continued.

" _And to tell Alice first? That's just rude._ "

"You know this is not how it went."

"Alice, out of all people..." he muttered, ignoring me. "I taught you everything you know, brother! Not Alice. I'm your guru, you should come at me with these matters."

"I am more of a self-learner, Em. And forgive me for not considering it my top priority to keep you posted about my sex life."

" _Well, you should. I keep you posted about mine_."

"And I beg you everytime not to."

He huffed, changing his mind about whether to throw the hammer in his hand at me once again at the last minute.

Yesterday, I would not have guessed that I would be having this discussion. But a series of unfortunate events had led to this.

Three weeks ago, Alice had decided to set up an all-girls trip to Spain. Rosalie had been more than happy to take her up on the idea, knowing that such a vacation would mean various outfit changes and several pairs of eyes turning to stare at her. Bella had not been as eager, but accepted anyway, not quite knowing how to handle Alice's insistence without hurting her feelings. Esme was not going to accompany them - the official reason was that extravagant vacations were not exactly her style. The real reason was that I needed her here, in Glasgow.

The day prior, just as my sisters and Bella were getting ready to leave, I had decided to plant a small surprise in my wife's baggage. It wasn't much, just a letter that I had placed on the very top of the neatly folded clothes she had packed. The contents of that letter, however, were meant for her eyes and her eyes only. With the knowledge that she would be the only one to read it, I had not shied away from describing to her in full detail one particular fantasy we both had had. Between all my insolent musings, I had mentioned several times how much I was going to enjoy reading every thought she would have when this fantasy would finally come to fruition.

My surprise, however, got ruined when Alice decided to add some extra swimsuits to Bella's baggage. I was in the bedroom, wondering if I could squeeze in one last round of sex with my wife before she left, not particularly attentive to what my sister was thinking when she barged in the room. By the time I had understood her intentions, it was too late. She had already opened the baggage and she was staring at my letter, her eyes wide as she was going through all the words on it with speed.

I arrived by her side, closing the lid of the baggage in no time. But she had already seen the unseenable.

"All right," I said. "Let's pretend you haven't read that."

She stared at me, unable to find a proper response to what she had just witnessed. The wheels of her mind were spinning like crazy.

"Just… walk away, Alice."

" _That was a lot… God, what a terrible day to have eyes. But still… you can read Bella's thoughts. Or is that some twisted fantasy?_ "

"It is _not_ a fantasy, it's real," I managed between my gritted teeth. "Now bugger off."

"Are you serious, you can do that?"

"Yes, please leave."

"But since when do you-"

"Since September, Alice. Can you drop it, please?"

From downstairs, Emmett started doing his best impression of Snoop Dogg as he started humming 'Drop it like it's hot'. It didn't take him longer than three seconds to join us and ask:

"Drop what, homies?"

"Nothing, Em."

" _Oh, I smell bullshit. Spill it_."

"There's nothing to spill," I emphasized. "Now can't you get back to whatever it was that you were doing?"

"'Resident Evil' can wait, fresh family gossip can not."

Neither Alice, nor I said anything. But she made a simple mistake, one that set Emmett's senses off: she glanced at Bella's baggage one second too long. This was enough for him to understand the source of the bickering he had just heard. Without a word, he launched over the baggage, the exact moment Alice started having a vision of him doing so. The rest was history.

And there we were, one day later, sitting atop of the country house frame Esme had designed for me and Bella. After living two months together with the rest of our family in the Victorian mansion Esme had bought at the outskirts of Glasgow, it became obvious that we needed our own place. More often than not, Bella and I would find ourselves making love regardless of whoever happened to be within hearing distance. The decision to move out was only natural, given the fact that everyone had grown tired of us within the first week.

What Bella didn't know was that we would be moving out much sooner. After months of being tirelessly by my side whenever my grief got the best of me, I wanted - I _needed_ \- to make it up to her. It only took Esme three days to finish the sketches, using the directions I had given her. As soon as I had seen them, I knew they were exactly right for Bella: the house was a tasteful mix between the modest simplicity of 'Little Women''s Orchard House and the eerie charm of 'Jane Eyre''s Thornfield Hall.

Esme bought most of the necessary supplies within a week, making several trips to the B&Q home improvement store, until she managed to transport all the materials to the isolated spot in the woods where our home would be. Building the house was my job, as I had insisted. While I had never done it before, I figured it couldn't be that hard. I had started reading several architecture and house engineering manuals whenever Alice managed to steal Bella away from me.

Emmett insisted on helping me - not necessarily because he had suddenly become passionate about building houses, but because that offered him plenty of time to be as inquisitive as he liked. Someway, somehow, the conversation would always circle back to the very same topic: the fact that I could now read Bella's thoughts and that this was a frequent element within our lovemaking sessions. And with Emmett being Emmett, he had plenty of curiosities - not many of which I was willing to entertain.

"But like… do you guys have mind orgasms and stuff like that?"

"I don't even know what you mean by that," I sighed.

" _You know, like having an orgasm just from thinking stuff_. _Damn, it would be cool if I could make Rose have one._ "

"I'm not sure what you're imagining, Em. There's no Jedi mind tricks at play here."

"Well, I wouldn't know, since you're being such a vague sissy."

"Go to hell."

Our squabble went on until Esme came by with extra buckets of paint. She had had a hard time deciding on just one and ended up buying several, just so that I would have enough choices. Sadly, she had heard our discussion from miles away and she was now in the mood of playing the role of the ever-protective mother.

"Emmett, dear, you'd better stop teasing your brother," she admonished him. "You know it's rude."

"It was just honest guy talk, didn't you teach us to be honest?" he fought back.

"There's a line between that and invading one's privacy."

"Besides, don't you have somewhere else to be?" I added.

He rolled his eyes and threw a 'momma's boy' thought my way, before resuming his task, while Esme stood close by, making sure that everything went well. As opposed to her, he should have had other priorities right now: such as finishing his reading assignment for tomorrow.

Moving to Glasgow had meant a new narrative for us; my brothers and sisters played the role of highschool students once again, much to their dismay. Jasper was having a particularly hard time being back among the humans. He had grown accustomed to being on the run and keeping a safe distance from them - being thrown back in the middle of them felt very much like having to start all over again. However, he and the rest only had to endure another semester, since they were all Seniors. After that, they would all be off to study at the University of Glasgow in the fall.

Meanwhile, Esme had found a part-time job at the University. She was now a substitute professor, teaching Interior Design classes. It didn't take up much of her time, but it was a start for her and it got her excited. She had always been the mother for my siblings and me - and it had always been enough for her. But even if she would have never admitted out loud, she felt relieved that I had Bella by my side, because this allowed her to focus her attention on something else as well - something that did not involve worrying about her one lonesome kid. Carlisle was so proud of her, that he rarely thought of anything else when she was around.

And my father, as always, was making waves with how skilled of a doctor he was. The nurses and doctors at the Glasgow Royal Infirmary were head over heels in love with him - some of them in the literal sense. It was no surprise that he had many admirers silently lusting after him, both female and male. This was preferable to having people be scared of him.

Bella and I kept the charade going by pretending we were taking a gap year, which was not far from the truth. I had not managed to find a teaching job to go along with the plans I had had in summer, but I did not exactly mind, because this allowed me plenty of time to keep the promise I had made to my wife in Ossora: to take her on a second honeymoon and make it the best trip she had ever had. This time, with no time limit.

Her father was not a big fan of this plan. He was convinced she was wasting her life away, unaware that she had an eternity ahead to go to all the colleges she pleased. Her mother was more accepting - if I had to guess, I would have said that she was only accepting this decision because she could recognize herself in the choices her daughter was making.

"Bella's going to love this," my mother pondered out loud many hours later.

"She will," I agreed, unable to suppress my grin when I glanced up at the cross gable roof.

"I've seen uglier houses," Emmett teased, even if deep down he was proud beyond belief of how the house exterior had turned out.

Still, I could not refuse such an invitation, so I rushed to punch him in the pit of his stomach. He had expected this reaction and responded in the same brutal manner. Soon enough, we were play-fighting in the grass, making an effort to not disrupt the flower garden. Esme sighed - the sigh of a mother who does not want to deal with the mess of her children - and waited for us to finish.

We only stopped when my phone started ringing loudly from the back pocket of my jeans. To my surprise, it was Bella.

"Hello, handsome," she greeted me, her voice almost a purr.

I pushed Emmett off of me, jumping up and trying to clean up the dirt and grass stains from my clothes.

"My love, I was not expecting you," I admitted, kicking my brother in the shin right as he was getting ready to launch again. "Weren't you supposed to be out dancing all night with Alice and Rose?"

"Yes, about that… I've kind of bailed."

"What do you mean you've kind of bailed?"

"I mean I tried to do it, but I left after the first half an hour. As it turns out, my dislike of dancing has not changed that much after you've changed me."

"You just need the right partner."

"There were plenty of men who seemed eager to demonstrate their willingness to lead, but none of them were you, so…"

"Your first day in Palma de Mallorca and you're already breaking hearts."

"Someone has to do it. So anyway, what are you up to?"

Was she trying to sound sensual on purpose or was my imagination playing tricks on me?

"Nothing spectacular," I danced around the truth.

"Way to kill a booty call in the tracks," Emmett snickered.

This time, Esme got him to shut up quicker than me, by grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the yard. He started chuckling uncontrollably and my mother threw an apologetic glance at me. She dragged him further through the woods, until they disappeared.

"Was that Emmett?" Bella queried.

"Yes, it _was_. Esme just helped me get rid of him."

"Wow..."

"He's been an idiot all day, this was him just making an extra effort."

"Sorry you had to deal with that."

"He can't seem to wrap his mind around the fact that I can hear your thoughts."

She laughed, the sound coming off nervous.

"I liked it better when it was our little secret," she added. "Rose had a few questions herself."

"I'm not surprised. They'll forget about it. Eventually."

"I certainly hope so. So Emmett is no longer there?"

"Right now, no."

"And... you're alone now?"

With no sounds in sight other than the peaceful sounds of the forest, the answer was simple:

"Completely. Why are you asking?"

"Well, I happen to be alone as well in this bungalow," she offered.

 _Oh_. I allowed myself to sit down in the grass, as the realization of what had prompted Bella to call me started sinking in. I was not oblivious, I knew there weren't many reasons why a woman would call her husband to tell him specifically that she was alone. But since we had never been in the position to stay separated for more than a few hours at a time, there had never been a need for... _this_.

This was new. Completely new.

"Are you?" I asked after a while, just as the delicious shock started to make its way through my body, gathering in a single, tight spot in my jeans.

"Yes, and I will be for as long as Alice and Rosalie are out."

"Hmmm… such a shame I'm not there with you…"

"It is a shame. There's a pretty nice bed in here. And it is quite isolated from the mainland, so not many people within hearing distance..."

I growled lowly, feeling the ache in my jeans grow stronger. It had been over a day since I had last been inside her, yet I felt as if it had been a week.

"Tell me what you're wearing, love," I pleaded, realizing that, predictable or not, this was the only thing that I wanted to know now.

"Still wearing the same dress Alice had chosen for me to go out dancing. It's blue and has an open back."

"You know I'd rip it off of you in seconds, so why don't you get rid of it for me?"

I listened closely to the soft rustling on the other end, feeling myself getting harder at the knowledge that my wife was undressing for me in some bungalow that was a thousand miles away.

"Done," she murmured.

"Good. Now the underwear as well."

Another round of rustling, and then nothing.

"Done again," she assured me.

The anticipation in her voice seeped inside my conscience, making me boil with desire. I tried picturing her: naked, laying in an unknown bed, thinking of me. What an exquisite image.

"Perfect," I offered. "Now that you're all naked, as you should be when you're talking to me, why don't you tell me why you really called, love?"

She hesitated for a second, before responding:

"I was rather aroused."

"Colour me surprised. I wonder what got you so aroused in the first place."

"Nothing in particular, just… the fact that you hadn't been inside me for over a day."

The longing in her voice made my erection twitch and I had to grab it tightly, to offer myself a tiny semblance of relief.

"Nympho," I teased. "And how may I be of service?"

"Tell me how hard you are right now."

"Like a damn rock."

"Oh, my God…"

Her words came in a half-moan, and I had no other choice but to unzip my pants right that moment and grab my erect member properly.

"What would you do about it?" I provoked.

"I'd love to get on my knees and take your… hm, your…"

I tried not to laugh at her sudden bashfulness, knowing that it would upset her. Truth be told, she was adorable. And way too sexy for her own good. This was a lethal combination.

"My what?" I pushed.

She would not have forced out the word for anyone else, that much I was willing to bet. But she did it for me:

"Your cock."

As always, no obscenity could sound vulgar coming from her lips. Instead, it sounded exceedingly concupiscent, almost like a forbidden poem. I liked the way it seemed to send new, unknown sensations through my limbs. Soon enough, I knew I would want to hear her say it again.

"Finish that idea," I encouraged her, making no effort to hide the smile in my voice.

"I'd... take your cock into my mouth. And I'd suck it thoroughly, begging you with my mind to plunge all the way inside my throat."

 _Oh, God_. My hand was now moving slowly up and down my length - any faster and I would have been lost.

"I would do that for you with pleasure," I said. "More."

"I'd be working you with my tongue, licking, rubbing, then sucking. I would do it until you could no longer hold back…"

"Yes…"

"I'd swallow every last drop when you come… and then I'd do it all over again until you came once more, all over my face."

"Goddamn, Bella!"

I made an effort to slow down the movement of my hand and control my erratic breathing. We might have been miles away from each other, but I still wanted her to have her orgasm first. My own release always felt sweeter when it followed hers.

"I want you to open your legs for me," I directed. "Wide, just as if I were there and you were getting ready to be fucked for days."

"Yes, Edward…" she responded in a breathy moan.

"Now I want to reach between your legs and tell me exactly how wet you are, so that I can picture it."

The shortest pause followed, but it got interrupted by her deep sigh. She appeared to have forgotten what I had asked.

"Are you touching yourself?"

"Yes," she confirmed with a soft voice.

"And?"

"I'm really, really wet right now. It got on my thighs."

"God, Bella… I'd lick you clean in a second if I could."

"It would only get me wetter and you know it."

"Oh, I know, love, I know. It would prompt me to give you my all, just so that I can feel you explode on my tongue..."

I heard her gasp loudly and I started stroking myself faster in response.

"I need to come, Edward," she implored.

"I'll get you there. Start rubbing your clitoris, love. Don't rush it, you know I wouldn't."

She must have listened, because the next second she moaned loudly, leaving no doubt about what she was doing. While extremely faint, I could pick up the wet sounds of her hand moving over her bundle of nerves. It made me burn for release even fiercer than before.

"Rub it in circles, I know how much you love it when I do it," I instructed through my teeth, tightening the grip on my member as I pleased myself.

"Yes, this is it…"

"Now hold on, I said not to rush it. You have to earn this."

She didn't bother to offer me an answer; instead, she cried and whimpered, struggling to contain her own excitement.

"Slip two fingers inside, Bella. Slowly, feel them properly."

Once again, she blessed me with a delectable symphony of moans as she listened to my instructions.

"Are they in?" I checked.

"Yes!"

"How does it feel?"

"Tight!"

"Now start moving them as deeply as you can. Picture it's my cock in that hot, tight space. Entering you inch by inch, until there's no more room to go further..."

"God, Edward!"

I knew she was now pushing in and out of herself, judging by the rhythm of her breathing. I tried to match that rhythm as I continued stroking myself.

"Thrusting back and forth, fucking you relentlessly…"

"Yes…"

"Slapping that perfect ass as I do it…"

"Fuck!"

"Biting your neck until it hurts…"

I wasn't fully concentrating on what I was saying. I was simply describing all the magnetic flashes that went through my mind as they came. Soon enough, I was no longer able to say much else, and neither was Bella. We were too busy moaning and groaning our way through this phone call, as our hands worked to bring us over the edge. When she came, she cried out my name - once, twice, three times - and I really didn't need more to lose it completely.

My orgasm followed immediately, the venom bursting in thick streams all over my shirt and the grass underneath. I called Bella's name in return, taking delight in the way she breathlessly encouraged me to let go. Forgetting my surroundings. Succumbing to this faultless rapture.

It took us a while to recover. But once we were able to form cohesive sentences again, we went right back to the start. And then to the finish line. And then to the start again. Then the finish line once more. Again and again and again.

We only stopped when Bella heard the sharp sounds of Rosalie's heels from afar.

* * *

No house was as beautiful as ours.

Our house was covered in a lattice of winter roses on one side and a dense veil of honeysuckle that would only bloom in late spring on the other. The stone from which it was built had a lavender tint to it, that was more evident in bright daylight. When the night came, the lavender went away, making room for an oceanic grey.

Our house had one large oak door, reminiscent of old fairy tales. It opened the way to a small foyer, and the foyer led to our living room. The ceiling was just high enough so that I wouldn't need to crouch to avoid the exposed beams. The walls boasted intricate mosaics, each stone a different kind of blue, to remind us of all the different shades the water on Isle Esme had. There was a fireplace in the corner and a large bookshelf on the northern wall. And at the very core of the room, a piano.

Our house had a spacious bedroom, where we would be doing anything but sleeping. The bed was huge and covered in a waterfall of translucent gossamer, that fell down from the canopy to the floor, just like a soft ocean wave. My music collection was all there, stacking the wall facing the bed. Underneath the bed, there was a large case; inside it, a wide array of items awaited: climbing ropes, chains, scarves, belts - most of them new, since they never lasted long. One wall had large glass doors on it that opened straight into the back yard, where a small pond awaited.

Our house had a bathroom that perfectly mimicked one of the many bathrooms on Isle Esme. It wasn't awfully large - just large enough to fit a bathtub in which two people could lay together comfortably. The floor was a pale gold in colour, reminiscent of the sand glowing lightly in the sunlight.

Our house had a closet too, because I did not want to disappoint Alice. Just large enough for her to fit all the clothes she had been buying for Bella, but small enough to not upset my wife too much with its existence. Besides, I could think of another use for it, one that involved dressing down instead of dressing up.

Our house also had a room meant for no one in particular. It had a smaller bed and it was filled to the brim with shelves of books. It even had its small movie projector. When I told Esme about this room, she didn't have to ask too many questions to guess the reasons behind me wanting such a thing. She simply thought to herself: "More and more like his father, with each passing day".

Our house would no longer be a house from now on, for it would soon become our home. Bella just didn't know it when she stepped past the conveyor belts and started running in my direction, barely keeping a human pace. She landed straight into my arms, with her legs circling my waist and her arms around my neck. We were lost inside a kiss before we knew it.

"I've missed you so, so, so much," I murmured under her attack.

"Not nearly as much as I've missed you."

"How was your flight?"

"Uneventful for the most part."

She rushed to kiss me again, pressing herself to me as tightly as possible when she realized I had become hard.

"As much as I want to take you right now, we're still in an airport, my love," I reminded her, pulling away gently and letting her body back on the ground.

She didn't protest - at least not out loud. But her eyes were most certainly not pleased when she raised them up at me. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. I was still getting used to this new colour of her irises. Caramelized pumpkins, acacia honey, crystallized amber - there was a different undertone I would catch everyday. Today, her eyes were candied orange peel, their depth inviting me to get lost in them for the rest of my days.

And I would have gladly accepted that invitation, had it not been for Alice and Rosalie clearing their throats, making sure that I noticed them too.

"So you're our ride?" Alice chirped, before exploding in a fit of laughter and hugging me.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Looks like we've got the short end of the stick," Rosalie sneered, but greeted me with an embrace as well.

"Oh, shut up," Bella said and I was surprised to see them laugh in unison. Whatever had happened in Spain, it seemed to have helped them warm up to each other a little more. This warming up had started back in Alaska, once Rosalie had understood the reason behind Bella's misery. If anyone could understand the pain of not being able to have a kid, it was my sister.

The car ride home had been filled with silly inner jokes and stories of Spanish lands. I listened to all of them, happy to just be a witness to their cheerfulness. Without saying a word, Alice kept bombarding me with visions of Bella seeing our new home for the first time. They were all painted in various shades of happiness, leaving no doubt about whether she was going to enjoy my surprise or not.

When we arrived home, Bella got out of the car along with my sisters, motioning me to join them. She seemed taken aback when I told her to get back in the car. Alice and Rosalie gave her their best poker faces when she asked them if they knew anything about this. In the end, she got back in, confusion gracing her every feature.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," I said, winking.

"You know my stance on surprises."

"Of course. But this one you'll love."

"Will I?"

Before starting the engine again, I reached inside the pocket of my jacket, where I had carefully placed a thin scarf. Bella seemed surprised when I took it out and watched me with an intrigued expression.

"Come here, love," I said. "I want to cover your eyes."

She bit her lip right as a smile was starting to form.

"What? Here? Everyone will hear us, Edward."

"It's not for the reason you think it is," I assured her. "Although I can make that happen later, if you're up for it."

"After two weeks of phone sex, what do you think?"

I laughed and tied the scarf around her head, making sure that there were no gaps whatsoever in the eye area. As I did that, I couldn't help but notice the way she started pressing her legs together.

"What are you doing?" I asked, amused.

"It's not my fault you've Pavloved me into getting wet at the mere sight of a scarf," she muttered. "Now drive before I jump on you."

Not that I would have minded being jumped on by her, but I had been waiting for this moment for too long and I was dying to surprise her. I drove away, keeping a hand on her thigh as I made my way through the mildly beaten trail that led to the house. The scent of the roses insinuating in the air as we got closer prompted Bella to ask:

"A garden?"

"Yes, among other things."

The scent of fresh paint was subdued, now that more than a week had passed since I had finished painting the ceilings. However, the light fragrance of the pond was unmistakable.

"We're close to water," my wife inferred.

"You are correct," I admitted, stopping the car and getting out.

I rushed to open her door and help her out, even if she could have done all that on her own. She squeaked loudly when I lifted her feet off the ground and took her in my arms - after all, thresholds were my job.

I stepped inside the yard and stopped, taking everything in.

The freshly bloomed rose buds covering the window frames.

The way the twilight glazed the outside walls with berry-toned tendrils.

The scent of a storm approaching from the North.

The hope of new beginnings.

The woman in my arms. _God_ , the woman in my arms…

"You know you're everything to me, right?" I checked, grazing the contour of her waist with my fingers.

"You keep telling me that," she smirked.

"Good, I have my reasons."

Without another word, I reached with one hand behind Bella's back, to undo the knot of her scarf, letting it fall down in the grass. Her eyes remained stuck on my face for a little while; she looked dazed and confused and in love, all at the same time. I had to remind her to look around. She listened, her gaze leaving my face and studying our surroundings with care.

The seconds until she spoke again passed like a hazy dream. When I heard her voice, it was filled with so many emotions, that I got overwhelmed myself - not that I needed extra-help in this department:

"Edward, this is… I just..."

She was struggling to find her words, so I stepped in and said the words I had been waiting to say all week - although, to be frank, it felt as if I had been waiting a lifetime to finally say them:

"Welcome home, love."

* * *

 **Am I crying? Maybe, since this is the last chapter before the epilogue!** **I already know I'll be missing these two like crazy once I'm finished with this story.**

**I honestly feel all the feels right now and I would be so very thankful if you could let me know what you think. Any thoughts, small or big, are welcome and I'll make sure to respond to everyone!**

**A little update on the COVID-19 diagnosis: I'm feeling even better! There are no more symptoms and my sense of smell is almost as sharp as it used to be.**

**Stay safe and happy and get ready for the epilogue - it's coming way sooner than you'd think!**


	30. Epilogue

_**One year later** _

Deep inside the pulsing, golden core of Seville, the longest night of the Holy Week felt truly unending. People had poured out of their homes and into the streets, ready for the processions that would last until the break of dawn. The air was permeated with the scent of bitter orange trees in full floom, burnt tobacco, spilled olive oil and molten beeswax. Everywhere we looked, we saw the religious brotherhoods in their _capirote_ hats, making their way across the crowded streets, carrying flowers and candles and statues.

We had been here for a week at this point. It seemed that Bella particularly enjoyed the livelihood of this city. She said she had never seen something like this in her life - although several cases could be made for Buenos Aires, Tokyo, New York and many other places we had visited in the past six months. But I had grown accustomed to the way she would deem every new city her 'absolute favourite city in the world'.

But here, under the blossoming orange tree where we had taken shelter, I could understand why she never wanted to leave this place. I could hold her in my arms and watch the lazy movement of the crowds all night.

"It can't get better than this," she murmured, making herself more comfortable in my lap.

"Agreed."

From afar, a cheapjack spotted us under the tree and started making his way to us, seeing a possible opportunity.

"Pretty rose for beautiful lady?" he checked the waters in a broken English, smiling widely.

I had seen him being refused by several men in the last half an hour. He was carrying at least fifty roses with him, selling them for almost nothing.

"I'll buy all the roses, sir," I let him know, reaching for my wallet.

His eyes widened and he started thanking me, telling me that he could make me an offer, so that I could pay less. I raised one hand to stop him in the tracks, as I handed him the money. He gasped when he realized that it was double the amount he had expected. It took him another five minutes to thank me and tell us about his wife and kids waiting for him at home. In the end, he disappeared in the crowd, leaving us alone.

"Thank you for the roses," Bella said, placing a small kiss on my cheek. "Although you really didn't have to."

"You need to learn to let me spoil you every now and then, love."

"There are a couple of things I wouldn't mind letting you spoil me with."

As if to prove her words, she pushed her round bottom against me - I didn't need much to get hard, but the knowledge that she only had her red linen dress on, without anything else underneath, was enough to spur my senses.

I grabbed her hips and pushed her down, against my erection. She grinded back and forth a few times, before telling me:

"Careful there, you don't want to lose the game."

"Sweetheart, you're going to lose so bad you'll be begging me to have mercy with you."

This was no ordinary game. We had invented it a few months ago, when we were roaming the streets of Cairo, and we had been playing it whenever we went out. The rules were simple and involved a questionable amount of teasing. Basically, both of us would go out of our way to arouse the other, without kissing and especially without ever going all the way. The other had to resist the teasing - or cave and lose. Whoever won decided the punishment for the loser. Invariably, the punishment was always sexual in nature; unsurprisingly, it made us both feel as if we had won.

"Shall I remind you of the score?" I whispered in her ear.

As a general rule, I had better control than she did, if only for the fact that I had to resist her charm for so long in her human days. So naturally, I was way ahead of her.

"That won't change the fact that you are dying to fuck me right now," she responded. "And you can't."

"What a convoluted way to tell me you want my cock in your mouth."

Bella groaned, obviously frustrated, but did not contradict me. Her arousal was not as obvious as mine, but I could feel it tinging the air with its sweetness. By the end of this night, I would be buried so deep inside her I wouldn't even know the way out.

The crowds kept pouring around us, singing and chanting, making their way through the narrow streets. We watched them move and, every once in a while, Bella would sit up from my lap to offer flowers to the women passing by. At some point, she asked me if we could join the processions. Eager to do whatever she wanted, I accepted immediately.

Surrounded by people from every angle, my throat was aching. It had been a week since we had last hunted, making the discomfort noticeable, but still bearable. Bella gave no signs of feeling anything but fantastic as she followed the people ahead of her.

It had not been easy, but I had learned to let her exist without constantly supervising her every move, slowly letting go of the fear that she might break and do something she might regret. At first, it burned me from the inside out. But as more and more months passed incident-free, I started to understand that she could hold her own without my help. If I had to be honest, I had grown more in the last year than I had in a century.

It wasn't the kind of learning I had experienced during my long life; no books or manuals or classes or exams had been involved, but rather honest discussions. As it turned out, there was no better way to solve underlying conflicts than simply talking about them, even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt.

We hadn't forgotten Nellie. We couldn't. The pain eventually subsided, being replaced by longing. Alice would monitor her through her visions, checking if she was okay on a weekly basis for my sake. This way, I could see her going on missions before Aro even got the chance to send her. I could see her getting more and more control over her power, to the point in which she could decide exactly whose power she could take.

I could also see her getting more and more intrigued with Chelsea's and Corin's powers and slowly taking them away from them, trying to plant chaos in the coven from within - and Aro never confronted her, since he was under her spell as well. I could see her putting Jane on her ass when she felt like it minutes before it happened. But mostly, I could see her going through the motions, not quite content with this new life.

Carlisle had advised me and Bella countless times against trying to pay her a visit. He knew that this would only stir things further - and a new conflict with the Volturi was the last thing our family needed. He simply told us to have patience. And I might have had a harder time having patience if it hadn't been for the vision Alice had had a few nights before Bella and I left Glasgow to travel the world for our second honeymoon.

It had not been a new vision. It was the very same image she had seen back in Taipei. An image of Bella, Nellie and me on a deserted beach, under a full moon. Bella and Nellie running and playing. Me watching them contentedly from the sand. She hadn't had it again after that - but she didn't have to, because it had been enough to give me and my wife new hope. And where there was hope, there was strength to move on without crumbling.

Besides, Bella knew how to keep me in check. If she sensed any change within my behaviour - and God, this woman could sense absolutely everything, as if she had a special radar built in just for me - she would postpone anything and everything just so that we could talk. After decades of keeping things in, this was different - so different, in fact, that I was still getting accustomed to it.

Traveling the world together helped as well - it felt right to leave the supernatural troubles behind and simply be us. We had to be careful, of course, by hunting regularly and avoiding sunlight at all costs. But these worries felt just like an afterthought as long as I got to roam the world with Bella's hand in mine.

In the middle of this Sevillian crowd, I could not help but fawn over my wife. She looked as beautiful as ever in her red dress, mingling with the crowd and pulling me after her. It felt pleasantly normal to just exist in this perfect piece of the eternity with her. There was nobody coming after us. No reason for us to return home anytime soon.

"Don't fall behind!" she said, turning around to obliterate me with her smile.

I followed her, hopelessly in love - with her, with this city, with this life. Getting lost on the streets of Spain, in the middle of a religious festivity, had never been on my bucket list, yet I found myself wondering how that could ever be.

The mob was heading to the Cathedral of Seville. When Bella least expected it, I pulled her to the side and turned right on a smaller pedestrian street, from where the sound of a guitar and castanets resonated. She accepted the detour with a giggle, not questioning it one bit. The street was flanked with taperías and taverns on either side. I didn't think twice about entering the one that had a live band singing on the terrace and people dancing around the small stage.

I motioned Bella to wait for me as I went inside to buy several drinks, so that our presence there could be somewhat justified. When I returned, she was waiting for me at a table. Leaving the bottles on the tabletop, I stretched my arm in front of her.

"May I have the honour, love?" I asked.

"You're kidding."

"You don't think you can handle one dance with me?"

"Fine, but _just_ one dance."

The band was playing an old bolero song when she stood up, raising her eyebrows in defiance at me. I led her to the swarm of dancers, savouring the way the honeyed lavender of her fragrance blended with the scent of sangria from the tables.

Bella allowed herself to lean into a pirouette when I directed her with my hands to do so, before arriving in my arms.

"You're evil," she groaned.

"You're beautiful. Just follow my lead."

With my hands on her hips, it felt natural to move to the warm rhythm with her. She seemed puzzled - not in the clumsy way she might have looked in her past life, but rather in a way that confirmed to me that she was not aware of how sensual she looked without even trying.

I adored the way Bella spun with me, moving her hips with more and more resolve with each new chorus. Seeing her like this did unspeakable things to my body and mind. I could do nothing else but smile as she allowed herself to forget about her dance aversion and to simply enjoy this never ending night with me.

At this point, there was no difference between us and the human couples surrounding us from every angle. The night was still young and most people here would not know the comfort of sleeping too soon, much like us.

"You're a natural," I complimented her.

"As my husband, you're kind of obligated to say stuff like that to me."

"Well, as your lover, I couldn't possibly lie about what I find sexy about you. Turn around."

I grabbed her waist and she obliged, turning until her back was pressed to the front side of my body. The sudden contact sent positive electricity through my veins and deep into my core.

"Keep moving, love," I directed, allowing my hands to go lower, back on her hips.

She chuckled, but continued swaying back and forth, from side to side, her bottom grazing directly against the hardness in my pants. With so many people around us, I didn't have to worry about anyone noticing this. Instead, I simply started moving my own hips in such a way that I could push my erection directly between her dress-covered buttocks.

Her low moan alerted me that I was on the right track.

"Something wrong?" I checked, guiding her hips with my hands.

"You're playing dirty."

"Only way I know how."

I turned her back around with a short pirouette, so that I could face her. Her eyes were two burning marigolds, smoldering me with their intensity. I felt her hands roaming slowly across my abdomen, then over my chest, leaving pure fire in their trail. In the end, they settled in my hair, playing with the tousled locks in a way that felt anything but innocent.

"Leave that shield down," I provoked her.

A devilish smile blossomed on her lips and I knew what would follow before she even opened her mouth:

"Only if you give up."

"I can keep this up all night, Bella."

"I'd like to see you try."

Confident in my own self-control, I decided to break all the rules and I leaned down to kiss her. I could have chosen to at least keep it mild, but I didn't. Instead, my mouth opened and hers did the same out of instinct, and I unashamedly slipped my tongue through her lips. Her fingers pulled down on my hair, bringing me closer to her level and pressing her body against mine with firmness.

All of a sudden, I could no longer concentrate on the music in the background. All I could hear, all I could feel, all I could taste was _her_. My body was hyper-aware of everything: how soft her tongue felt, how well her curves were molding to my own form, how delicious her breath tasted as it rolled down my throat, along with our ever-deepening kiss.

I only stopped to get some reason back, but I quickly found myself focusing my attention on her neck.

"You're breaking the rules," she gasped, starting to move again to the rhythm.

"Honestly, sweetheart? I don't give a damn."

"You know what you've got to do," she teased.

"You wish," my response was followed by a small bite, that made her whimper ever so slightly.

"I'm so wet, just imagine how easily you'd slide in…"

I groaned against her neck, ruffling the fabric of her dress in my fist in frustration. From the side, I could hear the erotic musings of a woman who was analyzing my wife from head to toe. I grabbed her tighter, as if to prove a point.

"I could easily take care of that if you'd just say the word," I whispered.

"Edward…"

"I'm listening…"

My attention was fully on her lips, waiting for her to say what I had been hoping for. But the next sounds didn't come from her lips. I had grown so accustomed to the sound of her mind, that I could no longer be surprised. But I was still in complete awe whenever she let me in. And in this particular moment, her thoughts were focused on one thing and one thing only: getting possessed by me.

The images inside her brain poured inside mine with overwhelming intensity. She had taken all the blazing memories of us from the last months and threw them at me, all at once. There was the memory of us making love on a bench in Griffith Park, as the lights of Los Angeles shone brightly underneath us. And there was the memory of her pleasuring me with her mouth underwater for a full hour, in the clear waters of Sardinia. And there was the memory of switching roles for once and allowing her to tie me up and have her way with me in a hotel in the heart of Mauritius.

"God, Bella…" my voice came out in a groan and I had to remind myself of the fact that I had to keep moving to the music.

She took advantage of my momentary weakness and hit me once again - this time, with a hazier memory, from her human days, but all the more powerful: the day I had changed her. Almost through a fog, I could see the animalistic hunger she had seen in my eyes that afternoon. She showed me all the excitement that had come with me making love to her in that pivotal moment - and how much it had aroused her when I had finally bitten her throat and started feeding.

There was a sense of profoundly guilty pleasure attached to that memory - almost as if she understood how wrong it must have been to enjoy my biggest sin as much as she did. But more than that, deeper than that, she also didn't really care.

"Fuck," I gasped, unable to control myself. "Show me again."

And she did, this time focusing more on the little details she could remember: the rapacity of my kisses, the way she had wanted to feel my teeth piercing her skin, the need to have my venom inside her, despite the pain.

It was pure torture not to be inside her at this point - and just like that, I was past the point of no return.

"You win," I said.

"What?"

"I need to fuck you. Right now."

"Mr. Cullen," she smiled, her thoughts swimming in the rapture of her victory. "If that's what it takes to get you to cave, I must say you're a little deranged."

"I think it's safe to say we both are."

She started laughing and I took her hand in mine, taking her away from the dance floor and making my way towards the exit. We were back on the pedestrian street in no time. I almost hadn't noticed the fact that her thoughts were once again guarded by her shield until I tried scouring them, in search for whatever punishment she had planned for me.

"So what's next?" I asked.

"I'm wondering how long you can withhold your orgasm while you're inside me."

"And you said I was evil."

We walked aimlessly on the street, hoping to find a place - any place - where we could be together undisturbed. Our hotel was too far away at this point and there was no way I could waste more unnecessary minutes without plunging deeply inside Bella. There was no motel or hotel on this particular street, but the scent of cardboard in the air alerted me that we might have been close to a warehouse.

"How do you feel about some casual trespassing?" I checked.

"Let's do it."

I grabbed her by the waist, thinking this was our life now: loving, laughing, playing, living every moment to the fullest, as one should. We didn't know then it would take us another year of discovering the world together before we returned to our family. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry when we passed by a pair of parents bickering with their teenage kids. We didn't know what the rest of eternity held for us.

Truth be told, we didn't know most things, but we didn't have to: it was enough to know that we had one another. At the end of the day, it was all that mattered and the one thing we had fought for ever since we had laid eyes on each other. Having Bella in my arms would forever mean that not even the blackest day could ever be truly bad, while the brightest days would be all the more happy, simply because she existed and she was mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to protect.

Right now, we could simply be us, the two luckiest people on planet Earth, living in this faultless slice of forever.

And one day, if there was a God above listening to my prayers, we might even be three.

* * *

**I absolutely cannot believe that we're here. The finish line. The absolute end. God, what a ride this has been!**

**When I first started writing this story, back in May, I was only writing it for myself. What started as a simple Edward-changing-Bella-during-sex one-shot (written just as a way to pass the time during the spring lockdown, while I was freaking out about the "Midnight Sun" announcement), turned into a 170K+ words, 30 chapters story.**

**Teenage-me never would have guessed that I would be back to writing AND actually finishing a Twilight fanfiction story in my 20s, but I like to believe she'd be highkey proud. "Midnight Sun" is the sole reason this story even exists, so I can only be thankful that Stephenie gave us this book.**

**Thank you to each and every one who has had the time and interest to go through my story. If you've ever written a comment, however small, just know that you more than likely have made my entire day and I am not kidding, so thank you from the bottom of my heart! And thank you for the kudos and the bookmarks, they mean a lot!**

**This story has been such an escape for me and I hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm going to miss writing about Edward, Bella and Nellie so much - and I might just do a few more outtakes, so keep an eye on those ;).**

**Right now, however, I have to wave 'goodbye' to them, because I am currently working on another story written from Edward's point of view. I'll only say this: if you're into bloody, sexy and dark stories, this new one is for you. Stay tuned and follow me if you want to be among the first people who read it!**

**Please, stay safe and healthy out there!**


	31. Bonus Chapter/Potential Sequel Prologue: Uprising

**OMG, guys, this is not a drill, this is actually happening!**

**"After Nightfall" has been nominated for Top Ten Fics completed in January on the TwiFanfictionRecs blog!** **Writing this story has kept me sane and happy throughout this pandemic, so if you've enjoyed reading it, I would be forever grateful for your vote!** **You can vote[here](https://twifanfictionrecs.com/2021/02/07/vote-for-your-top-10-completed-fics-january-2021/) \- once a day, every 24 hours.**

**As a means to thank you in advance for your votes, I'll be dropping this bonus chapter here, in case you were wondering what Edward and Bella have been up to after the events of "After Nightfall" wrapped up :). If I ever write a sequel, consider this the prologue.**

* * *

_**Seven years later** _

I had been a mess all night. I knew Tyler was scheduled first thing in the morning and this made me unusually nervous. The kid was quite possibly one of the sweetest, kindest patients I had ever had, which made my mission today all the more demanding - I wanted to help him, if only he could gather the courage to talk. But I knew things were hardly ever black and white when it came to children and their emotional availability to open up.

"You're going to pop a vein or something if you keep frowning like that," Bella sighed deeply, as she was getting dressed - the same maddening combination of tight blue pencil skirt and white blouse that had driven me insane the day prior.

"I just might if you will be anywhere near me wearing that _again_."

"I'm sure you can keep it in your pants until tonight, when we get back home, mister. Besides, aren't you the master of self control?"

"You're pushing your luck there, sweetheart," I warned her teasingly. "I'm far from perfect when it comes to resisting you."

"Good thing Jasper has these days off then - this way, he won't be there to temper you."

"Oh, don't remind me of Jazz. Alice has avoided me all week, I'm starting to think they're up to something."

"They just want some time alone, no need to overthink it."

"Have you met me?"

Outside, the rain had calmed down enough for us to get to the car without getting completely soaked. It wasn't even six A.M., which meant that the sun was still waiting under the horizon to shine its light - not that it would shine too brightly, given the thick blanket of clouds above us.

Glasgow was only beginning to wake up by the time we arrived in the parking lot of the clinic. A sense of pride washed over me every time I saw the ivy climbing up the old walls of the building. This clinic was a joint project between me, my wife, Jasper and Alice. The idea behind it had been nothing more than pillow talk at first, back when Bella and I were still traveling the world; considering the fact that I could read minds - and the fact that my gift had proven useful a lifetime ago, back when one lovely kid in particular was trying to run from her past - she suggested that I put my gift to good use and help those kids that need psychological guidance, but that are too afraid to let things out fully. I brushed it off at first - but the more and more I thought about it, I realized it made sense.

When we returned, we knew it was time to put our plan into motion somehow. I already had a Master's degree in Psychology, but I still needed a PhD if I wanted to be an actual psychologist. Bella needed a little more than that, so she started studying for her Bachelor's degree at the University of Glasgow. By the time I was finished with my PhD, six years had passed. Bella had just completed her dissertation and she was getting ready to get her own PhD - that was when Jasper and Alice jumped in.

With Jasper's affinity for legal paperwork and Alice's expertise in business, we managed to open our own private clinic - a small, old-school building that Esme had found for rent, facing the Clyde River. When she wasn't studying, Bella was my assistant psychologist. It took us another six months to get everything in place and hire a few people: an accountant, a receptionist and a marketing officer. But when we officially opened our doors to the world, it was all worth it. Besides, it was a welcome change of pace from our usual highschool routine.

Knowing how expensive psychological care could get, we had decided to offer it for free - after all, we catered to kids. And there was no point in being greedy, since we had enough resources to pay our employees, thanks to Alice being our own personal Wolf of Wall Street when it came to investing in the stock market.

In my short experience of being a psychologist, I had met a fair amount of special kids. But none of them had troubled me quite like young Tyler did. He was 14 and he barely ever talked. He hadn't always been like this - there had been a point in his life when he was quite a lively fellow. His silence had begun soon after he had started attending street dance lessons, to impress a girl he liked; naturally, his mother - a lovely, if not a bit chaotic woman in her forties - got worried and decided to bring him in.

It didn't take me long at all to understand what was going on. Tyler might have been as quiet as a mouse, but his mind wasn't. Every few minutes, his thoughts would intermingle with a specific set of short flashbacks: the hands of a woman under his shirt, the same hands unbuckling his belt, her piercingly blue eyes too close for comfort, her voice telling him his friends would be jealous if they knew. Piecing together the flashbacks and his other thoughts, I had realized that the woman in question was his dance instructor. She couldn't have been older than 25, yet she was a monster through and through.

And it drove me insane that I had made no progress with Tyler during our three appointments together. While pushing him was the last thing on my mind, I couldn't bear to know that he would have to attend those dance lessons again. After our first appointment, I made sure to tell his mother that putting an end to his street dance career might be a good first step. When she asked me why, I simply told her that the lessons could be a source of additional stress for him. Thankfully, she didn't question my advice.

Still, I had no actual evidence to go against the dance instructor - but I would, soon enough. Carlisle already knew a lawyer that could get Tyler's abuser in no time, if he decided to speak.

As we stepped past the mahogany doors, Bella squeezed my hand tightly, getting my attention. I looked at her and she smiled.

"You're going to do great today, precious," she told me.

"Thank you, I hope."

Once inside, I could see Mia, our receptionist, getting ready at her desk, fumbling with what must have been a lipstick. She had dark circles under her eyes, a testament of her night of partying. There was still a faint trace of alcohol in her blood, but she did her best to cover it when she raised her eyes up to us and offered us her most convincing smile.

"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!"

"Good morning, Mia - you're awfully early," I noticed.

A small flash of her last few hours spent in a stranger's bed made me realize that she had not slept at all in fact.

"Rough night, sir," she grimaced, not quite lying.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

She sighed, looking longingly at my behind as I guided Bella towards our shared office. Mia was a nice girl, truly - she had just finished studying Liberal Arts and she was trying to find her purpose. But that purpose didn't seem to come as easily as she would have liked. Nice as she was, I tried to keep my distance from her. I might have felt more comfortable in her presence had she not had such a peculiar and unspoken fascination with my butt whenever I turned around.

"Let's go out tonight," I suggested as soon as I closed the door behind me, my voice barely hiding the edge of my thoughts. "Just you and me. What do you say?"

"I'd love nothing more than that, but I've got that exam tomorrow, and you know it. Besides, I've still got to do some writing for my paper."

"You'll do amazing regardless, love, you always do."

"Let's just take a raincheck, okay?"

I growled, not pleased, but also understanding her motives. My escape could wait - and it had to, especially now that more pressing issues had to be handled.

Tyler arrived alone this time, carrying a note from his mother in which she was excusing herself for not being able to bring him to the clinic herself today, due to some stomach bug she had caught. I walked in with moderate expectations, and I walked out after an hour with every single one of them crushed.

He didn't talk. Again.

Granted, it was only our fourth appointment, and selective mutism in teenagers was not something that went away overnight - even more so when it was caused by a profound traumatic experience. But keeping everything in was not a healthy coping mechanism either. For the entirety of our appointment, I could hear his thoughts clashing chaotically inside his brain, making him question everything. A part of him wanted to let the story out - but the bigger part of him would not let him. He was convinced that if he would have said anything to me, I would mock him for not being 'man enough' - an agonizing worry for a 14 year old to have.

I made sure to allow for warm-up time. I tried focusing solely on nonverbal communication, with moderately good results. I tried easing him in with a prop, as any guidebook would have recommended, but his thoughts soon showed me that he found this approach downright stupid. I tried touching upon some topics that he used to be interested in, according to his mother - and while I did pique his interest, it hadn't been enough to get him to respond.

By the end, hardly any progress had been made.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, my mind constantly trying to find ways around the Tyler situation. Carlisle had advised me to be patient, but it was easier said than done. How could I be patient, when a kid was suffering in silence, with no peace in sight? And how could I be patient, when his abuser was out there, possibly preying on other children? My past self would have got rid of her without thinking twice about it.

It was a little after four P.M. when Mia informed me that the girl who was scheduled next - the last appointment of the day - had called in sick. I hadn't expected relief to overcome me like it did and I almost felt guilty for it.

"Just reschedule it and take the rest of the day off then," I suggested.

"I've still got to finish the end of the month report, sir," she responded coyly.

" _I could use some sleep though. I'm never doing late night booty calls again, fuck that_."

"Don't worry about it. I'll have Jasper finish it when he returns. Just go home, get some rest. And tell Marie and Jackson to do the same, while you're at it."

She refrained from jumping up with joy and resumed herself to a simple, polite 'thank you'. I walked away as she was packing her things and returned to the office. Bella's nose was in a book - some manual about the theory of behaviorism. But as soon as she saw me, she put the book down, rushing to welcome me with an embrace.

"You look like a mess," my wife observed. "This day hasn't been easy on you, has it?"

"It hasn't, love."

"Tyler?" she guessed correctly.

"Precisely. It's driving me insane."

"He's still not there, Edward. You can't force progress."

"I wouldn't dream of forcing him to do anything. Whatever his pace is, I'll modulate myself to replicate it. But he's just… he's suffering so much. If only you could hear him."

She sighed, pressing her lips on the side of my neck in the process. After being frustrated all day, the sudden contact sent my head spinning.

"You'll get him there, I know you can," she murmured against my skin.

"What if I can't, my love?"

"Well, in a way, you've done it in the past," she reminded me, and we both fell silent after that.

It was never easy to bring up that specific part of the past. It had been more than eight years since we had last seen Nellie, yet her memory had never left us - not that it could, when I never failed to ask Alice for weekly updates on what the future held for the little one. But it hurt to remember all the same - and especially to ponder on what could have been.

I tried concentrating less on that and more on Bella's lips working their way up to my ears. I pulled her closer to me, allowing myself to forget and simply concentrate on the fragrant storm of lavender and sugar that was taking over my senses. No day could be truly bad when I had her with me and I was more aware of that fact now that her hands were in my hair, her mouth searching for mine.

Without a word, I kissed her - perhaps too roughly, but I couldn't find it in me to care. She became a melted mess in no time, quivering and pulling at my strands as if there was no tomorrow. Not once parting from her, my hands grabbed the hem of her skirt and I started rolling it up, until all the fabric was ruffled over her hips. Feeling the urgency grow stronger, I squeezed the soft flesh of her buttocks, digging at it with my nails.

"Damn this skirt," I groaned, my pants suddenly too tight for comfort. "I've got to have you right now."

"But Mia? And Jackson, and Marie…"

While she seemed worried about the staff hearing us, her body was making the decisions for her, because she was unbuckling my belt and unzipping my pants with speed as she was speaking.

"I've told them to take the rest of the day off. They're leaving as we speak."

Bella's hand tightened around my cock and started moving it up and down, a mere preview of what I needed.

"Fuck," I gasped, unable to think of anything else when her hand was stroking me like that. "On my desk, love. Now."

She refused to part from me, so I had to guide her with my hands, encouraging her with playful smacks over her tantalizing bottom. I made sure to rip her underwear in the process - by the time she was bent over my desk, there was no barrier between us. I grabbed her wrists and held them behind her back, my action causing her to moan in anticipation.

"Tell me how you want it, Bella," I demanded, as I grazed between her legs with my erection, feeling her arousal coating me.

"Edward, please..."

"I want you to be a little more explicit, if you know what's good for you."

She groaned when I pushed my tip between her folds - not entering, just teasing.

"Fuck me hard," she gasped, trying to push herself on me.

With my free hand, I gathered her locks in my fist and pulled at them.

"More," I said.

"I… want you to bite my neck until it hurts."

"Mhmmmm, I can do that. Other requests?"

"Ah, damn… just quit the teasing and fuck me, Edward!"

I laughed at the annoyed desperation in her voice and tightened my grip on her hair and wrists.

"So feisty," I offered. "What you wish is what you get, my love."

And with that, I pushed myself all the way in, sliding in the deliciously tight space and crying out at the delirious sensation of her walls clenching around me. I cursed, letting the lust of our union consume me. I bucked my hips, retreating slightly, only to thrust myself with full force immediately after.

Bella allowed her shield to fall and suddenly, we were one single being: moving, breathing, panting, dripping. It was always so easy to forget which thoughts were mine and which were hers in these moments. Our needs complimented themselves in such a way, that it felt as if her musings were mere extensions of mine and vice-versa.

When she wanted faster, I wanted faster. When she wanted deeper, I wanted deeper. When she was getting closer to the edge of the void, I was right there with her. When she needed an incentive to fall over, I was already whispering delightful obscenities in her ear to get her to unravel.

We came fast and hard the first time around, my teeth sinking inside her throat right as she was coming undone, breaking a quarter of the desk in our mutual frenzy. The second time, we chose the much safer, sturdier floor, taking our time to enjoy each other. She ended up above me, licking up and down my shaft, as I was busy moving my tongue between her folds, savouring the distinctive taste of our combined orgasms.

I had no idea where time had gone when my phone started vibrating, indicating that I had received a message. I ignored it at first, deciding that nothing could be as important as offering my wife another orgasm as she was riding my face with rapacity. But when the vibrations kept buzzing, not a sign in sight that they would stop anytime soon, Bella reached for the annoying device and handed it to me. She moved a bit, until her buttocks arrived on my chest, to allow me some room to breathe - as if I wanted such a thing.

Unwillingly, I unlocked the screen.

"Alice is unbelievable", I groaned, seeing the eight text messages my sister had sent me within the span of one minute.

"What is it?"

"She wants us to come home to the main house."

"Did she tell you why?"

"No, just that it's urgent."

Bella pouted, her mind silently reflecting upon whether we had time to squeeze in one last round of sex before leaving. I was getting ready to prove to her that we could, when my phone vibrated once more. The new message was clear as day:

' _No, there is not enough time for that. Trust me, you don't want to miss this. Get your asses here. NOW!_ '

Lacking any kind of motivation, we picked up our clothes from the floor and started getting dressed. The broken-down desk looked tragic, but there was nothing I could do about it now. Deciding that this was a problem for another time, I closed the blinds of the office and exited in a hurry.

The drizzle from the morning had turned into a full-blown torrential rain. By the time we were inside the car, we looked as if we had dived underwater with our clothes on. We chatted idly on the way back, trying to come up with various explanations for Alice's strange behaviour in the past couple of days and her erratic texts. The explanation that seemed to make most sense to both of us was our upcoming wedding anniversary - we wanted nothing more than to take two weeks off just for ourselves, but Alice was also convinced that a party would be in order before we left. Maybe this was the reason she had avoided me to the best of her capabilities: she just wanted to surprise us without either of us having the chance to protest properly.

Back home, I parked the car in the driveway, somewhat thankful that Bella's shield was drowning out the clamor of mental voices that would have normally filled my head years ago. I much preferred the silence when it came to my family. I had unwillingly invaded their privacy for too long, so having a constant way out from their thoughts felt like a blessing. I sniffed the air carefully, expecting to inhale a scent that would give Alice away: balloons, flowers, confetti, anything. But there was nothing.

Bella looked at me, raising an eyebrow, and I simply shrugged, unsure of what to expect. We stepped inside the house, hearing a low conversation coming from the living room - at this point, I was even expecting some sort of prank, given the fact that there were no party decorations in sight, yet the atmosphere felt oddly ominous. But just as we were entering the glass-walled living room, I saw _her_.

Sitting on the sofa, dressed in a black robe.

Surrounded by my entire family.

Laughing at one of Emmett's dumb jokes.

Nellie.

I froze in place, unable to move another inch. This was a hallucination. It had to be, there was no other reasonable explanation for what I was seeing. It had been almost a decade since I had last seen her before my very eyes, this just couldn't be her. I felt Bella's hand gripping mine tightly through a haze, almost as if she wasn't even here.

Was I going insane? Was it even possible?

Not even on my darkest days since we had parted ways, had I had this insanity happen to me. She was nothing more than a chimera, I tried convincing myself. Just something my mind had come up with to soothe the hurt of not knowing how to help Tyler. But then again, chimeras couldn't talk.

And this one most definitely could, when she opened her mouth to talk:

"Are you going to stay there and stare all day, weirdos?"

My wife was the first to move. I watched, completely paralyzed, as she went to the sofa and hugged the small robe-wearing figure tightly. I heard Rosalie's laugh, I saw my parents holding on to each other tightly, but I was still having trouble comprehending the scene in front of me.

Not many seconds had passed since I had stopped in my tracks, dumbfounded. Nellie - who could not possibly be Nellie - raised up and came to me, rolling her eyes right before throwing her arms around me. Carefully, full of uncertainty and expecting her to disappear any second, I embraced her in return. It very much felt as if I was holding an illusion in my arms.

"Are you real?" I asked, like an idiot.

"No, I'm a fucking hologram, old man."

I looked down at her and she raised her eyes at me - the same dark marmalade eyes from my memories - and started laughing. Quite possibly one of the purest sounds in the world.

"H-how… just how is this possible?" I demanded to know. "How are you here?"

"She's here for a routine check, bro," Emmett announced from where he was standing, sounding positively smug. "The Italian royalty wants to know if we're up to something."

"Close enough, big guy," Nell said, pulling away from our shared hug.

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Let's give them some privacy," my father suggested kindly, but firmly. "We already know the story."

Emmett protested, invoking his 'right to see Edward be a total daddy', but Rosalie nudged him to move with her elbow. Alice and Jasper threw a knowing look at our little trio right before disappearing upstairs, with the rest. And just like that, Bella and I remained alone with Nellie, for the first time in almost a decade. She made herself comfortable on the sofa once again, and we joined her, sitting down on either side of her.

"So… hi," she said.

"Hi right back," Bella chuckled, and she sounded just as overwhelmed as I was feeling inside.

"I know this is not something either of you expected, but… I've been thinking of doing it for a while."

"Do what?"

"It's a long story and I might not have enough time until Jane and Alec get back, but here it goes: I've been toying around with Chelsea's and Corin's powers for years. It was tough to steal them at first, but I've learned to do it when Aro wasn't looking. The thing is… they're the glue that keeps the entire coven together. Chelsea manipulates relationships and Corin induces them into a false sense of contentment. It hasn't been easy, but... I think I've managed to loosen their foundation."

"Wait a minute," I interrupted, terrified of what this meant for her. "I've seen you doing some stuff in Alice's visions, but not to this extent. If that is the case, how are you still alive? Aro must have read your thoughts at least once."

"Aro hasn't read my thoughts in seven years, Edward. I've managed to keep him at bay. He's convinced I'm his right-hand ally."

"But… Chelsea and Corin must have told him something… right?" Bella quipped, just as confused as I was.

"How could they? They're under the spell of their own powers without even knowing."

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, kid."

"I guess it might have been, had I not taken my time to perfect it. It's not something I've done overnight, you know? It's taken me years to get here. This is the only reason I'm here now, in fact. The fake bonds and the induced contentment are almost part of who they are now, after so many years - kind of like it used to be before, when Chelsea and Corin were doing this of their own accord."

I stared at her, trying to digest all this new information.

"If Aro reads your mind just once, you are screwed," I pointed out. "You do realize this, right?"

"Except he won't."

"Why are you doing this, Nellie?" Bella asked, reaching out to grab her hand. "You're playing with fire. Just the fact that you're here now might spell trouble for you."

"It's just a routine coven check-up. Don't worry about me."

"But you've said Jane and Alec are close by."

"Yes, hunting at the outskirts of the city, because I've asked them to. They're harmless - Jane and I have this tacit understanding that if she lets me be, I don't steal her power. And Alec's got a bit of a crush on me, so he's a non-issue."

She looked at me, then at Bella, then back at me, almost as if she was expecting a round of applause. But I could not do it, now that I was beginning to understand just what exactly she had been trying to do since we had separated.

The glimpses from Alice's visions had not been enough to paint the whole picture. Nellie wasn't just trying to dismantle the Volturi from within - she was _succeeding_ , if her words were anything to go by. What that meant for her or for us, I couldn't exactly tell - manipulating the dynamics within a coven was one thing. Escaping from said coven was another thing, considering that those frail dynamics could not hold up for long if she was away, unable to steal Chelsea's and Corin's powers.

"What's the point of all this, Nellie? You're putting yourself in so much danger, but for what?"

"You really need to live a little, old man," she winked at me and I found myself wondering how the years without her had gone by so quickly - right now, it felt as if we had never been parted. "The thing is… there might be a war of sorts coming. I don't know, I might be wrong. But I've made Aro question almost everyone around him, Caius and Marcus included. He's getting a little paranoid."

I left my face fall into my palms, closing my eyes and not quite believing what I was hearing.

"Wow, you're quite a hurricane," Bella observed, pride seeping in her voice.

"I know I am, thank you. So as I was saying, shit might blow up. Or not. But Aro is second-guessing the loyalty of those around him and he's not quite happy. And… I might've made the guard question his authority too."

"You might've done _what_?" I snapped, opening my eyes to look at her, unsure whether to feel proud, annoyed or a questionable mix of both. "Nellie, dear, are you feeling suicidal?"

"Not at all," she said, shrugging. "Just feeling as if there's no room for overly-conceited monarchs in our world, especially after living with them for what feels like too long."

"All right, but… that means you still can't come live with us… right?" Bella intervened, unwilling to dance around the subject.

The kid's eyebrows danced up from underneath her messy fringe, seemingly surprised by my wife's directiveness.

"Well, no. I mean… I could leave, but it would only be a matter of time before they snapped back to reality - well, the reality Aro had made Chelsea and Corin create. And I'd probably die, which is not cool."

"So what's the plan?" I queried, mentally preparing myself for more madness to follow.

"Stick around until they implode? I don't know, truthfully. I'm not planning every step, because fuck knows how things can change overnight. But it's been going pretty great so far."

She grimaced and remained silent for a while, allowing us to analyze everything she had told us. It was obviously too late to advise her against starting a silent war, since she had already done that. Had I not known her, I would have never believed that this frail-looking girl could wreak havoc like that, without raising a finger. Despite my better judgement, I could not help the pleasant swelling in my chest, that was slowly alerting me that I was, indeed, proud of her. Dangerously so, all things considered.

"Can you promise me you'll be careful?" I questioned her.

"Yes, old man, whatever helps you to calm the fuck down."

"Language," I hissed and she immediately started laughing, as if she had just heard the best joke in the universe.

Bella threw her arms around Nellie, joining her in laughter - and soon enough, I was laughing with them, amazed by the improbability of this temporary reunion. I watched them, trying to convince myself for the third time that night that this was indeed happening. As feeble as this moment was, it was more than I could have hoped for. How many excuses had I invented in these last eight years, in hopes that one of them might be good enough to allow me to go to the Volturi and claim Nellie back? Tons, yet none of them had been good enough to be put into practice without Alice foreseeing some imminent doom. This precious moment was solely Nellie's doing, and I wished with every fibre in my body for it to never end.

But while we were, for all intents and purposes, immortal, time itself wasn't. The moment died too soon, and I found myself saying goodbye when I wasn't even ready to do so. However, this particular goodbye didn't feel definitive, as the one in Paris had felt ages ago. Beyond the embraces and the words, it had a hidden 'see you later' layer underneath, that made it bearable.

When I watched Nellie walk out the door, I knew the stinging in my eyes was not an omen of pain.

It was a herald of hope.

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**Woah, this was it!**

**I'm not going to lie, this chapter almost wrote itself, since these ideas have been floating around in my brain for almost two months now. Writing them down felt oddly cathartic.**

**If you've got any thoughts on what happened and what the future might hold for the Cullens, it would make my day to read your reviews and, as** **always, respond! :D**

**And pleeease, don't forget to vote for this story if you've enjoyed it!**

**Stay safe and happy!**


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